Tuesday, April 7, 2020

How to Avoid Killing each other while Sheltering in Place~One Cool Cat's Advice



How to Avoid Sharpening Your Claws on each other while Sheltering in Place

Today I thought a little advice from Brownie the Cat was in order. Before Brownie left this earth, he gifted us his playbook for harmonious living--and is now keeping a watchful eye on us. Here he provides tips on how to share space with others without sharpening your claws on each other.

Lately, thought Brownie, I see the humans are restless. While they appear to be complying with the Shelter in Place order, they're mewling their nerves are fraying and they're hissing at others more. What advice do I have for humans sheltering at home with others who are getting spitting mad at each other?

First of all, as your home stays may last a while, it behooves you to figure out how to change your outlook to make your abode a sanctuary of comfort and harmony if you're to survive without too much tail swishing, hissing, howling, growling and cat fighting. 



Stop Struggling--Accept What IS

"Stop Struggling" says Brownie. "I sheltered at home for years with three other cats and a human. I quickly learned to accept 'what is' and to 'sleep on it' whenever tensions arose."

Accept that within you there is a stillness--and choose to find that stillness at the beginning of the day and at the end. Be gentle with yourself and with others. 

Gentle and calming silence can serve as a pressure value returning you to serenity. When you notice your tension rising retreat inside yourself. If needed you can always hide under the bed.



Use Purr Therapy, Says Brownie

Purring and humming has been shown to calm beings. Practice creating space within you with gentle purring. If you can't do this yourself, get a cat.

When you start getting your back up over things your housemates have done, let it go. Quickly return your attention to self-calming activities by purring while humming in your head 'That was Zen and This is Meow'. 



Create What Must Be~Purr More; Hiss Less 

To endure closed space with others for long periods of time you need to Purrrrge yourself of anger and irritation. Forgive and forget your own and other's transgressions daily. Stop and start over.

It won't serve you to get your back up and hold on to annoyance and irritation with your housemates. It'll just put your back out and make your throat sore from all that hissing and growling.

Create what must be for you to better enjoy your time at home. Take charge of your thoughts and actions to create the home environment you desire.

Purr-haps kindness is the way to go. You humans say 'plant kindness, harvest love'. Try starting your day with acts of kindness towards others. Lead with love and a heart filled with compassion. Purr more; Hiss less.

If you want a serene home, choose to create what must be. If that's too much trouble, you can always hide under the bed for the duration of your home stay.



Practicing the PAWS

When others get in your space, try flattening your ears while swishing your tail  to get others to back off. Then practice the paws by retreating, purr-haps under the bed, to give yourself time to calm down before lashing out.

Pause, and put time and distance between you before you speak or act. This is one of those times sleeping on it  or taking time out for a little paw washing really helps. Alternatively, lift your hind leg in the direction of the other and calmly and meticulously clean your bottom.

Of course, if others just aren't good at reading the subtleties of your tail swish and passive retreat, you may want to pull out your claws, lower your ears further, and assume the back up position while letting out a loud HISSSSSS. This bold display of displeasure often does the trick and makes others make a hasty retreat.



Stop Suffering this Very Moment

Stop fighting your fate and your suffering will end. You have within you everything you need to create the environment you want as you shelter in place. Don't dwell on things you can't do anything about. And act on what you do know to do--or not to do--starting by giving each other space.

If the other cat is the one who's feeling annoyed, resist the urge to poke her.  Give her space. Don't insist on petting and consoling her when she clearly wants to be left alone. If you insist on ignoring all the signals to back off--no matter how good your intentions--your suffering will continue and you should expect the claws to come out. Apply the good sense you have. Everyone needs space.

Pull down your playbooks off your upper shelves--apply the wisdom you find within on love, trust, faith, hope, smiling, and being tender. Laugh a lot with one another. Give each other space. Encourage rest and sleeping. Give everyone a daily job. Play together. Fill your home and tummies with warm scents and flavors of comforting foods.

By allowing each other to have a safe place to retreat you'll create a domicile you'll enjoy sharing. Together you'll get through this.


Stop Struggling--Stop Suffering
'Siddhartha stopped fighting his fate this very hour, and he stopped suffering.' 
'Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at anytime.'
Hermann Hesse


💓Stop Struggling💓Stop Getting on Each Others Nerves💓
💓Accept What IS💓Release What Was💓Create What must Be💓
Andrea Balt



A Cautionary Tail 

There once were two cats from Kilkenny,
Who thought there was one cat too many,
So they fought and they fit,
And they scratched and they bit,
Till excepting their nails,
And the tips of their tails,
Instead of two cats there weren't any.

Don't let this happen to you. Brownie




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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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2 comments:

Jean | Delightful Repast said...

Sue, you know I *love* all your posts, but this one, THIS ONE, is my absolute favorite!

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Haha, Jean. I knew you'd like this one. I think you missed Brownie's last appearance: How to Read Humans.