Friday, September 1, 2017

Do You Carry Negative Experiences with You? The Parable of the Naked Lady and the Monks


"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."  Johann Wofgang von Goethe

Uncovering the Naked Truth

Do you know the story of two monks who happen upon a naked woman standing by a river? It goes something like this:

The woman wants to cross the river and asks the Monks if one would carry her to the other side. One Monk agrees while the other steps back in horror, but says nothing.
When they get to the other side, the Holy Man carrying the woman puts her down at the bank of the river and the two Monks walk on, traveling the next 10 miles in silence. 
The Monk who maintains his purity by refusing to touch the woman ponders the incorrectness of the other's action. As he walks down the road, he simply cannot get the image of the naked woman out of his head. He plays the image of his Brother carrying the naked woman over and over. 
Finally at the end of the day the uncontaminated Monk can stand it no longer. He breaks his silence and says, 'how is it you soiled your body and mind by touching that naked woman?' 
To which the other Monk replies, 'I left her at the bank of the river while you, on the other hand, have carried her with you all day.'


Two Faced

Which Monk Are You? 

We all carry the spirits of both Monks within us. 
There is the side of us who jumps into life with simple, straightforward non-judgmental action, and the other side who is filled with shoulds, don'ts, rules and judgments--who continues to ruminate and second-guess actions and experiences long after they're over. 

Which Monk do you relate to most? 
Do you spend more time carrying negative thoughts and experiences with you? Or do you strive to walk through your negative experiences so you can let them go, and move on with your life?

Feeling Alone and Vulnerable

'Naked Lady' Experiences Leave You Feeling Vulnerable

Let me share one of my 'naked lady' stories with you. Early in my career, when I was a trusting and fresh-faced professional, I had a charismatic colleague I admired very much who methodically turned other co-workers against me. This was a very public experience that left me feeling exposed and vulnerable, and influenced my outlook for years. 

Initially when I revisited my old stomping grounds after moving away, my mind would be drawn to revisit that uncomfortable experience, and I had to deal with the feeling everyone was judging me each time we came in contact.

Yet years down the road as I was conversing with a colleague who was a major player in THE EVENT I discovered she had no memory of it at all. My naked lady experience I carried within me as a HUGE memory she put down immediately after things transpired. 

Furthermore, when I checked in with other people who were involved in my BIG EVENT, their recollection of the experience was minuscule or non-existent. 
There was no group memory of what transpired--only what I carried with me in my mind. I could have put my 'naked lady' experience down instead of carrying it with me all those years.


What 'Naked Lady Experience' are you carrying with you today? 

💧 What events, experiences or embarrassments are your 'naked lady' experiences causing you to feel exposed and vulnerable?
💧 Have you been publicly embarrassed, laid off, divorced, or 'made a fool' by a love interest?
💧 Are you embarrassed because you've lost your home, failed to get a job, or while you may have a job you're being underpaid for your skills and talents?

💓 What do you need to name, examine and let go? 💓

Most people are too busy with their own lives to maintain an inventory of your negative events and experiences. Don't let your 'naked lady' experiences get a toe-hold in your mind. Let them go and move on unburdened with negative experiences of the past.

'Don't carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones.' Sun Gazing



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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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2 comments:

Jean | DelightfulRepast.com said...

Sue, this is sooo good. I found myself just the other day ruminating and second-guessing something from 25 years ago - something I should've just "set down at the bank."

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

It is truly amazing, Jean, how those starkly negative experiences live on in our minds well past their expiration dates! We need to shoo them out the door!