"It's not your role to make others happy;
it is your role to keep yourself in balance.
When you pay attention to how you feel
and practice self-empowering thoughts
that align with who-you-really-are,
you will offer an example of thriving that
will be of tremendous value to those
who have the benefit of observing you.
You only ever uplift from your position
of strength and clarity and alignment."
The Great Motivators Spurring Us to Act
Winston Churchill once said, "If you wait long enough....something will happen." And so it is with our lives. The question is how long are you willing to wait?
You shouldn't fret about being bored or lonely. As uncomfortable as these emotional states are--they're great motivators spurring us on to do something different in our lives. When a situation becomes uncomfortable enough you'll use it to energize yourself to take steps to improve your situation.
Our Tolerance for Discomfort Determines How Quickly We'll Move On
No one escapes experiencing boredom, loneliness, frustration or disappointment.
We're all forced to move through rough emotional times on our way to finding or keeping that partner worthy of a lifetime, or that life path we feel called to pursue, or simply while regaining our balance after making life transitions.
How much discomfort you can put up with will determine how quickly you move past it.
Some people have a higher tolerance for sitting in the discomfort of waiting to get out of these life lulls--but that isn't me. I want to get on with creating a better, more enjoyable and productive life. So it was good I discovered a way to ask myself questions that would push me to engage in activities to improve my situation early on.
I wish to live a life that causes my soul to dance
Spurring Yourself On
In my twenties, my major lessons included learning how to enjoy being alone while staying open to finding a mate, and learning how to get involved in activities I enjoyed. After seven years of disciplined academic life I'd learned to postpone pleasure for studies.
Later in life, my on-going lessons became learning how to enjoy being alone despite having a mate and children, and how to reacquaint myself with what I enjoy doing after experiencing major life transitions or working too much.
I was fortunate to run across a life planning exercise after graduating from college that put me on a healthy path that still helps me enjoy my life today. This simple exercise helps me regain balance and direction whenever my life gets out of whack. It's all about asking the right questions.
This exercise sets the proper context for asking questions to focus your attention on what matters to you. If you're courageous enough to answer the questions, you're on your way to a more productive and engaging life.
The Exercise Everyone Loves to Hate
This exercise takes very little time to do. You just have to start it...then follow through one step at a time.
The hardest thing about starting this exercise is many people find it uncomfortable to think about what they want. I've had people describe this and other such exercises as the most important exercise they ever did--and loved to hate.
💓 If you're tired of being bored, lonely or disappointed with life,
do the exercise.
💓 If you want to figure out what you want in life and want to enjoy your life,
do the exercise.
The key is to limit the amount of time you give yourself
to answer to two minutes for each segment.
Limiting the time you allow yourself will limit your discomfort.
Imagine you have 6 months to live. All activities around your death have been taken care of. What things would you want to accomplish or do? How would you enjoy spending your last days?
💙Take two minutes to list everything you'd like to do without judging what's on the list.
💚Next take another two minutes to look over your list and refine, add to, eliminate.
💛Last look at your list and ask yourself how many of the things on your list are you currently doing.
💜Pick one thing on your list to do then commit to one step. Pursue it until you've had enough then pick another one and go after that.
When I did this exercise for the first time in my twenties I looked at my list and discovered I wasn't participating in any activities I wanted to pursue. Nada.
Having just finished seven years at the university, I had learned to postpone 'fun' activities that were not academically related.
It was startling--and motivating. I started on a year of fun and adventure after that....getting involved in a choir, traveling, taking guitar lessons, doing art, writing a book, playing with friends--you name it--I went after it.
If this sounds like you, get going! Sure, you can wait until 'something happens' but why wait when you can begin to step into your life one step at a time.
Use your boredom, loneliness, frustration and disappointments to propel you forward!
Plan one adventure for yourself--giving you something to look forward to--then see how that feels. If you like it you can do it again. If you don't like it, do something else.
For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.