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Monday, January 18, 2016

Dealing with Mean-Spirited People: Find a Way to Do Good despite the Despicables!

'A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, 
but a woman of strength knows it is the journey that will make her strong.'

Seeking Trust, Tranquility and Satisfaction in the New Year? 
Get Past the People Wishing You Harm So You Can Get on with Doing Good 

Not everyone out there has your best interest at heart. Some people have wicked intentions to do you harm. They are the mean-spirited, cruel, despicable, and vile nasties you find scattered about in your world who make it their job to make your life miserable. Luckily for you there are far fewer of these nasty people than the kindhearted people willing to support and work with you to make the world a better place.   

Too often the nasties lie in wait looking for ways to twist your actions or words into something they are not. And if they find a soft spot--a place where perhaps you failed or simply failed to be perfect, they're ready with the magnifying glass to amplify your failures. 

The Despicables have a strong belief in their absolute rightness and in your absolute wrongness. Why they zero in on you seeking to control you and stir up trouble for you is a mystery.

If you are seeking trust, tranquility and satisfaction in the new year, find ways to get past the people wishing you harm so you can get on with the business of doing good. Don't let their nastiness stop you or define you. Choose to be internally driven and define your own way.

Tips for Guiding Your Own Life

Tip # 1: Choose to see the world as a friendly place and let your actions be internally driven 

When you choose to see the world as a friendly place you set a positive expectation that wherever you go that loving, caring people are ready to help you succeed. You step out into the world knowing even if mean-spirited people are present, you are surrounded by even more good people who are ready and willing to guide you to positive outcomes.

Tip # 2: Let your actions and thoughts be guided by people who inspire you, not the nasties who denigrate you.

Mother Teresa, The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living

'These are the few ways we can practice humility~

To speak as little as possible of one's self;

To mind one's own business; 

Not to want to manage other people's affairs; 

To avoid curiosity; 

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully; 

To pass over the mistakes of others; 

To accept insults and injuries; 

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked; 

To be kind and gentle even under provocation; 

Never to stand on one's dignity; 

To choose always the hardest.' 

Tip # 3: Guide your actions by who you want to be, not by who the nasties tell you you are.

'Act mindfully. Accept entirely. Move strongly. Think softly. Speak beautifully. Live simply. Love completely.' Anon

'If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it. This you have the power to revoke.' Marcus Aurelius

 Tip # 4: Act As If!
You are the one who makes decisions for your life and the mean-spirited Despicables can only influence your decisions if you let them. You are the driver of how you deal with the world. 

'As If' thinking is a very powerful tool that can work for or against you. Since you're in charge of your thoughts you are the only one who can turn your negative 'As If' thinking into positive 'As If' thinking.

Tip # 5: PRACTICE Experiencing the World 'As If' it is Friendly

When you catch yourself fighting that nasty person out to get you-- pause-- and choose to practice acting as if the world is a friendly place in which you are in charge. Start by playing 'what if'--what if everyone in my world was out to help me achieve my greatest desires? What would your world look like? What options and opportunities would open up for you? For example:

If everyone in my world is out to help me achieve my greatest desires then:

  • Everyone who posts a job I'm interested in writes the position with me in mind.
  • People interviewing me for a job want me to stand out as a candidate. They're secretly rooting for me.
  • If I am laid off, the universe is making way for a better situation for me. I am now free to invite creativity and more challenging work into my life.
  • Wherever I go I meet people who are looking to be my friend, my partner or employer.

'Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.' Margaret Mead

Tip # 6: Seek Help from a Trustworthy Person 

If you have difficulty transitioning from experiencing the world as hostile to friendly, seek the assistance of a person in your life you and others know to be trustworthy and ethical.  Sometimes it helps to practice seeing the world through another set of eyes--ones you can easily trust and safely learn from.

'The possibility that we may fail in the struggle should not deter us from supporting a cause we believe to be just.' Abraham Lincoln

Tip # Infinity and Beyond: Believe this is Your Year to Shine!

This is your year to shine! If last year failed to provide you with a positive and energizing environment in which to contribute your gifts and build loving relationships, find ways to get a fresh start. There is no time like the present to go out there and give generously of your gifts.

What are you waiting for? That friendly world with people who mean you good is waiting for your contributions and gifts.

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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