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Thursday, July 21, 2016

Embrace Your Share of Happiness: Recapture the Idle Days of Summer


Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it.   William Feather

Remember those Care-free Days of Childhood?

Amid the haste of daily life, do you long for a return to days gone past? Why not take the time NOW to renew your spirit, recapture the idle days of summer, and find time to re-live the care-free days of childhood.

Chose Peace and Contentment

You are where you are today because of the choices you made in the past. Where you end up tomorrow will be the result of the choices you make for yourself today. Choose to relax into the present moment and find your sense of peace and contentment.


Rekindle Your Innocence

  • Use quiet moments to reflect on life's possibilities instead of life's limitations. 
  • Reach out to others in support and friendship instead of focusing on things that are disappointing. 
  • Wake up each morning with a full heart and a deep love for ALL.




Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
Nursery Rhyme 


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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Will Life Crush Your Spirit or Make You Stronger?




Will Life Crush Your Spirit or Make You Stronger?

What awful soul-crushing experiences have you had in your life? Have you allowed them to become defining moments for lessons learned that propelled you forward or have you allowed them to defeat you?  

When you examine your life, what defining positive or negative moments or periods in your life have shaped your future and attitude?

How are you feeling about your life and possibilities today? 

No one gets through life unscathed. We all experience our own unpleasantness in life that challenges our belief in life and ourselves.

These crucial challenges become defining moments for us--ones that put us face-to-face with ourselves--forcing us to choose how we're going to handle life going forward.

Are we going to allow life to crush our spirit or make us stronger? Will we choose to become bitter and hardened or wise and strengthened by our experiences?


1984 Lessons Learned Revisited

Thirty two years ago I returned to Los Angeles for the first time a year after dealing with an unfair and unwarranted political battle in the workplace in which I took center stage. This trip back to the center of unpleasantness was a defining moment for me that still shapes my life today.

Recently I came across the 16 lessons learned below, deep in my work archives. I wrote them upon returning from 'the scene of the crime'. When I walked back into the thick of things--and interacted directly with people involved in the political battle--it had a healing effect on me that resulted in the removal of the mental hold the experience had on me that was still lingering.

Putting pen to paper I identified the crucial lessons I learned from an experience that had once had the potential to crush my soul--and then let it go.

Although I haven't read these lessons learned in 32 years, I can clearly see the impact of my consciously articulating the lessons on my life today.

I made a conscious choice at that time to sidestep the negative remains of the battle and chose to be propelled forward in life--strengthened, not hardened or weakened, and choosing compassion over bitterness.  

This was one of many defining life moments that led me to be strengthen by my life rather than defeated by it. And this is still my 'Meyerott Manifesto' in play today.

Don't let life defeat or crush you. Accept we all deal with potentially soul-crushing blows that we must decide how to deal with. Know you have the strength to handle what life throws your way.  


 16 Lessons Learned at 32 still Apply at 64

Time heals all. Keep your motives pure, be yourself and trust the important people will have faith in you--even after a political battle.

Be Kind. You do not need to be mean to the people who wrong you. It is a way of life for them. They will be their own undoing.

Reach out, reach out, reach out! It is by your small daily reaching out--by being consistent with people--that they will trust you and support you.

Care deeply and honestly about others.  Rejoice in their achievements and victories; cry in their pain; share life.

Trust yourself and know yourself. Plod toward your goals. Be patient.

Be choosy about people. Commit to building a warm, supportive and joyful environment based in friendship whether at work or play. Find other honest, committed caring people to relate with.

Cut your losses. Some people will never like you, trust you or be kind to you. It is within them, not you.

Empty yourself of territorial issues, control, and the need for power. Focus on how you may help others. Be unassuming.

Believe in other people. Build them up. Focus on how you can work well together.

Be involved in people's lives. Help others make better choices by asking the right questions and by really caring. 

Believe in the power of positive behavior. When people have difficulty with you, ignore their incorrect perception of you and talk to the part of them that likes you. Work through other people. Believe in the power of positive feedback, positive gossip, and consistent positive behavior.

Be true to yourself and others.

Most people want to like others. They are embarrassed when they're put in a battle between two people. If they must perform actions, such as work, that forces them closer to the other person, they will begin to change their attitude toward you unless you force them to deal with you consciously and make them consciously accountable. Let them know you see their behavior. 

Relationships based in friendship.  True friends will go beyond gossip and backbiting to discover the truth. True friends will stand up for you when they know you have integrity. True friends will have the courage to stand by you as you would for them.

Forgive your adversaries. As hard as it is, focus on forgiving your enemies. Pray for them; wish them well; do not gloat in their misfortune.

Choose to be wise rather than small and petty. Model the type of behavior you would like to see in others.

Be authentic and honest. Relate to people honestly and ask them to deal with you honestly.




Choose to allow life to make you stronger. Choose to become wise and strengthened by your experiences.

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Stop Striving for Perfection: Why Good Enough is Better


 'Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your true purpose and strive for perfection instead.' Lightarted Sue

Perfection is in the Eye of the Beholder--but who's looking anyway?

Why do we choose to waste time striving for perfection? What is it that drives us to obsess over creating the illusion we have everything perfectly handled all the time without a hair out of place and no sweat on our brow--when we know it feels anything but perfect and satisfying in the end? 

Do we think people will think better of us if we look, think, or act perfectly? Do we think people will feel more comfortable in our home or office without a thing out of place--so we run ourselves ragged attending to every last detail before anticipating a military-like inspection by our invited guests?  

Admit it: Your struggle for perfection is annoying for you and everyone around you. Your obsession to perfect every last detail leads you to spend 90% of your time attempting to perfect the last 10% while driving everyone around you nuts. 

The final result? Perfectly pissed off co-workers, friends and family who are too afraid to step into your environment and mess anything up. And in the end you're never happy with the final results no matter how hard you work at it--leaving you frazzled and fixated on the cobweb you missed the minute someone enters your space.

A desire to be perfect arises from a self-conscious focus. To lighten your load, and to improve your relationships, switch your focus to outside yourself--by keeping your attention on the comfort of your guests, audience, and co-workers instead of yourself.




Stop It! Good Enough is Better

Why not give up your struggle for perfection for something more satisfying and productive? 

At the core of our drive to perfection is a desire to be accepted and loved. Yet our perfectionist tendencies push people away while our imperfections make us more accessible to others. 

Striving for 'good enough' can help you decrease your self-focus, intensity and anxiety leaving you more energy to focus your attention on making others comfortable. When you take the focus off your own perfect performance and place it on others comfort you'll discover you can relax and enjoy relating to others even if the light is shining on a few cobwebs. 


'Others see our work for what it is; we see our work for what it isn't.'

Imperfections Improve Your Like-ability Factor

When you replace perfectionism with a 'good enough' frame of mind it allows you to embrace your imperfections as the valuable assets that they are. It is your imperfections that increase your value to others, raising your like-ability factor as the very essence of your humanness shines through. 
'I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.' I love to laugh on Facebook.



An Oriental rug's Value is in its Imperfections--And so is yours

Ask any oriental rug dealer and you'll discover--a rug's value is found in its imperfections. Machine made rugs are perfect; but handmade rugs have imperfections. Oriental rug collectors look for those imperfections to prove the value of the rug.

Why not begin to think of yourself as a 'rug in progress'? You're not a cookie-cutter human who is stamped out to look and be perfect. Learn to value your imperfections, keep your focus on the comfort of others and strive for good enough.

Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day.  Zen Proverb

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.


Friday, July 1, 2016

Pushing Past the Dark Days of Your Life


"What is the hardest thing you can possibly do?" she said
when I went to her for advice on the darkest day of the first half of my life."

"Why must I do what is hardest?"

"Because you are an instrument of God.
Don't leave the instrument sitting in its case. Play!
Leave no part of your instrument unexplored.
Why settle for 'Three Blind Mice' when you can play the 'Gloria'?"

Abraham Verghese, Cutting For Stone





Dealing with the Dark Days of our Lives

We all have our dark days when faced with loss, adversity or defeat when we question if anything we've ever done--or will do--is worthwhile. Perhaps you're having one of those times now.

Maybe when you look around, you see others looking healthy and happy--seemingly flying past obstacles and meeting with success--while you alone sit in solitude and pain. You want to take a step but you're not sure how to pull out of the darkness that has invaded your life.

As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote in the 1800s:
"To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult."
 
To pull out of the dark days of your life, as Verghese says you must do what is hardest, and as Goethe says, the hardest is to take action--in ways you believe are right for you. 
  • What do you believe you are destined to do?
  • What do you think is the right thing for you to do at this moment?
  • Where do your interests take you?
  • What do you wish someone would ask you to do?
  • What is your 'Three Blind Mice' way to play life? What is your 'Gloria'?




 "Everybody wants to be somebody but nobody wants to grow." Goethe

Is it Time to Ask for Help?

When the dark days hit it IS difficult to take action. That is the time to reach out to others who can help you find your dreams, and nudge you to act on them. We all need help at times re-discovering our dreams and gaining the courage to act on them.

Who are the one to two people in your life you can call on? Contact one of them and ask for a chat today.

Don't just sit in darkness--reach out to one person--and let that be the action that gets you off your 'three blind mice' track onto the path to playing your Gloria. 


"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


P. S. If you have never read Abraham Verghese's 'Cutting For Stone' I highly recommend it. It is a rich and unique story that will keep you riveted .



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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.