Developing Trust and Connecting with Others

'I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'  Maya Angelou

How High is Your 'Hello Factor'?

Go ahead--run an experiment—starting right now, consciously greet and acknowledge each and every person who crosses your path for the next 24 hours. Notice--as you increase your 'Hello Factor' does your 'Happiness Factor' increase?

Hello ~ Bonjour ~ Hola ~ Ciao ~ Hey There

"Good morning!"
"Have a nice day."

"Nice chatting."
"Good to meet you."
"Love you."
"Be well."
"Peace be with you."

Greeting another when your paths cross is such a simple social grace. It takes no time to look another in the eye, smile, and offer a simple greeting--and it does so much to ground you and improve your connection with others.

On the other hand, when you fail to acknowledge and greet people--whether co-worker, family, or stranger—you leave the others feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked. As a result you end up feeling disconnected and isolated yourself.

When you fail to acknowledge and greet people you leave them feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked.

To Feel Connected Make Others Feel Welcome

We all do our best work, bring our best discussions and enjoy connecting with the people around us when we feel welcome and appreciated.

No matter what the situation, we all want to feel others are happy to be with us. From our first day of work to our last, we want to feel welcome and included in the workplace. When we join online discussions, family gatherings, or social groups we want to feel like a welcome addition.

The art of making people feel welcome is simple. In all situations convey the four messages all people want to hear:

The Four Messages All People Want to Hear

I'm glad I'm here.
I'm glad you're here.
I care about you.
I know that I know.

You don't have to actually say those words--you need to convey the four welcoming messages through your actions. The simple social nicety of greeting people is a great first step. When you convey these four messages to the people you interact with you'll discover you connect with people faster--and your own happiness factor will rise.

Check it out: Are You Connecting?

• How do you make the people around you feel? When you're comfortable with yourself others feel comfortable with you. Be other conscious, not self-conscious. Reach out to others with a kind comment and smile.
• Do you practice the art of making others feel welcome and connected? Or are you so concerned about making an impression, getting your work done, and finding the next opportunity that you can't be bothered with how you make others feel? The key to connecting with others is to make them feel you have all the time in the world for them in a few short moments of greetings.

‎"A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at home." Anon

Thank you to Kim Miller for this quote.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Staying Positive During Life Transitions

'The best way to live is to be, simply be.'  Yogi Bhajan

Unsettling Times of Transition

Are you finding it difficult to stay positive in today's crazy world of work?

Sure, the economy is slowly recovering, but it still has its ups and downs. You may find yourself in the middle of either making a transition or thinking about making a transition in your career.

But with all the uncertainty about the future, you may be left feeling lethargic, unsettled, and unmotivated to take the next step.

Perhaps you're:

• Unemployed and still without a job after months of searching;
• Employed, but in a job you hate and feel compelled to keep, even though you fear you may be next on the chopping block;
• An independent business owner whose business is failing in the current economy, but you lack the energy to develop a new business plan.
• A recent college graduate worried about finding the right job to launch your career.

Change from Future Tense to Present Ease


 No matter who you are, or what your work situation is, when you're in the middle of a transition it's always unsettling--leading you to freeze up, and become frozen in inactivity and inertia.

 What makes you tense is your focus on the future. You fear what won't happen that you want to have happen, or you fear what will happen that you don't want to happen.

 When you feel overwhelmed and stuck in 'future tense', it's time to stop, take a breath, and ease back into the present. Get off the worry track. Take a day off from thinking about 'your situation', and engage in activities that let you know you are glad to be alive.

'The best day—Going to bed with a dream, waking up with a purpose.' Exceptional Living

Be--Just Be

Tough times require, well, sometimes, sitting back, doing nothing, and thinking about something else.

 Sometimes we just need to stop to remember--life is to be enjoyed. Instead of letting your life be determined by fear and worry, focus on putting memorable activities into your life each day.

 To stay positive during times of transition, find a way to do something of great personal importance each day so you can 'write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year'.

 What Gives Your Life Meaning?

What is one activity of great personal importance you could engage in today that would let you write on your heart 'today is the best day of the year'?

Don't think about it--do it.

'And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.'  Friedrich Nietzsche

 

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Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Mark Twain Makes Learning Easy

'A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.' Mark Twain

Carrying a Cat by the Tail

Mark Twain can evoke an image like no other and bring it home to rest. Today's Twain-ism elicited a full out belly laugh in me, swiftly followed by the image of carrying a cat by the tail searing into my brain.

While I've never actually carried a cat by its tail, I know exactly what it means ---and you do too.

The Shocking Truth

We often choose our learning lessons, by bucking the wise counsel of others or our own better judgment. Sometimes we just have to step in and experience that wild ride for ourselves. We suspect what we're about to do is not a good idea, but we're going with it any way.

As a kid growing up surrounded by cow pastures and orchards, I spent a lot of time running around with neighborhood kids exploring the world around us. One day a pack of us decided it would be fun to touch an electric fence with all of us holding hands just to see what would happen. The person at the front of the line touched the fence with a single piece of wet grass and that current whipped through our bodies, zapping us with a wallop.

Did I suspect it was a bad idea? Yep. Did I do it anyway? Yep. Did I do it again? Nope. Like carrying a cat by the tail, I learned first-hand why that wasn't such a good idea--and I've never forgotten the experience.

Up Close and Personal Experiences--and a Good Story

But not all 'carrying a cat by the tail' experiences go against our good judgment. They're just great up close and personal experiences, like my shocking experience, that pack their own wallop--meaningful, relevant, interesting and fun.

A full 75% of the population in the United States learns best through experience. And the other 25% of us who just imagine and learn? We, too, benefit greatly through hands-on, interactive learning. Nothing gets something into our memory and enhances our learning like hands-on, cat-by-the-tail experience--and a good story.

Don't expect to just read that instruction manual and expect to retain the contents. It's boring. Do something with the information instead--something interactive--it'll stick better. And if the way you interact with the information creates a great, outlandish image or story, it's all the better for helping you remember the details.

Mark Twain was the master of outlandish. And that's why we remember so many of his sayings. So liven up your daily learning experiences by taking a cue from the master himself. Find your own outrageous (but safe) way to shoot that needed information into your brain.

Design Your Own Carry-a-Cat-by-the-Tail Learning Experience

·         Where in your life do you need to step in and gain first-hand experience?

·         What outlandish image, story or experience can you create to make the learning experience more relevant, meaningful and fun?

P.S. No animals were harmed in the process of writing this post!



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Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

Cherish is the word I use to describe

all the feelings that I have for you deep inside.

A tribute to all of our dear mothers,

present or passed.

There is no bond more important than

the bond between mother and child.

Hold a place in your heart to

cherish the relationship with your mother.

Keep her close to your heart year round.

Mothers, cherish your children,

and let them know how deeply they are loved

every day of the year.

To send this Mother's Day Card on, click m below to email.

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Get Better Sleep with Sweet Dreams Bedtime Routine

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond the winning.  Lao Tzu

 
Let it all Go

 Is insomnia--or the inability to get and stay asleep--disrupting your ability to stay focused and productive at work? Are you having difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or both?  Give this sweet dreams bedtime routine a try.

Insomnia is a common sleep disorder affecting workers juggling tight deadlines and stressing over job security. In this chicken and egg situation, work stress and worry can prevent you from getting enough quality sleep, and poor quality sleep can prevent you from being focused and productive at work.

A Poor Night Sleep

·         Makes you drowsy and ineffective at work

·         Affects your memory and ability to learn

·         Makes it difficult to think clearly

A Good Night Sleep

·         Gives you a better outlook on the day

·         Refreshes you

·         Keeps you alert and engaged

Sweet Dreams Bedtime Routine

If work worries and pressures are disrupting your ability to wind down and gain restful sleep use this sweet dreams bedtime routine to ease you out of high drive.

·         Turn off computer. The physical act of shutting down your computer signals your mind to shut off too.

·         Turn down lights. Your body takes cues from the environment. Dimming lights signals your body it's time to wind down.

·         Take warm bath or shower. The warmth of the water relaxes your muscles.

·         Turn on soothing music. Lie down in bed with your eyes closed listening to the music. Focus on your breathing--breathe slowly and deeply for 15 minutes—inhale for four counts, and exhale for eight—timing your breaths to the music. Sleep.

Sweet Dreams!

'To sleep, perchance to dream.' Shakespeare

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Life Knock You a Blow? Three Timeless Tips for Starting Over

 

 

No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. The Buddha

 

What's happening in your life right now?

• Do you feel like you've dodged a bullet when you see what other people are dealing with yet you're still fearful about your future?
• Have you faced so many hardships and challenges you're left feeling hopeless and discouraged about ever finding your way back to a normal life?
• Are you tired of thinking about your current situation and just wish someone would do something about it?

How to Start Over

 

When things get really tough it can be difficult to see your way out. Here are 3 timeless tips to starting over and getting unstuck after having your life disrupted by economic hardship, natural disaster, or personal crises.

 

1. Take the First Step

Not much has changed in the thousands of years humans have been facing and recovering from the hardships of life. As Lao Tzu stated so long ago, 'a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step'.

 

We fuel our inner strength and sense of resiliency by taking action. But sometimes when faced with 'a journey of a thousand miles' we can be overwhelmed with the daunting task of where to begin. What is the first step?

 

The good news is any first step will do. Your hope, resiliency, and personal strength will grow stronger with every step you take. It doesn't matter what the first step is. As you experience yourself being pro-active and physically taking action, your ability to cope and hope will improve. So start with a single step--any step-- and then another.

 

2. Take Small Steps

As an old Chinese Proverb says, 'The man who moved a mountain is the one who started taking away the small stones'. When you're in total overwhelm mode, start 'taking away the small stones'--one small step, then another.

 

3. Build a Nest in the Eye of the Storm

 

As Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, traveled on her life adventure, change and uncertainty were a way of life. Her grandmother--a major influence in Margaret's life-- sent her on her journey with the sage advice to 'Always build a nest in the eye of the storm'.

 

This grandmotherly wisdom has had a strong influence in my own life. Whenever major life events cause upheaval in my life, my mind returns to this saying, and I think how important it is to apply to my own life.

 

One thing I know--when you're in the middle of a crisis, the hardest thing is to think of taking care of yourself. You can forget to nourish your body, push your body to the limits with lack of sleep, and remain in a constant state of emotional overload. If you can allow yourself to focus on building a nest in the eye of the storm, you can begin to create a cushion to rest and space for thinking.

 

But what does it mean to build a nest in the eye of the storm? When life is swirling around you like a hurricane--you find a way to create a home-base of comfort-- or nest-- from which you can rebuild your daily existence.

 

Start with the basics to nourish your body and rest your nerves. Your body likes a regular rhythm that includes regular heart beats, breaths, sleep patterns, eating times, moving times, and rest time.

 

Start by getting your natural rhythms back in place. Eat regular, well-balanced meals that nourish you. Pace yourself--put a time limit on dealing with your difficulties--and take regular rest breaks. Go to bed early. If you're caring for others, take care of yourself first, so you have the strength and endurance to continue to help others.

 

We all do our best thinking and acting when we do it in a place of safety and security. The key is to find a way to create your nest---no matter what storm is brewing. It may not be easy, but it is essential.

 

Life is a cycle, always in motion; if good times have moved on, so will times of trouble! Indian Proverb


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 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

 Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event? 
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.