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Monday, August 21, 2017

How to Stop Waiting for Life to Happen


"It's not your role to make others happy;
it is your role to keep yourself in balance.

When you pay attention to how you feel
and practice self-empowering thoughts
that align with who-you-really-are,
you will offer an example of thriving that
will be of tremendous value to those
who have the benefit of observing you. 

You only ever uplift from your position
of strength and clarity and alignment."  

Abraham

The Great Motivators Spurring Us to Act 

Winston Churchill once said, "If you wait long enough....something will happen." And so it is with our lives. The question is how long are you willing to wait?

You shouldn't fret about being bored or lonely. As uncomfortable as these emotional states are--they're great motivators spurring us on to do something different in our lives. When a situation becomes uncomfortable enough you'll use it to energize yourself to take steps to improve your situation.  



Our Tolerance for Discomfort Determines How Quickly We'll Move On

No one escapes experiencing boredom, loneliness, frustration or disappointment.

We're all forced to move through rough emotional times on our way to finding or keeping that partner worthy of a lifetime, or that life path we feel called to pursue, or simply while regaining our balance after making life transitions.  

How much discomfort you can put up with will determine how quickly you move past it. 

Some people have a higher tolerance for sitting in the discomfort of waiting to get out of these life lulls--but that isn't me. I want to get on with creating a better, more enjoyable and productive life. So it was good I discovered a way to ask myself questions that would push me to engage in activities to improve my situation early on.

 I wish to live a life that causes my soul to dance 

Spurring Yourself On

In my twenties, my major lessons included learning how to enjoy being alone while staying open to finding a mate, and learning how to get involved in activities I enjoyed. After seven years of disciplined academic life I'd learned to postpone pleasure for studies. 

Later in life, my on-going lessons became learning how to enjoy being alone despite having a mate and children, and how to reacquaint myself with what I enjoy doing after experiencing major life transitions or working too much.

I was fortunate to run across a life planning exercise after graduating from college that put me on a healthy path that still helps me enjoy my life today. This simple exercise helps me regain balance and direction whenever my life gets out of whack.  It's all about asking the right questions.

This exercise sets the proper context for asking questions to focus your attention on what matters to you.  If you're courageous enough to answer the questions,  you're on your way to a more productive and engaging life.



The Exercise Everyone Loves to Hate

This exercise takes very little time to do. You just have to start it...then follow through one step at a time.

The hardest thing about starting this exercise is many people find it uncomfortable to think about what they want. I've had people describe this and other such exercises as the most important exercise they ever did--and loved to hate.

πŸ’“ If you're tired of being bored, lonely or disappointed with life, 
do the exercise.

πŸ’“ If you want to figure out what you want in life and  want to enjoy your life, 
do the exercise. 

The key is to limit the amount of time you give yourself
to answer to two minutes for each segment.

Limiting the time you allow yourself will limit your discomfort.


THE EXERCISE

 Imagine you have 6 months to live. All activities around your death have been taken care of. What things would you want to accomplish or do? How would you enjoy spending your last days?


πŸ’™Take two minutes to list everything you'd like to do without judging what's on the list.

πŸ’šNext take another two minutes to look over your list and refine, add to, eliminate.

πŸ’›Last look at your list and ask yourself how many of the things on your list are you currently doing.

πŸ’œPick one thing on your list to do then commit to one step. Pursue it until you've had enough then pick another one and go after that. 


Use Your Boredom, Loneliness, Frustration and Disappointment to Propel You Forward!

When I did this exercise for the first time in my twenties I looked at my list and discovered I wasn't participating in any activities I wanted to pursue. Nada. 

Having just finished seven years at the university, I had learned to postpone 'fun' activities that were not academically related. 

It was startling--and motivating. I started on a year of fun and adventure after that....getting involved in a choir, traveling, taking guitar lessons, doing art, writing a book, playing with friends--you name it--I went after it.


If this sounds like you, get going! Sure, you can wait until 'something happens' but why wait when you can begin to step into your life one step at a time.

Use your boredom, loneliness, frustration and disappointments to propel you forward!  

Plan one adventure for yourself--giving you something to look forward to--then see how that feels. If you like it you can do it again. If you don't like it, do something else. 


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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Friday, August 18, 2017

Starting Over When You Don't Have a Clue What You're Doing


Getting Started is a Drag

Where have you been dragging your feet starting over because you don't have a clue what you're doing or you don't even know where to begin?
What would you jump into with both feet if you knew what you were doing?

Perhaps you need to apply for a new job, ask for a raise, start a new project at work, or break into a new market. Maybe you want to improve your social life, start playing more, or learn a new skill. Or maybe you're dealing with a mundane problem with your car, house, or health that needs attention.

No matter what it is, whether you've never done it before--or it's been a while since you've done it and you feel a bit rusty--it can be overwhelming knowing where to start.

Accept Your Incompetence to Get Started

Each time I begin a new venture or deal with a new situation I'm acutely aware I don't have a clue what I'm doing--and I feel totally incompetent in that moment. 

There's always that momentary fear I won't be able figure things out and I'll be stuck--helpless--in the current situation.

No matter how much I've done in my life, and no matter how competent I am to handle life, I'm always a beginner starting anew. 

The truth is we're all incompetent before we're competent when confronting new undertakings--even the great explorers. 
It takes courage and curiosity to be a life-long learner--especially after you've acquired a level of competence in your life. You must be willing to admit you don't have a clue what you're doing when you start down an unknown path.
Life~A Never-ending Series of Problems to Solve

If we think of life as a never-ending series of problems to explore, we can begin to step over the action-stopping fear of new beginnings by training ourselves to re-focus on self affirming thoughts to free us when we're prone to freeze. 

πŸ’“ 'I have what it takes to handle whatever life throws at me.' 
πŸ’“ 'I have all the ingredients within me to be successful'. 

Whether you're dealing with the ordinary or the utmost life-changing situation, the greatest challenge is always knowing where to start and how to overcome the inertia to taking that first step. Solve that and you're on your way.

First Things First: Create a Vision

Out of Nothing comes Something


In Moments of Unease take on the Cloak of Life Explorer
Chose to see yourself as an inquisitive, life-long explorer who is willing to fearlessly step into uncharted territory to discover the adventure of a lifetime--over and over again.
Begin by building a vision of what you want to create this time around.
Every great explorer started somewhere to create something out of nothing. 
Firm Up Your Vision 

Next firm up your vision--and add a splash of color to it to create a bit of excitement. Don't be afraid to dream big.


Embark on Your Next Great Adventure

Sail away. Step into the murky water at high tide with a belief in your ability to fully explore the world for your next great life adventure despite the fear and momentary feeling of incompetence.

You're in good company if your current situation forcing you to start over leaves you lacking confidence and feeling uneasy about your future. It is a natural initial response to outside factors forcing change.

No one feels good about losing a job or marriage and having to step back out there to figure out life again. We all lose our steam when we face obstacles that momentarily stop us from forward progress. 

What makes us feel good is when we face life head on to overcome the obstacles in our path knowing we have the strength and courage to deal with life successfully. Every time we step into the unknown, despite the fear, we build our confidence.

When starting over, take a step--any step, and then take another. Start small and keep going. 

As the African proverb says, If you can talk you can sing; if you can walk, you can dance. Start simply.  If you want to sing and dance through life, start talking and walking. 


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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.


Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Let Compassion Pull You out of Self-Absorption~Sakyong Mipham



Lift Yourself Up

'Radiating from basic goodness like the sun, 
compassion lifts us above self-involvement 
and brings us out of the Dark Age.' 
  
Sakyong Mipham


~Like the Sun~
Your compassion radiates 
from basic goodness inside you
to shine on the world and others around you.

To be happy and content, look outward with compassion.


'If you want to be miserable, think of yourself.  
If you want to be happy, think of others.'

Sakyong Mipham


To Feel Over the Moon,
Be Like the Sun

If your compassion radiates
from your basic goodness deep inside...

~Choose to be like the sun~

Let your compassion for others 
pull you out of obsessive self-involvement
and into compassionate, caring 
relationships with others instead.

Too much self-absorption leads to
brooding and anxiety.


'When stress is the basic state of mind, 
even good things stress us out. 
We have to learn to let go.'

Sakyong Mipham


Compassion and Karma 

'Karma moves in two directions. 
If we act virtuously, the seed we plant will result in happiness. 
If we act non-virtuously, suffering results.

...This jewel is the wisdom and compassion 
that it takes to act not on behalf of ourselves but for all beings. 
This is where real confidence and competence come from. 
Once we possess this jewel, our life becomes blessed.'

Sakyong Mipham



πŸ’“Where in your life have you been self-obsessing?

πŸ’™How can you reach outside of yourself with compassion for another?

πŸ’šWhat happens when you take the focus off you and put it compassionately on others?


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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 



Wednesday, August 9, 2017

A Woman's Place is in her Garden


To
Plant
A
Garden
Is
To
Believe
In
Tomorrow


Aubrey Hepburn




Leave 
Room

in
Your 
Garden
for 
The
Angels 
t
Dance…

Unknown




She breathes in
dirt and exhales
flowers…


Unknown


PLAY
IN THE DIRT
Because life is too short
To always have
Clean fingernails.


The Prairie Homestead




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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Sunday, August 6, 2017

What are You Waiting for? Bloom Where You're Planted



'Why always 'not yet'? 
Do flowers in spring say 'not yet'?'

Norman Douglas



Nature is a work in progress

Nature is unapologetic with its unfinished products emerging from the ground. A seed in dirt followed by a stick or blade of grass erupting doesn't look like much. Yet at first sight of emerging life why is it we wait with enthusiastic anticipation and imagine the full bloom or abundant harvest to follow?

We accept the eventual fading and dying of plants and flowers, with their necessary return to darkness underground. We understand this is just part of the natural cycle nature travels on its quest for never-ending beginnings and renewed life.

Why then should we feel exposed when we show our own work or selves 'before we're perfected'? Why do we view our unfinished products or selves as blemished? Why do we tell ourselves, 'Not Yet' or mourn the dark gestation periods of our creations?

Nature is a beautiful work in progress and so are you.

Bloom Where You're Planted

Today is the day and now is the hour for you to flourish. Accept that as part of nature you have been commissioned to bloom where you're planted, you're perfect at every stage of life~and you're destined to succeed over and over again. 
All you're required to do is show up.....and bloom where you're planted.

'I held a moment in my hand, 
brilliant as a star, 
fragile as a flower, 
a tiny sliver of one hour. 
I dripped it carelessly, 
Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.'
Hazel Lee

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Letting Go and Moving On~The Art of Taking Charge of Life



The mind is everything. What you think you become.

The Buddha

What Prevents You From Fulfilling Your Potential and Dreams?

We all want to get the most out of life. Even the most disgruntled and disengaged person wants to feel useful and satisfied.

But what prevents you from fulfilling your greatest potential? A bad boss or uncooperative co-workers? An unsupportive partner or raising troubled teens? Too much responsibility and not enough control? Getting laid off or failure to get a raise? 

While these, and other factors can serve as obstacles, they are not what holds us back. Our beliefs do.



It's Best Not to Believe Everything You Think

Years ago I read a fascinating story about a man freezing to death in a refrigerator. Colin Rose in his book, "Accelerated Learning", shared the tale he discovered in a newspaper article with the headline, "Man Freezes to Death in Refrigerator." While the headline wasn't unusual, the circumstances were.

According to Rose, when rescuers found  a man locked in the refrigerator car of a train, although he had all the physical signs of freezing to death, the freezer had never been turned on, and the weather was warm. Freezing temperatures didn't kill him. His beliefs did.

Picture the man when he first climbed on board. As he stepped into the refrigerator car, he thought he found a safe place to rest. As the train started moving he took a closer look, realized it was a freezer unit and wanted to get out. But when he tried the door it was locked. Panic set in.

This is not unlike how you might get locked in and die on the job. When you first come on board, you have great hopes. But as the job picks up speed, you take a closer look and discover you feel boxed in -- the workplace is so cold. You think about getting off the fast track, but discover you've been locked in by family responsibilities, a depressed economy, or no time to look for a new job. 

Your beliefs can tie your hands with invisible threads, preventing you from taking action in a bad situation.They can make it difficult for you to see you have options. Your beliefs that box you in can kill your motivation, and prevent you from getting on with, and enjoying your life.


Beliefs Can Be Keys to Your Success 

But your beliefs can also be the keys unlocking the doors to your success and satisfaction.

If you're dissatisfied in your job, relationship or life, you can do something about it ~ but only if you believe you can.  

If you've lived your life believing 'things happen by accident', or 'control is out of my hands'--it may be a difficult leap in belief. But you can do it.



Your Ability to Actively Choose Your Way Changes with Practice

According to Erich Fromm, author of the timeless classic,"The Art of Loving", our ability to actively choose our way in life changes with our practice of life.
'The longer we continue to make the wrong decisions,' Fromm said, 'the more our heart hardens. The more often we make the right decision, the more our heart softens --or perhaps comes alive.'

Practice making the right decisions -- the ones that increase your self-confidence, and foster a belief you're in charge of your own life. 

Change when you're ready. If you want to hate your job or relationship, or blame your current situation on others, go ahead. Hold on to those beliefs until you're ready to let them go. 

When you're ready to have a satisfying job or life, take steps to change your belief about who's in charge.


Stop Blaming Others. Your boss may be rotten, making your job difficult; and you may have family responsibilities and bills to pay, making it more difficult to quit. But when you blame others for your unsatisfying job, life or situation, you're saying you don't have control or choices. Don't limit yourself. Don't box yourself in.


Take responsibility. When things happen, practice acknowledging, 'I am responsible for what happens to me now.' There are bad bosses and bad parents. People do take advantage of others. They can devastate and lower your self-esteem. But ask yourself what you can do to gain back your sense of worth.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.'

πŸ’“ If you're held back by things that happened long ago, get counseling. 
πŸ’™ If you're being held back by things happening now, get coaching. 


Care enough about yourself to face the difficult issues directly. When you're ready, let go of a bad situation, and get on with living. Put yourself in charge so you're free to fully pursue a fulfilling and satisfying life.




You are not responsible for the way other people treat you. But as an adult, you are responsible for the way you treat yourself. Look for ways to break free when you feel locked in by your beliefs.


Questions to Ask 

πŸ’“ Where in my life can I practice making the right decisions?
πŸ’™ Where have I given others control over how I feel about myself?
πŸ’š What steps can I take today to open options for myself that make me feel good about myself and my direction in life?



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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.


Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.