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Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Coming Out of Your Shell: Choosing to be Seen

Coming Out of My Shell, Lee Bryant
All Rights Reserved

'Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.' Khalil Gibran

The Fear of Disconnection Keeps Us Disconnected

What keeps you enclosed in your shell--distant and separate from others? Shame.

According to Brene Brown, author of 'The Gifts of Imperfection', shame is the fear of disconnection--we think there is something so shameful about us that if people really knew us they would reject us--so we keep our distance.

Unfortunately our negative thinking keeps us firmly ensconced in our shells keeping us from being seen, heard, and known by others. In other words we bring on the very thing we fear--a feeling of disconnection and distance from others as we remain in our shell of armor hidden from view.

'Most cynics are really crushed romantics: they've been hurt, they're sensitive, and their cynicism is a shell that's protecting this tiny, dear part in them that's still alive.'  Jeff Bridges

Choose to Be Seen, Choose to Connect

Choose to show the tiny, dear part of yourself. 

Practice finding your courage in moments of vulnerability and decide to show yourself instead of hiding. The more consciously you practice this, the better you'll get at stepping into the opportunities that are always present in your life.

I'm here to be seen. 

In 'Four Steps to Authentic Communication' Robert Holden shares a Zulu greeting so simple and direct it's worthy of practicing it in your head even if it unnerves you too much to say out loud. When you come into the presence of another person face one another, look directly into each other's eyes and say 'I'm here to be seen'. The other person replies, 'I see you'.


Choose to connect. Practice stepping out into your life, knowing you have value and wealth inside you worthy of sharing. Your vulnerability and imperfections are what make you lovable and human. Choose to use them to your advantage. 

Coming Out of My Shell: One Woman's Story

'Your blog post was so timely as I peck at my shell anticipating release....I just shared the Zulu greeting with a group of friends and requested we experiment with it with each other. I am soooooo grateful to you to continue to expose these tender parts we all share. Compassion for each other is the path.'


Imagine Your Own Coming Out....

Imagine what would happen if you practiced this greeting with your friends each and every time you met.

Imagine the thrill of knowing your 'tender parts' being compassionately welcomed when you lay them at the feet of your friends where they're taken up for safe-keeping like the chicks and eggs of Emperor Penguins. 

I see you--and I'm here to be seen.

We will always struggle with feeling exposed when we show our work or ourselves--both for revealing our 'nakedness' and also for 'fearing we aren't good enough. But how thrilling to discover acceptance from both ourselves and others when we put ourselves out there with all our blemishes and imperfections.

The present was an egg laid by the past that had the future inside its shell. Zora Neale Hurston

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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moey said...

Beautiful! Thank you Susan! We need to give each other permission to show up... and show some real interest in each other's "shameful" parts! THat's what you offer to us all over and over... permission to crack that egg, spill out the golden yoke of life!

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Ouuuuu...I see another rich image to paint: the golden yoke of life. Thank you Moey!

Susie Allen said...

Very nice, meaningful and timely! Thank you for reminding me that our wounds dont have to be hidden. At my little cabin, we have birds whose song sounds like its singing "i see you!" Wow! Sympatico! I look forward to more newsletters, Susan.

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Thanks, Susie! I love that you have birds whose sone sounds like its singing 'I see you!' Thank you for showing yourself and leaving such a great comment. I see you!