Recovering from Shattered Dreams and Battered Souls

'I don't know a soul who's not been battered

Don't have a friend who feels at ease

Don't know a dream that's not been shattered

Or driven to its knees.

But it's all right, all right.'

Paul Simon, An American Tune, 1973

The Long Road

With the long road ahead of me during a recent 12-hour road trip I found myself in a quiet, pensive mood. As I looked out the window at the cities and people whizzing by me I thought about the stories of pain and struggle I've heard from both young and old during these incredibly difficult times of change, economic hardship and lack of soul-lifting work.

Facing a long drive together, I decided to engage my husband in conversation to get his thoughts on solving these universal problems.

'If you were in charge of the world', I asked, 'what would you do to help others navigate these difficult times and help them find good jobs while staying upbeat during the down times? How would you advise them?'

We were stumped. We sat in silence for a very long time staring at the road before us as he pondered the issues before speaking, and I sat befuddled, unable to see my way clear. How do you find answers to these questions that are satisfying and useful?

During our extended silence, Paul Simon's 'An American Tune' came on to fill the air between us with words and music written so long ago, quietly speaking to the issues facing people today. I listened as Simon clearly articulated what I was feeling at that very moment but failed to find the words to express:

• I don't know a soul who's not been battered.
• I don't have a friend who feels at ease.
• I don't know a dream that's not been shattered---or driven to its knees.

In that moment I was struck with the humanness of it all--the struggle, the disappointment, and the valiant effort we put into pulling out of 'dreams driven to their knees' back into living the life we imagined. Its the same old story, repeated generation after generation.

Paul Simon wrote the lyrics almost 40 years ago (1973) and put them to music composed by JS Bach, composed almost 300 years ago. Still, the words and music so eloquently speak to the pain we experience today.

It was forty years ago, Simon wrote: 'We come at the age's most uncertain hour.' Yet here we are today, feeling we're the ones who've come at the age's most painful and uncertain hour.

No Easy Answers

We played this song over and over again, as the miles slipped away, so the lyrics could flow over us. As we listened to the song we tossed a few ideas back and forth but it was the song that provided the most ease and truth.

What I know about how to recover from shattered dreams and battered souls isn't much.

There are no easy answers--just this: Sometimes we need to just sit in what we're experiencing to acknowledge the pain without fixing it, knowing we're all in the struggle together.

We need to consciously name the feelings behind the struggle before we can heal and move on. And when we're ready, we need to follow in the footsteps of those who've struggled before us and take the next step.

What You Need to Know to Recover from a Battered Soul and Shattered Dreams

• You're not alone in your pain and struggles.
• You're made of strong stuff.
• Life is full of challenges made easier by sharing the road with others.
• You have all the ingredients within you to successfully navigate life's challenges.
• 'It's all right, it's all right, it's all right.' Paul Simon

 

'Many's the time I've been mistaken

And many times confused

Yes, and I've often felt forsaken and certainly misused

Ah, but I'm all right, I'm all right

I'm just weary to my bones'

Paul Simon, An American Tune

What do you know? Share your thoughts on how we can help one another during the age's most uncertain hour.

If you would like to see the complete lyrics to An American Tune or to purchase the music of Paul Simon, visit the Paul Simon site.
Lyrics to An American Tune by Paul Simon

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 For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences.

Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Ralph Waldo Emerson

'It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting'
Paulo Coelho

Man's Search for Meaning

Sometimes in the overwhelming challenge of trying to find work in this economy, or attempting to recover from a devastating break up of a relationship or loss of a loved one, you can be left feeling discouraged, hopeless and isolated. Looking through the lens of defeat and loss, life can begin to feel flat and meaningless.

The key to pulling out of the darkness is to change the filter you look through to gain a fresh perspective. Or as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams."

When you're dispirited and feeling low it may feel like an impossible task to change your perspective. You don't exactly feel perky and positive. Yet, changing your focus from your problems and the seemingly insurmountable obstacles you face to putting the focus back on creating a life based on your dreams and aspirations is the only way out.

I Know it Hurts--Just Push into the Pain

When I was in labor with my first child I failed to dilate fully so my doctor manually stretched me during the contractions that occurred one minute apart. This was the most painful and seemingly never ending process I've ever experienced. I could barely remain conscious the pain was so excruciating.

With contractions coming every minute, I would fall into a deep sleep for 45 seconds before the contractions would wake me up and the unbearable pain would start all over. As the doctor stretched me (60 times an hour) he kept saying 'I know it hurts, just push into the pain'. It took all my resolve not to kick him in the groin and tell him 'YOU push into the pain!'

But even in my darkest moment somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I knew when I eventually got out of what turned out to be 24 hours of hard labor, that comment, 'I know it hurts, just push into the pain', would become a metaphor for my life.

If Pain is the Teacher, What's the Lesson?

Birthing a new life--literally or figuratively has it's painful moments--but when you push into the pain and stay focused on your dreams you move through it to gain a new life. It isn't always pleasant or easy but when you achieve a dream it's worth it in the end.

There is no way to avoid or go around the the painful part of life on our way to achieving our dreams. No one 'has it easy'. But if we keep our eyes on the goal, instead of the obstacles, we allow ourselves to be led by our dreams instead of pushed by our problems, making it easier to endure the difficulties along the way.


Are You Ready to Turn it Around?

• Where have you felt pushed by your problems? 
• If you were led by your dreams what would you do differently? 
• If you had all the time and money in the world, what would you do with your life? 

Within your Heart keep one, still secret spot where dreams may go....

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Feeling Weary? Had Enough? Take a Moment

Enjoy~Share~Create

Sometimes you've had enough. You just want to stop thinking, stop trying, stop pushing. You want to go to a place where you can just be and regain your sense of being a simple human who easily belongs to the greater human tribe.

If you could use a moment of simple joy and whimsy, pause five minutes to enjoy this YouTube Video 'Where the Hell is Matt?' that takes you dancing around the world. It's simple, joyful, and hopeful.

You won't be smarter, wiser, or more beautiful if you watch it. It won't get you a job, a date or a better life.  But afterwards you will know the world is a  better place.

We all need moments to regroup and renew our flagging spirits. Sometimes a simple moment is enough to give us the strength to face another day or take another step. Take one moment now. You deserve it.


Click here for 5 minutes of the Joy of Living

Click here for lyrics to TRIP the LIGHT

A special thanks to Moey for sending me this video to share with you. Add it to your 'no-brainer' collect of things that give your mind a moment of rest and your mouth a momentary smile.



Dance the dream in your heart.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.










Why is Life so Hard? Advice from B. B. King

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

Martin Luther King Jr.

Feeling Discouraged?

Lately, I've heard from many people feeling discouraged and disheartened by disruptions in their life, relationships and careers. Perhaps you're one.

Sometimes life is hard. It doesn't always go the way you want it to go, and sometimes you have to deal with difficulties you don't want to deal with.

Through the years I have always found myself returning to a B.B. King song 'Better Not Look Down' to lift me up and provide me the spirit to take the next step. They don't call him the King of Blues for nothing!

Today, I offer you a link to BB King's answer to the blues. Take a break from your troubles to listen--and don't look down!

B B King - Better Not Look Down


"You better not look down if you want to keep on flying;
Put the hammer down, and keep it full speed ahead.
Better not look back or you might just  wind up crying;
You can keep it moving if you don't look down." BB King

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Calm Down!

'Personal mastery is the discipline of continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively'. Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline

'You're Okay, Jessica'

Years ago I heard the story about a reporter who observed a mother in the grocery store calming her screaming toddler in full tantrum-mode. The reporter watched as this mother very calmly talked to the out-of-control child saying, "You're okay, Jessica. Everything is going to be okay, Jessica. Be  calm, Jessica. Just breathe and calm down, Jessica."

The reporter was so impressed with how calmly this mother talked to her child she followed the young mother out into the parking lot to talk to her as she strapped her child into the car seat.

"I just have to say how impressed I am with how calmly you talked to baby Jessica in the store, " she said.

The frazzled mother turned toward the reporter and giving her a tired, little smile said, "I am Jessica!"

Calming the Beast

I can't tell you the number of times that story--and punch line--has popped into my head.
I'll be in the middle of a crisis of other's creation swirling around me, thinking 'stay calm', 'breathe', 'relax'--when suddenly I see myself with that tired little smile saying 'I am Jessica'.

Most of us hate that stressed-out, out-of-control feeling. But face it--many times throughout the day we're hit with situations pushing us out of balance and giving us that anxious, queasy feeling in our gut.

So many things happen outside of our control, but our own response to those out-of-control situations IS what we have power over. The question is how do we best calm ourselves when stress happens?

Calm Begins Within

You are the only one who can calm yourself. Jessica knew this and made a valiant effort to calm herself as the situation unfolded. This is no small feat when the stress-producing factor is another human being who is tired, hungry and over-stimulated (i.e. a bundle of reactions and emotions with no ability to rationally negotiate).

But before you assume I'm just referring to the difficulty of dealing with a toddler, think again. Consider how often you begin your day frazzled when you encounter another adult who is also on her last nerve and sparks fly. We all become a bundle of reactive emotions when we're tired, hungry and over-stimulated.

How to Step Down to Calm

1. Dis-engage. Find a way to dis-engage your emotions when stress happens. If you can, walk away from the immediate situation and keep your mouth shut. If it's not possible for you to leave the situation, dis-engage your mind  by talking yourself down like Jessica did so you don't engage your mouth (WWJD--what would Jessica do?).

2.  Nourish Your Body. Get in the habit of keeping your body well-nourished--eat protein every couple of hours to help keep your blood sugars even. If you discover you forgot to eat and hunger contributed to your reaction to stress, grab nourishing food as soon as you can.

3. Get Physical. Your stress response--or fight or flight response--is set up for you to take action. To dissipate the stress hormones in a positive manner, engage in something physical--pull weeds, take a walk, clean the house, dance or do yoga--anything that will burn off physical energy and calm the nerves.

4.  Sleep and Do Nothing. Sometimes the very best thing to do is to do nothing. Stop thinking about what happened. Do something you enjoy. Sleep on it.


5. Stop and Start Over.  When you're ready, let go of the anger, stress, anxiety and resentment. Restart your day and relationship.

'If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.' Chinese Proverb

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Recapture the Idle Days of Summer

Photography by SRG

Remember those Care-free Days of Childhood?

Amid the haste of daily life, do you long for a return to days gone past?

Why not take the time NOW to renew your spirit, recapture the idle days of summer, and find time to re-live the care-free days of childhood.

Chose Peace and Contentment

You are where you are today because of the choices you made in the past. Where you end up tomorrow will be the result of the choices you make for yourself today. Choose to relax into the present moment and find your sense of peace and contentment.

Rekindle Your Innocence

• Use quiet moments to reflect on life's possibilities instead of life's limitations. 
• Reach out to others in support and friendship instead of focusing on things that are disappointing. 
• Wake up each morning with a full heart and a deep love for ALL.

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness,

not because they never found it,

but because they didn't stop to enjoy it.
William Feather

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Life Suck? Deal with it!

'If you're going through hell...just keep going.' Winston Churchill

Sometimes Life Sucks. It's How You Deal with it that Matters.

I get it. Sometimes life sucks. Things don't always go your way.  But here's the thing: You either deal with it or you don't. And if you choose to deal with it you either deal with it well or deal with it poorly.

I'm Angry all the Time

No one is immune from getting stuck and dealing poorly with life.  I recently talked with a man filled with anger. His anger was directed at the economy, and 'the train-wreck coming down the track no one is paying attention to'.

And like the person who ineffectively speaks louder to make a person who is deaf hear, he became more insistent in his angry talk. His days were consumed with talking about 'the train-wreck' and trying to get people to pay attention. As a result, most people stopped listening and walked away, and his level of frustration and anger grew more intense.

"Nobody is listening to me," he said. "I'm trying to get them to wake up to the corruption and how their rights are being taken away, but no one cares. I am just so angry all the time."

From Creating Your Own Reality to Creating Your Private Hell

The funny thing is this self-made man is financially set for life. He has--more than anyone else I know-- lived his life believing 'you create your own reality'. As a result, he has successfully navigated life's challenges and enjoyed making money doing what he loves-- being a highly creative and influential person.

So what's up? What happened to turn this powerfully creative and influential man into a person currently stuck in his own private Hell feeling life sucks and everyone's stupid? Look no further than the usual suspects--a huge bout of stress due to major life upheaval and transition.

  

He's human. And like the rest of us mere mortals who deal with prolonged periods of intense life change, he has temporarily lost his resiliency and way.

After an intensely stressful period in which he uprooted his life--selling the house he built and lived in for more than 30 years and moving 1200 miles away he burned out. The spark igniting his true passion and drive has been falsely replaced with raging anger. He hasn't yet had time to regain his balance and rediscover his direction for this new phase of his life.

 Things aren't Always what they Seem

Sometimes we erect convincing false fronts--things that seem to be true, but are really hiding the truth. These false fronts aren't erected for other people, but for ourselves. For example, if this man exhibits intense righteous anger about the world outside (the false front), he doesn't have to pay attention to the war he's raging with himself inside.

Fear and depression often masquerade as anger. 'Fear managed by anger' is one way many people deal with the uncomfortable out-of-control feelings of fear or dread. Anger looks and feels more powerful. Yet the truth is anger only boils over when we feel out-of-control and/or powerless.

Knowing the Right Questions to ask is Half the Solution

Sometimes asking the obvious questions can help you or another in distress get back on track.

I asked this gentleman three important questions:

• What do you want to create in your life right now? 
• Is this obsession to talk about 'the train-wreck' helping you create what you want in your life?
• How effective do you feel bludgeoning people with this conversation?

The obvious questions produced the obvious answers--putting them front and center for consideration:

• I want peace, harmony and creativity in my life right now.
• Harping on the obsession puts me 180 degrees from where I desire to be.
• I am totally ineffective getting others to pay attention when I bludgeon them.

To Get at the Truth: List Your Complaints

To regain power and control over your life you must reclaim ownership for it. We all want to be in charge of our own lives, but sometimes life sucks and we lose our sense of being in charge.

If you, like this man, find yourself out of sorts, and dealing with life poorly, try this exercise for putting you back in the driver's seat:

1.  On paper, make a list of all your complaints about the people around you--what is it they won't let you do, or what they do/don't do you don't like, etc. Go ahead--let the complaints fly. Look over your list of complaints about others to be sure you've got them all.
2.   Rewrite your list of complaints about others replacing they/he/she with 'I'.

For example:

My Complaints About Others

• No one is listening to me.
• They won't listen to me.
• They're creating a train-wreck.
• They're being stupid.
• I have to bludgeon them to get them to wake up.
• They won't wake up.
• No one cares.

Rewriting my Complaints to 'I'

• I'm not listening to myself.
• I won't listen to me.
• I'm creating a train-wreck.
• I'm being stupid.
• I have to bludgeon myself to get myself to wake up.
• I won't wake up.
• I don't care.

 We don't have control over other people, only over ourselves. When we feel frustrated and angry we can't make others do what we want them to do, life sucks and we deal with life poorly.

When we bring our focus back to ourselves, we regain the ability to influence and direct our own lives. When we have complaints about others and life, it pays to ask the obvious questions and refocus those complaints on ourselves.

What about You?

• What do you want to create in your life right now? Take steps each day towards renewing your goals and regaining your focus on the present.
• Are your current actions and beliefs helping or hindering you getting where you want to go?
• What are your complaints about how others and the world are getting in the way of you having a great life?
• When you refocus your complaints from 'they' to 'I' what do you learn about the role you're playing in getting stuck?
• If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?
• If life feels flat and uninspiring, act 'as if' you want to do something and take a step.
• Goals change as we transition from one life stage to another. If making money is no longer the driving force, what can be your driving force?
• Which do you choose--to deal poorly with the life you've dealt or to deal well with the life you've been handed?

"Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well" Robert Louis Stevenson

"What I say is, patience, and shuffle the cards." Miguel de Cervantes

The Heart has its reasons that Reason knows nothing of...



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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

  

Good Communication May Begin with Avoidance

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King Jr.


I'm Not Ready to be Nice!

When I was younger I was responsible for getting my younger sister to do the dishes on the nights it was her turn. One night as we were arguing about her failure to clean the kitchen my father had enough of listening to us argue.

"Suz! Nanc! Go outside and don't come in until you're ready to be nice!"

We both did as we were told and went out on the back patio to cool off. After a few minutes my sister simply walked back into the house, but not me. I just sat out there and stewed.

Finally after so much time passed my father stuck his head out the door and said, " Suz, come on in."

But indignant I was yelled at for just trying to get my sister to do her job I was still too mad to come in and replied, "No! I'm not ready to be nice!"

Still Sitting on the Back Patio

That was one of those defining life moments for me. Over the past  45 years I've found myself 'sitting on the back patio' when someone hurts my feelings or inappropriately chastises me. There I am--totally unwilling to come in out of the cold to 'make nice'.

It's just how it is--there's a distinct period of time after a perceived injustice when I'm just not ready to deal. If I was to face the conflict before I was ready, it would only produce a poor outcome so I retreat into myself until I'm ready to come out.

Maybe Good Communication Begins with Avoidance

It's a no-brainer: If you're going to resolve conflict with someone you must face the issue and talk directly to the other person.  But sometimes you're just not ready.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, we all have those private moments of feeling like a chastised child when someone gets mad at us or 'does-us-wrong'--especially if we're working hard to do good or 'get it right'. The unfairness of it all throws us into our own private childish funk.

Think about it: What was your private reaction to a recent unfair situation or perceived injustice? What conversation went on in your head? What did you want to say to that person but didn't? How did you blow off your anger?  What's your 'sitting on the back porch unwilling to come in from the cold' experience?

Sure, as we mature we learn the art of waiting before we react when we're upset. But that doesn't stop the immediate feelings of being a reprimanded or discounted child. So maybe our path to good communication begins with avoidance. Avoiding a confrontation allows us to work through the child-like feelings before proceeding to facing the difficult--or crucial—conversation so we are better equipped to handle it well.

Self-Calming Activities Restore Your Mature Self

We all need time to let the heat of the moment subside. Stepping away from your hurt or anger to engage in self-calming activities is key to restoring good relationships and your mature self. Take a walk, talk to a friend, take a nap, play with your dog or participate in any pleasant activity that serves as a distraction from dealing with the issue.

The more time you put between when you first get upset and when you choose to talk with the other person, the more time you have to allow calm thinking and options to appear.

 Go Ahead--Sit on the Back Patio Until You're Ready

There's nothing wrong with taking your time sitting in your feelings. Don't rush to deal with an issue before you're ready. Sit out in the cold for as long as you need to. Then, when you're ready, find a way to deal with the other person so your relationship is restored.

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." George Bernard Shaw

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Einstein's Three Rules of Work: Find Simplicity, Harmony and Opportunity

'Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.' 

Albert Einstein

You knew Albert Einstein was brilliant, but who knew simplicity, harmony and opportunity were at the core of his work values?

Einstein's three rules of work really speaks to me. I like to think I have characteristics in common with him, but the common ground I share with him is a scientific mind that tends to create a bit of  chaos and clutter in my living and work environment.

To me, Einstein's three rules of work fit with Lao Tzu's quote, 'To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.'

💙 When we sit quiet, out of clutter, simplicity emerges.

💚 When we sit quiet in the midst of discord, harmony emerges.

💜 When we sit quiet in the middle of difficulty, opportunity emerges.

Einstein might have named these the three rules to make life work. When we stay in chaos and crisis mode we are unable to find the simplicity, harmony and opportunity present in every situation. But take a breather or walk to calm the mind, and the whole universe surrenders to us.

Where Can you Apply This to your Life?

💙 What have you been hyped up about?

💚 Where in your life could you benefit from taking a breather to calm your mind?

💜 Where in your life would you like to find simplicity,harmony and opportunity?

Do it now

'To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.'  

Lao Tzu

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Afraid to Make Mistakes? Get Over It!

'Doing one fool thing after another is not so terrible when you consider the human proclivity to do several fool things at once'   Robert Brault

Afraid to Look Foolish? Get Over it!

Are you so afraid to make a mistake you never take a step? Lighten up! Get out there and mess up. 

• Fail Big
• Fall on your Face
• Embarrass Yourself Big Time

 ......just stay involved experimenting with life.

What Makes You Feel Foolish?

• Asking someone for a date.
• Letting others know you're looking for a relationship.
• Letting others know you're looking for a job.
• Letting others know you've been on unemployment a long time and you really want a job.
• Applying for a job you know 100 others applied for.
• Speaking up in a meeting.
• Saying 'I Love You'.
• Admitting you made a mistake.
• Asking for help.
• Admitting you feel foolish.

Step into Life

We are wired to learn from our mistakes. The key to moving your life forward is to continually take a step--any step--that has the potential for a positive outcome.

'Don't belittle yourself be BIG yourself', says Corita Kent. It takes a big person to get out there, be foolish, and make mistakes in the course of living life. Set your sights on what you want -- a good job, a healthy relationship, a healthy body--and continually take small steps in the direction of that goal. Sometimes playing the fool isn't so foolish after all.

'One is more apt to become wise by doing fool things than by reading wise sayings.'  Robert Brault

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Job Hunting: How to Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions

'Toss your dashed hopes not into a trash bin but into a drawer where you are likely to rummage some bright morning.'     Robert Brault


Have you or someone you know been laid off?

Getting laid off can be scary and demoralizing. Unless you take charge of your emotions as you seek new work, the overwhelming sense of fear and failure can immobilize you. What can you do to get yourself on a positive, hopeful job hunting path?

Six Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity and Hope Job Hunting

To get off on the right foot daily, you must begin by dealing with the fear, stress, anxiety, anger, shame--and other negative emotions generated by your layoff.

Take steps to transform your negative emotions into positive actions each and every day. Here are six tips for daily actions to help you maintain your sanity and hope during your job hunt.

At the beginning of each day choose to:

1.  Stop and Start over. Consciously center yourself each day. Fear, anger, and anxiety work against you and wastes your energy. Choose to harness your energy and enthusiasm.

2.  Concentrate on Facts, not Fears. Decide on one active step to take each day rather than letting fear immobilize you. Approach your job search factually. Take the emotion out.

3.  Be on a Search for the Truth. Take a step--any step--down a path with the potential for a positive outcome without knowing if it is the right path or if you'll get the job. this is the key to 'stepping over the invisible barriers to taking action'.

4.  Make no Judgments & Cast no Blame. Let go of anger or internal judgment about what happened to cause the layoff. It is what it is. If you fail to hear back from someone after you call or send a resume, don't move into self-blame or analyzing what an a-hole the person is. Move on or take the next step.

5.  Envision the Best Possible Future. The key is to see what you want, not what you fear.  Every day, take the first five minutes of your day to describe and focus on your ideal job. If you want to work on it longer, do it.

6.  Plan your work and work your plan. Take the time to list concrete actions that will move you towards landing a new position and find ways to include others who can help you.

'Tough times don't last...tough people do'  Robert H Schuller

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If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

How to Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Beliefs

'Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.'  W. Clement Stone

What Beliefs Lead Your Life and Actions? 

 The messages leading our lives and actions are everywhere--in newspapers, TV and the internet; in our communications and actions; in our photos, art, and music.

Every day we're bombarded with messages running the gamut from life-affirming to fear-creating--and we're letting them influence us. Unless we pause to consciously choose which ones we let in, those negative ones heightening our fear response are the ones most likely to get into our psyches.

Fear, Anxiety and Anger Don't Need Help Getting In

 Unfortunately fear-creating messages don't need help getting into our brains. Because they come fully-packed with a strong emotional charge they get fast-tracked in as the fear whips through our body and there they stay until we work to get the negativity out.

But it doesn't have to be that way. You can choose to let more positive thoughts take up residence in your brain leading to more positive actions by taking your cue from the power of fear and anger producing thoughts. 

Take a Lesson from the Bad Boys--Fear, Anxiety and Anger

The problem with positive, life-affirming messages, such as 'All is Well in my World' is they are so very nice. They fail to slam you in the gut like the bad boys--fear, anxiety and anger.The lesson to be learned from the success of negative thoughts slipping in is the brain loves and attends to messages with strong emotional and visual impact.

'The lesson to be learned from the success of negative thoughts is the brain loves and attends to messages with strong emotional and visual impact.'

To remedy the situation find ways to present positive, calming, affirming messages with strong emotional and visual impact. The stronger the meaning you give a message, the more your brain attends to it.

Here's the thing--your brain doesn't remember facts, it remembers meaning. So the more meaning you give something, the more it takes root in your memory. 

'Your brain doesn't remember facts, it remembers meaning.'

Focus Your Attention on the Positive Messages

Rather than glancing at the affirmation 'All Is Well in my World' and moving on with your day, stop and do something with it ~React to it ~ Talk about it ~ Redesign it ~ Apply it ~ Go for a walk and ponder it. When you experience a discrepancy between what you believe and how you act, you will change your beliefs to match your actions. Choose positive actions and positive beliefs will follow.

  

• What meaning does 'All Is Well in my World' have for you today? 
• What can you do to apply it to your life?
• What is getting in the way of you accepting this message as true for you right now?
• How can you switch from accepting fear-based messages to accepting everything is well in your world?

Create Eye and Heart Candy for the Brain 

Rather than reading the words in positive messages, actively respond to them. Turn the messages into pieces of art or postcards to send on to others. The more color you use creating positive artful messages, the more meaning you give them. And the more you share them with others, the deeper the messages get in your own psyche.

All is Well in my World

Let go of the fear. All is well.

What beliefs are you affirming through your actions?

• When you get out for that daily walk or bike ride you affirm you're healthy and active.
• When you stay involved in serving your community you confirm you're connected.
• When you celebrate other's good fortune in getting or keeping a job, you affirm your own good fortune is on its way.
• When you pass on life-affirming messages to others you affirm your own desire to create  life-affirming actions.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.


Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.