Lightarted Living: Getting Past Self-Doubt

Lightarted Living: Getting Past Self-Doubt:  

Getting Past Self-Doubt

 

Being Koi

Sometimes it's hard work putting yourself out in the world. Every time you're faced with a moment of transition in the workplace or on the home front, self-doubt and self-consciousness can float to the surface making you feel shy about putting yourself back out there. So how do you nudge yourself out of it?

Show up 

When you feel momentarily timid, take a tip from Koi and simply show up.  Stop being coy and hiding under a rock or in the weeds.  Be seen. Showing up is 80% of success.

Don't be coy, be KOI.

Who doesn't love sitting next to a Koi pond watching Koi gracefully move through the water. They aren't self-conscious about swimming and they don't overthink every move. They do what they were born to do: swim.

Accept you were born to swim with ease in big ponds and small. You'll naturally stand out when you show up and show yourself to be a willing and competent swimmer. Hiding behind a rock or in the weeds will do you no good. Stop overthinking and focus on swimming instead.

Be yourself and proudly swim into the thick of things. You are spectacular just as you are. 

If you want to stand out even without making a splash, Be Koi, not coy. 

We see ourselves for what we aren't; others see us for who we are.

 All Things Come to She who Baits

"Fishing is the pursuit of the elusive but attainable~a perpetual series of occasions for hope."    John Buchan 

Life can be thought of as a life-long fishing expedition in which we are 'in pursuit of the elusive but attainable~a perpetual series of occasions for hope'. This is an especially useful metaphor for dealing with work and landing the positions or clients you desire. 

As long as we keep sticking our pole in the water, we maintain hope we'll land the elusive but attainable fish we're after. And if we keep baiting the hook, eventually we'll land that fish. 

Notice, fish don't care how great a fisherman or woman you are. They care about the bait. This is true no matter the type of fish you're after--even clients or employers.

In moments when self-doubt arises, take the focus off you--the person--and put it on the bait for the fish you want to land. 

What is the alluring skill, talent or product the fish you want is attracted to?  What is the bait needed to land that particular fish? How can you bait that hook then sit back and wait?

I've always loved the Charlie Tuna commercial showing Charlie as a fish who prided himself as being a Tuna with 'good (artistic) taste' and the very clever tag-line, 'Sorry, Charlie; people want tuna that tastes good not tuna with good taste.' 

Like Charlie the Tuna, we need to stop focusing on ourselves and keep our eyes on how to fill a need--the bait--an employer or client wants. 

Bait and Switch

Sure, it matters how good a fisher you are when it's time to reel in the fish. But first you have to attract the fish and get it to bite--and that means letting the self-doubt go.

By doing a 'switch and bait'--switching from a self-conscious focus on yourself to a focus on the bait to attract the big fish--you open up oceans of possibilities for you to pursue without giving yourself another thought. 

Swimming in Possibilities

Getting Past Self-Doubt

 

Being Koi

Sometimes it's hard work putting yourself out in the world. Every time you're faced with a moment of transition in the workplace or on the home front, self-doubt and self-consciousness can float to the surface making you feel shy about putting yourself back out there. So how do you nudge yourself out of it?

Show up 

When you feel momentarily timid, take a tip from Koi and simply show up.  Stop being coy and hiding under a rock or in the weeds.  Be seen. Showing up is 80% of success.

Don't be coy, be KOI.

Who doesn't love sitting next to a Koi pond watching Koi gracefully move through the water. They aren't self-conscious about swimming and they don't overthink every move. They do what they were born to do: swim.

Accept you were born to swim with ease in big ponds and small. You'll naturally stand out when you show up and show yourself to be a willing and competent swimmer. Hiding behind a rock or in the weeds will do you no good. Stop overthinking and focus on swimming instead.

Be yourself and proudly swim into the thick of things. You are spectacular just as you are. 

If you want to stand out even without making a splash, Be Koi, not coy. 

We see ourselves for what we aren't; others see us for who we are.

 All Things Come to She who Baits

"Fishing is the pursuit of the elusive but attainable~a perpetual series of occasions for hope."    John Buchan 

Life can be thought of as a life-long fishing expedition in which we are 'in pursuit of the elusive but attainable~a perpetual series of occasions for hope'. This is an especially useful metaphor for dealing with work and landing the positions or clients you desire. 

As long as we keep sticking our pole in the water, we maintain hope we'll land the elusive but attainable fish we're after. And if we keep baiting the hook, eventually we'll land that fish. 

Notice, fish don't care how great a fisherman or woman you are. They care about the bait. This is true no matter the type of fish you're after--even clients or employers.

In moments when self-doubt arises, take the focus off you--the person--and put it on the bait for the fish you want to land. 

What is the alluring skill, talent or product the fish you want is attracted to?  What is the bait needed to land that particular fish? How can you bait that hook then sit back and wait?

I've always loved the Charlie Tuna commercial showing Charlie as a fish who prided himself as being a Tuna with 'good (artistic) taste' and the very clever tag-line, 'Sorry, Charlie; people want tuna that tastes good not tuna with good taste.' 

Like Charlie the Tuna, we need to stop focusing on ourselves and keep our eyes on how to fill a need--the bait--an employer or client wants. 

Bait and Switch

Sure, it matters how good a fisher you are when it's time to reel in the fish. But first you have to attract the fish and get it to bite--and that means letting the self-doubt go.

By doing a 'switch and bait'--switching from a self-conscious focus on yourself to a focus on the bait to attract the big fish--you open up oceans of possibilities for you to pursue without giving yourself another thought. 

Swimming in Possibilities

Lightarted Living: Audacious Introverts and Extroverts: From Shut Dow...

Lightarted Living: Audacious Introverts and Extroverts: From Shut Dow...:   

Audacious Introverts and Extroverts: From Shut Down to Speaking Up

 

The Courage to Speak and Act 

Sometimes when life hits us a big blow--or perhaps many little ones--our resolve to tackle life head on is weakened, and we retreat into a timid place in which we lack the courage to take action, speak out, or tell our truth. 

Now you may falsely believe a timid spirit is confined to introverts and an exuberant spirit is only found among extroverts. But this is a misconception based on the caricature of a soft spoken introvert overwhelmed in a world of outspoken extroverts. 

Extroverts are just as susceptible as introverts to be shut down by life blows and need to find ways to coax themselves back out to face the world; and introverts are just as capable as extroverts to access and show their bold, courageous selves. 

Whether we're introverts or extroverts, we all access our inner and outer world at will, with introverts preferring to spend more time in the inner world and extroverts preferring to spend more time in the outer world.

But when life knocks us down, all of us--introverts and extroverts alike--retreat into our inner world to hold our own counsel and reconnect with our inner strength.

Accessing Your Bold-Audacious Spirit Inside

I know--audacious is not a word you generally think of when you think of an introvert and not always for an extrovert either. Yet it is a great word that describes a way of being we should all strive to achieve. 

An Audacious Spirit Promotes Strength

Unlike possessing a brassy, bossy, or bully spirit, an audacious spirit is one that promotes your strength to meet the world head on rather than one that is determined to control others into submission.

Unselfconsciously Fully-Engaged in Life

When you embrace your Audacious Spirit , you put fear aside to unselfconsciously show the fully engaged and fully alive person you are: You embolden yourself to seek justice; right wrongs; go where others have not; think differently; and step over boundaries and past barriers to unleash your best talents and self. 

The two-pronged Chinese Symbol for Crisis
'dangerous opportunity' 

Crisis--a Dangerous Opportunity Spurring You into Action

We are usually spurred into audacious action by a life crisis. While the initial response to a crisis is to retreat into yourself, the sharpness and discomfort of a crisis also rekindles your naturally audacious spirit to do battle--and suddenly you'll step forward to once again speak up to create the type of workplace, community, family or relationship you want.  

Choose to embrace and redirect your life experiences. Don't be afraid of the life crises and don't be afraid of retreating into yourself in response to the blow you take from dealing with them. 

Reframe what is happening when you retreat--learn to sit in the discomfort and view it as a time to regroup and build up your indomitable spirit to reemerge fully prepared to face life boldly and courageously.

Believe in Your Ability to Handle Whatever Life Brings You

Learn to rekindle trust in yourself, turn fear into faith in your future, and seek an Audacious Spirit!

Boldly Turn Fear into Faith

F E A R

 F  E  A  R

 F  E   A   R

False Evidence Appears Real

False Evidence Appears Real

          Forgo All  Insecurity  Trust  Hope

Forgo   All   Insecurity   Trust   Hope

Forgo All  Insecurity Trust Hope

Forgo All  Insecurity Trust Hope

F  A  I  T  H

F A I T H

F A I T H

There is in every

True woman’s heart

A spark of heavenly fire

Which lies dormant

In the broad daylight

Of prosperity-

But which kindles up

And beams and blazes

In the dark hour of adversity

Be Audacious!

Today I am Audacious!

• Extremely bold and daring!
• Recklessly brave and fearless!
• Shamelessly Bold and Brazen!
• Extremely Original and Highly Inventive!
• Recklessly bold in defiance of convention! 
• Lively; Unrestrained; Uninhibited!
• Courageous, Dauntless, Venturesome!
• Unabashed, Shameless; Impertinent, Forward!

'Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.' William James

Audacious Introverts and Extroverts: From Shut Down to Speaking Up

 

The Courage to Speak and Act 

Sometimes when life hits us a big blow--or perhaps many little ones--our resolve to tackle life head on is weakened, and we retreat into a timid place in which we lack the courage to take action, speak out, or tell our truth. 

Now you may falsely believe a timid spirit is confined to introverts and an exuberant spirit is only found among extroverts. But this is a misconception based on the caricature of a soft spoken introvert overwhelmed in a world of outspoken extroverts. 

Extroverts are just as susceptible as introverts to be shut down by life blows and need to find ways to coax themselves back out to face the world; and introverts are just as capable as extroverts to access and show their bold, courageous selves. 

Whether we're introverts or extroverts, we all access our inner and outer world at will, with introverts preferring to spend more time in the inner world and extroverts preferring to spend more time in the outer world.

But when life knocks us down, all of us--introverts and extroverts alike--retreat into our inner world to hold our own counsel and reconnect with our inner strength.

Accessing Your Bold-Audacious Spirit Inside

I know--audacious is not a word you generally think of when you think of an introvert and not always for an extrovert either. Yet it is a great word that describes a way of being we should all strive to achieve. 

An Audacious Spirit Promotes Strength

Unlike possessing a brassy, bossy, or bully spirit, an audacious spirit is one that promotes your strength to meet the world head on rather than one that is determined to control others into submission.

Unselfconsciously Fully-Engaged in Life

When you embrace your Audacious Spirit , you put fear aside to unselfconsciously show the fully engaged and fully alive person you are: You embolden yourself to seek justice; right wrongs; go where others have not; think differently; and step over boundaries and past barriers to unleash your best talents and self. 

The two-pronged Chinese Symbol for Crisis
'dangerous opportunity' 

Crisis--a Dangerous Opportunity Spurring You into Action

We are usually spurred into audacious action by a life crisis. While the initial response to a crisis is to retreat into yourself, the sharpness and discomfort of a crisis also rekindles your naturally audacious spirit to do battle--and suddenly you'll step forward to once again speak up to create the type of workplace, community, family or relationship you want.  

Choose to embrace and redirect your life experiences. Don't be afraid of the life crises and don't be afraid of retreating into yourself in response to the blow you take from dealing with them. 

Reframe what is happening when you retreat--learn to sit in the discomfort and view it as a time to regroup and build up your indomitable spirit to reemerge fully prepared to face life boldly and courageously.

Believe in Your Ability to Handle Whatever Life Brings You

Learn to rekindle trust in yourself, turn fear into faith in your future, and seek an Audacious Spirit!

Boldly Turn Fear into Faith

F E A R

 F  E  A  R

 F  E   A   R

False Evidence Appears Real

False Evidence Appears Real

          Forgo All  Insecurity  Trust  Hope

Forgo   All   Insecurity   Trust   Hope

Forgo All  Insecurity Trust Hope

Forgo All  Insecurity Trust Hope

F  A  I  T  H

F A I T H

F A I T H

There is in every

True woman’s heart

A spark of heavenly fire

Which lies dormant

In the broad daylight

Of prosperity-

But which kindles up

And beams and blazes

In the dark hour of adversity

Be Audacious!

Today I am Audacious!

• Extremely bold and daring!
• Recklessly brave and fearless!
• Shamelessly Bold and Brazen!
• Extremely Original and Highly Inventive!
• Recklessly bold in defiance of convention! 
• Lively; Unrestrained; Uninhibited!
• Courageous, Dauntless, Venturesome!
• Unabashed, Shameless; Impertinent, Forward!

'Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.' William James

Lightarted Living: Show Up. Speak Up. Don't Take the Bait.

Lightarted Living: Show Up. Speak Up. Don't Take the Bait.:  

Show Up. Speak Up. Don't Take the Bait.

 

'Let This Moment Be a Comma, Not a Period'

President Obama

What Storm is Brewing in Your Life?

What issue has stopped you in your tracks? Where do you need to gather your resources so you can turn this moment in your life into a comma, not a period? 

Perhaps you're dealing with an every day problem such as:

• Dealing with a bad boss or work place; 
• Trying to jump-start your career or finish college so you can get on with making a life; 
• Dealing with the break up of a marriage or relationship gone bad.

Whatever it is you need to deal with to move your life forward in a positive direction, keep your strategy for being calm and effective to three simple rules: 

💚Show Up.
💚Speak Up.
💚Don't Take the Bait.

Show Up

'A simple definition of life: 

The chance you've been waiting for.'

Robert Brault

Speak Up

'Be Impeccable With Your Word. 

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. 

Avoid using the word to speak 

against yourself or to gossip about others. 

Use the power of your word 

in the direction of truth and love.' 

Don Miguel Ruiz

Don't Take the Bait

'Speak when you are angry

and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.' 

Laurence J. Peter

Speak with a Calm, Bright Heart


'The moment we begin to 

fear the opinions of others 

and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, 

the divine floods of light and life 

no longer flow into our souls.'

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

I wish to live a life that causes my soul 

to dance inside my body

Dele Olanubi