Carrying Negative Baggage? Let it Go

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."  Johann Wofgang von Goethe

Uncovering the Naked Truth

Lately I've been thinking about the story of two monks who happen upon a naked woman standing by a river. The woman wants to cross the river and asks the Monks if one would carry her to the other side. One Monk agrees while the other steps back in horror, but says nothing.

When they get to the other side, the Holy Man carrying the woman puts her down at the bank of the river and the two Monks walk on, traveling the next 10 miles in silence.

The Monk who maintains his purity by refusing to touch the woman ponders the incorrectness of the other's action. As he walks down the road, he simply cannot get the image of the naked woman out of his head. He sees the image of his Brother carrying the naked woman playing over and over again in his head.

Finally at the end of the day the uncontaminated Monk can stand it no longer. He breaks his silence and says, 'how is it you soiled your body and mind by touching that naked woman?'

To which the other Monk replies, 'I left her at the bank of the river while you, on the other hand, have carried her with you all day.'

Which Monk Are You?

We all have the capacity to carry both Monks within us. There is the side of us who jumps into life with simple, straightforward non-judgmental action, and the other side who is filled with 'shoulds', 'don'ts', rules and judgments--who continues to ruminate and second-guess our actions and experiences long after they're over.

Which Monk do you relate to most? Do you spend more time carrying negative thoughts and experiences with you? Or do you strive to walk through your perceived negativity so you can let it go, and move on with your life?

'Naked Lady' Experiences Leave You Feeling Vulnerable

Let me share one of my 'naked lady' stories with you. Early in my career in Los Angeles, when I was a trusting and fresh-faced professional I had a charismatic colleague--who I admired very much--methodically turn other co-workers against me. This was a very public experience that left me feeling exposed and vulnerable, and influenced my outlook for years.

Initially when I revisited Los Angeles after moving away, my mind would be drawn to revisit that uncomfortable experience, and I had to deal with the feeling everyone was judging me each time we came in contact.

Yet years down the road as I was conversing with a colleague who was a major player in THE EVENT I discovered she had no memory of it at all. My naked lady experience I carried within me as a HUGE memory she put down immediately after things transpired.

Furthermore, when I checked in with other people who were involved in my BIG EVENT, their recollection of the experience was minuscule or non-existent. There was no group memory of what transpired--only what I carried with me in my mind. I could have put down my naked lady experience instead of carrying it with me all those years.

What 'Naked Lady Experience' are you carrying with you today?

• What events, experiences or embarrassments are your 'naked lady' experiences causing you to feel exposed and vulnerable?
• Have you been publicly embarrassed, laid off, divorced, or 'made a fool' by a love interest?
• Are you embarrassed because you've lost your home, failed to get a job, or while you may have a job you're being underpaid for your skills and talents?
• What do you need to name, examine and let go?

Most people are too busy with their own lives to maintain an inventory of the negative events and experiences of yours. Don't let your 'naked lady' experiences get a toe-hold in your mind. Let them go and move on with your life.


"The basis of your life is absolute freedom, the goal is joy, and the result of that perfect combination is motion forward, or growth. Your goal is to find objects of attention that let your cork rise."  Abraham

Credit to Sun Gazing Facebook Page



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Are You a Leader? Do Your Actions Inspire Others to Dream More, Learn More and Become More?

"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work." Peter Drucker

Do you fancy yourself a leader?

I hope so. All of us are in a position to positively influence the lives of those around us. That makes you a potential leader no matter what official title or position in life you may hold--even if you are jobless at the moment.

Sometimes I feel like a Leader-less Child.....

'Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.' Peter Drucker

Perhaps in your current situation you feel 'leader-less' despite being surrounded by high-titled 'Senior Leadership' or other such formally sanctioned persons. Why not step in and fill the leadership void in your life?

Yikes! You mean just Take Charge?

No. Leadership is not about exerting power, it is about acting in ways that others want to follow you. The best leaders are calm, clear, focused and understated.

So how do you fill the leadership void in your life? What is a leader--and how do you qualify as one? Personally, I like the definition of a leader provided by John Quincy Adams, 6th President of the United States:
 
'If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.'

While anyone can call themselves a leader, few sanctioned leaders satisfy this powerful standard set by John Quincy Adams. In fact, many who call themselves leaders do the opposite of inspiring others to become more. Through their own self-centeredness or fear they leave others feeling powerless and full of self-doubt.

But there is no reason why you cannot choose to become this leader, inspiring others--as well as yourself-- to dream more, learn more, do more and become more through your own actions.

Inspire Others through Your Own Struggles

So what is your situation at the moment? Are you in the middle of a confidence crisis? Have you temporarily lost your ability to dream? Have others made you doubt yourself?

Take heart. You have within you the strength and ability to handle whatever life throws at you. And you are the perfect person to inspire others.

We are inspired when we witness others continuing to reach for their dreams despite difficult circumstances. The most inspiring stories--like that of J.K. Rowling, author of the highly successful Harry Potter series--are always about people who recovered from dire circumstances to go on to achieve great things. We want to see others dare to dream and achieve so we have the courage to do the same.

Choose An Inspired--Or Spirit-filled Life

Dr. Wayne Dyer says moment by moment we choose to live inspired or not. We are either enthused--or spirit-filled--or not. We have a choice.

Inspire literally means in-spirit---or filled with a spirited, animated or exalted influence. It also means to inhale or to breathe life into.

Now, more than ever, we need leaders who can inspire others--as well as themselves--to dream more. Too many have lost their ability to dream as hope fades, fear rises, and good jobs seem to disappear. But without dreams we cannot create for the future.

So be of good cheer--and chose an inspired life. Choose to have the courage to dream and take action to follow your dreams--especially in troubled times. Through your courageous actions you'll inspire others to follow your lead.

 

What are you doing to Inspire Yourself?

• What are you doing to keep the dream alive in yourself?
• What are your aspirations?
• What actions are you taking to step into your dream?
• How can your actions be an inspiration to those around you?

 

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. Do you need help keeping your dream alive? International speaker and award-winning author, Susan Meyerott provides dynamic interactive workshops for people ready to better manage their work, life and health. Her programs have won national recognition and have been used in homes and organizations throughout the United States, England and Canada.

For more than 25 years, Susan has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. As a speaker and writer, Susan blends her unique background in health promotion, accelerated learning, and communication with a very personal, practical, and humorous style. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

To Think is Easy. To Act is Difficult.To Act as One Thinks is the Most Difficult.

"What is the hardest thing you can possibly do?" she said

when I went to her for advice on the darkest day of the first half of my life."

 

"Why must I do what is hardest?"

 

"Because you are an instrument of God.

Don't leave the instrument sitting in its case. Play!

Leave no part of your instrument unexplored.

Why settle for 'Three Blind Mice' when you can play the 'Gloria'?"

 

Abraham Verghese, Cutting For Stone

Dealing with the Dark Days of our Lives

We all have our dark days when faced with adversity or defeat when we question if anything we've ever done--or will do--is worthwhile. Perhaps you're having one of those times now.

Maybe when you look around, you see others seemingly flying past obstacles and meeting with success, while you alone sit in solitude and pain. You want to take a step but you're not sure how to pull out of the darkness that has invaded your life.

As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote in the 1800s:

"To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult."
 

To pull out of the dark days of your life, as Verghese says you must do what is hardest, and as Goethe says, the hardest is to take action--in ways you believe are right for you.

• What do you believe you are destined to do?
• What do you think is the right thing for you to do at this moment?
• Where do your interests take you?
• What do you wish someone would ask you to do?
• What is your 'Three Blind Mice' way to play life? What is your 'Gloria'?

 

"Everybody wants to be somebody but nobody wants to grow." Goethe

Is it Time to Ask for Help?

When the dark days hit it IS difficult to take action. That is the time to reach out to others who can help you find your dreams, and nudge you to act on them. We all need help at times re-discovering our dreams and gaining the courage to act on them.

Who are the one to two people in your life you can call on? Contact one of them and ask for a chat today.

Don't just sit in darkness--reach out to one person--and let that be the action that gets you off your 'three blind mice' track onto the path to playing your Gloria.

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

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All Stressed-out and No One to Choke?

'A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.' Chinese Proverb

How are you today?

• 'All stressed out and no one to choke?'
• Someone at work making it difficult for you to do good work and accomplish your goals?
• Sending job applications into faceless on-line computer sites and getting round after round of rejection?

Put Adversity to Work for You

Golden Opportunities are everywhere-- especially in adversity and tough times.

Somehow it seems there's always that one person at work or in our life that irritates and annoys us. And now, for job seekers, there isn't even that person to make life miserable---just a matrix computer program that weeds you out before a real person can even look at your resume. Sometimes we feel trapped in a situation with no way out.

React and Your Irritant Controls You

Too often we react to unpleasant situations by 'actively avoiding what we don't want'.

• I don't want to work with her so I'm quitting my job (that I love).
• I don't want to be rejected by a computer so I'm done applying for jobs on-line.
• I don't want to be bullied by him, so I'm just shutting up and keeping my thoughts to myself.

When we react, we put the irritant in charge of our lives--- making us lose our voice, our dream, our vision, and our way. Life stops up, and we begin the day thinking about the irritant controlling our life instead of what we want to accomplish.

Be the Clam That Produces the Pearl

Why give another person or an irritant the power to control and shape your life? Reframe the situation and take charge. Become the clam that produces the pearl, and turn that irritant into the sand that helps you create your pearl.

Let your irritant, or sand, be what stops and signals you it's time to consciously and deliberately articulate what you want to achieve and how you want to achieve your Pearl.

When thoughts of your irritant permeate your day, pause, and redirect your attention to what you want. Consider how you want to work through the sand, instead of getting stuck in it-- and what you're going to do keep the focus on your internally motivated work or dreams.

Life is Full of Opportunities

Golden opportunities are everywhere for you. No one can trap you or hold you back--only you. Learn to act, not react, to unpleasant situations by choosing to actively move toward what you do want; stop actively avoiding what you don't.

Stop, look and listen for the golden opportunities in your most troubling situations and relationships as well as in your everyday life.

Questions to Ask Yourself

• Who or what is your current irritant?
• How are you letting your irritant get in your way?
• Are you in charge of your daily actions or are you letting your irritant dictate your actions or inactions?
• What is it you dream about achieving that you're letting your irritant stop you from doing?
• If you were to name one golden opportunity available to you in your current situation, what would it be?
• If you had all the time in the world and all the money in the world, what would you do with the rest of your life if you knew you couldn't fail?

'Make peace with your today to improve your future... It may sound odd, but the fastest way to get to a new-and-improved situation is to make peace with your current situation. If you rail against the injustices of your current situation, you hold yourself in alignment with what you do not want, and you cannot then move in the direction of improvement. It defies Law. In every particle of the Universe, there is that which is wanted - and the lack of it.'    Abraham

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Been Down so Long Don't Remember How to Feel Good?



'Happiness comes into our lives through doors

we don’t even remember leaving open'

Rose Lane

 

Expect the Unexpected

 

Sometimes when you've been down so long you don't even remember what it feels like to be up. But sometimes--when you least expect it--happiness and good times show up on your doorstep. Then what? How do you act? What do you do?

 

How to Act when Happiness and Good Times Return

 

Don't chastise them for being late--and don't call them liars and send them away again. Instead, treat Happiness and Good Times as honored guests--welcome to stay as long as they'd like.

 

Take them for long walks through town to reacquaint them with your environment. Dress them up and show them off to everyone you meet. Let them shine.

 

Take them out with friends and loved ones to welcome them home.  Share their sparkle and let their fairy dust sprinkle on those you love.

 

Sit quiet and let them whisper words of love and encouragement in your ear. Trust them to speak truth to you, and then help them build a soft nest to rest in your heart. Thank them for coming home to roost.

 

Leave the Door Open  for Happiness

 

If you've been down so long you don't remember how to feel good, leave the door open for happiness and good times to return. Keep a positive expectation for the good times to show up.

 

Keep a green tree in your heart

and perhaps a singing bird will come.

 

Chinese Proverb

 

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighte up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Troubles? Lighten Your Load

When you realize  how perfect everything is you

will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky!

The Buddha

 

Trouble finds you all by itself--you don't need to go looking for it.

To more effectively deal with your troubles, choose to lighten your load with the help of good friends, good humor, and a positive expectation for the future.

The Buddha also said

 

'Before enlightenment chopping wood carrying water;

After enlightenment, chopping wood carrying water.' 

 

Why wait for enlightenment  to enjoy life? Find a way to enjoy what you must do and trust life to support you now.

Choose to accept all things seemingly bad or good work in your favor.



 

 

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

 

 



Introvert or Extravert: Become the Best You Can Be

'Revel in the tension between fear and optimism. If your goal seems impossible, it's probably worth going after.' Larry Romero

 

What Are Your Life Challenges?

 Whether introvert or extravert, we are all capable of being good at anything we choose to master. But we tend to favor some ways of dealing with life over others. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Depending on your preferences, some aspects of managing your life will excite you and others will stress you.

Perhaps:

• You're sociable and fun once you know a person, but you feel awkward and anxious about starting a relationship.
• You're a great finisher whose excitement goes up the closer you get to the finish line but your stress goes up before you start a job.
• You prefer to lay a plan and stick to it and your stress rises when someone asks you to be more flexible about changing those carefully laid plans.
• You excel at working independently and you get stressed by working with others.

Like others, you may be interested in understanding whether you are an introvert or extravert--and what that means to you.  But who you are and how you prefer to deal with life goes much further than whether you prefer introversion or extraversion.

 

The true beauty of understanding how you prefer to deal with life is it allows you the freedom to become the best you can be--first through accepting who you are and second through choosing to consciously and deliberately do things differently.

 

Fifteen years ago I chose to improve my time management skills to get more out of my life.  Since I was a great starter of projects I decided to consciously refocus on the opposite of what I do best--finishing. I discovered by refocusing on the word 'finish' when I started a new endeavor I took things to completion sooner. Today it's almost second nature for me to finish what I start.

 Refocus with a Single Word

You don't need to know the whole truth about who you are to become a better you. Whether you want to be more compassionate or less judgmental, loosen up, be timelier, or relate better with others--you can begin to master your less preferred ways to manage life by refocusing your attention with a single word. It's that simple.

If you want to become a better you, choose a starting place to redirect your focus so you attend to what you want to master. That's what choosing a single refocusing word is about. 

Deep inside, you know what that one word is for you. You know if you were to consciously embrace one less preferred aspect of how you deal with life you would be more balanced and your life less stressful.

So what is it that would make your life more balanced, and what is the single word that could serve to easily refocus your attention on what you want to master?

Is Your Critical, Judgmental Nature Getting in the Way?

Perhaps you are too critical and judgmental towards yourself and others. You want to be in a loving relationship, but your critical and judgmental thinking is getting in the way.

A healthy relationship requires an equal amount of courage and compassion. If you are too critical and judgmental you may demonstrate lots of courage to speak your mind and not enough compassion towards others and yourself.

Refocus your attention with the word compassion to guide you to soften up and lead with more heart, than head. An added bonus to focusing on the word compassion is you will be kinder to yourself—and have more courage to let go of the fear and be yourself.

Struggling to Learn a New Skill or Job?

When you're struggling to learning a new skill or job you can feel overwhelmed by where to begin. If your reaction to being overwhelmed is to avoid stepping into the learning process, you may want to choose the word 'start' or 'small' to cue you to just jump in and take the first small step.

Become the Person You Already Are--Only Better!

Don't worry about picking the perfect word. Pick one word to guide you daily--and start using it.  If you need to change your focus, do it. Just keep it simple.

I was always a person who was flexible and adaptable. By focusing on finishing, today I am a flexible and adaptable person who is easy to work with--and who finishes projects and meets deadlines.

Whether introvert or extravert, by choosing to focus on one word to help you manage your life better, you'll become the person you already are--only better!

Refocusing Words--Choose One

• Start
• Finish
• Follow-through
• Tenacious
• Persistent
• Patient
• Adaptable
• Flexible
• Compassionate
• Courageous
• Flexible
• Decisive
• Enjoy
• Engage
• Relate
• Open
• Suspend (Judgment)
• Choose
• Happy
• Active
• Action
• Pro-active
• Describe (don't judge)
• Trust

'If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.'  Lao Tzu

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Forget Motivation--Just Do It!

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."
Mark Twain


Okay, come clean. What's the thing you've been thinking you need to do you just haven't gotten around to doing?

Come on, you know what it is! It's the very thing that--if you did it--it would have a great impact in the way your life worked, or would help you achieve a life goal, or help you live your life mission. Sometimes it's just something that would make your day-to-day life easier.

The Anticipation is Killing Me!

The thing is, you know there is something on your mind that continues to show up for brief visits every morning, weekend or evening before it disappears as you return to your work, or other such distractions. And you also know, until you take care of it, it will continue to irritate you.

Years ago a cartoon featured the lovable cat, Garfield, considering the task of getting out exercising. He thinks, "I probably should get up and exercise, but my feet will start to hurt and my heart will pound. I'll get out of breath, start to sweat, and I won't be able to make it back home. Exercise isn't so bad," he says, "But the anticipation is killing me!"

Like Garfield, the thing you need to do probably isn't so bad, but the anticipation is killing you! That small first step could potentially have a large impact on your life so you overthink it. The anticipation leads to procrastination, killing your motivation to take a step.

Begin Simply, and Simply Begin

To overcome the inertia to taking the first step, begin simply, and simply begin! Forget about motivation! Just Do It! Consider Mark Twain's philosophy:

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

Brian Tracy in his book, 'Eat That Frog!' plays off Twain's quirky quip to create 21 ways to stop procrastinating. Tracy equates your 'frog' to your biggest, most important task, the one likeliest to have the greatest positive impact on your life---yes, the very THING we've been talking about!

Tracy goes on to lay down the first two rules of 'frog eating':

'If you have to eat two frogs, eat the ugliest one first.'
'If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn't pay to sit and look at it for very long.'

Apply the Rule of Frog

 

Basically, the rule of frog says stop anticipating, and start each day by doing the most important thing that needs doing before you do anything else. Don't sit around thinking about taking that first bite of frog. Bite into the hardest, ugliest task you've been avoiding first thing in the morning--and do it every morning.

 

Leap Frog Your Way to a Satisfying, Productive Life

 

Begin simply: make a list of 'frogs'. Then simply begin to jump through those self-imposed hoops, leap frogging your way each and every morning to a more satisfying and productive life.

 

Why wait to get started? Jump in NOW. Choose something from the list below...or use the list to jump start your own list.

 

Frogs to Eat First Thing in the Morning

• Make a list of your frogs. Choose an ugly one.
• Make that phone call.
• Start that school or job application.
• Ask for help. Pick up the phone. Send the e-mail.
• Practice learning a new technology skill now.
• Make a dentist appointment. Put your self-care first.
• Make a doctor appointment. Put your self-care first.
• Call a sick friend.
• Write a letter to someone in need.
• Go to the gym.
• Find a new job.
• Research school options
• Make and maintain contact with good friends.
• Find a mate. Put yourself in the environment where you'll meet potential mates.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

 

Practice Happiness: Train Your Brain to Accent the Positive

Inspiring others towards happiness brings you happiness
Inspire Happiness

'Recalling days of sadness, memories haunt me. Recalling days of happiness, I haunt my memories.'

Robert Brault

 

Get out of Your Negative Rut

 

Do you find yourself focusing on things that aren't going well during your day, or perhaps the piles of things you failed to get to? Do you beat yourself up over striking out with that woman, messing up at work, or failing to get that job interview?

Take a lesson from Tommy Lasorda, former Manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers:

"If you're worried about that last at bat, you're going to be miserable--you're only going to get depressed. But if you put a picture in your mind that you're going to get a base hit off him the next time, now how do you feel? I try to put positive pictures into the minds of my players."

 

Stop beating yourself up over what goes wrong in your day--Learn to pay more attention to what's going well instead and--as Tommy said--create a positive picture of how you're going to get a hit next time.

To 'practice happiness', the goal is to train your brain to shift the focus to your achievements by taking an inventory of your day with four questions and to create a positive picture of your future success.

 

You Can Train Your Brain to be More Positive in 3-5 Weeks

 

Take a daily inventory. Choose to focus on what's going well in your life and you'll retrain your brain to accent the positive. It may feel awkward or forced at first, but do it anyway. In just three to five weeks you'll learn to do what doesn't come naturally.

 

With consistent focus on the good stuff in your life you'll shift out of that 'naturally' negative groove into a positive channel. Set aside 15-minutes each day to focus your attention on the good stuff and to create a positive picture of your future success.
 

Re-focus by writing. Okay, so it doesn't feel natural to write it down either. But if you only do what comes naturally, you'll fail to get out of a negative mindset. 

The natural tendency is to focus on the negative in your head making it difficult to shift your thinking towards the positive. The negative track is just too deep. It's essential to redirect your thoughts by writing it down. Choose to be uncomfortable.

 

The physical act of writing down the questions and your answers centers your attention as it moves you into a different part of your brain. Get a notebook or journal to collect your positive actions and life experiences--and to create a positive picture of your future success.

 

Ask yourself these four questions to accent the positive:  

What is working well for me in my work and life?

 

What have I accomplished I've failed to acknowledge?

 

What is the most meaningful thing I did in the last 24 hours?

 

What is one meaningful step I could take today?

Picture This Daily

Think back to a time you had a positive, successful experience. Visualize it, then describe it in writing. Describe the experience. Describe how you felt. Now, picture a future success--what does it look like?

You Can Do This

You are the only one who can change your mindset from the negative to the positive. If you are unhappy with where your life is right now--do you care enough about yourself to be uncomfortable fifteen minutes a day to 'practice happiness'? You can do this. You're worth it.

 

'One day, in your search for happiness, you find a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search.'

Robert Brault

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.