Dealing with Mean-Spirited People: Find a Way to Do Good despite the Despicables!

'A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, 

but a woman of strength knows it is the journey that will make her strong.'

BE STRONG

Seeking Trust, Tranquility and Satisfaction in the New Year? 

Get Past the People Wishing You Harm So You Can Get on with Doing Good 

Not everyone out there has your best interest at heart. Some people have wicked intentions to do you harm. They are the mean-spirited, cruel, despicable, and vile nasties you find scattered about in your world who make it their job to make your life miserable. Luckily for you there are far fewer of these nasty people than the kindhearted people willing to support and work with you to make the world a better place.   

Too often the nasties lie in wait looking for ways to twist your actions or words into something they are not. And if they find a soft spot--a place where perhaps you failed or simply failed to be perfect, they're ready with the magnifying glass to amplify your failures. 

The Despicables have a strong belief in their absolute rightness and in your absolute wrongness. Why they zero in on you seeking to control you and stir up trouble for you is a mystery.

If you are seeking trust, tranquility and satisfaction in the new year, find ways to get past the people wishing you harm so you can get on with the business of doing good. Don't let their nastiness stop you or define you. Choose to be internally driven and define your own way.

Tips for Guiding Your Own Life

Tip # 1: Choose to see the world as a friendly place and let your actions be internally driven 

When you choose to see the world as a friendly place you set a positive expectation that wherever you go that loving, caring people are ready to help you succeed. You step out into the world knowing even if mean-spirited people are present, you are surrounded by even more good people who are ready and willing to guide you to positive outcomes.

Tip # 2: Let your actions and thoughts be guided by people who inspire you, not the nasties who denigrate you.

Mother Teresa, The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living

'These are the few ways we can practice humility~

To speak as little as possible of one's self;

To mind one's own business; 

Not to want to manage other people's affairs; 

To avoid curiosity; 

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully; 

To pass over the mistakes of others; 

To accept insults and injuries; 

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked; 

To be kind and gentle even under provocation; 

Never to stand on one's dignity; 

To choose always the hardest.' 

Tip # 3: Guide your actions by who you want to be, not by who the nasties tell you you are.

'Act mindfully. Accept entirely. Move strongly. Think softly. Speak beautifully. Live simply. Love completely.' Anon

'If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it. This you have the power to revoke.' Marcus Aurelius

 Tip # 4: Act As If!

You are the one who makes decisions for your life and the mean-spirited Despicables can only influence your decisions if you let them. You are the driver of how you deal with the world. 

'As If' thinking is a very powerful tool that can work for or against you. Since you're in charge of your thoughts you are the only one who can turn your negative 'As If' thinking into positive 'As If' thinking.

Tip # 5: PRACTICE Experiencing the World 'As If' it is Friendly

When you catch yourself fighting that nasty person out to get you-- pause-- and choose to practice acting as if the world is a friendly place in which you are in charge. Start by playing 'what if'--what if everyone in my world was out to help me achieve my greatest desires? What would your world look like? What options and opportunities would open up for you? For example:

If everyone in my world is out to help me achieve my greatest desires then:

• Everyone who posts a job I'm interested in writes the position with me in mind.
• People interviewing me for a job want me to stand out as a candidate. They're secretly rooting for me.
• If I am laid off, the universe is making way for a better situation for me. I am now free to invite creativity and more challenging work into my life.
• Wherever I go I meet people who are looking to be my friend, my partner or employer.

'Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.' Margaret Mead

Tip # 6: Seek Help from a Trustworthy Person 

If you have difficulty transitioning from experiencing the world as hostile to friendly, seek the assistance of a person in your life you and others know to be trustworthy and ethical.  Sometimes it helps to practice seeing the world through another set of eyes--ones you can easily trust and safely learn from.

'The possibility that we may fail in the struggle should not deter us from supporting a cause we believe to be just.' Abraham Lincoln

Tip # Infinity and Beyond: Believe this is Your Year to Shine!

This is your year to shine! If last year failed to provide you with a positive and energizing environment in which to contribute your gifts and build loving relationships, find ways to get a fresh start. There is no time like the present to go out there and give generously of your gifts.

What are you waiting for? That friendly world with people who mean you good is waiting for your contributions and gifts.

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Lao Tzu and Albert Einstein: From Chaos and Crisis to Harmony and Opportunity

I have faith in the future and in human beings

In the Middle of Difficulty lies Opportunity

Albert Einstein's three rules of work: 'Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.' 

Who knew simplicity, harmony and opportunity were at the core of Albert Einstein's work values? Or how effortlessly Einstein's philosophy would dovetail with the simple wisdom of Lao Tzu?

'To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.' Lao Tzu

When we combine the wisdom of these two great minds we discover a straightforward way through the chaos and clutter of our current difficulties to the opportunities that lie ahead.

• When we sit quiet, out of clutter, simplicity emerges.
• When we sit quiet in the midst of discord, harmony emerges.
• When we sit quiet in the middle of difficulty, opportunity emerges.

I am resilient in the face of setbacks.

A Still Mind Calms the Chaos and Crisis

Many situations in life break your heart, spirit and belief in yourself and life--making you feel you could never again recover that essential, childlike innocence you were born with. But you can.

No matter what difficulty you're currently facing, the way through is to begin to create moments of quiet to still your mind one step at a time. No--this isn't easy, but it is essential. 

Each moment of my life is new, fresh & vital.

Take the First Step to Regain a Hopeful Heart and Renew Your Wounded Spirit

Not much has changed in the thousands of years humans have been facing and recovering from the difficulties of life. 

Lao Tzu stated so long ago, 'a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step'. 

You fuel your inner strength and sense of resiliency by taking action. But sometimes when faced with 'a journey of a thousand miles' you can be overwhelmed with the daunting task of where to begin. What is the first step?

The good news is any first step will do. Your hope, resiliency, and personal strength will grow stronger with every step you take. It doesn't matter what the first step is. As you experience yourself being pro-active and physically taking action, your ability to cope and hope will improve. So start with a single step--any step-- and then another.

I allow my mind to relax--I am at peace

Take Small Steps

An old Chinese Proverb says, 'The man who moved a mountain is the one who started taking away the small stones'. When you're in total overwhelm mode, start 'taking away the small stones'--one small step, then another.

When you stay in chaos and crisis mode you are unable to find the simplicity, harmony and opportunity present in every situation. But take a breather or walk to calm the mind, and the whole universe surrenders to you.

In times of darkness I trustingly step back into the light

Where can you apply this to your Life?

• What difficulty are you currently facing?
• Where in your life could you benefit from taking a breather to calm your mind?
• Where in your life would you like to rekindle simplicity,harmony and opportunity? Do it now.

'If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading'. Lao Tzu

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Audacious Introverts and Extroverts: From Shut Down to Speaking Up

The Courage to Speak and Act 

Sometimes when life hits us a big blow--or perhaps many little ones--our resolve to tackle life head on is weakened, and we retreat into a timid place in which we lack the courage to take action, speak out, or tell our truth. 

Now you may falsely believe a timid spirit is confined to introverts and an exuberant spirit is only found among extroverts. But this is a misconception based on the caricature of a soft spoken introvert overwhelmed in a world of outspoken extroverts. 

Extroverts are just as susceptible as introverts to be shut down by life blows and need to find ways to coax themselves back out to face the world; and introverts are just as capable as extroverts to access and show their bold, courageous selves. 

Whether we're introverts or extroverts, we all access our inner and outer world at will, with introverts preferring to spend more time in the inner world and extroverts preferring to spend more time in the outer world.

But when life knocks us down, all of us--introverts and extroverts alike--retreat into our inner world to hold our own counsel and reconnect with our inner strength.

Accessing Your Bold, Audacious Spirit Inside

I know--'audacious' is not a word you generally think of when you think of an introvert and not always for an extrovert either. Yet it is a great word that describes a way of being we should all strive to achieve. 

An Audacious Spirit Promotes Strength

Unlike possessing a brassy, bossy, or bully spirit, an audacious spirit is one that promotes your strength to meet the world head on rather than one that is determined to control others into submission.

Unselfconsciously Fully-Engaged in Life

When you embrace your Audacious Spirit , you put fear aside to unselfconsciously show the fully engaged and fully alive person you are: You embolden yourself to seek justice; right wrongs; go where others have not; think differently; and step over boundaries and past barriers to unleash your best talents and self. 

The two-pronged Chinese Symbol for Crisis
'dangerous opportunity' 

Crisis--a Dangerous Opportunity Spurring You into Action

We are usually spurred into audacious action by a life crisis. While the initial response to a crisis is to retreat into yourself, the sharpness and discomfort of a crisis also rekindles your naturally audacious spirit to do battle--and suddenly you'll step forward to once again speak up to create the type of workplace, community, family or relationship you want.  

Choose to embrace and redirect your life experiences. Don't be afraid of the life crises and don't be afraid of retreating into yourself in response to the blow you take from dealing with them. 

Reframe what is happening when you retreat--learn to sit in the discomfort and view it as a time to regroup and build up your indomitable spirit to reemerge fully prepared to face life boldly and courageously.

Believe in Your Ability to Handle Whatever Life Brings You

Learn to rekindle trust in yourself, turn fear into faith in your future, and seek an Audacious Spirit!

Boldly Turn Fear into Faith

F E A R

 F  E  A  R

 F  E   A   R

False Evidence Appears Real

False Evidence Appears Real

          Forgo All  Insecurity  Trust  Hope

Forgo   All   Insecurity   Trust   Hope

Forgo All  Insecurity Trust Hope

Forgo All  Insecurity Trust Hope

F  A  I  T  H

F A I T H

F A I T H

There is in every

True woman’s heart

A spark of heavenly fire

Which lies dormant

In the broad daylight

Of prosperity-

But which kindles up

And beams and blazes

In the dark hour of adversity

Be Audacious!

Today I am Audacious!

• Extremely bold and daring; 
• Recklessly brave and fearless;
• Shameless Bold and Brazen;
• Extremely Original and Highly Inventive;
• Recklessly bold in defiance of convention; 
• Lively; Unrestrained; Uninhibited;
• Courageous, Dauntless, Venturesome;
• Unabashed, Shameless; Impertinent, Forward.

'Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.' William James

This post is dedicated to all the AUDACIOUS WOMEN in 2015 who I witnessed stepping out to boldly support the life and causes they believe in! You are an inspiration to me.

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Dare to Dream the Impossible Dream: Surviving Difficult Times

'Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.'  Howard Thurman

A Dream of Hope   

Do you ever have dreams that profoundly affect you? I do. 

One night I dreamt I allowed myself to be killed over and over again to show others how I came alive again. Although I died again and again in the dream, it was in fact a dream of hope--not a morbid one—and that's why it had such a profound effect on me.

At the time I had been contemplating how I might help people who were laid-off and unemployed maintain hope for their future.

'What was the secret to turning around feelings of hopelessness so people beat down by life could reemerge victorious and fully involved in life?'

What I realized was my dream showed me the answer to how I maintain my own ability to thrive despite discouraging times--

'When I am 'deadened by life experiences' I refocus my attention away from the deadening experiences and put it back on things that make me come alive. By choosing to be among 'the living' again, I reemerge triumphantly and show others I have come alive again.'

Within You is the Desire to Serve the World FULLY ALIVE

Sure, your life difficulties and this slowly recovering economy can still make you feel like a quivering bowl of Jell-O--stuck in indecisiveness and failing to act because you don't know what the right step is that will work out for you.

But here's the thing--within you is a desire to serve the world--FULLY ALIVE--using your unique skills and talents. But what are they and how do you access them when you feel deadened by your current circumstances?

What makes you feel FULLY ALIVE?

When you're in the midst of dealing with major life issues--like caring for aging parents, dealing with divorce, being laid off, or graduating from college into a poor job market--it creates an emotional cloud around your thinking. Trying to make logical, rational or heart-felt decisions about your purpose or life calling can feel like you're asking the black 8-ball a question and getting 'reply hazy, try again'. It can feel like an impossible task.

This is when you must choose to actively take steps to rediscover your passion.

Everything is (SECRETLY) okay
ALL IS WELL IN MY WORLD

Have Faith in Your Inner Wisdom--and Take a Step

Act as If: When your senses are numbed have faith in your inner wisdom to shines a light on the path that makes you come alive--then act as if--and take a step. 

Trust, but Verify: This is a variation on 'trust, but verify' others. In this instance you trust your inner self to know your path--but you test the truth of that wisdom by taking action. You'll know soon enough if you want to continue down this path or choose another direction.

Life is an Experiment

All of life is an experiment. You start with a hypothesis--or idea of the truth about what makes you come alive--and you actively test your theory through taking practical steps to see if you indeed come alive by taking that path.

Are You Ready to Come Alive and Dream the Impossible Dream?  

• Make an active choice to be back among the living.
• Refocus your attention.
• Act as if.
• Trust, but verify.
• Choose actions that show others you've come alive again.
• Choose actions that show you care about life.

Dare to Dream the Impossible Dream During Difficult Times

Don't let your life experience keep you down. Dare to dream the impossible dream during difficult times. Choose to triumph over the obstacles that get in the way of you coming alive. You always have another step to take.

What Makes You Come Alive? 

• What puts a twinkle in your eye?
• What gets your blood boiling?
• What makes your heart race?
• What's something you'd really like to sink your teeth into?
• What captures your mind's eye?

 'Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.'   H.L. Mencken

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 
If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Heart Attack: Stress won't kill you, but not taking care of it might

Mindfulness Linked to Good Cardiovascular Health

Do you consider yourself a person who is aware and attentive to what you're thinking and feeling? Turns out a study from Brown University discovered a link between better cardiovascular health and people who are mindful of what they think and feel. 

That's great news for me--and I hope for you. I pride myself on being highly aware of what I'm thinking and feeling most of the time. And apparently most of the time is good enough...most of the time. 

According to the researchers, a high mindfulness score associated with better cardiovascular health is more about having good mind-body awareness most of the time than about our regularly practicing mindfulness exercises, like meditation. 

But why should this higher awareness of our thoughts and feelings produce better cardiovascular health?  In all probability it is related to our ability to better manage stress.

Some health professionals, me included, do not believe heart attacks are caused by clogged arteries, but are due instead to an imbalance between our sympathetic--or fight or flight nervous system--and our parasympathetic--or calming nervous system--due to chronic stress. 

In fact, researchers discovered a single intense incidence of anger results in an 8.5 times increased risk of having a heart attack in the two hours following the outburst.
. 

Regardless of whether you believe stress is the cause of heart attacks or not, you cannot disregard the critical role chronic stress plays in setting you up for poor cardiovascular health. Stress causes inflammation in the body--a condition associated with increased risk for cardiovascular events. 

Without an awareness of how you're responding to daily stressful events, your body will continue to release adrenaline--the stress hormone--that keeps you in constant readiness for fight or flight while suppressing your calming hormones.

While stress won't kill you, failing to balance your fight or flight 'stress' system with your calming nervous system very well could.

Pride Comes Before the Fall--or is that Rise?

Unfortunately it never pays to be too smug or overconfident about how smart or aware you are--especially about things that concern your health! 

I know this first-hand as I am quite smug about how consciously I live my life and manage my stress. I pride myself on being a person who remains calm in the midst of stressful situations--always believing in my ability to handle whatever comes my way.

But you know the saying 'pride comes before the fall'? Well in my case I would say pride came before the rise. 

I recently experienced a concerning rise in my blood pressure that despite my best efforts to bring it back down, kept rising. As I had been sick for a month I thought perhaps that was the cause so I sought medical help and accepted a prescription for an additional blood pressure lowering medicine.

But as I often do, I observed what I revealed or failed to reveal in my medical appointment. I watched as I calmly and objectively reported all appropriate vital signs measured over the course of two weeks, clearly showing a sudden and sustained increase in blood pressure and heart rate. I heard myself describe the duration and symptoms of the illness and what I had done to get back to health. And I explored all factors I thought could contribute to a sudden rise in blood pressure--except the obvious one.

What I failed to report was the stress I was experiencing at work that was forcing me to consider quitting. In my defense, it wasn't until I was talking with the nurse practitioner that I even allowed myself to see an inkling of truth about the stress-factor. I was in denial--simply ignoring what I didn't want to see. 

When 'Most of the Time' isn't Good Enough

While being mindful most of the time is good enough most of the time--sometimes the belief we are better than others at recognizing and handling stress can blind us to an immediate situation causing our body to negatively react.

It is especially challenging to stay mindful of how you're reacting when you're in the middle of a stressful situation. 

And if like me you view yourself as someone who always handles your stress well, you too can ignore the mounting physical distress, and dismiss the effects the stress is creating in your body. That's when you need to call on your friends, family and body to help you see the obvious so you can take healthful actions.

Listen to Your Body and Seek Advice from Trusted Friends

Although I failed to acknowledge a link between my work stress to the sudden and sustained increase in blood pressure to my medical provider, just the act of making the appointment and exploring my options with her opened my eyes to the truth I didn't want to speak.

I felt an almost immediate release after I left the medical appointment--not because I had a prescription, but because I gave myself a glimpse of the truth. I suspected my blood pressure was going to go down all by itself now that I came to terms with what my body was telling me--and it has.

When your body tells you something is wrong, as mine did, that is the time to reach out to others who can help you see and state the truth. 

I made an appointment to deal with the blood pressure rise because my sister insisted I go--and after my appointment I confessed the obvious truth to her. And her response to my revelation the rising blood pressure was due to work issues? "Duh."

It is our bodies and our loved ones that can gently guide us past our denial so we can get back on a self aware path--if we're willing to listen.

Sometimes when we're in denial, we just need a nudge from our bodies and from others to point us in the right direction that we already knew we needed to go. 

3 Tips: Self Awareness For Cardiovascular Health 

Staying aware and attentive to your thoughts and feelings is an essential part of managing your stress and therefore your cardiovascular health. Sometimes that means knowing when to seek help from others, tracking your health markers, and taking actions to alleviate stress.

• Seek friends and family advice
• Visit your medical professional
• Pay attention: track your blood pressure, blood sugar, sleep patterns.

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.