Developing Trust and Connecting with Others

'I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'  Maya Angelou

How High is Your 'Hello Factor'?

Go ahead--run an experiment—starting right now, consciously greet and acknowledge each and every person who crosses your path for the next 24 hours. Notice--as you increase your 'Hello Factor' does your 'Happiness Factor' increase?

Hello ~ Bonjour ~ Hola ~ Ciao ~ Hey There

"Good morning!"
"Have a nice day."

"Nice chatting."
"Good to meet you."
"Love you."
"Be well."
"Peace be with you."

Greeting another when your paths cross is such a simple social grace. It takes no time to look another in the eye, smile, and offer a simple greeting--and it does so much to ground you and improve your connection with others.

On the other hand, when you fail to acknowledge and greet people--whether co-worker, family, or stranger—you leave the others feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked. As a result you end up feeling disconnected and isolated yourself.

When you fail to acknowledge and greet people you leave them feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked.

To Feel Connected Make Others Feel Welcome

We all do our best work, bring our best discussions and enjoy connecting with the people around us when we feel welcome and appreciated.

No matter what the situation, we all want to feel others are happy to be with us. From our first day of work to our last, we want to feel welcome and included in the workplace. When we join online discussions, family gatherings, or social groups we want to feel like a welcome addition.

The art of making people feel welcome is simple. In all situations convey the four messages all people want to hear:

The Four Messages All People Want to Hear

I'm glad I'm here.
I'm glad you're here.
I care about you.
I know that I know.

You don't have to actually say those words--you need to convey the four welcoming messages through your actions. The simple social nicety of greeting people is a great first step. When you convey these four messages to the people you interact with you'll discover you connect with people faster--and your own happiness factor will rise.

Check it out: Are You Connecting?

• How do you make the people around you feel? When you're comfortable with yourself others feel comfortable with you. Be other conscious, not self-conscious. Reach out to others with a kind comment and smile.
• Do you practice the art of making others feel welcome and connected? Or are you so concerned about making an impression, getting your work done, and finding the next opportunity that you can't be bothered with how you make others feel? The key to connecting with others is to make them feel you have all the time in the world for them in a few short moments of greetings.

‎"A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at home." Anon

Thank you to Kim Miller for this quote.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Staying Positive During Life Transitions

'The best way to live is to be, simply be.'  Yogi Bhajan

Unsettling Times of Transition

Are you finding it difficult to stay positive in today's crazy world of work?

Sure, the economy is slowly recovering, but it still has its ups and downs. You may find yourself in the middle of either making a transition or thinking about making a transition in your career.

But with all the uncertainty about the future, you may be left feeling lethargic, unsettled, and unmotivated to take the next step.

Perhaps you're:

• Unemployed and still without a job after months of searching;
• Employed, but in a job you hate and feel compelled to keep, even though you fear you may be next on the chopping block;
• An independent business owner whose business is failing in the current economy, but you lack the energy to develop a new business plan.
• A recent college graduate worried about finding the right job to launch your career.

Change from Future Tense to Present Ease


 No matter who you are, or what your work situation is, when you're in the middle of a transition it's always unsettling--leading you to freeze up, and become frozen in inactivity and inertia.

 What makes you tense is your focus on the future. You fear what won't happen that you want to have happen, or you fear what will happen that you don't want to happen.

 When you feel overwhelmed and stuck in 'future tense', it's time to stop, take a breath, and ease back into the present. Get off the worry track. Take a day off from thinking about 'your situation', and engage in activities that let you know you are glad to be alive.

'The best day—Going to bed with a dream, waking up with a purpose.' Exceptional Living

Be--Just Be

Tough times require, well, sometimes, sitting back, doing nothing, and thinking about something else.

 Sometimes we just need to stop to remember--life is to be enjoyed. Instead of letting your life be determined by fear and worry, focus on putting memorable activities into your life each day.

 To stay positive during times of transition, find a way to do something of great personal importance each day so you can 'write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year'.

 What Gives Your Life Meaning?

What is one activity of great personal importance you could engage in today that would let you write on your heart 'today is the best day of the year'?

Don't think about it--do it.

'And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.'  Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

  

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Mark Twain Makes Learning Easy

'A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.' Mark Twain

Carrying a Cat by the Tail

Mark Twain can evoke an image like no other and bring it home to rest. Today's Twain-ism elicited a full out belly laugh in me, swiftly followed by the image of carrying a cat by the tail searing into my brain.

While I've never actually carried a cat by its tail, I know exactly what it means ---and you do too.

The Shocking Truth

We often choose our learning lessons, by bucking the wise counsel of others or our own better judgment. Sometimes we just have to step in and experience that wild ride for ourselves. We suspect what we're about to do is not a good idea, but we're going with it any way.

As a kid growing up surrounded by cow pastures and orchards, I spent a lot of time running around with neighborhood kids exploring the world around us. One day a pack of us decided it would be fun to touch an electric fence with all of us holding hands just to see what would happen. The person at the front of the line touched the fence with a single piece of wet grass and that current whipped through our bodies, zapping us with a wallop.

Did I suspect it was a bad idea? Yep. Did I do it anyway? Yep. Did I do it again? Nope. Like carrying a cat by the tail, I learned first-hand why that wasn't such a good idea--and I've never forgotten the experience.

Up Close and Personal Experiences--and a Good Story

But not all 'carrying a cat by the tail' experiences go against our good judgment. They're just great up close and personal experiences, like my shocking experience, that pack their own wallop--meaningful, relevant, interesting and fun.

A full 75% of the population in the United States learns best through experience. And the other 25% of us who just imagine and learn? We, too, benefit greatly through hands-on, interactive learning. Nothing gets something into our memory and enhances our learning like hands-on, cat-by-the-tail experience--and a good story.

Don't expect to just read that instruction manual and expect to retain the contents. It's boring. Do something with the information instead--something interactive--it'll stick better. And if the way you interact with the information creates a great, outlandish image or story, it's all the better for helping you remember the details.

Mark Twain was the master of outlandish. And that's why we remember so many of his sayings. So liven up your daily learning experiences by taking a cue from the master himself. Find your own outrageous (but safe) way to shoot that needed information into your brain.

Design Your Own Carry-a-Cat-by-the-Tail Learning Experience

·         Where in your life do you need to step in and gain first-hand experience?

·         What outlandish image, story or experience can you create to make the learning experience more relevant, meaningful and fun?

P.S. No animals were harmed in the process of writing this post!



Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

Cherish is the word I use to describe

all the feelings that I have for you deep inside.

A tribute to all of our dear mothers,

present or passed.

There is no bond more important than

the bond between mother and child.

Hold a place in your heart to

cherish the relationship with your mother.

Keep her close to your heart year round.

Mothers, cherish your children,

and let them know how deeply they are loved

every day of the year.

To send this Mother's Day Card on, click m below to email.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Get Better Sleep with Sweet Dreams Bedtime Routine

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond the winning.  Lao Tzu

 
Let it all Go

 Is insomnia--or the inability to get and stay asleep--disrupting your ability to stay focused and productive at work? Are you having difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or both?  Give this sweet dreams bedtime routine a try.

Insomnia is a common sleep disorder affecting workers juggling tight deadlines and stressing over job security. In this chicken and egg situation, work stress and worry can prevent you from getting enough quality sleep, and poor quality sleep can prevent you from being focused and productive at work.

A Poor Night Sleep

·         Makes you drowsy and ineffective at work

·         Affects your memory and ability to learn

·         Makes it difficult to think clearly

A Good Night Sleep

·         Gives you a better outlook on the day

·         Refreshes you

·         Keeps you alert and engaged

Sweet Dreams Bedtime Routine

If work worries and pressures are disrupting your ability to wind down and gain restful sleep use this sweet dreams bedtime routine to ease you out of high drive.

·         Turn off computer. The physical act of shutting down your computer signals your mind to shut off too.

·         Turn down lights. Your body takes cues from the environment. Dimming lights signals your body it's time to wind down.

·         Take warm bath or shower. The warmth of the water relaxes your muscles.

·         Turn on soothing music. Lie down in bed with your eyes closed listening to the music. Focus on your breathing--breathe slowly and deeply for 15 minutes—inhale for four counts, and exhale for eight—timing your breaths to the music. Sleep.

Sweet Dreams!

'To sleep, perchance to dream.' Shakespeare

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Life Knock You a Blow? Three Timeless Tips for Starting Over

 

 

No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. The Buddha

 

What's happening in your life right now?

• Do you feel like you've dodged a bullet when you see what other people are dealing with yet you're still fearful about your future?
• Have you faced so many hardships and challenges you're left feeling hopeless and discouraged about ever finding your way back to a normal life?
• Are you tired of thinking about your current situation and just wish someone would do something about it?

How to Start Over

 

When things get really tough it can be difficult to see your way out. Here are 3 timeless tips to starting over and getting unstuck after having your life disrupted by economic hardship, natural disaster, or personal crises.

 

1. Take the First Step

Not much has changed in the thousands of years humans have been facing and recovering from the hardships of life. As Lao Tzu stated so long ago, 'a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step'.

 

We fuel our inner strength and sense of resiliency by taking action. But sometimes when faced with 'a journey of a thousand miles' we can be overwhelmed with the daunting task of where to begin. What is the first step?

 

The good news is any first step will do. Your hope, resiliency, and personal strength will grow stronger with every step you take. It doesn't matter what the first step is. As you experience yourself being pro-active and physically taking action, your ability to cope and hope will improve. So start with a single step--any step-- and then another.

 

2. Take Small Steps

As an old Chinese Proverb says, 'The man who moved a mountain is the one who started taking away the small stones'. When you're in total overwhelm mode, start 'taking away the small stones'--one small step, then another.

 

3. Build a Nest in the Eye of the Storm

 

As Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, traveled on her life adventure, change and uncertainty were a way of life. Her grandmother--a major influence in Margaret's life-- sent her on her journey with the sage advice to 'Always build a nest in the eye of the storm'.

 

This grandmotherly wisdom has had a strong influence in my own life. Whenever major life events cause upheaval in my life, my mind returns to this saying, and I think how important it is to apply to my own life.

 

One thing I know--when you're in the middle of a crisis, the hardest thing is to think of taking care of yourself. You can forget to nourish your body, push your body to the limits with lack of sleep, and remain in a constant state of emotional overload. If you can allow yourself to focus on building a nest in the eye of the storm, you can begin to create a cushion to rest and space for thinking.

 

But what does it mean to build a nest in the eye of the storm? When life is swirling around you like a hurricane--you find a way to create a home-base of comfort-- or nest-- from which you can rebuild your daily existence.

 

Start with the basics to nourish your body and rest your nerves. Your body likes a regular rhythm that includes regular heart beats, breaths, sleep patterns, eating times, moving times, and rest time.

 

Start by getting your natural rhythms back in place. Eat regular, well-balanced meals that nourish you. Pace yourself--put a time limit on dealing with your difficulties--and take regular rest breaks. Go to bed early. If you're caring for others, take care of yourself first, so you have the strength and endurance to continue to help others.

 

We all do our best thinking and acting when we do it in a place of safety and security. The key is to find a way to create your nest---no matter what storm is brewing. It may not be easy, but it is essential.

 

Life is a cycle, always in motion; if good times have moved on, so will times of trouble! Indian Proverb


 Sign Up for Free E-mail updates
 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

 Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

 

Mothers, Herding Cats, and Laughter

'Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.'  William James

 Mothers--Chief Cat Herders

My mother used to say she raised 'all Chiefs and no Indians', when referring to her tribe of six independent children. I'd say she was the family's Chief Cat Herder.

This very proper, self-described 'fifth generation Washingtonian' from the District of Columbia raised six California wild cats while keeping a clean house--and most importantly--her sense of humor. My son related to my mother's good humor by saying 'I'm from your side of the family---the enjoying side of the family'.

Thanks to my mother, I learned to deal with life and strife with a sense of humor.

Laughter IS the Best Medicine

My mother--or Moo--as we called her--would often say 'laughter is the best medicine', and she'd demonstrate the truth of that belief daily as she sought to find the humor in situations and respond to trying life situations with good hearted laughter. I am so grateful to have learned the importance of keeping my sense of humor no matter what the situation from her.

I still remember the night my father was out of town on business one beautiful summer evening when my siblings and I stayed out late playing kick-the-can in the neighborhood. Our mother called and called us to come home but not one of us answered.

When we finally dragged our tails home she was hopping mad and promised a spanking for us all. As she herded us into the back bedroom to carry out the punishment, children wandered this way and that into other bedrooms and bathrooms on their way to their predictable single swat on the rear end.

Finally herding us into one room she lined us up by age to spank us in order from oldest to youngest. My oldest sister, Jean, got the first swat on the behind, followed by my brother, John. My mother burst out laughing as soon as her hand connecting with his rear made a metallic pinging noise . On his way to his swat-on-the-behind my brother had stopped at the sewing machine to grab the metal lid off the sewing tin so he could stuff it in his pants to thwart the whack. My mother's surprised laughter relieved the tension of the moment--and the rest of us got off scott-free.

Cat Herders Must have a Sense of Humor

Moo taught us the keys to herding cats:

• Don't try to control them--find ways to catch their attention instead.
• Love and support their independence and individuality. 
• Enjoy and respect them.
• Keep your sense of humor.

So many times as an adult I have viewed my experience of working to bring together a group of independent people all going their separate ways as herding cats. This always makes the task easier. No matter how frustrated I am by the current herding experience, the minute I picture myself herding cats it puts a smile on my face and lets me relax into the experience. I know that to accomplish the impossible task of cat herding the key is to accept and respect the individuals for who they are and to find a way to enjoy the challenge of engaging their attention.

Someone sent me this YouTube video Cowboys Herding Cats and the first time I watched it I split a gut laughing. It really gives you a visual for the metaphor of herding cats.

If you, too,  find yourself playing the role of Chief Cat Herder--attempting to corral a group of people all going their separate ways at work or at home--give yourself something to laugh about. View this 1 minute video now and save it  to view later to relieve your frustration. As my mother always said, laughter and keeping your sense of humor is the best medicine!


'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.' Unknown



Sign Up for Free E-mail updates
If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

 

You are not the mistakes you have made; You are the lessons you have learned says Chris Cook

 'Experience is the toughest teacher because she gives the test first, and then the lesson.' Unknown 


Good Enough to Steal

When I read Chris Cook's  blog post-- 'You are not the mistakes you have made; You are the lessons you have learned'-- I wanted to steal it.  I know, not very ethical--but there you have it--the truth. This short post on her website, Capiche, is brilliant and simple.

Don't Steal it--Apply it

Okay, so to to help me stay in integrity and also give you something to think about I am providing you a link to Capiche so you can learn about the four stages of learning any new skill. Take a peek, think about it, and apply it.

Chris Cook, currently training to be a certified coach at the Coaches Training Institute, specializes in the science of happiness,and promotes the development of psychological capital to help individuals and businesses achieve their potential.





'What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us.'  Ralph Waldo Emerson



Sign Up for Free E-mail updates
 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.



Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.



Are You a Bore? Three Tips to Lead More Effective Meetings

'Never miss a good chance to shut up.'  Will Rogers

Tired of standing in front of Monday morning meetings sounding like the teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off ? "Beuller? Beuller? Beuller? Anyone?" If you're leading meetings people can't wait to get out of, use these trainer tips to turn your meetings into lively and engaging discussion groups that promote team work and produce employees fully-invested in the discussions.

Stop Talking. Do you think you control the meeting and message by doing all the talking yourself? Not true. When you’re the only one talking you're the only one listening. While you're enjoying the sound of your own voice, everyone else is entertaining themselves doodling, making lists of what to get at the store, and passing notes. All they hear you say is "blah, blah, blah, blah….any questions?" To gain control, you must give it up—starting with the need to hear yourself speak.

Start Listening. If you really want to get something done, redefine meetings as a place where you listen while everyone else interacts. Set up the discussion then shut up. Nothing makes you look more brilliant to others than when you artfully set up meetings so everyone is actively engaged in presenting their ideas.

Make it easy to speak up. Even the most outgoing professional may be reluctant to speak up in a large meeting--especially if put on the spot. To make it easy for attendees to fully participate, break the larger group into discussion pairs. Give people five minutes to discuss an issue in duos before asking them to engage in a large group discussion. Ask for volunteers to speak up and share what they think when you reconvene. You may be surprised by the free flow of ideas. When people are engaged in their own discovery process, the meeting is never boring.

 'If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.'  Will Rogers

 Make it easy for colleagues to want to attend your meetings

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Great Job Opportunity? Don't Let Fear and Self-Doubt Stop You from Applying

'People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.'   Eleanor Roosevelt

Why Waste Your Time?

Sure, you'd like that job. But you viewed the job posting and you're sure there's an insider who's already a shoo-in. Why waste your time targeting your resume and cover letter when you won't get an interview? Don't. Send a speed application instead. Here's a look at what speed applications are and why you should send one when you believe it's not worth the effort.

'Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.'  Ambrose Redmoon

Speed Applications

A speed application is a process that takes less than an hour to complete. You shut off your I-won't-get-an-interview thinking and apply. Use your good-to-go resume or LinkedIn profile, and take a couple of attention-grabbing phrases from the job posting that best describe you for your cover letter and submit it.

Why bother sending an application when you know it won't do any good? Isn't it a waste of time? No. Think of it as an investment in your self-confidence and ability to take action despite perceived obstacles.

When you apply when you really believe it’s a waste of time:

·         You step over belief barriers. You may be right or wrong about your chances of getting an interview. But recognize your failure to apply for the job is due to your beliefs, not facts. When you apply anyway, you step past your belief barriers to let the truth emerge.

·         You stay in an action mode. If the worst that can happen is you don't get the job, submit a speed application. The more you experience yourself stepping over belief barriers and taking action, the more confidence you'll develop in your abilities.

Practice submitting one speed application a week

'To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream. Not only plan but also believe.'  Anatole France

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Open Your Heart to Your Blessings--Louie Schwartzberg on Gratitude

Moving Art by Louie Schwartzberg

My friends send me the best stuff. And like today's TED talk by Louie Schwarzberg on Gratitude, I am compelled to share these gifts with you. Thank you to Molly Erwin for passing this on.

Enjoy your ten minutes of bliss in Gratitude. Share it with others.

Open Your Heart to Your Blessings

Open Your Eyes

Let the Gratefulness Overflow into Blessings

Click on link to view Gratitude
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&vq=medium

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Work for a Blood-Sucking, Self-Centered Boss? Three Tips for Keeping Your Job (if you must)

Now that's what I call a Narcissist! 

Baby mosquito came back after his first time flying. His father asked him "How do you feel?" He replied "It was wonderful! Everyone was clapping for me!" Tahir

Do You Work for a Blood-Sucking, Self-Centered Boss?

Do you work for a self-centered boss with no interest in your advancement? Have you been quieted with icy stares when attempting to offer suggestions? You may be working for a narcissist. While putting a name to what you're experiencing with your boss won't make it easier to deal with him, it can help you decide if you want to keep working together. Take this quiz to find out.

Is Your Boss a Narcissist?

• Does your boss need constant attention and admiration? 
• Does s/he show a disregard for the feelings of others? 
• Is it risky to challenge or correct your boss? 
• Does s/he react to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation?

If your answer is yes to these questions--you're probably dealing with a narcissist--a person with an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with herself. This boss doesn't care about your success, only about flying around maintaining her own inflated self-image.

If you are a passionate professional who believes in giving 100% to work for the good of the organization it can be devastating working for a narcissist. Narcissists have little ability to feel empathy for others. They don't care about your great ideas that could revolutionize the industry. Their obsessive self-interest keeps them pursuing mainly selfish goals--sometimes contrary to the good of the organization. And that's what's so crazy-making about working with them.

If you desire to shine and make your mark on the world, Kathy Caprino, a national women's career and executive coach says find a better boss to support your aspirations to make the world a better place. Get out if you can.

According to Caprino, "You will not succeed under a narcissist unless you’re great at lying, manipulating, and kissing up, nor will you be able to carve out a satisfying and rewarding professional life if you’re being led by a narcissist."

Click here to view full article on Forbes

What to Do When You Absolutely Must Keep Your Job

Life isn't always fair. Sometimes you desperately need your job, but your blood-sucking boss is a tyrant who makes you feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells. What can you do to stay employed if your boss is a true narcissist—whose self-interest, inflated sense of self-importance and extreme preoccupation with himself leaves you uncertain about how to best get the job done?

When you absolutely must keep your job, follow these three rules for working with a narcissist.

Never outshine the narcissist. You may be the one coming up with great ideas, bringing in clients or completing projects. But the inflated ego of the narcissist demands to be fed at all times. He needs to hear 'everybody clapping for him'. Publically attribute successes to your boss--and always thank him for helping you succeed. Don't even think about taking credit if you must keep your job. Let the boss shine while you remain in the shadows.

Follow their rules. Narcissists believe rules don't apply to them—only to you. Want to keep your job? Do what they say, not what they do. Never point out their failure to live by the rules they set.

Never challenge or disagree with your boss. This isn't about what's fair or easy—it's about keeping your job. If you disagree with your boss, keep it to yourself. A narcissist's ego does not allow for dissention. Challenge this boss's decision and you earn yourself a swift boot out the door. When you absolutely must keep your job--keep your mouth shut, your head down—and stay under the radar.

A Cautionary Tale

'When Snake is alive, Snake eats Ants. When Snake is dead, Ants eat Snake. Time can turn at any time. Don't neglect anyone in your life.' Tahir

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free subscription.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends. 

Comfort Food and Fractal Cauliflower

'Never order food in excess of your body weight.' Erma Bombeck

Fun Fractal Cauliflower--and an Introduction to Delightful Repast

What do you think of that natural 'fractal' cauliflower design? I'm amazed by the geometrically repeating pattern of this cauliflower and love to consume one small section at a time. It makes me feel good to eat it, as I savor each tiny section. You just know this exquisitely designed cruciferous vegetable tastes better.

I love food. Food is fun, comforting and life-enhancing--and that is what Jean at Delightful Repast is all about--life enhancing, beautifully prepared and presented comfort food shared with family and friends. Jean reminds me of my proper, but fun-loving mother, with her interest in history, family, and wholesome foods.

I was properly introduced to Jean and her tasty blog through my Life-Enhancing blog cohort, Grant Soosalu. Jean serves up a bit of history, beautifully presented dishes and weekly recipes made with fresh, wholesome ingredients. I am compelled to try many of the recipes Jean serves up--they look and sound so good--and the dishes have received rave reviews from my husband.

Today I am properly introducing you to Jean and Delightful Repast through one of Grant's posts highlighting Jean. If you like good food, take a look at Food for Thought--Delightful Repast, to learn about Jean's philosophy on food, then check out Delightful Repast for recipes.

'If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold,

 it would be a merrier world.'  J.R.R. Tolkien

Compassion, Creativity and Courage--The Core Competencies of Our Multiple Brains

One who conquers himself is greater than another who conquers a thousand times a thousand on the battlefield. — Buddha

The Inner Workings of Your Brain

Grant Soosalu is a friend I've never met. He lives in Australia and I in the US--but I knew this was someone I liked the minute I stumbled onto his blog, Life Enhancing. This was someone I wanted to see into the inner workings of his brain. And now he's done me one better. He, along with his good friend and colleague, Marvin Oka, a top NLP trainer, have written a book that lets us see into the inner workings of our own brains!

mBraining--Using Your Multiple Brains to do Cool Stuff provides us with a suite of tools and techniques for communicating with, integrating and harnessing the power of our multiple brains--our head, heart and gut brains.

The 3 C's: Compassion, Creativity and Courage

What drew me to Grant's writing was we shared an interest in the three C's--Compassion, Creativity and Courage. It just so happens that the three C's are the 'highest expression' of the core competencies of our three brains.

"In developing mBit, what we discovered in essence, is that each of your brains has a series of core competencies and that in particular each brain has a competency that is its 'highest expression'. What's more, the three brains, when operating via these competencies, produce synergistic effects and bring greater wisdom to decision making, relationships and life. The highest expressions are Compassion (heart), Creativity (head) and Courage (gut). When all three work together they produce amazing results!"         Grant Soosalu and Marvin Oka

If you have an interest in harnessing the power of your multiple brains to do cool stuff--take a peek at  Using Your Multiple Brains to do Cool Stuff on Amazon. The authors utilize the powerful and practical methodologies of NLP, Cognitive Linguistics and Behavioral Modeling to synthesize a remarkably wide range of research findings into an integrated approach that is practical, potent, and immediate in its results.

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. — Lao-tzu

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you are interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.