Stop Living for Reason; Time to Start Living for Rhyme

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Life Dealt You a Blow? Don't Belittle Yourself, Be BIG Yourself

'Your problem is you're too busy holding onto your unworthiness.' 

Ram Dass

Life Dealt You a Blow? 

When life deals you a blow sit in it until you're ready to move on. When you're ready, dig deep to get out of the fear and self-doubt immobilizing you. 

Rediscover your ability to ask for help as you pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Our strength comes from both accepting help from others as well as from taking action. It takes a BIG person to ask for help and also to step into action when they're full of fear and self-doubt. Find your BIG self.

Move confidently~with strength and conviction~in the direction of your dreams one step at a time.

Let it go and move on

'Don't belittle yourself. 

Be BIG yourself.'

Corita Kent

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Memories of Loved Ones Like Songs in Our Souls~Margaret Wakeley

💙WHO ARE YOU MISSING?💙

💙HONOR YOUR MEMORIES💙

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Listen Carefully: Everything True and Good we Learn from Dogs

Ralph Waldo Emerson Speaks

Ralph Waldo Emerson Speaks

Meet Ralph Waldo Emerson, the Dog--a larger than life being with a big personality who graces the lives of my good friend, Sally and her family. Emerson is a dog with impeccable social manners--making everyone who visits feel welcome and part of the pack. He plays the welcoming host during your visit--sitting or walking alongside you to assure your comfort and safety--until your departure.

With his amicable, easy-going and unflappable manner Ralph Waldo Emerson greets you when you arrive with an enthusiastic tail wag and a look deep into your eyes that says 'I see you and know you're here to be seen. Come. Sit. Stay'. 

When I first met this playful but gentle giant I immediately envisioned his human namesake's words of wisdom coming from Emerson the dog and this is what lead me down the path of seeking quotes--especially from Ralph Waldo Emerson--worthy of emanating from humankind's best friends.  

Be Still~Listen carefully to the teachings of Ralph Waldo Emerson the dog and what your dogs want you to know. Watch and learn.

Emerson on the road less traveled

Ralph Waldo Emerson contemplates 
the universe and shares his world view

Otter says, 'Ooh La La~mais oui!'

Emma says 'Dig Deep!'

Arrow says,🎵 'How to handle a doggie? 

There's a way said a wise old dog. 

The way to handle a doggie

 is to love him, simply love him🎵.'

Emerson says, 'Show me'.

Arrow says, 'Love you to the moon and back!'

Cassius Clay says, 'Get yourself a chunk of hunk to love on, Winnie!'

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.


Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Grief is Like the Ocean

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.


Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Not-So-Strange Bedfellows: Courage and Compassion

Compassion and Courage

Courage and Compassion: The Dynamic Duo

'Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.'  Confucius

We all need two things in equal measure to engage in open, honest, direct communication: courage and compassion. Yet most of us come to the table favoring one over the other.

Some of us have plenty of compassion and we need more courage (we're too nice), while others have plenty of courage and need to develop more compassion (you're too blunt). 

A balance of compassion and courage is needed by all of us if we are to be effective communicators who meet the world head on.

Choose to Live Greatly--Embrace Your Courage and Compassion Daily

'The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility.' Thomas S. Monson

Where will You Bring Compassion and Courage Today? 

Compassion is an emotion firmly rooted in the NOW, or present moment, unlike negative emotions, like fear, that shifts your focus to the past or future.  

To follow through on being compassionate NOW you must have the courage--or heart--to sidestep fear by moving your attention back to the present moment to act today. 

Start each day questioning where and how you'll bring your compassion and courage to deal with the important issues before you. 

No one does conflict perfectly. No one communicates perfectly. No one deals with life perfectly. We're all just practicing every time we engage with other people. 

'A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.'   James E. Faust

Take Heart 

Treasures of the Heart~Courage and Compassion~Go Hand-in-Hand

Both 'courage' and 'compassion' are words originating from Latin roots. 

The origin of Old French 'courage' is from the Latin 'Cor' meaning heart; 'compassion' meaning co-suffering or 'to suffer together' originates from the Latin 'com' meaning 'with', and 'passion' derived from passus or 'patient' meaning one who suffers.

When we demonstrate our courage we have the heart to face difficulty, danger or pain head on--despite fear. Or as Mark Twain said, 'Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear'.

'There are no greater treasures than the highest human qualities such as compassion, courage and hope. Not even tragic accident or disaster can destroy such treasures of the heart.'  Daisaku Ikeda

Compassion 

'The unfettered yearning that responds to the world with noble heart, the understanding that others are just like us.

 Radiating from basic goodness like the sun, compassion lifts us above self-involvement and brings us out of the Dark Age. Just like the sun behind a cloud, it shines through our self-centeredness.'  

 Sakyong Mipham

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Effective Communication: Criticize with Compassion when it really matters

Do you deliver compassionate or judgmental criticism?

How Effective is the Criticism You Deliver to Others?

I don't know about you, but I like to think of myself as a person who strives to do good and feel good about the way I work with others--with the ultimate desire to influence and motivate others to be their best. Yet I fall short of doing the best by others on a daily basis. And I know the truth.

I know if I truly want to influence, motivate and communicate effectively I need to provide information in a way that opens people up to hearing what I have to say rather than in a way that will shut them up and put them on the defensive. So when I fall short of my desire to 'be good and do good' by others I have to check my intentions--and perhaps start over.

You know the truth

Like me, you are the only one who sees what really goes on behind your eyes. And you are the only one who can truly know what's in your heart. What are your intentions when you give feedback to that co-worker or loved one?  

If you want to effectively communicate to positively influence those close to you--you need to criticize with compassion--and that means checking your intentions when things go haywire. 

You can present a good face to others--and also present a good face to yourself. But a good face is not the same as a good heart. It's too easy for us to lie to ourselves and maintain that 'I'm a good person who only does good' image by skipping over the truth.

You are the only one who sees behind your eyes and in your heart

Check Your Intentions

When your intentions are good, and you really want to provide criticism to someone in a way that helps her grow you need to provide factual information in a compassionate manner, otherwise she'll get her hackles up and go on the defensive. 

Here is a simple way to test the truth of how 'good' your interactions and intentions are with others. Compare how you deal with others--either in your head or in your words-- with how you'd like to be treated when getting feedback by examining recent exchanges.

Think about how you interacted with others in the past three days. 

💓How did you talk to or about co-workers or loved ones who messed up or did something wrong?

💓Did you begin by pointing out what needs improvement or what they did wrong?

💓Were you disapproving and judgmental--in your head or in your words?

Are you more compassionate or judgmental in your criticism?

Do You Pass the 'Do unto Others as You'd Like Done unto You' Test? Do You Give what You'd Like to Get?

💓How do you want to be dealt with if you do something wrong?

💓Would you be defensive if others talked with you about your deficiencies the way you talk with them about theirs?

When you compare how you dealt with others with how you prefer to be treated when getting feedback--how compassionate was your criticism? How effective was your communication? Did you get the desired outcome?

Can you honestly say if the conversation was reversed--and you were on the receiving end of the 'feedback' you gave--you would feel good about the interaction and go away feeling you had food for thought? 

And when you look deeply at your intentions in giving feedback--were your intentions to communicate, influence, or motivate, or were your intentions to belittle, demoralize or shut up an adversary?

I have to admit as 'good' as I think I am, I regularly fail to pass the 'me too' test--especially in the conversations that take place in my head. 'So what?'--maybe I don't feel kindly towards that person. If that is the truth of the matter--then I need to own up to that truth and stop pretending to be taking the high road.

When it really matters stop and start over

When it Really Matters

If you want to feel good and at peace with yourself you eventually need to find a way to make peace with where co-workers and loved ones are too. When it really matters, quit 'making them wrong' and make peace with where they are too.

At the end of the day, it is you who is left with the results of your actions and thoughts. 

If you don't care if your communication is effective with someone--it won't matter if your exchange goes south. But if you do care, do something about it.

When it really matters--when you want to maintain trust with co-workers or loved ones--base your intentions on kindness and compassion when giving difficult feedback and reach out to others in a way you want to be treated. When your communication goes wonky, seek a do over to put your relationship back on solid footing based on mutual trust.

When it really matters communicate compassionately

When it really matters communicate compassionately using 'soft openings', asking clarifying questions, factually stating the issues, listening to hear and understand.

Every human being comes into the world as GOOD.

Find a way to speak to the GOOD in others.

Helping Others Remember Who they are

"I was recently told of an African tribe that does the most beautiful thing.

When someone does something hurtful and wrong, they take the person to the center of town, and the entire tribe comes and surrounds him. For two days they’ll tell the man every good thing he has ever done.

 The tribe believes that every human being comes into the world as GOOD, each of us desiring safety, love, peace, happiness.

But sometimes in the pursuit of those things people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help.

They band together for the sake of their fellow man to hold him up, to reconnect him with his true Nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth from which he'd temporarily been disconnected: "I AM GOOD"."

From Sun Gazing http://www.sun-gazing.com

I am Good

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Gracefully Accept and Give Criticism to Grow Stronger

No Fair! I Just got Slammed! 

Like many people you may view getting criticized as a negative--something to be feared--as in getting slammed or bad mouthed, or as someone giving you flack or grief . But it doesn't have to be that way. 

When you choose to seek out and welcome criticism instead of avoiding it you take charge of the feedback you get and set yourself up to grow stronger and more competent. 

'Kritikos'~A Neutral Appraisal

I've always loved that the original Greek word for 'criticize or critique'--'Kritikos'--was defined as a neutral appraisal. It was neither good nor bad--just a factual assessment. 

To me, the word 'kritikos' reminds me of the word, kindness--and reminds me to approach my 'kritikos' with the intent to be kind--and the intention to receive 'kritikos' from others as a kindness.

Be kind when you decide to kritikos!

Criticism: A Positive Tool 

Begin applying a 'kind kritikos' attitude to yourself. Choose to view criticism as a positive tool to enhance your personal effectiveness and improve your relationships.

By changing your view of criticism from a negative to positive evaluation, you'll improve your coach-ability, provide more meaningful and useful feedback to others, and improve your relationships. It all starts with creating positive intentions for receiving and giving feedback.

Criticism: 'To communicate information to others in a way that enables them to use it to their advantage and benefit.'

What are YOUR intentions when you criticize?

How Do You Choose to Use Criticism?

⏩Used properly, with a positive intent, criticism is used to communicate, influence, and motivate. 

⏩Used improperly, with a negative intent, criticism is used to belittle, demoralize and shut up adversaries.

It's your choice--a positive or negative intent:

⏩Choose a positive intent and you grow stronger and more competent. 

⏩Choose a negative intent and you grow hardened and bitter. 

How to Use Criticism to Communicate, Influence and Motivate

💜 Get Clear on Your Intentions

Abraham Lincoln said, 'He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.'  When you start with the proper intentions ~ to help others use information to their advantage and benefit ~ you'll speak from the heart, and you're more likely to be heard. 

When people know you care about them, they're more open to listening to, and being influenced by you.

💜 Decide to Live in a Friendly , Not Hostile, World

When you're on the receiving end, be intent to make a good use of all feedback. Make a choice to be open ~ Ask for feedback ~ welcome feedback  ~ and above all, always thank others for feedback. Be coach-able ~ and don't give others anything to push against. 

But what if you're on the receiving end of criticism, and the criticizer's intentions are not so good? You can't do anything about the other's negative intent, but you can be the master of your own soul, and influence your personal development, by deciding to accept all feedback as good. 

This doesn't mean you must take in everything said. It means you stay open to hearing, without resistance. You choose to suspend judgment so you can decide later what to keep and what to let go.

Your view of the world around you---as a friendly or hostile world-- will determine how you respond to everything else. Make a conscious decision to see the world as a friendly place, one that supports your health, happiness and well-being. 

Choose to step around the intentions of those who mean to do you harm. Stay focused on creating your own, positive, friendly world.

💜 Get the Facts

If your intentions are to keep your relationships intact, always check out your assumptions with  other people. Start feedback conversations with a soft opening like, 'Do you have a moment to talk?', then gently move into the heart of the issue, engaging in open, honest, direct communication. Ask clarifying questions and listen intently. Seek to hear and understand the other person's intent.

We all need two things to engage in open, honest, direct communication ~ courage and compassion. Some of us have plenty of compassion and we need more courage (we're too nice), while others have plenty of courage and need to develop more compassion (you're too blunt). A balance of compassion and courage is needed by all of us.

No one does conflict perfectly. And no one communicates perfectly. We're all just practicing every time we engage with other people. 

Where Can You Apply in Your Life?

💜Has someone criticized you recently? How can you turn that information into beneficial feedback that helps you develop? 

💜Where do you need to use your courage and compassion to engage others in open, honest, direct communication that could benefit both you and them?

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.