Frozen Hearts: Grieving the Loss of a Loved One
If you've been grieving the loss of a dear one, sometimes it can be difficult to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other.
In the aftermath of the loss your heart can feel heavy and frozen in time, and it can feel like you'll never be happy again. During the initial stages of grieving its hard to get the motivation to care for yourself, but to get on with living it is essential.
Even while you are sitting in your sadness, find a way to care for yourself. You are important to others and you deserve to be softly cared for--by yourself and others--as you're dealing with your grief.
Getting through Grief--Weathering the Storm
Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, traveled on her life adventure, with change and uncertainty her constant companions. Her grandmother--a major influence in Margaret's life--sent her on her journey with the sage advice to 'Always build a nest in the eye of the storm'.
This grandmotherly wisdom, applied to the emotional storm brought on by the loss of a loved one can help us begin the journey of getting through our grief and sadness.
The toughest thing to do when you're in the middle of grieving a loss is to take care of yourself. You lose the desire to eat, push your body to the limits with lack of sleep and isolate yourself in your grief—leaving you in a constant state of emotional overload.
You can't rush the grieving process, but if you allow yourself to 'build a nest in the eye of the storm', you can begin to create a cushion to rest and a space where healing can begin.
Sit in your grief as long as you need to--and when you're ready--begin to build a nest where you can gain moments of comfort despite the grief.
Start with the basics to nourish your body and rest your nerves. Your body likes a regular rhythm that includes regular heart beats, breaths, sleep patterns, eating times, moving times, and rest time.
When You're Ready--Begin to Rebalance Your Life
- Start by getting your natural rhythms back in place.
- Eat regular, well-balanced meals that nourish you.
- Pace yourself--put a time limit on dealing with your grief.
- Choose to have daily contact with uplifting, supportive people who can listen and encourage you in your strength and support you through your grief.
- If you're caring for others, take care of yourself first, so you have the strength and endurance to continue to help others who depend on you.
|Within your Heart keep one still secret spot where dreams may go....|
Create a Place of Safety and Security
We all do our best healing when we do it from a place of safety and security. The key is to find a way to create your nest---despite the grief. It may not be easy, but it is essential.
'The holiest of all holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart,
When the full river of feeling overflows;—
The happy days unclouded to their close;
The sudden joys that out of darkness start
As flames from ashes; swift desires that dart
Like swallows singing down each wind that blows!
White as the gleam of a receding sail,
White as a cloud that floats and fades in air,
White as the whitest lily on a stream,
These tender memories are; —a fairy tale
Of some enchanted land we know not where,
But lovely as a landscape in a dream.'
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.
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