Lightarted Living: Relationship Difficulties? Seek Silence and Separa...

Lightarted Living: Relationship Difficulties? Seek Silence and Separa...: Stop! You're stressing me out! Dealing with Relationship Problems �� Where is the OFF button for establishing appropriate bo...

Relationship Difficulties? Seek Silence and Separation to Reestablish Boundaries

Stop! You're stressing me out!

Dealing with Relationship Problems

💓 Where is the OFF button for establishing appropriate boundaries in your personal relationships with love interests, spouses, children, parents or extended family and friends? 

💙 What do you do when you're burned out trying to make a relationship work? 

I love you but I need space!

Sometimes We Need Peace and Quiet 

Face it. We can all use a bit of space now and then when things get overwhelming in our relationships and life. 

Sometimes as we navigate life, things get messy and entangled between parents and children, spouses and partners, or with friends and siblings. Other times life just gets messy and stressful and we need to be left alone to sort things out. 

When difficulties arise and emotions are charged it's difficult to remember everyone is doing the best they can, including you. 

During times of upheaval in our lives or relationships we need ways to establish appropriate boundaries so we can figure out how to move life forward.

But too often that doesn't happen as we move in closer in an attempt to 'help' or influence one another and we implode in acute bouts of anger and frustration heaped on one another. 

When you do things from your soul,

You feel a river moving in you--a joy 

Rumi

Use Silence and Separation to Refresh Your Relationships

If the harder you try to fix a relationship or issue, the worse you make it: 

💓Stop. Pull Back. Do nothing. Do something else. Spend time with other people.

💙Seek silence, solitude, and separation so you can hear yourself think. This is NOT to be interpreted as giving someone 'the silent treatment'--it's a calm time out from interacting. You need solitude so you can 'do things from your soul'.

💚Sometimes you don't need to talk more to solve a difference or problem. You need to put it down, separate, and create open space for everyone to breath and think.

“Life becomes easier when you learn 

to accept an apology you never got.”

Robert Brault

For Family Issues 

💙After you've reset your boundaries with a troublesome family member, consider what you want in the relationship. Do you want this person out of your life for good, or do you want to reestablish your relationship and work through the current difficulty?

💓Think long term. Don't let hurts separate you forever. Find your compassion and sense of humor.

Definition of Family: The people who stick with you through all the problems you'd never have if they weren't your family.

For Love Interests

💓Always set appropriate boundaries according to the spoken rules of the relationship.

What do you do when someone you're interested in romantically says  "I just want to be friends", then proceeds to text you well after 11 pm or wants to get together at 10 pm?

While you may want to push the limits of the relationship, you will only burn yourself out by accepting the 'we're just friends' while still acting as if you are more than that.

To maintain balance in your relationship (and leave the door open to the possibility of a love relationship developing) you need to set appropriate 'friend' boundaries by working off the spoken 'friend' rule.

💙Friends spend time in the daylight and early evening. Lovers spend time late into the night.

When you play by the 'friend rule' you take the 'I only want to be friends' person at his/her word and you relate like friends--without allowing the other person to inappropriately invade your life like an intimate--you don't date; you don't take phone calls or text messages after 10 pm; you spend daytime and early evening time together, not late night time together--and you freely date other people and talk about it. 

Do not allow other people complete run of your life by allowing them to act on both the spoken and unspoken rules. Whatever the spoken rules are those are the ones you play by--not by what you think is really going on (the unspoken rules).

Silence IS Golden

Bounce back from feeling burned out by your relationships--seek silence and reestablish boundaries by changing one small thing. What adjustment will you make to regain your balance? How will you approach your relationship after you've had time to think on your own?

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before. 

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover Your ...

Lightarted Living: Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover Your ...: I Wish to Live a Life that Causes My Soul to Dance   Remember Typewriters?   I wrote my first few books and articles on a typewriter...

Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover Your Motivation for Keeping Up

I Wish to Live a Life that Causes My Soul to Dance

 Remember Typewriters? 

I wrote my first few books and articles on a typewriter. 

At the time I first began to publish one of my good friends and colleagues said, "Your forte is speaking and communicating to a live audience, Sue--I don't think you'll be able to capture that in the written word."

That was the only thing I worried about back then--could I translate the power of the spoken word into written words and elicit action from the reader? (Okay I worried about run-on sentences too.)

I didn't have to think twice about how or where to put my thoughts to paper. 

There were no personal computers, laptops, or tablets; No internet sites, FAX machines, or e-mail; No cell phones, smart phones, scanners, or digital cameras; No blogs, on-line courses, webinars, video conferencing, or learning management systems; No social networking--no Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn; No Kindles, Amazon or e-books. 

I used the tools available to me at the time--pen, paper, typewriter, white out with my best typing skills; and snail mail aka 'the mail'--alongside my naked lack of experience but strong desire to communicate with the world.

When Does 3 Months of Experience Trump 35 Years?

In the 35 plus years I've worked in the training and development field, I've honed my speaking, facilitation, writing and program development skills. Those 35 years of experience count for a lot. I am a skilled communicator, motivator and leader. I conduct meaningful and engaging workshops. But this is not enough.

In today's technologically-based world, sometimes 3 months of experience trumps 35 years of experience. 

This isn't to say 35 years of experience in the workplace isn't important. It means it's just as important for us to stay current learning and applying new technologies.

 Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover What Motivates You to Keep Up

If you're like most people, you're overwhelmed by the rapid speed of change in technology. 

But instead of becoming overwhelmed by the speed at which things are changing, seek to maintain a passion for life-long learning and look for your current motivators to help you step into the next phases of technology. Then take the next step.

In the last 10 years I've been motivated to learn how to use the latest technology by two things: 1) my need to communicate with and influence others, and 2) my desire to find new ways to play with and showcase my art. This is how the blog was started.

I started Lightarted Living so I could play with technology and communicate with you through the written word and the visual arts. In the seven years I've blogged my skills and confidence have improved without my trying. I've kept my eyes on my interests and learned how to use current technological tools in the course of following those interests.

What Blows Your Hair Back?

💓What motivates you today?

💙What sets your curiosity on fire?

💚What are you driven to play with?

Don't let your fear of not knowing what you're doing stop you from keeping up with the times. We're all inexperienced and ignorant before we begin. Once you begin your learning speeds up, especially if you keep your eyes on your interests rather than on what you don't know.

Figure out what excites you, and use it to motivate you to play with technology to further your personal and/or professional goals. The 1st step in is always the most difficult. Technology has in fact become easier to use by Luddites and common folk alike. 

What do you want yourself to do NOW? How can you play to learn and change? What's one step you can take to move toward something you want to do better? 

Small Daily Decisions Over a Lifetime Add Up!

Relax and Play! 

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before. 

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Love Your Life: 15 Affirmation Hearts to Center an...

Lightarted Living: Love Your Life: 15 Affirmation Hearts to Center an...: Love Your Life Each day provides a fresh start. Grab the opportunities freely provided to you. Love your life! Sign Up f...

Love Your Life: 15 Affirmation Hearts to Center and Uplift You

Love Your Life

Each day provides a fresh start. Grab the opportunities freely provided to you.

Love your life!

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before. 

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Step Past Your Current Conundrum (of which there's...

Lightarted Living: Step Past Your Current Conundrum (of which there's...: 'If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are you share the same fear as all other humans: the fear of losing love, respect a...