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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off! Overcoming Stress During Life Transitions

'With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.' Dr. Wayne Dyer

What's Bothering You? 

What life events are you currently reacting to? What's bothering you? Where do you feel everything's about to change and you don't have a handle on it?
Are you:
  • Worrying about the Presidential Race not going in the direction you want? 
  • Worrying about other people taking your rights away or your children's future opportunities?
  • Stepping into a relationship or contemplating tying or untying the knot?
  • Moving from renting into home ownership or thinking about purchasing a home?
  • Becoming or thinking about becoming a parent, or sending a child off to school?
  • Changing jobs or figuring out retirement?
  • Dealing with chronic health, pain or abuse issues--or the loss of a loved one?

'No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.' Dr. Wayne Dyer

Times of Transition are Unsettling 
Recently, I've had conversations with people dealing with one or more of these life transitions. As this IS life, no one is immune to dealing with the ever-evolving landscape of life. 
No matter who we are, or what life changes we're experiencing--whether 'good' or 'bad'--times of transition are unsettling and disruptive. Our fears and concerns during these transitions lead us to initially freeze up, and temporarily suspend us in a frozen state of inertia as we try to figure things out in our heads.
Sometimes the number of transitions and worries stack up and we're overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. Even if we try to push the fear and worry out of our head, we can still feel the dread deep in our guts making us even more anxious about the now unnamed, free floating fear.
In the midst of it we want answers NOW as we tire of feeling we're all alone living in limbo and we contemplate the future uncertainty and what it all means. We want the pain and uncertainty to go away. We want a moment of peace and tranquility.
But we don't always get what we want when we want it. More often we're left to figure out how we can persevere and endure the uncertain times and changes.  And through these difficult times we find our strength and resiliency and learn what strong stuff we're really made of.

'Relaxation is who you are; Tension is who you think you should be.'
Future Focus Creates Fear and Worry
What makes us tense in transitions is our focus on the future. We fear what won't happen that we want to have happen, and we fear what will happen we don't want to happen. Our fears, expectations and should-thinking leak into our consciousness and muddle our ability to think and act clearly so we do nothing at all.

'Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.' Dr. Wayne Dyer

Change Your Focus from Future Tense to Present Ease

How do we ease our minds and begin the journey back to taking positive actions to lead us forward to the next stage of a fully-engaged and worthy life?

When you feel overwhelmed and stuck in 'future tense', stop, take a breath, and ease back into the present. Get off the worry track. Take a day off from fixating on your fears or thinking about 'your situation', and engage in activities that let you know you are glad to be alive.

Let it be. Let today unfold without you worrying it to death. 
Give Voice to Your Inner Thoughts. Get your fears and expectations out of the dryer drum churning round and round in your head by talking with a confidant. As long as you keep the same stuff churning in your head, you maintain your fear and faulty thinking. By openly giving voice to your thoughts, you open yourself up to taking action today in ways to positively influence tomorrow.
Take One Positive Step. Step into the day with one action that brings you into enjoying today. Get out and spend time with people you are happy to have in your life NOW to laugh and celebrate your friendship.  Find a way to make a difference in one person's life each day.
Sometimes we just need to remember--life is to be enjoyed. Stop letting your life be determined by fear and worry. Focus on putting memorable activities into your life each day instead.
'To change one's life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.'   William James

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Susan J Meyerott loves helping people become more fully themselves, particularly those working through anxiety, life and career transitions, relationships, and self-esteem issues. She provides a nonjudgmental, growth-oriented environment for you to become the person you’re meant to be—while appreciating the richness of who you already are. Learn more at Lightarted Living Blog


Jean | said...

Sue, you've done it again -- given me just what I need for this day. This post is my new all-time favorite of all your brilliant posts!

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Thanks, Jean! I'm glad this arrived when you needed it. There is so much happening in the world and people's personal lives right now. Sometimes we just need to stop and breathe! Hugs.

Madeline Vance said...

The paintings here are really beautiful

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Thanks, Madeline! Now when are you going to share more of yours with me? Hugs