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Monday, July 6, 2015

10 Things I Learned By Taking the Advice I Give to Others

'A wise man once said nothing'... Spirit Science

Put on Your Hard Hat--Emotions Boiling Over!

I don't often get spitting mad, but when I do I find its nearly impossible to make healthy decisions for myself the moment I'm catapulted into that deep emotional fog of anger, frustration and disappointment. 

In an explosive wave of emotional turmoil brought on by people or life letting me down I want to lash out, walk out, and spit out a few !*@#* expletives. (If I had a towel I'd throw that out too!)

In a flash of anger, my reptilian brain puts on it's hard hat and goes into combat mode-- playing out emphatic scenes of fight or flight reactions--while my conscious brain goes on high alert to reluctantly enforce impulse control over the reptilian brain's alluring reactive desires. 

Somewhere deep in the recesses of my brain I understand I must give myself time for the inner battle to subside so I can remove the hard hat causing me to dig in my heels and develop hardening of the attitudes.

I now let go all bitterness and disappointment with the world

It Takes 3 Days to Release the Bitterness and Get Back to FLOW

You'd think after we've been through this roller coaster of emotions  a few times we could figure out how to calm ourselves quickly, but the nature of the emotional fog is it clouds our judgement every time. 

I've learned it takes at least three days to release the cloud of anger, frustration and disappointment to the point where the battling factions of our mind can walk away from the fight and we can begin to see and think clearly. 

I've also learned my own best course of action to get back to a fully satisfying state of mind and a life that flows is to take the advice I so willingly give to others.
Our saving grace against acting as our own worst enemy in times of anger is we really do want to have good outcomes for our lives. 

I now let go all rage and resentment towards others

The Wisdom of Taking Our Own Advice 

While we may be amazingly profound advising others in emotional pain, we're amazingly clueless dealing with our own. If we can tap into that wisdom we spread to others we can put ourselves back on a healthy course of action and good decision making.

We hold the keys to unlocking the wisdom within us but sometimes we need help finding the key when it is temporarily misplaced in the fog. 

Below are 10 things I've learned to do better in my own life by taking the advice I give to others. 

All things seemingly good or bad work in my favor

What Would I Advise Others to Do?

The ultimate question to ask yourself is 'what would I tell others to do?' 

1. Do Nothing for 3 Days

'The two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip; to avoid this, the warrior treats each situation as if it was unique and never resorts to formulae, recipes or other people's opinions.'  Paulo Coelho

2. Acknowledge and Sit in Your Feelings

By giving yourself time to wind up and fully acknowledge your anger, frustration and disappointment you can more quickly calm down and get to a place you can consider the advice you'd give to others you love and care about. 

Check in with someone you trust to help you look from outside. It's always easier to know what someone else should do than to see what we should do ourselves.

Write a letter you won't send. Write as many of these soul-bearing, 'no holds bar' letters until the anger, frustration and disappointment has run it's course. When you're ready--let it all go and get ready to move on. 

3.  Do 1st Things 1st 

Get all your ducks in a row. Do your research. Get another job or figure out retirement before you quit. Consider the consequences of your actions. Most of all, sit in your anger until you're ready to put it down so you can think clearly.

4. Choose to be Strengthened, not Hardened by Your Life Experiences 

'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.'  Virginia Satir

5. Act Calmly, Not Out of Anger

'To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.' William H Walton

Don't be in a hurry to respond publicly. Wait a day before you hit the send button or post that Facebook rant. Share selectively instead with people you trust who understand and support you.
6. Quit the Job, Activity, or Relationship when the Time is Right for You

Don't leave money, love or opportunity on the table--but don't linger in a situation that is soul-killing or one that thrusts you into not caring so you die on the job or in the relationship. At the point you can't be effective or you hate coming to work, consider what other direction you want to go.

'I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.' E.B. White

7. Act in Ways that Provide the Best Outcomes for You Long-term

'You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision and a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand.' Woodrow Wilson

Take time to consider your actions, options and choices. 

Consider the pro's and con's of staying the course or going in a different direction. Ask others what they would do in your situation; ask yourself what you would advise someone else to do.

8. If Push, then Pull; If Pull, then Push

Move in the direction you are being pushed or pulled--i.e. if the person you're in a relationship says he needs more space 'give him enough rope to hang himself'.

9. Use the negative energy to energize you to take positive action

'When you are enthusiastic about what you do, you feel this positive energy. It's very simple.' Paulo Coelho

10. Remember all things seemingly good or bad always work in your favor 

Always look for the next great opportunity a seemingly bad experience opens up for you. 

'We must develop a complete receptiveness to all experience - rejecting nothing, judging nothing, and resisting nothing.' From Resist Nothing by Eckhart Tolle and Kim Eng

Life continues to unfold in miraculous ways....believe it!

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

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