What is Your Calculus of 'What Sparks Joy'?
“Mysteriously, as elusive as it
is, this moment--where the eye is what it sees,
where the heart is what it
feels--this moment shows us that what is real is sacred.”
Mark Nepo
Does it Spark Joy?
Okay, okay. I know as Marie Kando says I should 'tidy up' and let things go. I'm working on it. But this old piece of graph paper--fragile, fraying, and filled with numerical calculations done 40+ years ago by my physicist father--isn't one. It sparks joy.
When my father passed away five years ago I took this old decrepit paper imprinted with my father's energy. I didn't know what I'd do with it, but it spoke to me.
The 'scratch paper' with calculations in my father's scrawling handwriting was overlaid with the beautifully chaotic watercolor 'stain' as it sat beneath paper for doodling. If you look carefully beneath the chaos above you can still see the mathematical equations peeking through below.
Studying this family treasure that 'sparks joy' got me thinking about our individual needs for chaos or order in our lives, and whether we're more apt to spend time counting our days in 'Chronos time' or making our days count in 'Kairos time'.
"This Moment--where the eye is what it sees,
where the heart is what it feels..."
Mark Nepo
Which is More Pleasing for You--Chaos or Order?
What sparks joy in us is partly determined by our preference for living within the comfort of schedules and order, or living without boundaries and unencumbered by limits on time and space. For my father and me it was always the latter that excited us.
My father and I shared the ability to live in chaos and uncertainty. We both in our own ways embraced a sense of an ever-expanding universe and an ever-expanding sense of time in our respective universal play yards. What sparked joy in us? Letting our minds wander with interest, and running life experiments to see what happens.
Our calculus of time 'well spent' was defined in this way:
Maximum Meyerott Time = Maximum Entropy
In other words, life is meant to expand into an interesting stew of fascination and creative exploration that boils over into the next life. This is what 'sparks joy' for us.'Entropy' is a term that refers to everything in the universe moving from order to disorder or chaos. The origin of the word 'entropy' comes from the Greek word 'entropia', meaning 'a turning toward' or transformation (vocabulary.com).
To me, maximum entropy, or chaos, is the path to opening up my ultimate playground for sparking joy--the universe of possibilities. It is all about allowing an unstructured flow to my day in which I ease into what captures my attention.
This Moment--where the eye is what it sees,
where the heart is what it feels...
Mark Nepo
Chronos or Kairos Time?
Each of us is left to determine what constitutes a good use of our time and what sparks joy--and this brings us to Kairos living in which we make our days count.
It was the Greeks who gave us the two words for time: Chronos, or a quantitative concept of time, and Kairos, or a qualitative experience of time.
When you're led by Chronos time, you might say 'time marches on' as you create schedules laid out in sequential chronological order and you develop plans and deadlines to meet.
Our Western culture--especially work--is built on Chronos time. We're always a step behind and hurrying to catch up to be more productive and stay on schedule. It is the world of headaches and stress as we try to conform to the strict task master--the time clock.
When your life plays out in Kairos time, you choose to make the most of your time. Life flows, unfolds, and blossoms like a spring garden, with many things happening at once--and all in the right time. What is essential is at the heart of your day. This is the world of balance, contentment, and allowing. This is where you find your Zen moments and discover what sparks joy.
For me, when I'm living in 'Maximum Meyerott Time' it means I'm embracing a free-flowing use of time that allows a moment by moment transformation of my attention. It is the ultimate FLOW experience in which I'm steeped in an unencumbered exploration of whatever holds my fancy. It is the ultimate PLAY experience.
This is the essence of FLOW and child's play. This is living by Kairos rather than Chronos time.
This Moment--where the eye is what it sees,
where the heart is what it feels...
Mark Nepo
Kairos Time = The Essence of Time
While my father's ever-expanding universe focused on the relationships in the physical world from galaxies to nano-particles, my focus was on the relationships between all creatures great and small. Despite his interests spiraling far out into space and mine diving deep into our inner world we shared many points of overlap.
My father understood me and my expansive ways. One of my fondest memories is of the time he described me to a fellow physicist as I walked into his home when I was a young mother. As I carried in a massive amount of stuff needed for the two toddlers I had in tow, I heard my father on the phone talking to his physicist friend.
"Susan's like a gas," he said. "When she enters a room she fills every available space!"
I knew my father was smiling when he said it and I rather enjoyed that description of me. It still makes me chuckle! I AM a large space person and I'm expansive in every way.
Perhaps I'm a bit like Pigpen as the cloud of gas that I am expands into the world around me.--and this is very much what it feels like to live in Kairos time--unhurried and unrestrained.
This Moment--where the eye is what it sees,
where the heart is what it feels...
Mark Nepo
Discovering the Simple Flow of Life in the Right Time--Even at Work
Kairos time is 'that which sparks joy' or 'that which takes you down the path of flow'. It is an experience of time in which you're totally absorbed in the moment. Immersed in Kairos time you're unhurried by deadlines, plans, or schedules. It is a life rich with meaning and full of relationships.
But if you live and work in a Western Culture that favors Chronos time, how do you ever find your way to living in Kairos time? Here's the secret: You make a conscious decision to throw an internal switch to bring the Kairos experience into the middle of Chronos living.
No one else needs to know you made the switch, however people will notice there is something different about you. You'll be calmer, more accessible, creative, and productive as you live as you are with that spark that comes from living with flow.
What is this internal switch to throw? It's deciding to live as a 'Peak Performer'--defined as someone who is internally driven and chooses to spend 2/3 of the day doing things you enjoy.
I know, easier said than done--especially if you're in an uninspiring job. Surprisingly, not all Peak Performers are in jobs they love. What makes the difference in Peak Performers is they find a way to enjoy what they must do--or move on.
To spend 2/3 of your day engaged in activities you enjoy requires you to really consider what it is that sparks joy in you and to lead your life based on it--even at work.
When you're job hunting, if you seek work that contains elements that sparks joy in you, you'll more easily convey excitement for the work in a resume or interview instead of stumbling over yourself in self-consciousness. When you're in flow, self-consciousness is nonexistent.
Self-consciousness, fear of failure, and fear of falling behind have no place in Kairos time. Your focus is on this moment that has captured your attention and sparks joy.
Lao Tzu's description of nature's timing illustrates Kairos.
"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished' . Grass does not try to grow. Water does not try to flow. Flowers do not try to bloom. They just do. There is no hurry in plant time, just the simple flow of life in the right time."
It is up to us to suck as much joy and satisfaction out of our life as we can during our short stay on earth. If you've been stuck in a hurried and joyless time, think about allowing yourself to move into moments of Kairos living. Give up racing time to allow yourself to contemplate what sparks joy in the moment, and then relax into it.
“Mysteriously, as elusive as it is, this moment--where the eye is what it sees,
where the heart is what it feels--this moment shows us that what is real is sacred.”
Mark Nepo
How would you describe 'time well spent'?
What is your calculus of 'what sparks joy'?
For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.
4 comments:
Sue, I love your father's description of you as a gas! I think I'm probably a self-contained liquid. I like to live on Kairos time in an orderly environment.
Yes, that's the 'Judger' in you---preferring to live a planful and orderly life as compared to my 'perceiver' self loving the unfettered!
Oh, my dear friend..what an extraordinary relationship you had with this intriguing, brilliant dad of yours. You were both extraordinarily fortunate to have one another. I too live in a world of chaos and do all I can to keep my head on straight. My chaos is more in the line of emotional and intellectual chaos and you, dear Sue, have always stood by me, sharing your gift of love and reason. As always...thank you. I love you
Well, Normie dear, chaos can be good! From chaos we arise and to chaos we go! Embrace it!
xoxoxox
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