Lightarted Living: Blaming Others Can Be Entertaining Sport and Despi...

Lightarted Living: Blaming Others Can Be Entertaining Sport and Despi...:  

Blaming Others Can Be Entertaining Sport and Despicable People Make Good Targets

 

'Stop blaming everyone for your problems.

Just pick one person who you don't care for

very much and heap it on them.' 

Someeecards

Who Do You Blame? 

Who's on your mind today--that person(s) getting in your way at work--the one who's stopping you from succeeding or just generally messing up your plans for work or life? What have they done now? 

Come clean--we all have them--our favorite people to heap the blame on. Some of them we like and some we don't. But no matter who they are they serve as the perfect targets to blame.

Despicable People Make Good Targets

Blaming others can be an entertaining sport--especially if your target is a particularly despicable person. 

For the moment, we feel strong and powerful as we unload our anger and displeasure upon a dreadful co-worker or boss who makes our lives difficult. What a rush! What a feeling! What a great story it makes! But now what?

After the Rush is Over, Reclaim Your Power

Unfortunately that rush of anger and blame unleashed towards another gives us a false feeling of strength and bravado that actually signals we're feeling out of control. 

And after the vitriolic heaping of blame is over making you feel powerful, you're still left with an impediment to moving forward: you've handed your power over to another person.

If your goal is to move forward and accomplish something rather than to just lay blame--enjoy your bit of sport at another person's expense as long as it entertains you--but reclaim your power to take charge of your own path as soon as you're ready. 

What Are Your Complaints?

Since I know you're still dying to itemize the laundry list of complaints you have against that person you blame for making your life miserable right now, do it. 

Believe it or not, this is step I on your path to reclaiming your power.


📃Identifying the Complaints--Part I

Get a piece of paper and list your complaints about how this person is getting in your way and preventing you from succeeding.

Write complete sentences that begin with he/she/they.....and fill in the blanks.

📌He/She/They won't let me:
📌He/She/They prevent me from:
📌I can't communicate with him/her/them because he/she/they:

As you write out what you're blaming that person for, don't worry if the statement is true or not. Just write it down, then put it away to come back to for part two.

Taking Back Your Power: Own It

'If we always think the other guy is the reason for our lack of success, then it’s time to start planning ways to lift ourselves up, rather than planning ways to take him down.'

Charles Glassman




The ultimate goal is for you to be a self-motivated person who takes charge of your own life. As long as you blame someone else for things not going your way you limit your ability to take charge of your own life.

It's helpful to identify your complaints about how other people are holding you back so you can clearly see what the issues are you need to deal with. But don't stop there. To take your power back, you need to follow up your complaints against them by converting those statements to statements about yourself.

📃Acknowledging I am In Charge--Part II

Re-write your list of complaints changing the pronouns 'he' or 'she' to 'I' to take ownership of your situation. 

📌'He/She/They won't let me:' is changed to 'I won't let me:'
📌He/She/They prevents me from: is changed to 'I prevent me from:'
📌'I can't communicate with him/her/them because he/she/they:' is changed to 'I can't communicate with him/her/them because I:"

While this may feel awkward at first, the more you practice refocusing your complaints so you are in charge, the more power you give yourself to guide your own life.

Yes, blaming others can be entertaining sport. But letting go of it when you're ready so you can go after the life you want is even more satisfying. 

'I reckon that blaming people fixes nothing. You're the only person who is going to sort you out. No-one else really can--or really cares, enough.'

Jane Wilson-Howarth

Blaming Others Can Be Entertaining Sport and Despicable People Make Good Targets

 

'Stop blaming everyone for your problems.

Just pick one person who you don't care for

very much and heap it on them.' 

Someeecards

Who Do You Blame? 

Who's on your mind today--that person(s) getting in your way at work--the one who's stopping you from succeeding or just generally messing up your plans for work or life? What have they done now? 

Come clean--we all have them--our favorite people to heap the blame on. Some of them we like and some we don't. But no matter who they are they serve as the perfect targets to blame.

Despicable People Make Good Targets

Blaming others can be an entertaining sport--especially if your target is a particularly despicable person. 

For the moment, we feel strong and powerful as we unload our anger and displeasure upon a dreadful co-worker or boss who makes our lives difficult. What a rush! What a feeling! What a great story it makes! But now what?

After the Rush is Over, Reclaim Your Power

Unfortunately that rush of anger and blame unleashed towards another gives us a false feeling of strength and bravado that actually signals we're feeling out of control. 

And after the vitriolic heaping of blame is over making you feel powerful, you're still left with an impediment to moving forward: you've handed your power over to another person.

If your goal is to move forward and accomplish something rather than to just lay blame--enjoy your bit of sport at another person's expense as long as it entertains you--but reclaim your power to take charge of your own path as soon as you're ready. 

What Are Your Complaints?

Since I know you're still dying to itemize the laundry list of complaints you have against that person you blame for making your life miserable right now, do it. 

Believe it or not, this is step I on your path to reclaiming your power.


📃Identifying the Complaints--Part I

Get a piece of paper and list your complaints about how this person is getting in your way and preventing you from succeeding.

Write complete sentences that begin with he/she/they.....and fill in the blanks.

📌He/She/They won't let me:
📌He/She/They prevent me from:
📌I can't communicate with him/her/them because he/she/they:

As you write out what you're blaming that person for, don't worry if the statement is true or not. Just write it down, then put it away to come back to for part two.

Taking Back Your Power: Own It

'If we always think the other guy is the reason for our lack of success, then it’s time to start planning ways to lift ourselves up, rather than planning ways to take him down.'

Charles Glassman




The ultimate goal is for you to be a self-motivated person who takes charge of your own life. As long as you blame someone else for things not going your way you limit your ability to take charge of your own life.

It's helpful to identify your complaints about how other people are holding you back so you can clearly see what the issues are you need to deal with. But don't stop there. To take your power back, you need to follow up your complaints against them by converting those statements to statements about yourself.

📃Acknowledging I am In Charge--Part II

Re-write your list of complaints changing the pronouns 'he' or 'she' to 'I' to take ownership of your situation. 

📌'He/She/They won't let me:' is changed to 'I won't let me:'
📌He/She/They prevents me from: is changed to 'I prevent me from:'
📌'I can't communicate with him/her/them because he/she/they:' is changed to 'I can't communicate with him/her/them because I:"

While this may feel awkward at first, the more you practice refocusing your complaints so you are in charge, the more power you give yourself to guide your own life.

Yes, blaming others can be entertaining sport. But letting go of it when you're ready so you can go after the life you want is even more satisfying. 

'I reckon that blaming people fixes nothing. You're the only person who is going to sort you out. No-one else really can--or really cares, enough.'

Jane Wilson-Howarth

Lightarted Living: The Spirits of Spring Peek thru the Winter Chill

Lightarted Living: The Spirits of Spring Peek thru the Winter Chill:   

The Spirits of Spring Peek thru the Winter Chill

 

THE SPIRITS OF SPRING

The Spirits of Spring

peek thru the winter chill

with promises of

a bright year ahead.

Softly, softly 

the spring spirits emerge

to sweeten our days and

fill our hearts with hope.

Original Photo by Diane Offenbacher

The Spirits of Spring Peek thru the Winter Chill

 

THE SPIRITS OF SPRING

The Spirits of Spring

peek thru the winter chill

with promises of

a bright year ahead.

Softly, softly 

the spring spirits emerge

to sweeten our days and

fill our hearts with hope.

Original Photo by Diane Offenbacher

Lightarted Living: The Sun Spirits are "They who will not be Ignored"

Lightarted Living: The Sun Spirits are "They who will not be Ignored":   

The Sun Spirits are "They who will not be Ignored"

 

THE SUN SPIRITS

The sun spirits are "they who will not be ignored";

always sneaking out of the shadows to brighten the world.

Their sun rays, like tenacles of light,

 reach out to wipe away the early morning clouds,

and extend into the sky at sunset 

to leave us a moment of light as we head into darkness,

softly touching our hearts and lifting our spirits.

The sun spirits brighten our hearts and warm our souls,

giving us a sense of peace and exhilaration

in our moments of darkness.

No matter how dark it is, 

turn your face to the sun;

Let the spirits of the sun 

fill you with feelings of hope and optimism, 

and the resiliency and strength to face another day.

Original Photo Solar Eclipse

Posted by Josie Moreno on Facebook out of the

Physics-Astronomy Group. Credit to unknown Photographer

The Sun Spirits are "They who will not be Ignored"

 

THE SUN SPIRITS

The sun spirits are "they who will not be ignored";

always sneaking out of the shadows to brighten the world.

Their sun rays, like tenacles of light,

 reach out to wipe away the early morning clouds,

and extend into the sky at sunset 

to leave us a moment of light as we head into darkness,

softly touching our hearts and lifting our spirits.

The sun spirits brighten our hearts and warm our souls,

giving us a sense of peace and exhilaration

in our moments of darkness.

No matter how dark it is, 

turn your face to the sun;

Let the spirits of the sun 

fill you with feelings of hope and optimism, 

and the resiliency and strength to face another day.

Original Photo Solar Eclipse

Posted by Josie Moreno on Facebook out of the

Physics-Astronomy Group. Credit to unknown Photographer

Lightarted Living: Thriving in a Bumpy Life filled with Obstacles

Lightarted Living: Thriving in a Bumpy Life filled with Obstacles:   

Thriving in a Bumpy Life filled with Obstacles

 

Alone

There she was, alone, standing in the field contemplating her life, unaware she had company. But her ever-constant, fierce and spiritual spirits never left her side. Her guiding spirits knew she would not only survive, she would thrive.

The spirits began to softly whisper in her ear: "Peace be with you. You are strong and resilient. Life will come good again. You will survive. You will thrive."

Life is a Bumpy Ride filled with Obstacles

'If you're going through Hell...just keep going.' Winston Churchill

This is the thing about life--it's a bumpy ride filled with obstacles. With life being what it is, sometimes our dreams collide with a reality that's a bit different than we imagined it. But as Winston Churchill said, 'If you're going through Hell...just keep going.' We hone our problem-solving and communication skills each time we navigate difficulties. 

So what's a girl to do when she runs into difficulties?  Keep going. Take the next step. Buck up. Get back in there and figure out your options for moving forward.

'Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.' Henry Ford 

When you meet a moment of difficulty and self doubt, learn to interpret it as your cue to refocus your attention on your goals and away from the obstacles. What do you want your life to look and feel like? What do you need to do to move it in that direction?

Re-framing for Better Results: From Obstacles to Challenges

If you let them, obstacles stop you in your tracks. But if you re-imagine obstacles as challenges, you'll energize yourself to find your strength and smarts and step up to the challenge of staying on course and doing better. Renaming obstacles as challenges puts your eyes back on your life goals. 

Accept daily life challenges as a normal part of life that makes you stronger and more competent each time you choose to problem-solve your way through them. Envision the life you want, then rise to the challenge of meeting your life head-on to figure out what you need to do to get there. 

Find ways to use your current challenges to move you further toward what you want--even if the message is 'I've had enough and it's time to move on'. The tough times show us what we don't want in life and serve to propel us towards what we do want. That's the challenge and the opportunity.


Your patience and persistence in pursuing the life you desire ultimately pays off. Trust your inner strength and willingness to always take the next step to meet life challenges. When you hit a rough patch, put your head down and endure what you can not escape to get through the tough times and get back to the good times.

Trust me--you got this, Girl!

'If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.' Frank A. Clark

  

Keep Your Eye on the Goal

Forward Thinking: Imagining Your Life Ahead

Take a moment to look into the future imagining different outcomes for your current situation. Consider what your life would look like by keeping the status quo or changing things up. Listen to your gut or intuition. Consider what you want your life to be.  Here are two common situations to think through.

Stay in the Relationship or Move On

💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm still in this relationship: What made me stay? What does the relationship look like? How has my life improved or worsened? How do I feel?  How did I overcome obstacles? What did I do to speak up? What changes did I make to make me feel safe and comfortable staying?

 

💔 It's 5 years down the road and I long ago left the relationship: What happened to make me move on? What was I dissatisfied with in the relationship? How has my life improved? What steps did I take to make me feel safe with changes?

 
💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm loving my life: What am I doing? Where am I doing it? Who is in my life?

Stay in Current Career/Job or Move On?

💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm still with this company or in this business: What made me stay? What does the work look like? What do the hours, pay and benefits look like? How does the job fit my lifestyle? 

 

💔 It's 5 years down the road and I long ago left the company or business: What happened to make me move on? What was I dissatisfied with in the company or career? Hours? Pay? Benefits? Management Style? Lack of Advancement Opportunities? Poor job fit for my skills?

💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm loving my work: What am I doing? Where am I doing it? How much money am I making? 

Current Thinking to Align with Your Career Goals 

 💙 Why did I take my current job? How do/did I see it as a stepping stone for advancing? What's my 5 year plan?  

 

💚 What am I willing to do differently to make more money, utilize my talents better, or have more satisfaction in my work? Who can I ask for advice? 

 

💛 What have I learned in this job? What skills have I built or honed I can use to promote myself for my next position? How has this experience shown me I can handle whatever life throws me with grace and ease? How will I be strengthened by my experience with this job that will make me better for the next one?

 

💜 How can I make the best use of my time while I'm still in this job to help me move to a better position? Is there job training I can take advantage of? Can I ask to take on a job or project to learn something new? Can I use this time to self-study for a licensing exam to position me for more money or opportunity? Can I speak up about the type of training/instruction I need to better function in the job?

 

I love moving my life forward

 

Thriving in a Bumpy Life filled with Obstacles

 

Alone

There she was, alone, standing in the field contemplating her life, unaware she had company. But her ever-constant, fierce and spiritual spirits never left her side. Her guiding spirits knew she would not only survive, she would thrive.

The spirits began to softly whisper in her ear: "Peace be with you. You are strong and resilient. Life will come good again. You will survive. You will thrive."

Life is a Bumpy Ride filled with Obstacles

'If you're going through Hell...just keep going.' Winston Churchill

This is the thing about life--it's a bumpy ride filled with obstacles. With life being what it is, sometimes our dreams collide with a reality that's a bit different than we imagined it. But as Winston Churchill said, 'If you're going through Hell...just keep going.' We hone our problem-solving and communication skills each time we navigate difficulties. 

So what's a girl to do when she runs into difficulties?  Keep going. Take the next step. Buck up. Get back in there and figure out your options for moving forward.

'Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.' Henry Ford 

When you meet a moment of difficulty and self doubt, learn to interpret it as your cue to refocus your attention on your goals and away from the obstacles. What do you want your life to look and feel like? What do you need to do to move it in that direction?

Re-framing for Better Results: From Obstacles to Challenges

If you let them, obstacles stop you in your tracks. But if you re-imagine obstacles as challenges, you'll energize yourself to find your strength and smarts and step up to the challenge of staying on course and doing better. Renaming obstacles as challenges puts your eyes back on your life goals. 

Accept daily life challenges as a normal part of life that makes you stronger and more competent each time you choose to problem-solve your way through them. Envision the life you want, then rise to the challenge of meeting your life head-on to figure out what you need to do to get there. 

Find ways to use your current challenges to move you further toward what you want--even if the message is 'I've had enough and it's time to move on'. The tough times show us what we don't want in life and serve to propel us towards what we do want. That's the challenge and the opportunity.


Your patience and persistence in pursuing the life you desire ultimately pays off. Trust your inner strength and willingness to always take the next step to meet life challenges. When you hit a rough patch, put your head down and endure what you can not escape to get through the tough times and get back to the good times.

Trust me--you got this, Girl!

'If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.' Frank A. Clark

  

Keep Your Eye on the Goal

Forward Thinking: Imagining Your Life Ahead

Take a moment to look into the future imagining different outcomes for your current situation. Consider what your life would look like by keeping the status quo or changing things up. Listen to your gut or intuition. Consider what you want your life to be.  Here are two common situations to think through.

Stay in the Relationship or Move On

💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm still in this relationship: What made me stay? What does the relationship look like? How has my life improved or worsened? How do I feel?  How did I overcome obstacles? What did I do to speak up? What changes did I make to make me feel safe and comfortable staying?

 

💔 It's 5 years down the road and I long ago left the relationship: What happened to make me move on? What was I dissatisfied with in the relationship? How has my life improved? What steps did I take to make me feel safe with changes?

 
💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm loving my life: What am I doing? Where am I doing it? Who is in my life?

Stay in Current Career/Job or Move On?

💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm still with this company or in this business: What made me stay? What does the work look like? What do the hours, pay and benefits look like? How does the job fit my lifestyle? 

 

💔 It's 5 years down the road and I long ago left the company or business: What happened to make me move on? What was I dissatisfied with in the company or career? Hours? Pay? Benefits? Management Style? Lack of Advancement Opportunities? Poor job fit for my skills?

💓 It's 5 years down the road and I'm loving my work: What am I doing? Where am I doing it? How much money am I making? 

Current Thinking to Align with Your Career Goals 

 💙 Why did I take my current job? How do/did I see it as a stepping stone for advancing? What's my 5 year plan?  

 

💚 What am I willing to do differently to make more money, utilize my talents better, or have more satisfaction in my work? Who can I ask for advice? 

 

💛 What have I learned in this job? What skills have I built or honed I can use to promote myself for my next position? How has this experience shown me I can handle whatever life throws me with grace and ease? How will I be strengthened by my experience with this job that will make me better for the next one?

 

💜 How can I make the best use of my time while I'm still in this job to help me move to a better position? Is there job training I can take advantage of? Can I ask to take on a job or project to learn something new? Can I use this time to self-study for a licensing exam to position me for more money or opportunity? Can I speak up about the type of training/instruction I need to better function in the job?

 

I love moving my life forward