Good Communication May Begin with Avoidance

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King Jr.


I'm Not Ready to be Nice!

When I was younger I was responsible for getting my younger sister to do the dishes on the nights it was her turn. One night as we were arguing about her failure to clean the kitchen my father had enough of listening to us argue.

"Suz! Nanc! Go outside and don't come in until you're ready to be nice!"

We both did as we were told and went out on the back patio to cool off. After a few minutes my sister simply walked back into the house, but not me. I just sat out there and stewed.

Finally after so much time passed my father stuck his head out the door and said, " Suz, come on in."

But indignant I was yelled at for just trying to get my sister to do her job I was still too mad to come in and replied, "No! I'm not ready to be nice!"

Still Sitting on the Back Patio

That was one of those defining life moments for me. Over the past  45 years I've found myself 'sitting on the back patio' when someone hurts my feelings or inappropriately chastises me. There I am--totally unwilling to come in out of the cold to 'make nice'.

It's just how it is--there's a distinct period of time after a perceived injustice when I'm just not ready to deal. If I was to face the conflict before I was ready, it would only produce a poor outcome so I retreat into myself until I'm ready to come out.

Maybe Good Communication Begins with Avoidance

It's a no-brainer: If you're going to resolve conflict with someone you must face the issue and talk directly to the other person.  But sometimes you're just not ready.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, we all have those private moments of feeling like a chastised child when someone gets mad at us or 'does-us-wrong'--especially if we're working hard to do good or 'get it right'. The unfairness of it all throws us into our own private childish funk.

Think about it: What was your private reaction to a recent unfair situation or perceived injustice? What conversation went on in your head? What did you want to say to that person but didn't? How did you blow off your anger?  What's your 'sitting on the back porch unwilling to come in from the cold' experience?

Sure, as we mature we learn the art of waiting before we react when we're upset. But that doesn't stop the immediate feelings of being a reprimanded or discounted child. So maybe our path to good communication begins with avoidance. Avoiding a confrontation allows us to work through the child-like feelings before proceeding to facing the difficult--or crucial—conversation so we are better equipped to handle it well.

Self-Calming Activities Restore Your Mature Self

We all need time to let the heat of the moment subside. Stepping away from your hurt or anger to engage in self-calming activities is key to restoring good relationships and your mature self. Take a walk, talk to a friend, take a nap, play with your dog or participate in any pleasant activity that serves as a distraction from dealing with the issue.

The more time you put between when you first get upset and when you choose to talk with the other person, the more time you have to allow calm thinking and options to appear.

 Go Ahead--Sit on the Back Patio Until You're Ready

There's nothing wrong with taking your time sitting in your feelings. Don't rush to deal with an issue before you're ready. Sit out in the cold for as long as you need to. Then, when you're ready, find a way to deal with the other person so your relationship is restored.

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." George Bernard Shaw

Sign Up for Free E-mail Updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.



Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Einstein's Three Rules of Work: Find Simplicity, Harmony and Opportunity

'Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.' 

Albert Einstein

You knew Albert Einstein was brilliant, but who knew simplicity, harmony and opportunity were at the core of his work values?

Einstein's three rules of work really speaks to me. I like to think I have characteristics in common with him, but the common ground I share with him is a scientific mind that tends to create a bit of  chaos and clutter in my living and work environment.

To me, Einstein's three rules of work fit with Lao Tzu's quote, 'To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.'

💙 When we sit quiet, out of clutter, simplicity emerges.

💚 When we sit quiet in the midst of discord, harmony emerges.

💜 When we sit quiet in the middle of difficulty, opportunity emerges.

Einstein might have named these the three rules to make life work. When we stay in chaos and crisis mode we are unable to find the simplicity, harmony and opportunity present in every situation. But take a breather or walk to calm the mind, and the whole universe surrenders to us.

Where Can you Apply This to your Life?

💙 What have you been hyped up about?

💚 Where in your life could you benefit from taking a breather to calm your mind?

💜 Where in your life would you like to find simplicity,harmony and opportunity?

Do it now

'To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.'  

Lao Tzu

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be,sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Afraid to Make Mistakes? Get Over It!

'Doing one fool thing after another is not so terrible when you consider the human proclivity to do several fool things at once'   Robert Brault

Afraid to Look Foolish? Get Over it!

Are you so afraid to make a mistake you never take a step? Lighten up! Get out there and mess up. 

• Fail Big
• Fall on your Face
• Embarrass Yourself Big Time

 ......just stay involved experimenting with life.

What Makes You Feel Foolish?

• Asking someone for a date.
• Letting others know you're looking for a relationship.
• Letting others know you're looking for a job.
• Letting others know you've been on unemployment a long time and you really want a job.
• Applying for a job you know 100 others applied for.
• Speaking up in a meeting.
• Saying 'I Love You'.
• Admitting you made a mistake.
• Asking for help.
• Admitting you feel foolish.

Step into Life

We are wired to learn from our mistakes. The key to moving your life forward is to continually take a step--any step--that has the potential for a positive outcome.

'Don't belittle yourself be BIG yourself', says Corita Kent. It takes a big person to get out there, be foolish, and make mistakes in the course of living life. Set your sights on what you want -- a good job, a healthy relationship, a healthy body--and continually take small steps in the direction of that goal. Sometimes playing the fool isn't so foolish after all.

'One is more apt to become wise by doing fool things than by reading wise sayings.'  Robert Brault

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates 

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?  

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Job Hunting: How to Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions

'Toss your dashed hopes not into a trash bin but into a drawer where you are likely to rummage some bright morning.'     Robert Brault


Have you or someone you know been laid off?

Getting laid off can be scary and demoralizing. Unless you take charge of your emotions as you seek new work, the overwhelming sense of fear and failure can immobilize you. What can you do to get yourself on a positive, hopeful job hunting path?

Six Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity and Hope Job Hunting

To get off on the right foot daily, you must begin by dealing with the fear, stress, anxiety, anger, shame--and other negative emotions generated by your layoff.

Take steps to transform your negative emotions into positive actions each and every day. Here are six tips for daily actions to help you maintain your sanity and hope during your job hunt.

At the beginning of each day choose to:

1.  Stop and Start over. Consciously center yourself each day. Fear, anger, and anxiety work against you and wastes your energy. Choose to harness your energy and enthusiasm.

2.  Concentrate on Facts, not Fears. Decide on one active step to take each day rather than letting fear immobilize you. Approach your job search factually. Take the emotion out.

3.  Be on a Search for the Truth. Take a step--any step--down a path with the potential for a positive outcome without knowing if it is the right path or if you'll get the job. this is the key to 'stepping over the invisible barriers to taking action'.

4.  Make no Judgments & Cast no Blame. Let go of anger or internal judgment about what happened to cause the layoff. It is what it is. If you fail to hear back from someone after you call or send a resume, don't move into self-blame or analyzing what an a-hole the person is. Move on or take the next step.

5.  Envision the Best Possible Future. The key is to see what you want, not what you fear.  Every day, take the first five minutes of your day to describe and focus on your ideal job. If you want to work on it longer, do it.

6.  Plan your work and work your plan. Take the time to list concrete actions that will move you towards landing a new position and find ways to include others who can help you.

'Tough times don't last...tough people do'  Robert H Schuller

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

How to Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Beliefs

'Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.'  W. Clement Stone

What Beliefs Lead Your Life and Actions? 

 The messages leading our lives and actions are everywhere--in newspapers, TV and the internet; in our communications and actions; in our photos, art, and music.

Every day we're bombarded with messages running the gamut from life-affirming to fear-creating--and we're letting them influence us. Unless we pause to consciously choose which ones we let in, those negative ones heightening our fear response are the ones most likely to get into our psyches.

Fear, Anxiety and Anger Don't Need Help Getting In

 Unfortunately fear-creating messages don't need help getting into our brains. Because they come fully-packed with a strong emotional charge they get fast-tracked in as the fear whips through our body and there they stay until we work to get the negativity out.

But it doesn't have to be that way. You can choose to let more positive thoughts take up residence in your brain leading to more positive actions by taking your cue from the power of fear and anger producing thoughts. 

Take a Lesson from the Bad Boys--Fear, Anxiety and Anger

The problem with positive, life-affirming messages, such as 'All is Well in my World' is they are so very nice. They fail to slam you in the gut like the bad boys--fear, anxiety and anger.The lesson to be learned from the success of negative thoughts slipping in is the brain loves and attends to messages with strong emotional and visual impact.

'The lesson to be learned from the success of negative thoughts is the brain loves and attends to messages with strong emotional and visual impact.'

To remedy the situation find ways to present positive, calming, affirming messages with strong emotional and visual impact. The stronger the meaning you give a message, the more your brain attends to it.

Here's the thing--your brain doesn't remember facts, it remembers meaning. So the more meaning you give something, the more it takes root in your memory. 

'Your brain doesn't remember facts, it remembers meaning.'

Focus Your Attention on the Positive Messages

Rather than glancing at the affirmation 'All Is Well in my World' and moving on with your day, stop and do something with it ~React to it ~ Talk about it ~ Redesign it ~ Apply it ~ Go for a walk and ponder it. When you experience a discrepancy between what you believe and how you act, you will change your beliefs to match your actions. Choose positive actions and positive beliefs will follow.

  

• What meaning does 'All Is Well in my World' have for you today? 
• What can you do to apply it to your life?
• What is getting in the way of you accepting this message as true for you right now?
• How can you switch from accepting fear-based messages to accepting everything is well in your world?

Create Eye and Heart Candy for the Brain 

Rather than reading the words in positive messages, actively respond to them. Turn the messages into pieces of art or postcards to send on to others. The more color you use creating positive artful messages, the more meaning you give them. And the more you share them with others, the deeper the messages get in your own psyche.

All is Well in my World

Let go of the fear. All is well.

What beliefs are you affirming through your actions?

• When you get out for that daily walk or bike ride you affirm you're healthy and active.
• When you stay involved in serving your community you confirm you're connected.
• When you celebrate other's good fortune in getting or keeping a job, you affirm your own good fortune is on its way.
• When you pass on life-affirming messages to others you affirm your own desire to create  life-affirming actions.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.


Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Developing Trust and Connecting with Others

'I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'  Maya Angelou

How High is Your 'Hello Factor'?

Go ahead--run an experiment—starting right now, consciously greet and acknowledge each and every person who crosses your path for the next 24 hours. Notice--as you increase your 'Hello Factor' does your 'Happiness Factor' increase?

Hello ~ Bonjour ~ Hola ~ Ciao ~ Hey There

"Good morning!"
"Have a nice day."

"Nice chatting."
"Good to meet you."
"Love you."
"Be well."
"Peace be with you."

Greeting another when your paths cross is such a simple social grace. It takes no time to look another in the eye, smile, and offer a simple greeting--and it does so much to ground you and improve your connection with others.

On the other hand, when you fail to acknowledge and greet people--whether co-worker, family, or stranger—you leave the others feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked. As a result you end up feeling disconnected and isolated yourself.

When you fail to acknowledge and greet people you leave them feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked.

To Feel Connected Make Others Feel Welcome

We all do our best work, bring our best discussions and enjoy connecting with the people around us when we feel welcome and appreciated.

No matter what the situation, we all want to feel others are happy to be with us. From our first day of work to our last, we want to feel welcome and included in the workplace. When we join online discussions, family gatherings, or social groups we want to feel like a welcome addition.

The art of making people feel welcome is simple. In all situations convey the four messages all people want to hear:

The Four Messages All People Want to Hear

I'm glad I'm here.
I'm glad you're here.
I care about you.
I know that I know.

You don't have to actually say those words--you need to convey the four welcoming messages through your actions. The simple social nicety of greeting people is a great first step. When you convey these four messages to the people you interact with you'll discover you connect with people faster--and your own happiness factor will rise.

Check it out: Are You Connecting?

• How do you make the people around you feel? When you're comfortable with yourself others feel comfortable with you. Be other conscious, not self-conscious. Reach out to others with a kind comment and smile.
• Do you practice the art of making others feel welcome and connected? Or are you so concerned about making an impression, getting your work done, and finding the next opportunity that you can't be bothered with how you make others feel? The key to connecting with others is to make them feel you have all the time in the world for them in a few short moments of greetings.

‎"A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at home." Anon

Thank you to Kim Miller for this quote.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Staying Positive During Life Transitions

'The best way to live is to be, simply be.'  Yogi Bhajan

Unsettling Times of Transition

Are you finding it difficult to stay positive in today's crazy world of work?

Sure, the economy is slowly recovering, but it still has its ups and downs. You may find yourself in the middle of either making a transition or thinking about making a transition in your career.

But with all the uncertainty about the future, you may be left feeling lethargic, unsettled, and unmotivated to take the next step.

Perhaps you're:

• Unemployed and still without a job after months of searching;
• Employed, but in a job you hate and feel compelled to keep, even though you fear you may be next on the chopping block;
• An independent business owner whose business is failing in the current economy, but you lack the energy to develop a new business plan.
• A recent college graduate worried about finding the right job to launch your career.

Change from Future Tense to Present Ease


 No matter who you are, or what your work situation is, when you're in the middle of a transition it's always unsettling--leading you to freeze up, and become frozen in inactivity and inertia.

 What makes you tense is your focus on the future. You fear what won't happen that you want to have happen, or you fear what will happen that you don't want to happen.

 When you feel overwhelmed and stuck in 'future tense', it's time to stop, take a breath, and ease back into the present. Get off the worry track. Take a day off from thinking about 'your situation', and engage in activities that let you know you are glad to be alive.

'The best day—Going to bed with a dream, waking up with a purpose.' Exceptional Living

Be--Just Be

Tough times require, well, sometimes, sitting back, doing nothing, and thinking about something else.

 Sometimes we just need to stop to remember--life is to be enjoyed. Instead of letting your life be determined by fear and worry, focus on putting memorable activities into your life each day.

 To stay positive during times of transition, find a way to do something of great personal importance each day so you can 'write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year'.

 What Gives Your Life Meaning?

What is one activity of great personal importance you could engage in today that would let you write on your heart 'today is the best day of the year'?

Don't think about it--do it.

'And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.'  Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

  

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Mark Twain Makes Learning Easy

'A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.' Mark Twain

Carrying a Cat by the Tail

Mark Twain can evoke an image like no other and bring it home to rest. Today's Twain-ism elicited a full out belly laugh in me, swiftly followed by the image of carrying a cat by the tail searing into my brain.

While I've never actually carried a cat by its tail, I know exactly what it means ---and you do too.

The Shocking Truth

We often choose our learning lessons, by bucking the wise counsel of others or our own better judgment. Sometimes we just have to step in and experience that wild ride for ourselves. We suspect what we're about to do is not a good idea, but we're going with it any way.

As a kid growing up surrounded by cow pastures and orchards, I spent a lot of time running around with neighborhood kids exploring the world around us. One day a pack of us decided it would be fun to touch an electric fence with all of us holding hands just to see what would happen. The person at the front of the line touched the fence with a single piece of wet grass and that current whipped through our bodies, zapping us with a wallop.

Did I suspect it was a bad idea? Yep. Did I do it anyway? Yep. Did I do it again? Nope. Like carrying a cat by the tail, I learned first-hand why that wasn't such a good idea--and I've never forgotten the experience.

Up Close and Personal Experiences--and a Good Story

But not all 'carrying a cat by the tail' experiences go against our good judgment. They're just great up close and personal experiences, like my shocking experience, that pack their own wallop--meaningful, relevant, interesting and fun.

A full 75% of the population in the United States learns best through experience. And the other 25% of us who just imagine and learn? We, too, benefit greatly through hands-on, interactive learning. Nothing gets something into our memory and enhances our learning like hands-on, cat-by-the-tail experience--and a good story.

Don't expect to just read that instruction manual and expect to retain the contents. It's boring. Do something with the information instead--something interactive--it'll stick better. And if the way you interact with the information creates a great, outlandish image or story, it's all the better for helping you remember the details.

Mark Twain was the master of outlandish. And that's why we remember so many of his sayings. So liven up your daily learning experiences by taking a cue from the master himself. Find your own outrageous (but safe) way to shoot that needed information into your brain.

Design Your Own Carry-a-Cat-by-the-Tail Learning Experience

·         Where in your life do you need to step in and gain first-hand experience?

·         What outlandish image, story or experience can you create to make the learning experience more relevant, meaningful and fun?

P.S. No animals were harmed in the process of writing this post!



Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

Cherish is the word I use to describe

all the feelings that I have for you deep inside.

A tribute to all of our dear mothers,

present or passed.

There is no bond more important than

the bond between mother and child.

Hold a place in your heart to

cherish the relationship with your mother.

Keep her close to your heart year round.

Mothers, cherish your children,

and let them know how deeply they are loved

every day of the year.

To send this Mother's Day Card on, click m below to email.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Get Better Sleep with Sweet Dreams Bedtime Routine

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond the winning.  Lao Tzu

 
Let it all Go

 Is insomnia--or the inability to get and stay asleep--disrupting your ability to stay focused and productive at work? Are you having difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or both?  Give this sweet dreams bedtime routine a try.

Insomnia is a common sleep disorder affecting workers juggling tight deadlines and stressing over job security. In this chicken and egg situation, work stress and worry can prevent you from getting enough quality sleep, and poor quality sleep can prevent you from being focused and productive at work.

A Poor Night Sleep

·         Makes you drowsy and ineffective at work

·         Affects your memory and ability to learn

·         Makes it difficult to think clearly

A Good Night Sleep

·         Gives you a better outlook on the day

·         Refreshes you

·         Keeps you alert and engaged

Sweet Dreams Bedtime Routine

If work worries and pressures are disrupting your ability to wind down and gain restful sleep use this sweet dreams bedtime routine to ease you out of high drive.

·         Turn off computer. The physical act of shutting down your computer signals your mind to shut off too.

·         Turn down lights. Your body takes cues from the environment. Dimming lights signals your body it's time to wind down.

·         Take warm bath or shower. The warmth of the water relaxes your muscles.

·         Turn on soothing music. Lie down in bed with your eyes closed listening to the music. Focus on your breathing--breathe slowly and deeply for 15 minutes—inhale for four counts, and exhale for eight—timing your breaths to the music. Sleep.

Sweet Dreams!

'To sleep, perchance to dream.' Shakespeare

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Life Knock You a Blow? Three Timeless Tips for Starting Over

 

 

No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. The Buddha

 

What's happening in your life right now?

• Do you feel like you've dodged a bullet when you see what other people are dealing with yet you're still fearful about your future?
• Have you faced so many hardships and challenges you're left feeling hopeless and discouraged about ever finding your way back to a normal life?
• Are you tired of thinking about your current situation and just wish someone would do something about it?

How to Start Over

 

When things get really tough it can be difficult to see your way out. Here are 3 timeless tips to starting over and getting unstuck after having your life disrupted by economic hardship, natural disaster, or personal crises.

 

1. Take the First Step

Not much has changed in the thousands of years humans have been facing and recovering from the hardships of life. As Lao Tzu stated so long ago, 'a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step'.

 

We fuel our inner strength and sense of resiliency by taking action. But sometimes when faced with 'a journey of a thousand miles' we can be overwhelmed with the daunting task of where to begin. What is the first step?

 

The good news is any first step will do. Your hope, resiliency, and personal strength will grow stronger with every step you take. It doesn't matter what the first step is. As you experience yourself being pro-active and physically taking action, your ability to cope and hope will improve. So start with a single step--any step-- and then another.

 

2. Take Small Steps

As an old Chinese Proverb says, 'The man who moved a mountain is the one who started taking away the small stones'. When you're in total overwhelm mode, start 'taking away the small stones'--one small step, then another.

 

3. Build a Nest in the Eye of the Storm

 

As Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, traveled on her life adventure, change and uncertainty were a way of life. Her grandmother--a major influence in Margaret's life-- sent her on her journey with the sage advice to 'Always build a nest in the eye of the storm'.

 

This grandmotherly wisdom has had a strong influence in my own life. Whenever major life events cause upheaval in my life, my mind returns to this saying, and I think how important it is to apply to my own life.

 

One thing I know--when you're in the middle of a crisis, the hardest thing is to think of taking care of yourself. You can forget to nourish your body, push your body to the limits with lack of sleep, and remain in a constant state of emotional overload. If you can allow yourself to focus on building a nest in the eye of the storm, you can begin to create a cushion to rest and space for thinking.

 

But what does it mean to build a nest in the eye of the storm? When life is swirling around you like a hurricane--you find a way to create a home-base of comfort-- or nest-- from which you can rebuild your daily existence.

 

Start with the basics to nourish your body and rest your nerves. Your body likes a regular rhythm that includes regular heart beats, breaths, sleep patterns, eating times, moving times, and rest time.

 

Start by getting your natural rhythms back in place. Eat regular, well-balanced meals that nourish you. Pace yourself--put a time limit on dealing with your difficulties--and take regular rest breaks. Go to bed early. If you're caring for others, take care of yourself first, so you have the strength and endurance to continue to help others.

 

We all do our best thinking and acting when we do it in a place of safety and security. The key is to find a way to create your nest---no matter what storm is brewing. It may not be easy, but it is essential.

 

Life is a cycle, always in motion; if good times have moved on, so will times of trouble! Indian Proverb


 Sign Up for Free E-mail updates
 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

 Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

 

Mothers, Herding Cats, and Laughter

'Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.'  William James

 Mothers--Chief Cat Herders

My mother used to say she raised 'all Chiefs and no Indians', when referring to her tribe of six independent children. I'd say she was the family's Chief Cat Herder.

This very proper, self-described 'fifth generation Washingtonian' from the District of Columbia raised six California wild cats while keeping a clean house--and most importantly--her sense of humor. My son related to my mother's good humor by saying 'I'm from your side of the family---the enjoying side of the family'.

Thanks to my mother, I learned to deal with life and strife with a sense of humor.

Laughter IS the Best Medicine

My mother--or Moo--as we called her--would often say 'laughter is the best medicine', and she'd demonstrate the truth of that belief daily as she sought to find the humor in situations and respond to trying life situations with good hearted laughter. I am so grateful to have learned the importance of keeping my sense of humor no matter what the situation from her.

I still remember the night my father was out of town on business one beautiful summer evening when my siblings and I stayed out late playing kick-the-can in the neighborhood. Our mother called and called us to come home but not one of us answered.

When we finally dragged our tails home she was hopping mad and promised a spanking for us all. As she herded us into the back bedroom to carry out the punishment, children wandered this way and that into other bedrooms and bathrooms on their way to their predictable single swat on the rear end.

Finally herding us into one room she lined us up by age to spank us in order from oldest to youngest. My oldest sister, Jean, got the first swat on the behind, followed by my brother, John. My mother burst out laughing as soon as her hand connecting with his rear made a metallic pinging noise . On his way to his swat-on-the-behind my brother had stopped at the sewing machine to grab the metal lid off the sewing tin so he could stuff it in his pants to thwart the whack. My mother's surprised laughter relieved the tension of the moment--and the rest of us got off scott-free.

Cat Herders Must have a Sense of Humor

Moo taught us the keys to herding cats:

• Don't try to control them--find ways to catch their attention instead.
• Love and support their independence and individuality. 
• Enjoy and respect them.
• Keep your sense of humor.

So many times as an adult I have viewed my experience of working to bring together a group of independent people all going their separate ways as herding cats. This always makes the task easier. No matter how frustrated I am by the current herding experience, the minute I picture myself herding cats it puts a smile on my face and lets me relax into the experience. I know that to accomplish the impossible task of cat herding the key is to accept and respect the individuals for who they are and to find a way to enjoy the challenge of engaging their attention.

Someone sent me this YouTube video Cowboys Herding Cats and the first time I watched it I split a gut laughing. It really gives you a visual for the metaphor of herding cats.

If you, too,  find yourself playing the role of Chief Cat Herder--attempting to corral a group of people all going their separate ways at work or at home--give yourself something to laugh about. View this 1 minute video now and save it  to view later to relieve your frustration. As my mother always said, laughter and keeping your sense of humor is the best medicine!


'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.' Unknown



Sign Up for Free E-mail updates
If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.