Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Creating Harmony: When we Listen to Understand Our Brains 'Dance in Parallel'




Listen Up!

According to Emma Seppala, Ph.D., science director of Stanford University's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, brain imaging studies show:

"When two people talk and truly understand each other, something quite spectacular happens: Their brains literally synchronize."





On with the Dance! 

"It is as if they are dancing in parallel, the listener’s brain activity mirroring that of the speaker with a short delay."
Emma Seppala


Listen to Understand
"That is the kind of communication we should all aim for—and one that may lead to not only better relationships, but more compassion."
Emma Seppala




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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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Sunday, September 10, 2017

A Relaxed Mind


“When the mind is totally present, it is relaxed, nimble, and sensitive. It feels lighter and clearer. It notices everything, but it is not distracted by anything. It is the feeling of knowing exactly where you are and what you are doing.”

Sakyong Mipham



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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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Saturday, September 9, 2017

Acceptance



“The most outrageous thing we can do in this world is to accept what happens and fly with it.”


Sakyong Mipham

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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Friday, September 8, 2017

Strength and Gentleness



“The self-assured strength that grows from knowing that we already have what we need makes us gentle, because we are no longer desperate.”


Sakyong Mipham




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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Anxious? Be Cunning to Loosen Anxiety's Grip


Anxiety is Secretive
"Anxiety is secretive. He does not trust~not even his friends worry, terror, doubt and panic. He has a way of glombing onto your skin like smog and then you feel unclean." 
Ruth Gendler


You must Be Cunning to Get Rid of Anxiety 
"He is sure a nuisance to get out of the house. He has no respect for locks or curtains or doors. I speak from experience. 
It takes cunning to get rid of him~a combination of anger, humor, and self-respect. A bath helps too. 
He does not like to get wet. As a last resort, if you are not near a bathtub wet your face with tears." 
J Ruth Gendler


'Anxiety' from 'The Book of Qualities'
"Anxiety is secretive. He does not trust~not even his friends worry, terror, doubt and panic. He has a way of glombing onto your skin like smog and then you feel unclean. 
He likes to visit me late at night when I'm alone and exhausted. I have never slept with him but he kissed me on the forehead once and I had a headache for two years.
He is sure a nuisance to get out of the house. He has no respect for locks or curtains or doors. I speak from experience. 
It takes cunning to get rid of him~a combination of anger, humor, and self-respect. A bath helps too. 
He does not like to get wet. As a last resort, if you are not near a bathtub wet your face with tears."
From The Book of Qualities by J Ruth Gendler


The Book of Qualities

I first fell in love with 'The Book of Qualities' 27 years ago. This brilliantly intuitive work of art breathes life into the rich diversity of human qualities making them come alive to resonate deep inside us. 

The other day I stumbled across my copy of 'The Book of Qualities' that had been waiting quietly for years in my library for me to rediscover it. Gendler's description of anxiety was just what I needed to incorporate into my Q'art (quote art) and share with you today. 

Let it wash over you and refresh your spirit.

You can order The Book of Qualities on Amazon. 



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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.


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Monday, September 4, 2017

The Power of Imagery to Banish Negative Thoughts



What are you carrying with you?

Picture This: 

👃You come home from work to find overripe, odoriferous bananas in the fruit bowl amassing fruit flies overhead. The smell sets off your gag reflex. What do you do with the greasy black heeled bananas serving as a breeding ground for irritating bugs getting in your face?

👃 Hoping to enjoy a bowl of cereal, you open the milk carton that's a month past it's sell date to give it the sniff test and about fall on the floor from the smell. What do you do with the soured, lumpy milk?

👃When you come home from vacation you open the refrigerator and you're greeted by the overwhelming stench of rancid meat. You find the culprit--slimy chicken that's two weeks past it's sell date. What do you do with the fetid meat?

Like most, you could easily see and smell the offending foods in these visual images and hastily replied 'THROW IT OUT'--but not before crinkling your nose and turning your head to get away from the smell--and washing your hands after.
Our brains have the wonderful capacity to see things that aren't there, and that is an asset when you need to get rid of something that isn't serving you. It doesn't matter if the image you create is real or imagined. What you imagine is every bit as real to the brain as real life.
...And this is how the power of imagery to banish negative thoughts works! 


What's leaving a bad taste in your mouth?

Negative Thoughts Start to Stink Past Expiration Date

Who wants to sit with their negative thoughts any longer than necessary? We all harbor hurts, disappointments, self-doubts, pain, grief and sorrow. But why should we provide them a safe harbor to lock in and stay put? 

Although negative thoughts have their place in prodding us along in life, most of them stay well past their expiration date and begin to stink and leave a bad taste in our mouth, making life unpleasant. 
To rid ourselves of stinking thinking caused by negative thoughts the solution is clear: throw them out--but how?


Chose Simple Visual Imagery to Help You Let Go

When we allow ourselves to get attached to something--even our negative thoughts--we have a visceral reaction to letting it go. 

If you've been nursing a hurt or 'how they done you wrong' story it can be difficult to let it go after you've invested all that time and attention to it. 

Chances are you've created a visual image of those negative thoughts glomming onto you or hanging over your head like a storm cloud. You need something simple and powerful to offset the staying power of negative thoughts and stories.
Creating simple visual imagery to help you let go of negative thoughts is that powerful tool. 

See Yourself Let Go

The Ultimate 'Letting Go' Imagery to Banish Negative Thoughts 

Early in my career I dealt with a very nasty political situation in which I was going to be made the scapegoat for a situation I had no hand in. There were lots of moving parts and political players needing to shift the blame. It was a very dark and scary time.

But after being overwhelmed by the situation for too long (well past it's expiration date) I looked for a way to move past it and get the horrific situation from taking up so much space in my mind. 

It was in this moment I discovered two of my all-time favorite images for letting go of negative thoughts and stories that still allowed me to view them anytime I felt the need. 

I still use both of these visualizations when I need to. I watch as I go through the motions of 'letting go'. 

Whatever imagery you use, look for something that gives you a visual and visceral effect for letting go of what's rancid so you can get back to your open, bright, and sunshiny life. 

The Archived Book

I imagine myself putting the story, complete with negative feelings and nasty players into a book. The book has to be put away for safekeeping so I watch myself walk down a long deserted hallway to the back of the library where I have to climb a tall ladder to put the book on a dusty archival shelf with other ancient history. I climb back down the ladder, walk back down the deserted hallway, and out into the bright, open spaces filled with sunlight.

Up, Up and Away in a Balloon

I imagine I enclose the feelings, situation, person, or story  in a helium balloon. I tie a string at the base and hold on to that string until I'm ready to let go. I release the string and watch as the balloon flies up, up and away until it becomes a tiny dot in space before disappearing.




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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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Friday, September 1, 2017

Do You Carry Negative Experiences with You? The Parable of the Naked Lady and the Monks


"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."  Johann Wofgang von Goethe

Uncovering the Naked Truth

Do you know the story of two monks who happen upon a naked woman standing by a river? It goes something like this:

The woman wants to cross the river and asks the Monks if one would carry her to the other side. One Monk agrees while the other steps back in horror, but says nothing.
When they get to the other side, the Holy Man carrying the woman puts her down at the bank of the river and the two Monks walk on, traveling the next 10 miles in silence. 
The Monk who maintains his purity by refusing to touch the woman ponders the incorrectness of the other's action. As he walks down the road, he simply cannot get the image of the naked woman out of his head. He plays the image of his Brother carrying the naked woman over and over. 
Finally at the end of the day the uncontaminated Monk can stand it no longer. He breaks his silence and says, 'how is it you soiled your body and mind by touching that naked woman?' 
To which the other Monk replies, 'I left her at the bank of the river while you, on the other hand, have carried her with you all day.'


Two Faced

Which Monk Are You? 

We all carry the spirits of both Monks within us. 
There is the side of us who jumps into life with simple, straightforward non-judgmental action, and the other side who is filled with shoulds, don'ts, rules and judgments--who continues to ruminate and second-guess actions and experiences long after they're over. 

Which Monk do you relate to most? 
Do you spend more time carrying negative thoughts and experiences with you? Or do you strive to walk through your negative experiences so you can let them go, and move on with your life?

Feeling Alone and Vulnerable

'Naked Lady' Experiences Leave You Feeling Vulnerable

Let me share one of my 'naked lady' stories with you. Early in my career, when I was a trusting and fresh-faced professional, I had a charismatic colleague I admired very much who methodically turned other co-workers against me. This was a very public experience that left me feeling exposed and vulnerable, and influenced my outlook for years. 

Initially when I revisited my old stomping grounds after moving away, my mind would be drawn to revisit that uncomfortable experience, and I had to deal with the feeling everyone was judging me each time we came in contact.

Yet years down the road as I was conversing with a colleague who was a major player in THE EVENT I discovered she had no memory of it at all. My naked lady experience I carried within me as a HUGE memory she put down immediately after things transpired. 

Furthermore, when I checked in with other people who were involved in my BIG EVENT, their recollection of the experience was minuscule or non-existent. 
There was no group memory of what transpired--only what I carried with me in my mind. I could have put my 'naked lady' experience down instead of carrying it with me all those years.


What 'Naked Lady Experience' are you carrying with you today? 

💧 What events, experiences or embarrassments are your 'naked lady' experiences causing you to feel exposed and vulnerable?
💧 Have you been publicly embarrassed, laid off, divorced, or 'made a fool' by a love interest?
💧 Are you embarrassed because you've lost your home, failed to get a job, or while you may have a job you're being underpaid for your skills and talents?

💓 What do you need to name, examine and let go? 💓

Most people are too busy with their own lives to maintain an inventory of your negative events and experiences. Don't let your 'naked lady' experiences get a toe-hold in your mind. Let them go and move on unburdened with negative experiences of the past.

'Don't carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones.' Sun Gazing



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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Losing Your Job? Discover Strength and Resiliency to Persist


Fear Paralyzes

Downsizing and layoffs create fear and uncertainty throughout an organization. Even if you're one of the lucky ones still employed after the first cut you're left wondering 'who's next?'--If I'm laid off what will I do? Where will I find my next job?  

As one of the lucky ones who survived round after round of layoffs, you may find your own fear and anxiety rises daily as you stand in hallways or cubicles with fellow coworkers ruminating over the latest rumors about who is to stay and who is to go. And adding to your anxiety you come to work after a restless night's sleep too tired and drained to do a good job.

Perhaps you think about updating your resume, networking, and LinkedIn profile--but you lack the energy--and secretly fear if you put energy into updating your resume you'll 'manifest' your own demise.

Ultimately you vacillate between frenetically overworking yourself trying to save your job one minute and doing a lackluster job and feeling resigned to losing your job the next. 

It's easy to let fear paralyze you into retreating into inaction and indecisiveness leaving you in a constant state of anxiety about your future. So how do you overcome the fear immobilizing you and get on with your life?

Human Hardiness: Tap into Your Strength and Resiliency
"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."  FDR 1933

 84 years ago, in another time and another context, Franklin D Roosevelt spoke these words to a nation in need of honest, straightforward talk. Today these words ring just as true as we struggle to find our way in the ever-changing landscape of today's workplace.

To move on with strength and resiliency in times of fear we need to unload fear--that nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror--so we can stop retreating into a frozen stance and start advancing and rebuilding the life we want.

When you're ready to give up the fear, get ready to tap into that deep well of human hardiness inside each one of us. In short--snap out of it! Stop wallowing and quivering, and pull yourself up by your bootstraps instead.

You'll discover your strength and resiliency with every step you take.  



Refresh your ability to step into the unknown by running experiments without being concerned with the outcomes. Stop thinking; start doing.


Suspend Judgment. Forget about success and failure, and forget about pre-judging the success of your actions. Simply take actions that allow you to explore options or possibilities you find interesting. Keep a journal of your daily experiments.

Be Brave. Always believe in your ability to take another action. Take one step into the unknown each day that allows you to explore your options and rediscover how to find that next job in today's marketplace. 


"This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." Franklin D Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address March 1933


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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Recovering from Disaster ~ A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step ~ Lao Tzu


 No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. The Buddha

When Disaster Hits

💧  Are you one of the lucky ones who feels you've dodged a bullet when you see what other people are dealing with but you're still fearful about how you and others will rebuild your lives?

💧  Or are you facing so many hardships and challenges you're left feeling hopeless and discouraged about ever finding your way back to a normal life?

💧  Are you tired of thinking about your current situation and just wish someone would do something about it?


How to Start Over and Treat Yourself Gently

When things get really tough—especially after experiencing a major disaster--it can be difficult to see your way out. 

These 3 timeless keys show you the way forward to starting over after your life is disrupted by economic and environmental hardship or personal crises.
1. Take the First Step 
Not much has changed in the thousands of years humans have been facing and recovering from the hardships of life. As Lao Tzu stated so long ago, 'a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step'. 
We fuel our inner strength and sense of resiliency by taking action. 


But sometimes when faced with 'a journey of a thousand miles' we can be overwhelmed with the daunting task of where to begin. What is the first step?
The good news is any first step will do. Your hope, resiliency, and personal strength will grow stronger with every step you take. 

It doesn't matter what the first step is. As you experience yourself being pro-active and physically taking action, your ability to cope and hope will improve. 

So start with a single step--any step-- and then another.
2. Take Small Steps
An old Chinese Proverb says, 'The man who moved a mountain is the one who started taking away the small stones'. When you're in total overwhelm mode, start 'taking away the small stones'--one small step, then another. 


If you are in a position to help other people recovering from disaster, consider your best options for helping--and then take one small step followed by another. 
Don't wait for the perfect step. Do something.
3. Build a Nest in the Eye of the Storm
Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, traveled on her life adventure, with change and uncertainty her constant companions. Her grandmother, a major influence in Margaret's life, sent her on her journey with the sage advice to 'Always build a nest in the eye of the storm'.
This grandmotherly wisdom has had a strong influence in my own life. Whenever major life events cause upheaval in my life, my mind returns to this saying, and I think how important it is to apply in my own life to get things moving and balanced again. 
One thing I know--when you're in the middle of a crisis, the hardest thing to do is to think of taking care of yourself. 
You can forget to nourish your body, push your body to the limits with lack of sleep, and remain in a constant state of emotional overload. 




But if you focus on 'building a nest in the eye of the storm', you will begin to create a cushion to rest and a space for thinking.
What does it mean to build a nest in the eye of the storm? 
When life is swirling around you like a hurricane--you find a way to create a home-base of comfort--or nest--from which you can rebuild your daily existence.
💓💓Start with the basics to nourish your body and rest your nerves. Your body likes a regular rhythm that includes regular heart beats, breaths, sleep patterns, eating times, moving times, and rest time.


💓💓The small steps include beginning by getting your natural rhythms back in place.

💙Eat regular, well-balanced meals that nourish you.
💚Pace yourself--put a time limit on dealing with your difficulties--and take regular rest breaks.
💛Go to bed early.
💜Choose to have daily contact with uplifting, supportive people who can listen and encourage you in your strength.
💓If you're caring for others, take care of yourself first, so you have the strength and endurance to continue to help others.


Create a Place of Safety and Security

We all do our best thinking and acting when we do it in a place of safety and security. The key is to find a way to create your nest---no matter what storm is brewing. It may not be easy, but it is essential.
Life is a cycle, always in motion; if good times have moved on, so will times of trouble!   Indian Proverb


Update September 12, 2020: I am one of the lucky ones in Ashland, Oregon whose house was spared from the devastating Alameda fire that destroyed hundreds of homes and businesses in neighboring towns. I'm reaching out to those of you who are in a position to help financially to seek out gofundme pages for individuals and families to contribute to, or to contribute to our local Red Cross for victims of the Alemeda Fire. Please be as generous as you are able.

If you are unable to help financially, please consider helping by passing this message on to others who many be in a position to help. Also, if you are in an area where the fires have hit your local area, please find ways to help your neighbors. We are all in this together. Now is the time to reach out and be part of the greater community.

Here are a few Gofundme pages for individuals and families that lost everything in the fire to get you started:

https://gf.me/u/yxncz7  Rachel Kalb and babies

https://gf.me/u/yxpfrs   Jesse Lopez

https://gf.me/u/yxstct     Grandma Stella Cruz

https://gf.me/u/yxu6c6    Molly Erwin, RN

https://gf.me/u/yxpng6    Tejada-Ingrams family with 2 children

Also in great need the Northwest Seasonal Workers Association (see below). An estimated 500 workers and their families lost their homes.

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.