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Friday, January 6, 2017

It's All Good: Everything Seemingly Good or Bad Works in Our Favor

It's All Good

'When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.' Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes life throws us a curve ball we didn't see coming that overwhelms us on impact. In that moment--when we need time to garner our inner strength and resources before meeting a situation head on--a shroud of denial envelopes us.

Too often we think of tension, stress and denial as bad,  and relaxation, calm and consciousness as good. The truth is, used properly, they're all good.

It's All Good

For Everything there is a Season

Being in denial isn't a bad thing. Denial is a wonderful coping mechanism, born out of the body's wisdom, designed to protect us when we're overwhelmed and frightened.
Sometimes we just need to 'turn the world off' and pull the covers over our head. Denial is an effective survival mechanism that has served humanity for thousands of years.
But being stressed or experiencing the associated tension isn't a bad thing either. It is the stress response that provides us the momentum to actively deal with the challenges of life when we're ready--and it is the tension that creates our readiness. 
'Sometimes we need to go on high alert and be nudged into taking action. Like denial, the body's stress response is another effective survival mechanism that has served us for thousands of years.'

Stress, Tension and Denial Guide us through life

Think of stress, tension and denial as the three physical states working in tandem to successfully nudge us through life's challenges.

Denial provides a soft cushion 

Denial provides us a soft cushion against the onslaught of the harsh realities of life and gives us time to wrap our minds around something we just aren't ready to deal with. 

Stress is our noble warrior and
Tension arms us with courage and focus 

Our stress is our noble warrior preparing us to do battle with those harsh realities of life, while our tension keeps us focused and uncomfortable until we're forced to act in ways that brings our values and beliefs in alignment with our actions--and then it gives us the courage to act.   

A Good and Worthy Battle for Balance

We all wage private battles to bring together where we currently are with where we want ourselves to be.

Sometimes we just aren't ready to speak up or we're too anxious about the consequences of taking the next step so an inner battle rages between denial, stress and tension.

As uncomfortable as this battle is, it is a good and worthy one. It's what helps you take suitable action by choosing what to do in your own time.'

So let the balance battle rage. Sit in denial awhile as your brain works off-line preparing you to come to terms with what's caught your attention--raising your heart rate and blood pressure. And be still, letting the tension rise while you're discovering what you're going to do about it if you're to move on with your life.

The time you sit in denial does not weaken you. You are merely idling while you're feeling vulnerable and afraid. Your strength and courage are still there ready to emerge when the time is right for you to competently handle the issues that initially overwhelmed you. When the time is right, you will act in ways that are right for you. It's all good!
'This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.'  Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's All Good
Recapture a Childlike View of the World

I see the moon and the moon sees me,
God bless the moon and God bless me.

Children's Nursery Rhyme

💙  'From wonder into wonder existence opens.'  Lao Tzu

💙  'Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.'  Ralph Waldo Emerson

💙  'Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.'
Konrad von Gesner

💙  'Even in the mud and scum of things, something always, always sings.'   
Ralph Waldo Emerson

💙  'When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.'
Pema Chodron

💙  'With no desire, at rest and still, All things go right as of their will.'
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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Chris said...

This came at the right time for me. Thanks, Sue.

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

It's always the right time, isn't it, Chris? Somehow this is the stuff of life that we're always dealing with. Coffee any time? Hugs Sue

john miller said...

This sounds a little like Epictetus. Nothing could stir him into the negative. I guess it helps being born as a slave to get your priorities in order. This however is not easy. Most that agree have not seen the worst that life can and will throw their way. We usually tell ourselves we are stronger than we actually are. Still there is no other choice that can help get through a life that can sometimes be horrifying. Like you said we need our illusions. Best of luck to everyone.

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

John you are motivating me to study Epictetus. It IS our HOPE--and our belief we have what it takes to get through the really tough stuff that is how we make it through. Each of us experiences our own difficulties, but some are handed more difficult things to deal with than others. While we're here fighting and struggling through the difficulties we need our moments of denial, hope, and lightness--or illusions--to get us through. The tough times are never easy. Wishing you diversions and illusions for what you're dealing with. Thank you for joining the conversation. Hugs.

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

John--here are the Epictetus quotes that fit:

Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

john miller said...

It sounds simple. Basically it's learn to know what is in your power to effect and what is not, then say to yourself about what you cannot effect "it is nothing". Sounds easy huh lol? Well sometimes your back is against the wall and for a moment it is easy. Then of course we fall back into our programming. The problem as I see it is we are lied to by our parents and culture and so believe in lies that cause us great suffering throughout our lives not to mention wars and all manner of hell. If we ever really decide to change the world it will be through education.

Do you remember my little chihuahua Leonard (Cohen)? He died in my arms from kidney failure last week. I had him put down rather than put him through suffering just so I might hang on to him a little longer. I got to practice some Stoic living. It's not easy. I loved him as one loves a dear and close friend. Let me know if you come across a male chi or chi mix that needs a home. I have a space open. Not much at the shelter these days but some pits. That's a good thing though.

Would love to chat with you sometime. I still get up on the trail some days with Nina. Take care and much love to you.

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

John I would love to chat with you. Look for email.

I am so sorry you lost your dear Leonard Cohen. I will pass on the word you're looking for a new Chi mix. These losses are the most painful.

None of this stuff is easy. If it was we wouldn't write about it and encourage one another to endure. We hate pain, loss and suffering so we need ways to get through them to a place of respite and peace. Our choices are to give up or to find ways to keep going. Not easy, but essential. Hugs

Jean | said...

Sue, this post is brilliant. Positivity without Pollyanna. A balance of optimism and realism. Optirealism? Again, this is one to save for re-reading.

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Jean I love optirealism! This is what a grounded ENFP looks like--an optirealist! Thanks for the great image.