Every Dog will have his Day--and You will too!

A Dog having his Day

"Let Hercules himself do what he may, the cat will mew, and dog will have his day."
 [1600 Shakespeare Hamlet v. i. 286]

Life Got You Down?

Why the hangdog expression? What has you concerned about your future?

• Have you recently graduated and are now worrying about getting a job?
• Are you worried about keeping your job or wanting to quit a bad one?
• Have you failed to get a job, or been rejected by a love interest?
• Are you in a situation that isn't good for you that you need to get out of?

Every Dog will have his Day--and you will too!

Just look at Jack's dog out for a walk 'having his day'. This is a dog totally unconcerned about how the day will unfold. As he walks down the street with his tail and head held high, he knows 'Euerie dog hath his day' --and his day is today. Could this be you too?

Rest assured, like all the dogs and people who have come before you--you'll have your day. The dog-eared expression 'every dog has his day' has been around for over 450 years telling us to 'relax' you'll get your day; 'stop worrying' your time will come.

• If you failed to get that job, or have been rejected by a love interest--never mind--your day is coming.
• If you're currently in a bad job or relationship--just know your day of resolve for changing your circumstances is coming.
• If your time to shine has yet to come--it's on its way.

Every Dog has her Day--And Your Heyday is Coming

Like 'every dog has its day', 'Heyday' is an expression that has been around since the 1600s and goes back to the use of 'hey' as an expression of great enthusiasm and happiness. 

 

Know your Heyday--or time of maximum power, prosperity, or popularity in which you experience your greatest vigor and success is coming.

 

SO HEY! Stay open to the possibilities that are before you--your day to shine, succeed, and be loved are just around the corner. Like Jack's dog walking down the street, keep your head high and high-tail it down the road today keeping a positive expectation for the bones coming your way.

Definition of Hangdog Expression: Sad, Dejected

First known use of the Expression: 1677

Meet the Artist

 Jack Rode, 3rd Grader

 

 

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter

 

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

 

 

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

 



Tale of Two Wolves

"Compassion for animals is intimately connected with goodness of character; and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals is not a good man." Arthur Schopenhauer

 An Old Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside us.

"My son", he said, "the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

"The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

"Which wolf wins?"

The grandfather simply replied, "The one you feed."

Which wolf will you feed today?

 

Meet the Artist

 Ashton Boyd, 3rd Grader

 

 

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.



It's Fun to have Fun, But You have to Know How to Get Started

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." Gilda Radner

Its Fun to have Fun, But you have to Know How--to get Started

"Susan--I spend all my time working--or thinking about what I need to do--so I'm missing out on having fun. Your article on 'Having Fun' helped me--but I just don't know how to get started. Maybe you can give me a suggestion to help me start to play." Cynthia

Cynthia, If you want to be a 'Happy Dog' who knows how to play, as Dr Seuss said, 'Its fun to have fun but you have to know how'.

The most important trick I use with myself on an ongoing basis to divert my attention from the work to play is the 'one minute trick'. But when you need to totally jump start yourself into the play mode start with the rip and tear pleasure hunt.

The Rip and Tear Pleasure Hunt

The rip and tear pleasure hunt is a stress-free way to overcome the inertia to getting started having fun. It can help you discover a fun-filled life full of meaning and pleasure, without you making a major time or money commitment.

Here's how it works:

1. Collect Ideas. Without giving it too much thought, as you go through newspapers, magazines, adult education calendars, college catalogues, brochures--if something catches your eye--rip it out and put it in a Rip and Tear Pleasure Hunt folder.

2. When You Feel Like it, Take a Closer Look. When you get curious about what interests you, sit down with a cup of coffee or tea, open the folder and as quickly as you can separate the various 'interest items' into three piles: 'Very interesting', 'Somewhat interesting', and 'On second glance, I don't know why I chose this'.

3. Ask Yourself: If I were to choose one activity, which one would it  be? Take your 'Very Interesting' pile and look through it more carefully. Ask yourself: If I were to choose one activity, which one would it be? At this stage, don't worry whether you have the time, money or inclination to follow through.

4. Take One Small Step to Collect More Information. Not sure you have the time, money or energy to follow through with your most interesting item? Call for more information, ask others for their opinions, commit to attend one session of a 10-week course--take one small step to collect more information. Again, at this stage you are merely collecting more information, not committing your time, money and energy.

5. If You Like What You See--Follow Through. If the information you collect on your most interesting item sparks your interest--go for it.

6. Keep Collecting and Following Through. Keep adding to your Rip & Tear Pleasure Hunt. Your interests will change over time. By continuing to go through these steps, you will develop a stress-free way to discover a life full of joy, meaning and fun!

The One-Minute Trick

Here's where the one minute trick comes in--commit to taking the first step to participating in something fun--but you only have to stay one minute. If after one minute you decide its not for you, leave.

• Go to the first pottery class and talk with the teacher.
• Go to the gym, get out of your car and walk into the facility.
• Go to the volunteer orientation to see if this is the right opportunity for you.

The hardest part is always overcoming inertia--taking the first step--even when its something you would enjoy doing! That is why the key is to keep the first step so small you bypass thinking about it and just do it--without worrying about following through further.


Start with a 5 minute Uplift in Your Spirit

To get yourself in the mood, take 5 minutes to watch and listen to an amazing clip taking you dancing around the world. I love this video. It makes me a happy dog every time I view it (which I do often).

Click on the link then find the link to '5 minutes to the joy of living' on the page. You can't watch this short video without feeling happy and a part of this world. Don't let the fun pass you by. Get involved in something meaningful to you.

http://lightartedliving.blogspot.com/2012/08/feeling-weary-had-enough-take-moment.html

 Meet the Artist

 Preston Powers, 3rd Grader

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter 

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

 

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates 

 

For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

All Work and No Play Makes You No Fun! (Just Ask Your Dog!)

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." Edward Hoagland

It is Good to Play

One day when my son was four I had him at home with me as I was rushing to meet a deadline. Sean loved to play. So I pulled his Legos out for him to play with to distract him while I worked. But what he wanted most was to play with me.

Every 10 minutes or so he would come up to me and say, 'come play with me'. But there I was staring at my computer, sweating bullets, with a blank mind as I tried unsuccessfully to come up with a topic for my weekly article. I would smile at him and say, "just a little bit longer, Sean. Mommy has to work, and then I'll come play."

Finally, when he'd had enough of my putting him off he simply said, "Mommy, it is good to play."

How could I argue with that? I shut the computer off and played with him the rest of the day. And what do you know? The idea for an article that had so eluded me earlier simply popped into my head when I stopped working at it. It is good to play.

The Play Stance

Why as adults do we procrastinate on having fun? Dogs, like kids, know it is good to play. Who doesn't like watching dogs take the play stance shown in 8 year old Carlos Torres's painted tile above? With their tails wagging and rear-ends in the air, dogs bow down to others to invite play.

We could learn from these gurus of play, but too often we just work, work, work. We bow our heads and furrow our brows to invite work, not play.

Instead of responding to the invitations to play, we send our kids and dogs off with a pat on the head and get back to the work at hand. We simply do not know when to put the work down. It's not good for us...and it's not good for our bodies.




Every Body Needs to Play

'Every body needs to play" says 3rd grader Iris Mazariegos-Rodas. Children just intuitively know it does a body good to go out and take a romp. So why do we forget about the importance of play as we become adults?

It is good to have dogs and kids in our lives to remind us that everybody needs to play, smile, laugh and enjoy life. If you have one of these gurus of play in your life--pay attention! Accept their invitations to play. Our minds crave fun distractions. Why not give in to that craving and satisfy your need to play.

• When was the last time you did something for the sheer fun of it?
• Have you let work or work worries consume your life?
• What invitations to play have you rejected?
• What are 3 fun things you could do this week to let your inner dog or kid out?

 "You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!" Dave Barry

Meet the Artists

 Carlos Torres, 3rd Grader Walker Elementary School 

Iris Mazariegos-Rodas, 3rd Grader Walker Elementary 

The Dog Tile Art Project for the Jackson County Animal Shelter

Debi Blair's 3rd grade class at Walker Elementary school in Ashland, Oregon painted tiles to create a bright, cheerful entrance to the dog kennels at the Jackson County Animal Shelter. Their creative and fun spirits come through in their art. Come on down to the Shelter to see what a difference their tile art makes.

 Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

 For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Life IS Good

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." Anatole France

 

  

Put a Paint Job on the World--Look through the Eyes of a Child

I had the pleasure of working with 27 3rd graders on a tile art project that now graces the entrance to the Jackson County Animal Shelter dog kennel. Each painted tile is more bright and cheerful than the last.

I've often been accused of putting a paint job on the world, and enjoying looking through rose-colored glasses--and I'm guilty as charged. So it should come as no great surprise that I enjoy looking into children's art to see the messages within. And the message I see is Life Is Good.

I love the sweet message of Emily Hatfield's painted tile above:

• Life is simple and straightforward--don't complicate it.
• Life is uncluttered and unencumbered--keep it simple.
• Look for the simple pleasures (ahem...a tree to pee on).
• The sun is always shining--bask in its warmth and enjoy your day.

 When it gets down to it, we are all just kids in big bodies. Don't let your dreams and visions become clouded by adult difficulties. Choose to return to a simpler time.

Life will bring troubles that complicate your life. Yet you can choose that child-like view that life is good and work to simplify and enjoy it--despite your difficulties.

Life IS Good. Enjoy it.

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog; they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog that comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and maybe I will become as generous and loving as they are." ~Unknown
 
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 For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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Surviving Hard Times

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset." Saint Francis de Sales


Are You Piss Poor? Good! That's better than not having a Pot to piss in!

I'm fascinated by the origin of ideas, beliefs and sayings--and search engines provide me hours of amusement as I attempt to discover how colorful sayings get a foot-hold in our language.

Every now and then when I catch myself using an odd phrase I stop to wonder what I'm really saying--and this leads me on a path to discovery that often lightens my mood despite trying situations.  That's what happened one afternoon as I found myself using the phrase 'piss poor'.

While engaged in a conversation with a friend about people feeling poor and down on their luck she shared her own story about two little girls who showed up in her daughter-in-law's backyard one afternoon.

The kids had just moved into a new home built by Habitat for Humanity right behind her daughter-in-law's modest home. This young single mother who is 'piss poor'--lost her husband at a young age and is raising two boys alone while going to school and receiving financial support from her parents. She isn't exactly flush with resources.

She hadn't yet secured a job since finishing school. But she does have an old, long out-of-use trampoline in her backyard.

One afternoon, she looked out into her backyard to see two little girls sitting on the decrepit trampoline. When she went out to greet them, they asked, 'Are you rich'?  To these children 'without even a pot to piss in' that old broken down trampoline looked like riches.

Perhaps after the recent years of economic woes, like this young woman, you're feeling piss poor. But it's all a matter of perspective. While you may be feeling 'down on your luck' or less than 'well-heeled', the good news is if you're feeling piss poor you still have options for pulling out and making money.

The expression 'piss poor' originated around the 1500s when urine was used to tan animal skins. Poor families could earn money by collecting their pee in a pot to sell to the tannery--and thus they were 'piss poor'.

But someone else was even worse off than you in the 1500s if they 'didn't even have a pot to piss in'--meaning they were so poor they couldn't even afford to buy a pot for the family to pee in--and so they were unable to make money selling pee to the tannery.

Seemingly Vulgar Terms Originate out of Hard Times

What I see in these seemingly vulgar expressions is our ingenuity to find ways to make money in dire circumstances. Life is a challenge. Since the beginning of time people have been struggling to make a life.

From the outside, others always look shinier, better, and more successful. From the inside, we see all of our blemishes, failures, losses and difficulties. Yet most of us in the U.S. are part of the 99% whose income has diminished while our struggles have increased. Most of us must work at creating a life, finding or keeping a job, and making an income in this tough economy. No one 'has it easy'--and few are 'catching more breaks' than you.



Stop Worrying and Let Tomorrow Bring New Strengths

How do you survive hard times? Are you struggling to catch a break? Are other people doing better than you? When you look around you does it seem like everyone else is breaking through the difficulties, except you?

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "with the new day comes new strength and new thoughts". When you find yourself worrying about comparing your current circumstances to others, put it down for the day and see what tomorrow brings.

"Worrying does not empty today of its troubles, it empties tomorrow of its strength." Mary Englebreit


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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Never Try to Teach a Pig How to Sing

Ducunt fata volentem, nolentem trahunt
The Fates guide those who go willingly. All others they drag.

Are You Trying to Teach a Pig to Sing?

It's a drag--that person who does things so differently from you really irritates and annoys you. So you take it upon yourself to fix him and show him how to do it your way--the right way. It works, right? Wrong.

Just as Rocky said to Bullwinkle (at the beginning of each cartoon when Bullwinkle said 'watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat'):

"That trick never works."

That trick doesn't even work if you attempt to fix yourself so you can fit your square or squiggly self into that round hole to please others.



 Stop wasting your time trying to make you or others into something you're not. As Robert Heinlein said:

 "Never try to teach a pig how to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig."

Does this mean people can't grow and change? No. It means there are many ways to accomplish things and we need to accept the differing gifts in ourselves and others with grace, compassion, and understanding. A pig can easily learn how to hunt for truffles but try as they might--they can't learn to sing.

It never works to attempt to make people over to be like you. It always works to encourage others become their own best selves.

"Never try to teach a pig how to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig," means we need to accept the realities of life. You can't make a pig sing no matter how hard you try--and no matter how annoyed the pig gets.

So the next time you try to take on another person as your make-over project, know 'that  little piggy' doesn't want to learn how to sing your tune or dance in step with your timing--so stop wasting your time and annoying her!  Let her learn her own dance and tune.



Stop Wasting Your Time and Annoying Others

We all have 100% natural, healthy, effective ways we prefer to deal with the world around us--and all of them are perfectly sound ways to get things done. You can stop wasting your time and annoying others by acknowledging these differences and learning how to make a constructive use of them.

• Where in your life are you trying to teach a pig to sing?
• Who are you annoying most--you or another person?
• Do you want to continue wasting your time or being annoyed?
• Are the Fates guiding you? Or are you being dragged to the obvious conclusions?

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill

**A special thank you to Vicki Brown, a member of Linkedin MBTI discussion group for sharing "Ducunt fata volentem, nolentem trahunt"


Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts

Contact Susan for custom-made gifts. New cheerful designs are always available.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Lighten Up: Down Home Humor from Mark Twain and Will Rogers

 

'The spirited horse, which will try to win the race of its own accord, will run even faster if encouraged.' Ovid

 



What's Your 'Carrying a Cat by the Tail' Experience?

I love the witty humor of Mark Twain and Will Rogers. Whenever I start taking myself too seriously or getting stuck in my thinking, a quick search through my Twain and Roger quotes pulls me out of a foul mood 'faster than green grass through a goose' and has me laughing at myself in no time.

Mark Twain can evoke an image like no other and bring it home to rest for me. Here's one that tickles my fancy:

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."

Each time I visit that quote, the image of carrying a cat by the tail sears into my brain and elicits a full out belly laugh in me. And while I've never actually carried a cat by its tail, I know exactly what it means ---and you do too.

Just picturing myself carrying a cat by its tail makes me consider where I might be doing that in my life. Oh--it's never a real cat--rather the metaphorical cat by the tail--that person I just had to engage who's spitting mad and clawing at everyone looking for someone to bite.

It doesn't take too many 'carrying your cat by the tail' experiences for me to learn the benefits of taking a different approach with that person.

Looking for someone to bite



What have I learned to do differently by seeing those individuals as cat by the tail people?

• Don't poke at them--and don't showcase them in undignified ways in which they feel totally out of control.
• Always give them a place to hide so they can choose to come out and show themselves when they're ready.
• Ignore them and go about your business until they're ready to meet you out in the open.
• And if they can only stand the light and openness a short time, let them quietly go back to hiding undercover.

When a person is spitting mad and looking to take it out on someone, stay out the way or you will become the target--warranted or not.

The Shocking Truth



If Twain fails to lighten my mood and help me see the error of my ways, there's always Will Rogers' humor for switching on the lightness:

"There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading;
The few who learn by observation;
The rest of them have to touch an electric fence." 

 

Most of us start out life having to touch the electric fence---and some, like Bart Simpson, continue to learn in that manner.

As a kid growing up surrounded by cow pastures and orchards, I spent a lot of time running around with neighborhood kids exploring the world around us. One day a pack of us decided it would be fun to touch an electric fence with all of us holding hands just to see what would happen. The person at the front of the line touched the fence with a single piece of wet grass and that current whipped through our bodies, zapping us with a wallop.

Did I suspect it was a bad idea? Yep. Did I do it anyway? Yep. Did I do it again? Nope. Like carrying a cat by the tail, I learned first-hand why that wasn't such a good idea--and I've never forgotten the experience.

As Will Rogers says:

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

We often choose our learning lessons, by bucking the wise counsel of others or our own better judgment. Sometimes we just have to step in and experience that wild ride for ourselves. We suspect what we're about to do is not a good idea, but we're going with it any way.

If you discover you're one of those people who still has to learn by 'carrying the cat by the tail' or 'touching the electric fence' so be it. Your learning experiences are sure to pack a wallop.

As Will Rogers says:

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

 

"If you find yourself digging a hole, stop digging."

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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Acting with Grace Under Pressure

'When you're secure with yourself you have no need to lash out at others and you're able to act with grace under pressure.' Lightarted Sue

The Desire to Slap that Person 

Okay, I get it--as pressure mounts and deadlines loom you desperately want to slap that critical, judgmental person standing on the sidelines telling you (and others) what you're doing wrong while failing to help move things forward. It would be so easy and feel so good to match her bad behavior--tit for tat; stone for stone.

But just because she demonstrates bad behavior doesn't mean you should. It doesn't help you in the moment of pressure and it doesn't help you in the long-run.

Learning to Act with Grace under Pressure

We all imagine what we'd like to do to other people when we're under pressure. It's only natural to imagine a quick 'fight or flight' reaction when you feel threatened.  But you're always training yourself--and your brain--by your choices. When you succumb to reacting under pressure you train yourself to stay in the part of the brain that is reactive instead of moving to that part that allows you to take a more even, graceful approach under pressure.

 Think of it this way: bad, reactive, obnoxious behavior is a result of feeling out-of-control while thoughtful, measured, graceful behavior is a result of feeling secure and in-control. You need to ask yourself which path you want to take--in-control or out-of-control.

People who feel out-of-control are easy to spot. They're the ones trying to control the environment and everyone else. They throw tantrums and blame others. Controlling people are fearful things are going to fall apart unless they force the situation and berate others. The truth is it is the controlling person who feels most insecure and out-of-control.

"Choose to make life choices that result in you feeling more secure and in-control of your life."

You can learn to act with grace under pressure by making it a life choice that guides your daily actions.

"When you choose to act gracefully under pressure you commit to suspending judgment and practicing the pause whenever the urge to lash out comes over you"

Choose to act in a way you can look back in 20 years and be proud of yourself. When you make a life decision to take the path of feeling secure and in-control you'll slow down and pause to find your center when you're under pressure.


"You cannot restore others to their best selves by belittling them or by punishing them, or by being disgusted with them. It is only through love you can return anyone to love. And if you do not have a way of returning them to love, they will always be a problem to you."
Abraham (paraphrased)


Share the Love--Lightarted Heart-felt Gifts

Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are always available.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

If Everything is so Good, Why do I Feel so Blah?

'People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.' Eleanor Roosevelt

 

If Everything is so Good, Why Do I feel so Blah?

We've all been there.

There's nothing wrong. In fact things have been going pretty good. But work is stressful and you've been working too many hours to get to the end of that great project.

You pride yourself on doing outstanding work, so you put your all into each new project that comes your way. This focus on excellence has brought you praise from your boss and landed you a series of great projects you can really sink your teeth into. Everyone loves your work and sings your praises. You are smart, responsive, creative and productive.

So why are you now nursing a case of the blahs--feeling anti-social, wanting to take naps instead of going out, and turning inward when you finally take time off?

Burnout and the Blahs

When you feel you've lost that fire inside driving you to excel and enthusiastically jump into the next project--or you secretly fear you're in over your head and are soon to be discovered as incompetent--you've come down with a bad case of the Burnout Blahs.

Like so many other people who desire to make their mark on the world you have given your all without sufficiently replenishing your energy along the way. When we fail to adequately engage in non-productive play time to rebalance, our fire and drive can extinguish quickly.

When your emotions flat-line into a case of the blahs you know it's time to rebalance yourself with appropriate downtime.



How to Regain the Fire in Your Belly

You already know you want to excel and be the best you can be. So why is it so difficult for you to do what you already know you need to do to maintain that fire in your belly more often than not?

Times of drive must be balanced with times of idling, and you must give yourself equal time living as your private self as you do as your public persona. Staying 'on' 24/7 is crazy-making behavior that leads to burnout, self-doubts and the blahs.

The antidote is to practice doing nothing--regularly. You must consciously plan fun downtime into your week or you'll find the subtle ever-pervasive infiltration of work into your mindset.

Stop.
Do nothing.
Unplug.
Give in to that nap.
Unplan.
Have a dream-free day.
Lose the expectations.
Accomplish nothing.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller



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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies

'It is easy to dodge a spear that comes in front of you but hard to keep harms away from an arrow shot from behind.' Chinese Proverb

Bullies Can Be Passive-Aggressive or Outwardly Aggressive

 We all have them in our lives--those people who drive us nuts trying to run our lives although they're not very good at running their own.

In the workplace, bullies create mayhem through micromanaging and judging our every action or falsely attributing negative words and actions to us in their attempt to elevate themselves in the eyes of those in power.

Passive-Aggressive Bullies

For the passive-aggressive variety, their bullying is done behind closed doors--never in public where they could be called on for their false statements and actions. These hit and run communicators prefer to be the power well behind the throne--choosing to stay in the shadows whispering falsehoods in the ear of those in power.

These underhanded purveyors of negativity are masters at scattering misinformation, and turning one person against another through their whirlwind of chaos and drama. Under the cloak of secrecy, they pass on their own fears and biases to others to stroke their egos and make others look bad. These are the snipers who take the shots while all the time believing they are the true victims.

Aggressive Bullies

The outwardly aggressive bullies pick on people they perceive to be weak in situations they expect to get away with it.

Consider the case of Mike Rice, Rutgers's men's basketball coach. For two years he openly hurled basketballs from close range at his players' heads, legs and feet; shoved and grabbed his players; punched and kicked them; and yelled obscenities and homophobic slurs at them. No one called him on this bully behavior. Players just accepted this bad behavior as normal.

Like Mike Rice, outwardly aggressive bullies are just plain mean and believe in their power, their 'rightness' and your 'wrongness'. Verbally abusing you and threatening your livelihood is just a standard way of communicating for these meanies.

These power players have no problem making disparaging comments about you to others or straight to your face. Until someone calls them on their bad behavior, they don't give it a second thought--and even after being called on it they don't really believe they're wrong. They're right; you're wrong, end of story.



How to Deal with the Bullies

Bullies make all of us feel unsafe, unwanted, unwelcome, and unappreciated--and being the victim of a bully can result in anxiety, depression, lowered self esteem, and poor health.

Don't let the bullies get the better of you. It's not worth losing your mental or physical health to stay in a workplace that tolerates bullies. For your well-being, you must find a way to stop the bully behavior or look for another job before you are demoralized into believing the bully.

It wasn't until the media showed the video of Mike Rice's outrageous behavior that he was fired from his job. To get out from under bully behavior it must be named as such--and put out for public view--and sometimes that means going outside of the organization.

Rutgers Athletic Director, Tim Pernetti, viewed video footage of Rice's abusive behavior in December, resulting in suspending him for three games and a fine of $50,000--a mere slap on the wrist. But when the video was leaked to the media 3 months later Rice was finally fired.

When bad behavior is put out for all to see, it can be seen and named for what it is: bullying, abusive and inappropriate. For bullying to continue it must be accepted by everyone.

To deal with bullying in the workplace:

• Start by accepting bully behavior is wrong under all conditions.
• Shed light on the dark behavior--find a way to make it public.
• Call bullies on their behavior. When you've had enough of their bad behavior, draw your line in the sand.
• Get help from others.
• If the bullying originates at the top consider other job options.

Bullies are chaos makers whose nasty energy creates negativity in the workplace and self doubt in others. It's so easy to get pulled in by their brow-beatings. Try focusing on something other than the chaos makers. Change the channel in your head and heart to gain your power back.

Minimize your contact and conversation with the bullies at work. Whether or not they consciously mean you harm, you are the one who must keep yourself out of harm's way.
Keep all conversation cordial and simple.


Theodore Roosevelt on Daring Greatly

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Is Over-Thinking Leading to Procrastination?

"We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it." Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne)
 
What Came First: The Chicken or the Egg--Over-Thinking or Procrastination?

Okay, come clean. What's the thing you've been thinking you need to do you just haven't gotten around to doing?

Come on, you know what it is! It's the very thing that if you did it you could finally relax and feel good about just taking care of it.  It's that thing your mind has been working on overtime--over-thinking it or avoiding thinking about it. Either way the results are the same: You're left feeling antsy about something hanging over you.

The Anticipation is Killing Me!

The thing is, you know there is something on your mind that continues to show up for brief visits every morning, weekend or evening before it disappears as you return to your work, or other such distractions. And you also know, until you take care of it, it will continue to irritate you.

Years ago a cartoon featured the lovable cat, Garfield, considering the task of getting out exercising. He thinks, "I probably should get up and exercise, but my feet will start to hurt and my heart will pound. I'll get out of breath, start to sweat, and I won't be able to make it back home. Exercise isn't so bad," he says, "But the anticipation is killing me!"

Like Garfield, the thing you need to do probably isn't so bad, but the anticipation is killing you! That small first step could potentially have a large impact on your life so you over-think it. The anticipation leads to procrastination, killing your motivation to take a step.

Begin Simply, and Simply Begin

To overcome the inertia to taking the first step, begin simply, and simply begin! Consider Mark Twain's philosophy:

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

Brian Tracy in his book, 'Eat That Frog!', plays off Twain's quirky quip to create 21 ways to stop procrastinating. Tracy equates your 'frog' to your biggest, most important task, the one likeliest to have the greatest positive impact on your life---yes, the very THING we've been talking about!

Tracy goes on to lay down the first two rules of 'frog eating'

"If you have to eat two frogs, eat the ugliest one first."

"If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn't pay to sit and look at it for very long."

Apply the Rule of Frog

Basically, the rule of frog says stop anticipating, and start each day by doing the most important thing that needs doing before you do anything else. Don't sit around thinking about taking that first bite of frog. Bite into the hardest, ugliest task you've been avoiding first thing in the morning -- and do it every morning.

Leap Frog Your Way to a Satisfying, Productive Life

Begin simply: make a short list of 'frogs'. Then simply begin to jump through those self-imposed hoops, leap frogging your way each and every morning to a more satisfying and productive life.

And don't leap over the obvious---sometimes the thing you're avoiding doing is NOTHING! Sometimes when you're life has been filled with hyperactivity doing nothing is the most difficult activity of all.

Why wait to get started? Jump in NOW.

Frogs to Eat First Thing in the Morning
Make a list of your frogs. Choose an ugly one.

Don't miss these ugly frogs:

• Take time just for yourself.
• Practice doing nothing.

Putting your self-care first can be a very ugly frog:

• Make that phone call
• Organize your office or home
• Start that school application
• Ask for Help
• Organize your taxes
• Make a doctor appointment. Put your self-care first.
• Write a letter to that person in need
• Start contributing  or increase the amount contributed to your retirement savings account.
• Exercise
• Find a new job
• Research school options
• Make and maintain contact with good friends

 

"Stay hungry. Stay foolish." Steve Jobs

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.
 
If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.