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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Simple Ways to Be Happy by Connecting with Others

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou

"How's your new boss?" I asked a friend I hadn't seen in a while.
Her eye-roll and long pause said it all.
"Not so good. It's been 65 days--and counting since he even looked at me and said hello. I mark the event on my calendar when he does."

Another woman, learning a new job in customer service says one of her new co-workers has refused to talk to her for the four months she has been working with her.
"Every morning for the last four months I walk in and say good morning to her, but she simply ignores me."
How can this be?

Hello~Bonjour~ Hola~ Ciao

Greeting another when your paths cross is such a simple social grace. It takes no time to look another in the eyes and offer a simple greeting-- and it can add so much to your own feelings of being connected with others.
"Good morning!"
"Have a nice day."
"Nice chatting."
"Good to meet you."
"Love you."
"Be well."
"Peace be with you."
When was the last time you paused to greet family, co-workers or strangers? That old sarcastic reply, 'I'm still here aren't I' to a spouse's question 'do you love me?' certainly does nothing to leave the spouse feeling connected and appreciated. Likewise, when you fail to acknowledge and greet people in your presence--whether co-worker or stranger--you leave them feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked. And ultimately you are the one who ends up disconnected and isolated.

The Art of Making People Feel Welcome

No matter what the situation, we all want to feel others are happy to be in our presence--including you. From the first day of work to the last, we want to feel welcome and included in the workplace. When we join online  discussions or in-person social groups we want to feel welcome and a part of the group.

When we feel welcome and appreciated, we do our best work, bring our best discussions and enjoy connecting with the people around us.

The art of making people feel welcome is simple: in all situations convey the four messages all people want to hear:

The Four Messages All People Want to Hear

I'm glad I'm here.

I'm glad you're here.

I care about you.

I know that I know.
You don't have to actually say those words--you need to convey the message through your actions. The simple social nicety of greeting people is a great first step. When you convey these four messages to the people you interact with in each meeting you will find you connect with people--and your own happiness factor will rise.

Check it out: Are You Connecting?

How do you make the people around you feel?

Do you practice the art of making others feel welcome and connected? Or are you so concerned about making an impression, getting your work done or finding the next opportunity you can't be bothered with how you make others feel?

Are you feeling dis-connected and set apart from the people around you?

How high is your 'Hello Factor'?

Run a 24 hour experiment: Consciously greet and acknowledge each and every person who crosses your path for 24 hours. As you increase your 'Hello Factor' does your 'Happiness Factor' increase?


Grant said...

Hey Sue, great post! Connecting with others is so so important. And I love your list of the four messages we all want to hear.

I've noticed again and again how so many people in the work place come in or leave without acknowledging or connecting with the people they spend so much time with. In the end, most of us experience more of our waking life at work, than at any other place. So building rapport and connecting with our colleagues is absolutely vital for happiness and harmony. Most people just don't get how important this is.

And you know, you cannot not communicate... saying nothing is actually sending a message. So when someone walks in and says nothing, they are really saying they don't care about the other person.

Yes, connecting with and greeting people is a vital part of relating with them. Your blog spells it out powerfully and clearly.

smiles, Grant

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Helllooo Grant!

I feel like I know you--although we've never met in person. As I've said to you, I love your greetings--especially 'smiles'. You have a way of connecting and building rapport on-line. So glad you're working on a book.

As always, thanks for your sage comments.

Be Well