Thursday, April 11, 2013

If Everything is so Good, Why do I Feel so Blah?



'People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.' Eleanor Roosevelt
 
If Everything is so Good, Why Do I feel so Blah?

We've all been there.

There's nothing wrong. In fact things have been going pretty good. But work is stressful and you've been working too many hours to get to the end of that great project.

You pride yourself on doing outstanding work, so you put your all into each new project that comes your way. This focus on excellence has brought you praise from your boss and landed you a series of great projects you can really sink your teeth into. Everyone loves your work and sings your praises. You are smart, responsive, creative and productive.

So why are you now nursing a case of the blahs--feeling anti-social, wanting to take naps instead of going out, and turning inward when you finally take time off?

Burnout and the Blahs

When you feel you've lost that fire inside driving you to excel and enthusiastically jump into the next project--or you secretly fear you're in over your head and are soon to be discovered as incompetent--you've come down with a bad case of the Burnout Blahs.

Like so many other people who desire to make their mark on the world you have given your all without sufficiently replenishing your energy along the way. When we fail to adequately engage in non-productive play time to rebalance, our fire and drive can extinguish quickly.

When your emotions flat-line into a case of the blahs you know it's time to rebalance yourself with appropriate downtime.



How to Regain the Fire in Your Belly

You already know you want to excel and be the best you can be. So why is it so difficult for you to do what you already know you need to do to maintain that fire in your belly more often than not?

Times of drive must be balanced with times of idling, and you must give yourself equal time living as your private self as you do as your public persona. Staying 'on' 24/7 is crazy-making behavior that leads to burnout, self-doubts and the blahs.

The antidote is to practice doing nothing--regularly. You must consciously plan fun downtime into your week or you'll find the subtle ever-pervasive infiltration of work into your mindset.

Stop.
Do nothing.
Unplug.
Give in to that nap.
Unplan.
Have a dream-free day.
Lose the expectations.
Accomplish nothing.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller



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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies




'It is easy to dodge a spear that comes in front of you but hard to keep harms away from an arrow shot from behind.' Chinese Proverb

Bullies Can Be Passive-Aggressive or Outwardly Aggressive

 We all have them in our lives--those people who drive us nuts trying to run our lives although they're not very good at running their own.

In the workplace, bullies create mayhem through micromanaging and judging our every action or falsely attributing negative words and actions to us in their attempt to elevate themselves in the eyes of those in power.

Passive-Aggressive Bullies

For the passive-aggressive variety, their bullying is done behind closed doors--never in public where they could be called on for their false statements and actions. These hit and run communicators prefer to be the power well behind the throne--choosing to stay in the shadows whispering falsehoods in the ear of those in power.

These underhanded purveyors of negativity are masters at scattering misinformation, and turning one person against another through their whirlwind of chaos and drama. Under the cloak of secrecy, they pass on their own fears and biases to others to stroke their egos and make others look bad. These are the snipers who take the shots while all the time believing they are the true victims.

Aggressive Bullies

The outwardly aggressive bullies pick on people they perceive to be weak in situations they expect to get away with it.

Consider the case of Mike Rice, Rutgers's men's basketball coach. For two years he openly hurled basketballs from close range at his players' heads, legs and feet; shoved and grabbed his players; punched and kicked them; and yelled obscenities and homophobic slurs at them. No one called him on this bully behavior. Players just accepted this bad behavior as normal.

Like Mike Rice, outwardly aggressive bullies are just plain mean and believe in their power, their 'rightness' and your 'wrongness'. Verbally abusing you and threatening your livelihood is just a standard way of communicating for these meanies.

These power players have no problem making disparaging comments about you to others or straight to your face. Until someone calls them on their bad behavior, they don't give it a second thought--and even after being called on it they don't really believe they're wrong. They're right; you're wrong, end of story.



How to Deal with the Bullies

Bullies make all of us feel unsafe, unwanted, unwelcome, and unappreciated--and being the victim of a bully can result in anxiety, depression, lowered self esteem, and poor health.

Don't let the bullies get the better of you. It's not worth losing your mental or physical health to stay in a workplace that tolerates bullies. For your well-being, you must find a way to stop the bully behavior or look for another job before you are demoralized into believing the bully.

It wasn't until the media showed the video of Mike Rice's outrageous behavior that he was fired from his job. To get out from under bully behavior it must be named as such--and put out for public view--and sometimes that means going outside of the organization.

Rutgers Athletic Director, Tim Pernetti, viewed video footage of Rice's abusive behavior in December, resulting in suspending him for three games and a fine of $50,000--a mere slap on the wrist. But when the video was leaked to the media 3 months later Rice was finally fired.

When bad behavior is put out for all to see, it can be seen and named for what it is: bullying, abusive and inappropriate. For bullying to continue it must be accepted by everyone.

To deal with bullying in the workplace:
  • Start by accepting bully behavior is wrong under all conditions.
  • Shed light on the dark behavior--find a way to make it public.
  • Call bullies on their behavior. When you've had enough of their bad behavior, draw your line in the sand.
  • Get help from others.
  • If the bullying originates at the top consider other job options.
Bullies are chaos makers whose nasty energy creates negativity in the workplace and self doubt in others. It's so easy to get pulled in by their brow-beatings. Try focusing on something other than the chaos makers. Change the channel in your head and heart to gain your power back.

Minimize your contact and conversation with the bullies at work. Whether or not they consciously mean you harm, you are the one who must keep yourself out of harm's way.
Keep all conversation cordial and simple.


Theodore Roosevelt on Daring Greatly
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Is Over-Thinking Leading to Procrastination?



"We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it." Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne)
 
What Came First: The Chicken or the Egg--Over-Thinking or Procrastination?

Okay, come clean. What's the thing you've been thinking you need to do you just haven't gotten around to doing?

Come on, you know what it is! It's the very thing that if you did it you could finally relax and feel good about just taking care of it.  It's that thing your mind has been working on overtime--over-thinking it or avoiding thinking about it. Either way the results are the same: You're left feeling antsy about something hanging over you.

The Anticipation is Killing Me!

The thing is, you know there is something on your mind that continues to show up for brief visits every morning, weekend or evening before it disappears as you return to your work, or other such distractions. And you also know, until you take care of it, it will continue to irritate you.

Years ago a cartoon featured the lovable cat, Garfield, considering the task of getting out exercising. He thinks, "I probably should get up and exercise, but my feet will start to hurt and my heart will pound. I'll get out of breath, start to sweat, and I won't be able to make it back home. Exercise isn't so bad," he says, "But the anticipation is killing me!"

Like Garfield, the thing you need to do probably isn't so bad, but the anticipation is killing you! That small first step could potentially have a large impact on your life so you over-think it. The anticipation leads to procrastination, killing your motivation to take a step.

Begin Simply, and Simply Begin

To overcome the inertia to taking the first step, begin simply, and simply begin! Consider Mark Twain's philosophy:
"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."
Brian Tracy in his book, 'Eat That Frog!', plays off Twain's quirky quip to create 21 ways to stop procrastinating. Tracy equates your 'frog' to your biggest, most important task, the one likeliest to have the greatest positive impact on your life---yes, the very THING we've been talking about!

Tracy goes on to lay down the first two rules of 'frog eating'



"If you have to eat two frogs, eat the ugliest one first."

"If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn't pay to sit and look at it for very long."
Apply the Rule of Frog

Basically, the rule of frog says stop anticipating, and start each day by doing the most important thing that needs doing before you do anything else. Don't sit around thinking about taking that first bite of frog. Bite into the hardest, ugliest task you've been avoiding first thing in the morning -- and do it every morning.

Leap Frog Your Way to a Satisfying, Productive Life

Begin simply: make a short list of 'frogs'. Then simply begin to jump through those self-imposed hoops, leap frogging your way each and every morning to a more satisfying and productive life.


And don't leap over the obvious---sometimes the thing you're avoiding doing is NOTHING! Sometimes when you're life has been filled with hyperactivity doing nothing is the most difficult activity of all.

Why wait to get started? Jump in NOW.


Frogs to Eat First Thing in the Morning
Make a list of your frogs. Choose an ugly one.

Don't miss these ugly frogs:
  • Take time just for yourself.
  • Practice doing nothing.
Putting your self-care first can be a very ugly frog:
  • Make that phone call
  • Organize your office or home
  • Start that school application
  • Ask for Help
  • Organize your taxes
  • Make a doctor appointment. Put your self-care first.
  • Write a letter to that person in need
  • Start contributing  or increase the amount contributed to your retirement savings account.
  • Exercise
  • Find a new job
  • Research school options
  • Make and maintain contact with good friends
 
"Stay hungry. Stay foolish." Steve Jobs

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.
 
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Sunday, March 10, 2013

Burned Out? Take a 'Do-Nothing' Day


Had Enough? Take a Do-Nothing Day

Don't feel like:
  • Answering the phone or email?
  • Socializing?
  • Being creative?
  • Being productive?

Don't!

You know you work too hard and burn yourself out. Sometimes in order to rekindle that fire in your belly so you can be more productive and creative you need to stop and do nothing.

Nada.

Think about it--When was the last time you did nothing without feeling guilty about it? There's no day like today to enjoy doing nothing.



La De Da...Give it up for Your Do-Nothing Day

  • Lose the expectations
  • Give in to that nap
  • Un-schedule your time
  • Do stuff that contributes to no one
  • Be unproductive
  • Zone out
  • Waste your day

The only way to get the most out of your life and the best out of yourself is to regularly give yourself time to recoup your energy through the 'sit and do nothing' exercise. What are you waiting for? Go waste your time and enjoy doing nothing!


Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts

Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are always available.

 
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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

What Would Make this the Best Day Ever?--Learning the Right Questions to Ask



What Would Make this the Best Day Ever?
 
In Search of the Most Satisfying Life Ever

Einstein said, 'asking the right question is half the solution'. Perhaps that's why I spend so much time in the inquisitive side of life:  I'm trying to figure out how to make this and every other day my best day ever so I achieve an overall satisfying life.

Despite Hard Times Life Can Still Be Satisfying
 
Life isn't always easy--and sometimes it's downright painful. In the course of living we deal with rejection, fear, betrayal, shame, disappointment, loss and failure. 

So how do we figure out how to have the best day ever, much less the most satisfying life ever in the midst of difficulties? We figure out how to turn difficult experiences into deep, rich experiences by changing how we think about them.

If you ask them, people who rate their lives as overall very satisfying will tell you they too experience their fair share of less-than-stellar times. I am one.

I can honestly say I've had a very satisfying life--despite dealing with extremely painful and unsettling times. It comes down to knowing you are equipped to handle whatever life throws at you, and you are steering your life in a good direction while navigating through the muck and murky waters of daily life.

Your satisfaction with life is determined by a combination of your past and future, i.e. how you feel  or perceive your life has turned out so far, and how you see it going in the future. Your perceptions and attitudes have a lot to do with your experiences in life--helping to determine how satisfied you are as well as what choices you think you have for improving your situation.

Over time, the 'ups and downs' of how satisfied you feel will be influenced by what's happening at the moment, while how you rate your overall life satisfaction is determined by the least satisfying, or most painful part.



'Each moment of my life is new, fresh and vital'


Knowing the Right Questions to Ask Yourself is Half the Solution to Creating a Satisfying Life

While you don't always choose the situations you're in, you always choose your attitude and responses. You can greatly increase the probability you'll have the best day or life ever by learning the right questions to ask yourself to guide your daily thoughts and actions.

The trick is to ask yourself questions in such a way you can be honest in answering--without skipping over the truth. Picturing yourself five years down the road with positive and negative outcomes, for instance, can help you see if the path you're currently on in love, career or life will lead to the most satisfying outcomes.

"You already know the answer to these questions before you ask them. It's a matter of asking the questions in a way that will allow you to accept the truth consciously and act on what you know."


Life's Most Important Questions

Pick out one or more of the areas of your life to assess using the questions below. Take time to write down the answers to these questions and let the answers sit with you without doing anything. When you're ready, take one step you know will help you make today your best day ever.


What would you say about your life?

  • How satisfied are you with your life right now?
  • How would you rate your life satisfaction over all?
  • What's your least comfortable or satisfying part of life at the moment--love, friendship/family, work/career, or how you feel about yourself?



Love
  • When have you been the most satisfied in a relationship?
  • When have you been the least satisfied in a relationship?

If you're currently in, or contemplating getting into a relationship, imagine yourself five years down the road:
  • If you're still in the relationship what made you stay?
  • If you moved on from the relationship what made you leave?
  • What could your previous partner have done differently to keep you in a relationship?
  • Do you want it to work out?



Work
  • When have you been the most satisfied in your career?
  • When have you been the least satisfied in your career?
If you're working with a company, or contemplating working with a company, imagine:
  • Its five years since you started working with this company--and you're still here. What have they done right to keep you?
  • Its five years since you started working with this company--and you left. What occurred to make you seek other work?
  • What could your previous employer have done differently to keep you?

Life
  • When have you been the most satisfied in your life?
  • When have you been the least satisfied in your life?

  • Looking five years down the road and you are content with your life. What have you done right to make you satisfied?
  • Looking five years down the road and you are unhappy with your life. What choices have you made that lead you to be discontented?

"Knowing what you know now, what choices can you make today that will leave you feeling more satisfied with your love, work and life in the future?"



"Life's two most important questions are 'Why?' and 'Why not?'--the trick is knowing which one to ask." Gordon Livingston MD


Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts

Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are always available.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Carl Jung: Who Looks Outside, Dreams; Who Looks Inside, Awakens



Don't Be Afraid to Live Life to the Fullest

Where are you at this moment in life? Would you like to dream and achieve, or awaken and come alive?

Perhaps life has dealt you a blow and you feel beaten down or lulled to sleep to avoid the pain of reality--and you are neither interested in dreaming or awakening--you're just surviving.

Or perhaps you are in a moment in time when you're anticipating future negative events--layoff, retirement, divorce, illness, failure, or being left behind--and the fear and anxiety clouds out any thoughts of dreaming and looking forward with optimism.

Sure, sometimes life is harsh making you retreat and give up. We've all been there.

But don't be afraid to refresh your desire to dream or wake from your deep sleep. By redirecting your attention from your past or future onto today you can focus on the desires of your heart. Keep asking yourself what would make you feel fully alive today to let your mind focus on it.  

As Paulo Coelho said, "When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."


Don't be afraid to stick your neck out to create the life you desire. Life is a series of trials and challenges for all of us. No matter how many times you fall down, the correct response is to get back up. Be willing to look foolish in search of your dreams. Sometimes you must risk feeling foolish to come fully alive.

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen." Paulo Coelho



 


It's never too late to reclaim your dreams and rekindle your spirit. Take time to create a clear vision for the life you want to live now. Look within to discover what makes you come alive. Step back into the world to put your dreams into action. It is never too early or too late to create a good and joyous life.
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens."   Carl Jung

 
Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts for your Valentine

Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are always available.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.






Monday, February 11, 2013

I Am Good, I Do Good, I Feel Good--The 'Me Too' Test



Do You Feel Good about How You Deal with Others?

I don't know about you, but I like to think of myself as a person who strives to 'do good and feel good' about the way I work with others. Yet I fall short of doing the best by others on a daily basis. And I know the truth.

You are the only one who sees what really goes on behind your eyes. And you are the only one who can truly know what's in your heart. You can present a good face to others--and also present a good face to yourself. But a good face is not the same as a good heart. And it is so easy to lie to yourself by skipping over the truth.

Does Your 'Feedback' Technique pass the ME TOO Test?

Here is one simple way to test the truth of how 'good' your interactions and intentions are with others.

Think about your interactions with others in the last week.
  • How did you talk to (or about) people who messed up or did something wrong?
  • Did you begin by pointing out what needs improvement or what they did wrong?
  • Were you disapproving and judgmental (in your head or in your words)?
Now compare how you dealt with others (either in your head or in your words) with how you want to be treated.
  • How do you want to be dealt with if you do something wrong?
  • Would you feel defensive if others talked with you about your deficiencies the way you talk with (or about) them about theirs?
Does your feedback approach pass the me too test? Can you honestly say if the conversation was reversed and you were the recipient of the 'feedback' you just gave you would feel good about the interaction and go away feeling you had food for thought?

I have to admit as 'good' as I think I am, I regularly fail to pass the 'me too' test--especially in the conversations that take place in my head. 'So what?' you say.

If you want to feel good and at peace with yourself you need to find a way to make peace with where others are too. Quit 'making them wrong' and make peace with where they are too.

At the end of the day, it is you who is left with the results of your actions and thoughts. Base your intentions on kindness and compassion--and reach out to others in a way you want to be treated.

Good Enough for the Dog is Good Enough for Me

After reading 'The Help', I began to end my daily walks with my dog, Arrow, by telling him, "You is smart. You is kind. You is important."  As I speak these words to him his tail raises higher, his head and chest stand proud and all is well with the world. And as I speak these words to him, I also speak them to myself--allowing me to look for more ways to be kind and do right by others.

 


Another Way to Right Wrongs and Help Others Remember Who they are

"I was recently told of an African tribe that does the most beautiful thing.

When someone does something hurtful and wrong, they take the person to the center of town, and the entire tribe comes and surrounds him. For two days they’ll tell the man every good thing he has ever done.

 The tribe believes that every human being comes into the world as GOOD, each of us desiring safety, love, peace, happiness.

 But sometimes in the pursuit of those things people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help.

They band together for the sake of their fellow man to hold him up, to reconnect him with his true Nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth from which he'd temporarily been disconnected: "I AM GOOD"."
 


From Sun Gazing
http://www.sun-gazing.com




Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts for your Valentine

 Visit the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are available.
 
Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

 For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

 If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

 

 

Monday, February 4, 2013

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick

 
'Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.' Samuel Johnson

Difficult People Make Us Feel Unsafe

You know who they are--those people who drive you crazy, stirring up trouble--and making you feel unsafe. In my family we call them '*hit Disturbers'.

These creators of chaos and drama stir up a whirlwind of trouble that sucks you in and wreaks havoc on your emotions, perhaps leaving you feeling anxious and uncertain about your relationships, or future with the company.

So how should you deal with these disturbers of your peace?  Try kindness first.

How's that, you say? How does one just put on a happy face and handle these twits with kindness when the truth is you really don't like them and what you'd really like to do is 'get' them and make their lives miserable? 

Why on earth would you choose to deal with them with kindness when a good kick in the behind would serve them well?--Because it's best for you.

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick

Before you  dismiss this as Pollyanna drivel for how to deal with these purveyors of distress, consider Teddy Roosevelt's use of 'speak softly and carry a big stick', an African proverb he picked up while traveling in West Africa in 1900.

While Governor of New York, Roosevelt fought with party bosses, particularly one that threatened to ruin him. Despite the threats, Teddy conveyed his stance in a speech with the adage 'speak softly and carry a big stick'. Roosevelt stayed steady and eventually the bosses gave in to the direction he wanted to go--and he certainly was not ruined.

The adage 'speak softly and carry a big stick' evokes an image of a person who is clearly in control of his or her emotions and actions. This is a person who is slow to anger and slow to react. And while you may start out softly in your words and deeds, you always know you can pull out the stick if you need to--and they do too.

Don't let your life be led by the *hit disturbers. Choose to be in charge of your own life and create a life based on your own values.


How to Speak Softly when You Really Want to Blast Them

  • Suspend judgment
  • Hold your tongue
  • Count to ten--no wait--make that one hundred
  • Engage in self-calming activities
  • Wait
  • Put time between when you want to blast them and when you respond to their trying behavior
  • Remember who YOU are
  • Remember what you want to build in your life

 
'You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.' Publilius Syrus
 
Share the Love--Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts for your Valentine
 
Visit the Ashland Art Center Main Gallery in Ashland, Oregon for Lightarted Designs, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are available.
 
Sign Up for Free E-mail updates
 
For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.
 
If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Plant Kindness--Harvest Love




Kindness can Accomplish what Force cannot

Throughout the ages all great sages have spoken on the importance of being kind.

As we step into the Valentine season I offer herein a few words on kindness from the likes of Aesop, Lao Tzu, Benjamin Franklin and William Wordsworth for you to ponder and perchance to lead your actions.

We can all make a difference in the lives of others. Choose to reach out in kindness even in the face of adversity. Each day choose to lay the groundwork for love and happiness. Your small daily decisions over a lifetime add up.

He Who Plants Kindness Gathers Love

'A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.' Saint Basil

'No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.' Aesop 

'Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.' Samuel Johnson

'Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.' Lao Tzu

'A laugh, to be joyous, must flow from a joyous heart, for without kindness there can be no true joy.' Thomas Carlyle

'That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.' William Wordsworth

'If you would be loved, love and be loveable.' Benjamin Franklin

 Remember:

'There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.' Nathaniel Branden

'Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.' Albert Schweitzer


 

 
Share the Love--Where to find Lightarted Postcards, and Heart-felt Gifts for your Valentine

Stop by the Ashland Art Center in Ashland, Oregon for First Friday Artwalk and look for Lightarted Designs in the Main Gallery, or contact Susan for a personal viewing or custom-made gift. New cheerful designs are now available.

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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.  

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.











Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Practice Mindfulness to Cure Hurry Sickness


 
"Personal mastery is the discipline of continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively." Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline

Hurry Up!

  • Do you suffer from hurry sickness? Are you always feeling rushed and worrying you're missing out on opportunities or letting others down because you're rushing to get things done but are always one step behind?
  • Do you sometimes feel discombobulated, like you just can't figure out how to keep up with everything no matter how hard you try—leaving you flustered and tired?
  • Do you continue to feel rushed long after there is any need?

 I don't know about you, but I tend to push myself to achieve imaginary deadlines that only I—or more correctly my deep unconscious—knows what that deadline is.
 
I may not have a severe case of hurry sickness, but I do find myself rushing to pick up speed and save a few minutes so I can get there faster. The problem is I'm not sure where 'There' is.

 

I've Got Good News and Bad News 
This dilemma is illustrated in the story of an airline pilot who comes on the loudspeaker to chat with her passengers.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I hope your ride has been smooth. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is we're making great time; the bad news is we're lost."


What Goes Up Must Come Down

Sure there are times in our lives when we must function at top speed to achieve specific goals and meet real deadlines. But why do we continue rushing at high speed even when we don't need to anymore?

As the Chicago song says, 'What goes up must come down' --and that includes the frenetic speed and stress that goes up when we're rushing to meet those real deadlines. A constant state of hyperactivity and hurry sickness isn't good for any of us.

To get where we want to get in life we must slow down and rest the mind so we know what we want and how to get there.

Nature Does Not Hurry, Yet Everything is Accomplished 

'Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished' said Lao Tzu, sage from 6th century BC. Grass does not try to grow. Water does not try to flow. Flowers do not try to bloom. They just do. There is no hurry in plant time, just the simple flow of life in the right time. 

So pull back, quiet your mind, and allow the simple flow of your life to happen in the right time. Children grow up. People find mates. People find fulfilling jobs. Roads and bridges get built. Communities heal. Hurts heal. 

Stop hurrying to build that bridge to nowhere. It'll still be available to work on later if you really must. But chances are, going forward with a stilled mind; you won't see the need to busy yourself with going nowhere. With a cleared mind and an open heart your life will be cleared for things of importance--and the universe will unveil all its secrets to you in the right time.

Slow Down, Still Your Mind

Lao Tzu also said, 'To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.' While we would like to think we are smarter, wiser, and much more advanced than those who lived centuries before us, so much timeless wisdom written centuries ago still speaks to us as if it was written today.

When you catch yourself with a case of hurry sickness, practice mindfulness, and apply the wisdom that came to us from so long ago. Stop. Adjust. Breathe. Relax. Still your mind. Accomplish your dreams.

 
What have you been in too big a hurry to slow down to enjoy or take time to do?
  • Call family and friends to enjoy a leisurely chat.
  • Reach out and help a friend in need.
  • Dream.
  • Discover opportunities in Chaos.
  • Engage in flow activities.
  • Still your mind and calm your heart.
Give yourself the gift of time--unclutter your life, still your mind and learn to find your opportunities through the chaos of life.


Apply What You Know
Why not follow in the footsteps of one person who has stepped in to still his mind and get more out of his life? Here's how one person has applied what he knows:

Here's my publicly stated goals and guiding thoughts for 2013 based on some hard lessons learned in 2012 --Sean Royce Gibbons.

-Say what you mean.

-Reach out to people in need of help.

-Dream bigger.

-Find opportunity in chaos.

-Clutter free space gives room to imagine.

-Home is where you build it.

-Anything can go on a blank sheet of paper.

-Call your friends and family.

-Wake up early.

-Isolate disappointment. Circulate accomplishment.

-Journal over Facebook.

-Engage in Flow activities.

-Other people cannot make you happy.

-Be honest with yourself.

-The harder you work, the luckier you get. (from a sign hung up in Hop Vine reminding me everyday that I needed to find a better job)

-Ignore FOMO anxiety.


Thanks to Sean Royce for giving me permission to share his 2013 goals.  How will you apply what you know in 2013?


"Every day we should hear at least one little song, read one good poem, see one exquisite picture, and, if possible, speak a few sensible words." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.