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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

What Would Make this the Best Day Ever?--Learning the Right Questions to Ask



What Would Make this the Best Day Ever?
 
In Search of the Most Satisfying Life Ever

Einstein said, 'asking the right question is half the solution'. Perhaps that's why I spend so much time in the inquisitive side of life:  I'm trying to figure out how to make this and every other day my best day ever so I achieve an overall satisfying life.

Despite Hard Times Life Can Still Be Satisfying
 
Life isn't always easy--and sometimes it's downright painful. In the course of living we deal with rejection, fear, betrayal, shame, disappointment, loss and failure. 

So how do we figure out how to have the best day ever, much less the most satisfying life ever in the midst of difficulties? We figure out how to turn difficult experiences into deep, rich experiences by changing how we think about them.

If you ask them, people who rate their lives as overall very satisfying will tell you they too experience their fair share of less-than-stellar times. I am one.

I can honestly say I've had a very satisfying life--despite dealing with extremely painful and unsettling times. It comes down to knowing you are equipped to handle whatever life throws at you, and you are steering your life in a good direction while navigating through the muck and murky waters of daily life.

Your satisfaction with life is determined by a combination of your past and future, i.e. how you feel  or perceive your life has turned out so far, and how you see it going in the future. Your perceptions and attitudes have a lot to do with your experiences in life--helping to determine how satisfied you are as well as what choices you think you have for improving your situation.

Over time, the 'ups and downs' of how satisfied you feel will be influenced by what's happening at the moment, while how you rate your overall life satisfaction is determined by the least satisfying, or most painful part.



'Each moment of my life is new, fresh and vital'


Knowing the Right Questions to Ask Yourself is Half the Solution to Creating a Satisfying Life

While you don't always choose the situations you're in, you always choose your attitude and responses. You can greatly increase the probability you'll have the best day or life ever by learning the right questions to ask yourself to guide your daily thoughts and actions.

The trick is to ask yourself questions in such a way you can be honest in answering--without skipping over the truth. Picturing yourself five years down the road with positive and negative outcomes, for instance, can help you see if the path you're currently on in love, career or life will lead to the most satisfying outcomes.

"You already know the answer to these questions before you ask them. It's a matter of asking the questions in a way that will allow you to accept the truth consciously and act on what you know."


Life's Most Important Questions

Pick out one or more of the areas of your life to assess using the questions below. Take time to write down the answers to these questions and let the answers sit with you without doing anything. When you're ready, take one step you know will help you make today your best day ever.


What would you say about your life?

  • How satisfied are you with your life right now?
  • How would you rate your life satisfaction over all?
  • What's your least comfortable or satisfying part of life at the moment--love, friendship/family, work/career, or how you feel about yourself?



Love
  • When have you been the most satisfied in a relationship?
  • When have you been the least satisfied in a relationship?

If you're currently in, or contemplating getting into a relationship, imagine yourself five years down the road:
  • If you're still in the relationship what made you stay?
  • If you moved on from the relationship what made you leave?
  • What could your previous partner have done differently to keep you in a relationship?
  • Do you want it to work out?



Work
  • When have you been the most satisfied in your career?
  • When have you been the least satisfied in your career?
If you're working with a company, or contemplating working with a company, imagine:
  • Its five years since you started working with this company--and you're still here. What have they done right to keep you?
  • Its five years since you started working with this company--and you left. What occurred to make you seek other work?
  • What could your previous employer have done differently to keep you?

Life
  • When have you been the most satisfied in your life?
  • When have you been the least satisfied in your life?

  • Looking five years down the road and you are content with your life. What have you done right to make you satisfied?
  • Looking five years down the road and you are unhappy with your life. What choices have you made that lead you to be discontented?

"Knowing what you know now, what choices can you make today that will leave you feeling more satisfied with your love, work and life in the future?"



"Life's two most important questions are 'Why?' and 'Why not?'--the trick is knowing which one to ask." Gordon Livingston MD


Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts

Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are always available.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Carl Jung: Who Looks Outside, Dreams; Who Looks Inside, Awakens



Don't Be Afraid to Live Life to the Fullest

Where are you at this moment in life? Would you like to dream and achieve, or awaken and come alive?

Perhaps life has dealt you a blow and you feel beaten down or lulled to sleep to avoid the pain of reality--and you are neither interested in dreaming or awakening--you're just surviving.

Or perhaps you are in a moment in time when you're anticipating future negative events--layoff, retirement, divorce, illness, failure, or being left behind--and the fear and anxiety clouds out any thoughts of dreaming and looking forward with optimism.

Sure, sometimes life is harsh making you retreat and give up. We've all been there.

But don't be afraid to refresh your desire to dream or wake from your deep sleep. By redirecting your attention from your past or future onto today you can focus on the desires of your heart. Keep asking yourself what would make you feel fully alive today to let your mind focus on it.  

As Paulo Coelho said, "When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."


Don't be afraid to stick your neck out to create the life you desire. Life is a series of trials and challenges for all of us. No matter how many times you fall down, the correct response is to get back up. Be willing to look foolish in search of your dreams. Sometimes you must risk feeling foolish to come fully alive.

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen." Paulo Coelho



 


It's never too late to reclaim your dreams and rekindle your spirit. Take time to create a clear vision for the life you want to live now. Look within to discover what makes you come alive. Step back into the world to put your dreams into action. It is never too early or too late to create a good and joyous life.
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens."   Carl Jung

 
Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts for your Valentine

Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are always available.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.






Monday, February 11, 2013

I Am Good, I Do Good, I Feel Good--The 'Me Too' Test



Do You Feel Good about How You Deal with Others?

I don't know about you, but I like to think of myself as a person who strives to 'do good and feel good' about the way I work with others. Yet I fall short of doing the best by others on a daily basis. And I know the truth.

You are the only one who sees what really goes on behind your eyes. And you are the only one who can truly know what's in your heart. You can present a good face to others--and also present a good face to yourself. But a good face is not the same as a good heart. And it is so easy to lie to yourself by skipping over the truth.

Does Your 'Feedback' Technique pass the ME TOO Test?

Here is one simple way to test the truth of how 'good' your interactions and intentions are with others.

Think about your interactions with others in the last week.
  • How did you talk to (or about) people who messed up or did something wrong?
  • Did you begin by pointing out what needs improvement or what they did wrong?
  • Were you disapproving and judgmental (in your head or in your words)?
Now compare how you dealt with others (either in your head or in your words) with how you want to be treated.
  • How do you want to be dealt with if you do something wrong?
  • Would you feel defensive if others talked with you about your deficiencies the way you talk with (or about) them about theirs?
Does your feedback approach pass the me too test? Can you honestly say if the conversation was reversed and you were the recipient of the 'feedback' you just gave you would feel good about the interaction and go away feeling you had food for thought?

I have to admit as 'good' as I think I am, I regularly fail to pass the 'me too' test--especially in the conversations that take place in my head. 'So what?' you say.

If you want to feel good and at peace with yourself you need to find a way to make peace with where others are too. Quit 'making them wrong' and make peace with where they are too.

At the end of the day, it is you who is left with the results of your actions and thoughts. Base your intentions on kindness and compassion--and reach out to others in a way you want to be treated.

Good Enough for the Dog is Good Enough for Me

After reading 'The Help', I began to end my daily walks with my dog, Arrow, by telling him, "You is smart. You is kind. You is important."  As I speak these words to him his tail raises higher, his head and chest stand proud and all is well with the world. And as I speak these words to him, I also speak them to myself--allowing me to look for more ways to be kind and do right by others.

 


Another Way to Right Wrongs and Help Others Remember Who they are

"I was recently told of an African tribe that does the most beautiful thing.

When someone does something hurtful and wrong, they take the person to the center of town, and the entire tribe comes and surrounds him. For two days they’ll tell the man every good thing he has ever done.

 The tribe believes that every human being comes into the world as GOOD, each of us desiring safety, love, peace, happiness.

 But sometimes in the pursuit of those things people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help.

They band together for the sake of their fellow man to hold him up, to reconnect him with his true Nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth from which he'd temporarily been disconnected: "I AM GOOD"."
 


From Sun Gazing
http://www.sun-gazing.com




Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts for your Valentine

 Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are available.
 
Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

 For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

 

 

Monday, February 4, 2013

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick

 
'Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.' Samuel Johnson

Difficult People Make Us Feel Unsafe

You know who they are--those people who drive you crazy, stirring up trouble--and making you feel unsafe. In my family we call them '*hit Disturbers'.

These creators of chaos and drama stir up a whirlwind of trouble that sucks you in and wreaks havoc on your emotions, perhaps leaving you feeling anxious and uncertain about your relationships, or future with the company.

So how should you deal with these disturbers of your peace?  Try kindness first.

How's that, you say? How does one just put on a happy face and handle these twits with kindness when the truth is you really don't like them and what you'd really like to do is 'get' them and make their lives miserable? 

Why on earth would you choose to deal with them with kindness when a good kick in the behind would serve them well?--Because it's best for you.

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick

Before you  dismiss this as Pollyanna drivel for how to deal with these purveyors of distress, consider Teddy Roosevelt's use of 'speak softly and carry a big stick', an African proverb he picked up while traveling in West Africa in 1900.

While Governor of New York, Roosevelt fought with party bosses, particularly one that threatened to ruin him. Despite the threats, Teddy conveyed his stance in a speech with the adage 'speak softly and carry a big stick'. Roosevelt stayed steady and eventually the bosses gave in to the direction he wanted to go--and he certainly was not ruined.

The adage 'speak softly and carry a big stick' evokes an image of a person who is clearly in control of his or her emotions and actions. This is a person who is slow to anger and slow to react. And while you may start out softly in your words and deeds, you always know you can pull out the stick if you need to--and they do too.

Don't let your life be led by the *hit disturbers. Choose to be in charge of your own life and create a life based on your own values.


How to Speak Softly when You Really Want to Blast Them

  • Suspend judgment
  • Hold your tongue
  • Count to ten--no wait--make that one hundred
  • Engage in self-calming activities
  • Wait
  • Put time between when you want to blast them and when you respond to their trying behavior
  • Remember who YOU are
  • Remember what you want to build in your life

 
'You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.' Publilius Syrus
 
Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts for your Valentine
 
Visit the Ashland Art Center Main Gallery in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are available.
 
Sign Up for Free E-mail updates
 
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.
 
If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.