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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Developing Trust and Connecting with Others

'I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'  Maya Angelou

How High is Your 'Hello Factor'?

Go ahead--run an experiment—starting right now, consciously greet and acknowledge each and every person who crosses your path for the next 24 hours. Notice--as you increase your 'Hello Factor' does your 'Happiness Factor' increase?

Hello ~ Bonjour ~ Hola ~ Ciao ~ Hey There

"Good morning!"
"Have a nice day."
"Nice chatting."
"Good to meet you."
"Love you."
"Be well."
"Peace be with you."

Greeting another when your paths cross is such a simple social grace. It takes no time to look another in the eye, smile, and offer a simple greeting--and it does so much to ground you and improve your connection with others.

On the other hand, when you fail to acknowledge and greet people--whether co-worker, family, or stranger—you leave the others feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked. As a result you end up feeling disconnected and isolated yourself.

When you fail to acknowledge and greet people you leave them feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked.

To Feel Connected Make Others Feel Welcome

We all do our best work, bring our best discussions and enjoy connecting with the people around us when we feel welcome and appreciated.

No matter what the situation, we all want to feel others are happy to be with us. From our first day of work to our last, we want to feel welcome and included in the workplace. When we join online discussions, family gatherings, or social groups we want to feel like a welcome addition.

The art of making people feel welcome is simple. In all situations convey the four messages all people want to hear:

The Four Messages All People Want to Hear

I'm glad I'm here.
I'm glad you're here.
I care about you.
I know that I know.

You don't have to actually say those words--you need to convey the four welcoming messages through your actions. The simple social nicety of greeting people is a great first step. When you convey these four messages to the people you interact with you'll discover you connect with people faster--and your own happiness factor will rise.

Check it out: Are You Connecting?

  • How do you make the people around you feel? When you're comfortable with yourself others feel comfortable with you. Be other conscious, not self-conscious. Reach out to others with a kind comment and smile.
  • Do you practice the art of making others feel welcome and connected? Or are you so concerned about making an impression, getting your work done, and finding the next opportunity that you can't be bothered with how you make others feel? The key to connecting with others is to make them feel you have all the time in the world for them in a few short moments of greetings.

‎"A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at home." Anon

Thank you to Kim Miller for this quote.

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Tracy said...

Great post! I love the idea of other conscious as opposed to self conscious. Something I learned from you at my very first training at UCLA CHE. What do you mean by I know that I know? Hugs, Tracy

Molly said...

Thank you for this one, Sue--all beautiful, and so true. Love YOU!

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Hello out there, Tracy! Ha Ha...I always choose to leave the explanation of 'I know that I know' until someone asks what it means. If you thought about it--you really know it's meaning.

Although many would like to change it to 'I know what I know' that isn't it!

I know that I know conveys your sense of confidence that you are comfortable in yourself. You KNOW that you know....even if what you know that you know is what you don't know. You are still confident you ability to deal with whatever comes up.

Love you!


Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Molly-girl! Love you right back!

Sending Hugs and Kisses!


Jean said...

Susan, this is such an important post. We all have days when we have so much to do that we might forget to just be civil. I always make it a point to stand up and greet whoever walks into the room, whether in my home or someone else's. Everyone deserves a warm welcome.

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Jean--it's all about civility, isn't it? this is right up your alley--comfort food and kindness!


Tracy said...

I know that I know so I can listen to you? I like it. So you start with a welcome and an open mind and heart but then where do you go? How do you trust a boss who keeps stepping in or a coworker who keeps stepping over and why am I so territorial anyway? I need a little more lab and a little less shepherd I suppose :).

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Tracy in your scenario, I know that I know...may also mean I'm glad I'm here, I'm glad you're here, I care about you...and I know I need to set boundaries for my time. For me to provide the best service I need time to concentrate. It is about balance--you care about yourself too.

You can convey you care about the other person at the same time you convey you need to say good bye so you can meet a deadline.