Work-Life Balance: Stop The Work Creep from Taking Over

It's all a matter of perspective
credit: ShutUpImTalking.com

Gaining Perspective on Work-Life Balance

Why don't we complain we play too much or that play is getting in the way of our work? How is it we allow work to creep into our play life but we rarely allow play to infiltrate our work life? The answer may surprise you.

To understand the problem let's look at what happens in another context first--in the story of the smoking priest.

One day a priest who enjoyed smoking approached his superior to find out if it was alright for him to smoke while he prayed.

"Father, may I smoke while I pray?"

"No."

"Would it be alright if I pray while I smoke?"

"Yes."

It's all in how you say it or think it, isn't it?

We learn early in life it is not okay to play on paid work time. But just like the smoking priest--in our attempt to get ahead of the game at work--we trick ourselves into believing we are exerting self-determination by reversing the question we ask our self.

"Self, is it alright if I play while I work?"

"No."

"Would it be alright if I work while I play?"

"Yes."

Since no one is paying us to play it's our choice if we want to work while we play--right? Besides, it's only for now......and that's when the work creep begins to infiltrate the rest of our life.

The Work Creep

The Work Creep Masquerading as Fun

I can hear you wanting to argue--what if I really enjoy my work? What if my work IS my play?

If that is the truth, then by all means continue to live life exactly as you are. If you are leading a fully satisfying life that is fun and you feel you have a good balance in which you are contributing to the world without feeling overburdened, overworked or stressed by work you don't need to change anything.

On the other hand, if you look within and find you've allowed 'the work creep' to infiltrate your life masquerading as fun--but at the end of the day you're left feeling exhausted, cranky, under-appreciated, misunderstood, and wanting to lash out at people--perhaps it's time to ask different questions to put the fun and balance back into your life.


 Questions to Ask Yourself

• Are you a fun person to work with? Do colleagues seek you out or do they avoid you whenever they can?
• Do friends and family think it's fun to spend time with you or do they walk on eggshells around you?
• When you walk into a room at work do you feel a warm welcome or do you meet with averted eyes?
• Do people at work and at home say you are too intense--and you need to put the work down?
• Are you able to be calm, clear and focused at work or do you feel frazzled most of the time?
• Do you feel annoyed by people asking you questions or are you able to address issues at work with a sense of calm?
• Are you able to put the work down---or do you get so revved up you begin to think you are the only one who can do the job right and put in too many hours as a result? Have people asked you to stop putting in so many hours? Have others asked you to get out of the way so they can do their work without your interference?
• Do these questions make you squirm? Do you think these questions are directed at you? Are you brave enough to ask the people around you to answer these questions about you--and then take the answers to heart?

 

Don't let the Work Creep get the Better of You

 

You are the only one who sees behind your eyes and knows the truth for you. If the answers to these questions left you feeling like the work creep has permeated your life find a way to put the work down. Sometimes just pulling back a little--like taking one day off--will provide you the space you need to infuse your life with some real fun.

 

 

Fun with FUN

First known use of word FUN: 1727

 

Origin of word FUN:   English dialect fun to hoax, perhaps alteration of Middle English fonnen, from fonne dupe.

Definition of FUN: What provides amusement or enjoyment; playful often boisterous action or speech. A mood for finding or making amusement

 

 

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.
 
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Home is Where the Heart is: Rediscover Your Happy Place

 

 

 

Home in Ashland, Oregon

Happy Thought

"The world is so full of a number of things,

I'm sure we'll all be happy as kings."

Robert Louis Stevenson

 

What happy memories do you have that put you in a place of sweet longing to reconnect with a time, place or person? When was your time when 'your world was so full of a number of things you were happy as a king'?

I recently saw this snapshot of my hometown on my daughter's Facebook. The ethereal photo elicited comments from her friends who grew up here--now living elsewhere--who expressed longing for the good times and memories of growing up here--and it got me thinking about happy memories.

It is so important to periodically stop and savor good memories to let them color your experience of life the further you travel down the road. Life can weigh you down as you move into the age of responsibility--leaving you a little worse for wear. But your care-free, happy memories can buoy you back up and ease the way forward.

The mind is a wondrous thing--if you focus on unhappy or negative thoughts, you will create more negative thoughts; if you focus on happy thoughts, you will create more happy thoughts. Choose to train your brain to rediscover your happy place where the world is so full of wondrous things you can't help but stay engaged in exciting endeavors.

One of my fond memories I pull up to savor is of my mother reading Robert Louis Stevenson's 'A Child's Garden of Verses' to me and my siblings in the evening before bedtime. I can still feel the softness of that experience in which I spent time with my mother enveloped in unnamed feelings of warmth, love and safety. All is well with the world in that memory.

'The Swing' is one of Stevenson's poems that left a visual memory for me that regularly comes forth when I am out for a walk or spending time in the garden.  I offer it to you here in hopes you can share a moment of light, care-free feeling of a time of innocence and remember the world is YOUR oyster!

The Swing
How do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!

Up in the air and over the wall,
Till I can see so wide,
Rivers and trees and cattle and all
Over the countryside—
 

Till I look down on the garden green,
Down on the roof so brown—
Up in the air I go flying again,
Up in the air and down!
 

Robert Louis Stevenson

And one final poem for the grown ups from Stevenson

As from the house your mother sees
You playing round the garden trees,
So you may see, if you will look
Through the windows of this book,
Another child, far, far away,
And in another garden, play.
But do not think you can at all,
By knocking on the window, call
That child to hear you.

His intent
Is all on his play-business bent.
He does not hear; he will not look,
Nor yet be lured out of this book.
For, long ago, the truth to say,
He has grown up and gone away,
And it is but a child of air
That lingers in the garden there.

 

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 

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Are You Suffering from Compassion Fatigue?

 

 

 

'Bee on Clover' photography by Sean Royce

 

"How doth the little busy bee improve each shining hour, and gather honey all the day from every opening flower." Isaac Watts

 

Are You a Worker Bee Tirelessly Working for the Good of Others? 

 

• Do you sometimes feel like just another unappreciated worker bee flying through your day accomplishing a lot that nobody notices?
• Perhaps after a lifetime of meeting the needs of others to the exclusion of your own you're exhausted--and now you're on the edge of giving up everything to retire into solitude.

How doth the little busy bee improve each shining hour? Not to be overly dramatic, but she lives fast working for others and dies young.

 

Worker bees exist exclusively to support the colony. These selfless, industrious beings make the world a sweeter place for others through their dedication to supporting and nourishing the whole hive. While admirable, it's just not sustainable for long.

 

Like that honey bee, you may be a selfless being dedicated to the good of all who--up until recently--tirelessly put the care and needs of others before your own self-care and needs. 

 

While this makes you a honey of a human-being, without balancing your own self-care with the care of others, its simply not sustainable.

 

Failing to take care of you while always meeting the needs of others leads to compassion fatigue--a condition that caregivers of people and animals are highly susceptible to--demonstrating the classic signs of chronic stress or burnout.

 

According to the Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project:

 

"Studies confirm that caregivers play host to a high level of compassion fatigue. Day in, day out, workers struggle to function in caregiving environments that constantly present heart wrenching, emotional challenges. Affecting positive change in society, a mission so vital to those passionate about caring for others, is perceived as elusive, if not impossible. This painful reality, coupled with first-hand knowledge of society's flagrant disregard for the safety and well-being of the feeble and frail, takes its toll on everyone from full time employees to part time volunteers."

 According to Traumatologist Eric Gentry, "People who are attracted to caregiving often enter the field already compassion fatigued. A strong identification with helpless, suffering, or traumatized people or animals is possibly the motive."

 

Are You Suffering from Compassion Fatigue?

 

If you think you are suffering from compassion fatigue--you probably are--say the experts at the Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project--and your path back to health begins with one small step--awareness--and continues through engaging in self-care activities.

 

What are common signs to look for?

 

• Apathy
• Isolation
• Bottled up Emotions
• Substance Abuse
• Poor Self-Care
• Chronic Physical Ailments--GI upset, reoccurring colds
• Sad--no longer find activities pleasurable

 

Just Bee, painting by Lee Bryant, all rights reserved

 

 From Burnout to Balance and Uplifted Spirit

 

"Seeing only what is fair, sipping only what is sweet--leave the chaff, and take the wheat." Ralph Waldo Emerson, 'The Humble-Bee'

 

If you are a person who is drawn to caring for others--whether humans or animals--you will never short change others--but you will short change yourself. As you're told in airplanes, in the event of an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask first before you help someone else.

 

To put balance back into your life you must put yourself first--then regularly and frequently participate in activities with the sole purpose of uplifting, enhancing or entertaining you. These activities should NOT be for other's edification.

 

Sit quiet.

Bee idle. Bee Still.

Read a book.

Write in a Journal.

Paint.

Take Photographs.

Take a trip.

Sit by the beach.

Take a nap.

Take a walk.

Garden.

 

Set boundaries.

Say No.

Choose what you say YES to.

Ask for other's help.

 

Self-Assessments from the Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project

 

Would you like to assess yourself to see where you are at this time? Below are links to three self assessments. If you feel you need help recovering from compassion fatigue, seek out a professional who can guide you.

 

Compassion Fatigue Self Test

 

Life Stress Self Assessment

 

Professional Quality of Life Assessment

 

"His labor is a chant, His idleness a tune; Oh, for a bee's experience of clovers and of noon!" Emily Dickinson


Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts

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 For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

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Every Dog will have his Day--and You will too!

A Dog having his Day

"Let Hercules himself do what he may, the cat will mew, and dog will have his day."
 [1600 Shakespeare Hamlet v. i. 286]

Life Got You Down?

Why the hangdog expression? What has you concerned about your future?

• Have you recently graduated and are now worrying about getting a job?
• Are you worried about keeping your job or wanting to quit a bad one?
• Have you failed to get a job, or been rejected by a love interest?
• Are you in a situation that isn't good for you that you need to get out of?

Every Dog will have his Day--and you will too!

Just look at Jack's dog out for a walk 'having his day'. This is a dog totally unconcerned about how the day will unfold. As he walks down the street with his tail and head held high, he knows 'Euerie dog hath his day' --and his day is today. Could this be you too?

Rest assured, like all the dogs and people who have come before you--you'll have your day. The dog-eared expression 'every dog has his day' has been around for over 450 years telling us to 'relax' you'll get your day; 'stop worrying' your time will come.

• If you failed to get that job, or have been rejected by a love interest--never mind--your day is coming.
• If you're currently in a bad job or relationship--just know your day of resolve for changing your circumstances is coming.
• If your time to shine has yet to come--it's on its way.

Every Dog has her Day--And Your Heyday is Coming

Like 'every dog has its day', 'Heyday' is an expression that has been around since the 1600s and goes back to the use of 'hey' as an expression of great enthusiasm and happiness. 

 

Know your Heyday--or time of maximum power, prosperity, or popularity in which you experience your greatest vigor and success is coming.

 

SO HEY! Stay open to the possibilities that are before you--your day to shine, succeed, and be loved are just around the corner. Like Jack's dog walking down the street, keep your head high and high-tail it down the road today keeping a positive expectation for the bones coming your way.

Definition of Hangdog Expression: Sad, Dejected

First known use of the Expression: 1677

Meet the Artist

 Jack Rode, 3rd Grader

 

 

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter

 

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

 

 

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

 



Tale of Two Wolves

"Compassion for animals is intimately connected with goodness of character; and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals is not a good man." Arthur Schopenhauer

 An Old Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside us.

"My son", he said, "the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

"The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

"Which wolf wins?"

The grandfather simply replied, "The one you feed."

Which wolf will you feed today?

 

Meet the Artist

 Ashton Boyd, 3rd Grader

 

 

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.



It's Fun to have Fun, But You have to Know How to Get Started

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." Gilda Radner

Its Fun to have Fun, But you have to Know How--to get Started

"Susan--I spend all my time working--or thinking about what I need to do--so I'm missing out on having fun. Your article on 'Having Fun' helped me--but I just don't know how to get started. Maybe you can give me a suggestion to help me start to play." Cynthia

Cynthia, If you want to be a 'Happy Dog' who knows how to play, as Dr Seuss said, 'Its fun to have fun but you have to know how'.

The most important trick I use with myself on an ongoing basis to divert my attention from the work to play is the 'one minute trick'. But when you need to totally jump start yourself into the play mode start with the rip and tear pleasure hunt.

The Rip and Tear Pleasure Hunt

The rip and tear pleasure hunt is a stress-free way to overcome the inertia to getting started having fun. It can help you discover a fun-filled life full of meaning and pleasure, without you making a major time or money commitment.

Here's how it works:

1. Collect Ideas. Without giving it too much thought, as you go through newspapers, magazines, adult education calendars, college catalogues, brochures--if something catches your eye--rip it out and put it in a Rip and Tear Pleasure Hunt folder.

2. When You Feel Like it, Take a Closer Look. When you get curious about what interests you, sit down with a cup of coffee or tea, open the folder and as quickly as you can separate the various 'interest items' into three piles: 'Very interesting', 'Somewhat interesting', and 'On second glance, I don't know why I chose this'.

3. Ask Yourself: If I were to choose one activity, which one would it  be? Take your 'Very Interesting' pile and look through it more carefully. Ask yourself: If I were to choose one activity, which one would it be? At this stage, don't worry whether you have the time, money or inclination to follow through.

4. Take One Small Step to Collect More Information. Not sure you have the time, money or energy to follow through with your most interesting item? Call for more information, ask others for their opinions, commit to attend one session of a 10-week course--take one small step to collect more information. Again, at this stage you are merely collecting more information, not committing your time, money and energy.

5. If You Like What You See--Follow Through. If the information you collect on your most interesting item sparks your interest--go for it.

6. Keep Collecting and Following Through. Keep adding to your Rip & Tear Pleasure Hunt. Your interests will change over time. By continuing to go through these steps, you will develop a stress-free way to discover a life full of joy, meaning and fun!

The One-Minute Trick

Here's where the one minute trick comes in--commit to taking the first step to participating in something fun--but you only have to stay one minute. If after one minute you decide its not for you, leave.

• Go to the first pottery class and talk with the teacher.
• Go to the gym, get out of your car and walk into the facility.
• Go to the volunteer orientation to see if this is the right opportunity for you.

The hardest part is always overcoming inertia--taking the first step--even when its something you would enjoy doing! That is why the key is to keep the first step so small you bypass thinking about it and just do it--without worrying about following through further.


Start with a 5 minute Uplift in Your Spirit

To get yourself in the mood, take 5 minutes to watch and listen to an amazing clip taking you dancing around the world. I love this video. It makes me a happy dog every time I view it (which I do often).

Click on the link then find the link to '5 minutes to the joy of living' on the page. You can't watch this short video without feeling happy and a part of this world. Don't let the fun pass you by. Get involved in something meaningful to you.

http://lightartedliving.blogspot.com/2012/08/feeling-weary-had-enough-take-moment.html

 Meet the Artist

 Preston Powers, 3rd Grader

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter 

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

 

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates 

 

For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

All Work and No Play Makes You No Fun! (Just Ask Your Dog!)

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." Edward Hoagland

It is Good to Play

One day when my son was four I had him at home with me as I was rushing to meet a deadline. Sean loved to play. So I pulled his Legos out for him to play with to distract him while I worked. But what he wanted most was to play with me.

Every 10 minutes or so he would come up to me and say, 'come play with me'. But there I was staring at my computer, sweating bullets, with a blank mind as I tried unsuccessfully to come up with a topic for my weekly article. I would smile at him and say, "just a little bit longer, Sean. Mommy has to work, and then I'll come play."

Finally, when he'd had enough of my putting him off he simply said, "Mommy, it is good to play."

How could I argue with that? I shut the computer off and played with him the rest of the day. And what do you know? The idea for an article that had so eluded me earlier simply popped into my head when I stopped working at it. It is good to play.

The Play Stance

Why as adults do we procrastinate on having fun? Dogs, like kids, know it is good to play. Who doesn't like watching dogs take the play stance shown in 8 year old Carlos Torres's painted tile above? With their tails wagging and rear-ends in the air, dogs bow down to others to invite play.

We could learn from these gurus of play, but too often we just work, work, work. We bow our heads and furrow our brows to invite work, not play.

Instead of responding to the invitations to play, we send our kids and dogs off with a pat on the head and get back to the work at hand. We simply do not know when to put the work down. It's not good for us...and it's not good for our bodies.




Every Body Needs to Play

'Every body needs to play" says 3rd grader Iris Mazariegos-Rodas. Children just intuitively know it does a body good to go out and take a romp. So why do we forget about the importance of play as we become adults?

It is good to have dogs and kids in our lives to remind us that everybody needs to play, smile, laugh and enjoy life. If you have one of these gurus of play in your life--pay attention! Accept their invitations to play. Our minds crave fun distractions. Why not give in to that craving and satisfy your need to play.

• When was the last time you did something for the sheer fun of it?
• Have you let work or work worries consume your life?
• What invitations to play have you rejected?
• What are 3 fun things you could do this week to let your inner dog or kid out?

 "You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!" Dave Barry

Meet the Artists

 Carlos Torres, 3rd Grader Walker Elementary School 

Iris Mazariegos-Rodas, 3rd Grader Walker Elementary 

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

 Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

 For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Life IS Good

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." Anatole France

 

  

Put a Paint Job on the World--Look through the Eyes of a Child

I had the pleasure of working with 27 3rd graders on a tile art project that now graces the entrance to the Jackson County Animal Shelter dog kennel. Each painted tile is more bright and cheerful than the last.

I've often been accused of putting a paint job on the world, and enjoying looking through rose-colored glasses--and I'm guilty as charged. So it should come as no great surprise that I enjoy looking into children's art to see the messages within. And the message I see is Life Is Good.

I love the sweet message of Emily Hatfield's painted tile above:

• Life is simple and straightforward--don't complicate it.
• Life is uncluttered and unencumbered--keep it simple.
• Look for the simple pleasures (ahem...a tree to pee on).
• The sun is always shining--bask in its warmth and enjoy your day.

 When it gets down to it, we are all just kids in big bodies. Don't let your dreams and visions become clouded by adult difficulties. Choose to return to a simpler time.

Life will bring troubles that complicate your life. Yet you can choose that child-like view that life is good and work to simplify and enjoy it--despite your difficulties.

Life IS Good. Enjoy it.

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog; they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog that comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and maybe I will become as generous and loving as they are." ~Unknown
 
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 For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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Surviving Hard Times

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset." Saint Francis de Sales


Are You Piss Poor? Good! That's better than not having a Pot to piss in!

I'm fascinated by the origin of ideas, beliefs and sayings--and search engines provide me hours of amusement as I attempt to discover how colorful sayings get a foot-hold in our language.

Every now and then when I catch myself using an odd phrase I stop to wonder what I'm really saying--and this leads me on a path to discovery that often lightens my mood despite trying situations.  That's what happened one afternoon as I found myself using the phrase 'piss poor'.

While engaged in a conversation with a friend about people feeling poor and down on their luck she shared her own story about two little girls who showed up in her daughter-in-law's backyard one afternoon.

The kids had just moved into a new home built by Habitat for Humanity right behind her daughter-in-law's modest home. This young single mother who is 'piss poor'--lost her husband at a young age and is raising two boys alone while going to school and receiving financial support from her parents. She isn't exactly flush with resources.

She hadn't yet secured a job since finishing school. But she does have an old, long out-of-use trampoline in her backyard.

One afternoon, she looked out into her backyard to see two little girls sitting on the decrepit trampoline. When she went out to greet them, they asked, 'Are you rich'?  To these children 'without even a pot to piss in' that old broken down trampoline looked like riches.

Perhaps after the recent years of economic woes, like this young woman, you're feeling piss poor. But it's all a matter of perspective. While you may be feeling 'down on your luck' or less than 'well-heeled', the good news is if you're feeling piss poor you still have options for pulling out and making money.

The expression 'piss poor' originated around the 1500s when urine was used to tan animal skins. Poor families could earn money by collecting their pee in a pot to sell to the tannery--and thus they were 'piss poor'.

But someone else was even worse off than you in the 1500s if they 'didn't even have a pot to piss in'--meaning they were so poor they couldn't even afford to buy a pot for the family to pee in--and so they were unable to make money selling pee to the tannery.

Seemingly Vulgar Terms Originate out of Hard Times

What I see in these seemingly vulgar expressions is our ingenuity to find ways to make money in dire circumstances. Life is a challenge. Since the beginning of time people have been struggling to make a life.

From the outside, others always look shinier, better, and more successful. From the inside, we see all of our blemishes, failures, losses and difficulties. Yet most of us in the U.S. are part of the 99% whose income has diminished while our struggles have increased. Most of us must work at creating a life, finding or keeping a job, and making an income in this tough economy. No one 'has it easy'--and few are 'catching more breaks' than you.



Stop Worrying and Let Tomorrow Bring New Strengths

How do you survive hard times? Are you struggling to catch a break? Are other people doing better than you? When you look around you does it seem like everyone else is breaking through the difficulties, except you?

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "with the new day comes new strength and new thoughts". When you find yourself worrying about comparing your current circumstances to others, put it down for the day and see what tomorrow brings.

"Worrying does not empty today of its troubles, it empties tomorrow of its strength." Mary Englebreit


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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

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Never Try to Teach a Pig How to Sing

Ducunt fata volentem, nolentem trahunt
The Fates guide those who go willingly. All others they drag.

Are You Trying to Teach a Pig to Sing?

It's a drag--that person who does things so differently from you really irritates and annoys you. So you take it upon yourself to fix him and show him how to do it your way--the right way. It works, right? Wrong.

Just as Rocky said to Bullwinkle (at the beginning of each cartoon when Bullwinkle said 'watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat'):

"That trick never works."

That trick doesn't even work if you attempt to fix yourself so you can fit your square or squiggly self into that round hole to please others.



 Stop wasting your time trying to make you or others into something you're not. As Robert Heinlein said:

 "Never try to teach a pig how to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig."

Does this mean people can't grow and change? No. It means there are many ways to accomplish things and we need to accept the differing gifts in ourselves and others with grace, compassion, and understanding. A pig can easily learn how to hunt for truffles but try as they might--they can't learn to sing.

It never works to attempt to make people over to be like you. It always works to encourage others become their own best selves.

"Never try to teach a pig how to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig," means we need to accept the realities of life. You can't make a pig sing no matter how hard you try--and no matter how annoyed the pig gets.

So the next time you try to take on another person as your make-over project, know 'that  little piggy' doesn't want to learn how to sing your tune or dance in step with your timing--so stop wasting your time and annoying her!  Let her learn her own dance and tune.



Stop Wasting Your Time and Annoying Others

We all have 100% natural, healthy, effective ways we prefer to deal with the world around us--and all of them are perfectly sound ways to get things done. You can stop wasting your time and annoying others by acknowledging these differences and learning how to make a constructive use of them.

• Where in your life are you trying to teach a pig to sing?
• Who are you annoying most--you or another person?
• Do you want to continue wasting your time or being annoyed?
• Are the Fates guiding you? Or are you being dragged to the obvious conclusions?

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill

**A special thank you to Vicki Brown, a member of Linkedin MBTI discussion group for sharing "Ducunt fata volentem, nolentem trahunt"


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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Lighten Up: Down Home Humor from Mark Twain and Will Rogers

 

'The spirited horse, which will try to win the race of its own accord, will run even faster if encouraged.' Ovid

 



What's Your 'Carrying a Cat by the Tail' Experience?

I love the witty humor of Mark Twain and Will Rogers. Whenever I start taking myself too seriously or getting stuck in my thinking, a quick search through my Twain and Roger quotes pulls me out of a foul mood 'faster than green grass through a goose' and has me laughing at myself in no time.

Mark Twain can evoke an image like no other and bring it home to rest for me. Here's one that tickles my fancy:

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."

Each time I visit that quote, the image of carrying a cat by the tail sears into my brain and elicits a full out belly laugh in me. And while I've never actually carried a cat by its tail, I know exactly what it means ---and you do too.

Just picturing myself carrying a cat by its tail makes me consider where I might be doing that in my life. Oh--it's never a real cat--rather the metaphorical cat by the tail--that person I just had to engage who's spitting mad and clawing at everyone looking for someone to bite.

It doesn't take too many 'carrying your cat by the tail' experiences for me to learn the benefits of taking a different approach with that person.

Looking for someone to bite



What have I learned to do differently by seeing those individuals as cat by the tail people?

• Don't poke at them--and don't showcase them in undignified ways in which they feel totally out of control.
• Always give them a place to hide so they can choose to come out and show themselves when they're ready.
• Ignore them and go about your business until they're ready to meet you out in the open.
• And if they can only stand the light and openness a short time, let them quietly go back to hiding undercover.

When a person is spitting mad and looking to take it out on someone, stay out the way or you will become the target--warranted or not.

The Shocking Truth



If Twain fails to lighten my mood and help me see the error of my ways, there's always Will Rogers' humor for switching on the lightness:

"There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading;
The few who learn by observation;
The rest of them have to touch an electric fence." 

 

Most of us start out life having to touch the electric fence---and some, like Bart Simpson, continue to learn in that manner.

As a kid growing up surrounded by cow pastures and orchards, I spent a lot of time running around with neighborhood kids exploring the world around us. One day a pack of us decided it would be fun to touch an electric fence with all of us holding hands just to see what would happen. The person at the front of the line touched the fence with a single piece of wet grass and that current whipped through our bodies, zapping us with a wallop.

Did I suspect it was a bad idea? Yep. Did I do it anyway? Yep. Did I do it again? Nope. Like carrying a cat by the tail, I learned first-hand why that wasn't such a good idea--and I've never forgotten the experience.

As Will Rogers says:

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

We often choose our learning lessons, by bucking the wise counsel of others or our own better judgment. Sometimes we just have to step in and experience that wild ride for ourselves. We suspect what we're about to do is not a good idea, but we're going with it any way.

If you discover you're one of those people who still has to learn by 'carrying the cat by the tail' or 'touching the electric fence' so be it. Your learning experiences are sure to pack a wallop.

As Will Rogers says:

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

 

"If you find yourself digging a hole, stop digging."

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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Acting with Grace Under Pressure

'When you're secure with yourself you have no need to lash out at others and you're able to act with grace under pressure.' Lightarted Sue

The Desire to Slap that Person 

Okay, I get it--as pressure mounts and deadlines loom you desperately want to slap that critical, judgmental person standing on the sidelines telling you (and others) what you're doing wrong while failing to help move things forward. It would be so easy and feel so good to match her bad behavior--tit for tat; stone for stone.

But just because she demonstrates bad behavior doesn't mean you should. It doesn't help you in the moment of pressure and it doesn't help you in the long-run.

Learning to Act with Grace under Pressure

We all imagine what we'd like to do to other people when we're under pressure. It's only natural to imagine a quick 'fight or flight' reaction when you feel threatened.  But you're always training yourself--and your brain--by your choices. When you succumb to reacting under pressure you train yourself to stay in the part of the brain that is reactive instead of moving to that part that allows you to take a more even, graceful approach under pressure.

 Think of it this way: bad, reactive, obnoxious behavior is a result of feeling out-of-control while thoughtful, measured, graceful behavior is a result of feeling secure and in-control. You need to ask yourself which path you want to take--in-control or out-of-control.

People who feel out-of-control are easy to spot. They're the ones trying to control the environment and everyone else. They throw tantrums and blame others. Controlling people are fearful things are going to fall apart unless they force the situation and berate others. The truth is it is the controlling person who feels most insecure and out-of-control.

"Choose to make life choices that result in you feeling more secure and in-control of your life."

You can learn to act with grace under pressure by making it a life choice that guides your daily actions.

"When you choose to act gracefully under pressure you commit to suspending judgment and practicing the pause whenever the urge to lash out comes over you"

Choose to act in a way you can look back in 20 years and be proud of yourself. When you make a life decision to take the path of feeling secure and in-control you'll slow down and pause to find your center when you're under pressure.


"You cannot restore others to their best selves by belittling them or by punishing them, or by being disgusted with them. It is only through love you can return anyone to love. And if you do not have a way of returning them to love, they will always be a problem to you."
Abraham (paraphrased)


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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.