Feel Good, Do Good, Be Good : Live with Integrity and Graciousness

'When you choose to act with integrity and graciousness, you are strengthened by your experiences; when you choose to act out of ego, fear, anger, retaliation or hate, you are hardened by your life experiences.' 

Small Daily Decisions over a Lifetime Determine Your Life Satisfaction  

You are the only one who sees behind your eyes and deep into your heart. Only you know whether you act with integrity. 

Life is full of intrigue and drama--especially in love and work. Every day we make small decisions about getting in, staying in, or getting out of relationships. Our choices ultimately determine the course of our life and how satisfied we are.

The one constant throughout your life is you--you are the only one who travels in your innermost circle 24/7. You are the only one who sees behind your eyes and deep into your heart. Only you know whether you act with integrity.

Acting with Integrity Gives You Strength

While choosing to act with integrity may feel scary or uncomfortable when you're in the midst of turmoil, after the emotional fog lifts you can see this is what strengthens you for life ahead.

Acting with integrity is what gives you the strength to be brave enough to speak up the next time in such a way as to achieve the best outcomes--despite your initial dis-ease.

Make a conscious decision to be strengthened, not hardened by your life experiences.

Putting Your Integrity to the Test

• In the last three days--what decisions did you face about how to conduct yourself? Would you say you acted with integrity and graciousness? If not, why not? What could you do differently to improve?
• Is there a time in your past you acted without integrity that fills you with regret? How can you let that go, and choose to feel good about your actions today? 

Something to Think about: Words to Live By

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not." Oprah Winfrey

"The integrity of men is to be measured by their conduct, not by their words." Junius

"Integrity means that you are the same in public as you are in private." Joyce Meyer

"You are in integrity when the life you are living on the outside matches who you are on the inside." Alan Cohen

"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters." Alan K. Simpson

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful." Samuel Johnson

"Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity, than straightforward and simple integrity in another." Charles Caleb Colton

"Calamity is the test of integrity." Samuel Richardson

"Tragedy in life normally comes with betrayal and compromise, and trading on your integrity and not having dignity in life. That's really where failure comes." Tom Cochrane

"Perhaps the surest test of an individual's integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect." Thomas S. Monson

"Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people." Dennis Prager

"Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake." Larry Hagman

Do You Choose to Act with Integrity and Graciousness?

• Who are you? How do you choose to live your life? Would you say you act with integrity and graciousness?
• How do others view you?  Would friends and family say you are gracious and act with integrity?
• Are your internal beliefs in sync with your actions? How do you feel when you act out of integrity?
• Twenty years from now, will others say you lived with integrity--and will you feel good about your actions today?

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.

Let the Good Times Roll! When Happiness and Good Times Return

Happiness

Relish Your Good Fortune 

Sometimes when you've been down so long you don't even remember what it feels like to be up. But sometimes--when you least expect it--happiness and good times show up on your doorstep. Then what? How do you act? What do you do?

Good Times

How to Act when Happiness and Good Times Return

Don't chastise them for being late--and don't call them liars and send them away again. Instead, treat Happiness and Good Times as honored guests--welcome to stay as long as they'd like.

Treat Happiness and Good Times as honored guests--welcome to stay as long as they'd like.

Take them for long walks through town to reacquaint them with your environment. Dress them up and show them off to everyone you meet. Let them shine.

Take them out with friends and loved ones to welcome them home.  Share their sparkle and let their fairy dust sprinkle on those you love.

Share the sparkle of happiness and good times with loved ones.

Sit quiet and let them whisper words of love and encouragement in your ear. Trust them to speak truth to you, and then help them build a soft nest to rest in your heart. Thank them for coming home to roost.

Let happiness and good times whisper words of love and encouragement.

Leave the Door Open  for Happiness

If you've been down so long you don't remember how to feel good, leave the door open for happiness and good times to return. Keep a positive expectation for the good times to show up.

Keep a green tree in your heart

and perhaps a singing bird will come.

Chinese Proverb

Build a soft nest in your heart for happiness and good times to reside.

Thank you happiness and good times for coming home to roost!

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.

Why Do You Keep Stepping into a Big Pile of Sh** When You're Rolling in the Good Sh**?

Let the good times roll!

Does This Sound like You? 

• You've longed for a relationship but when a person you like comes along and things are going well, suddenly you're overwhelmed. Why, after you agree to take your relationship to the next level, do you worry you've moved too fast and want to back out?
• You've thought long and hard about asking for a raise or promotion, but when you get it, you feel anxious. Why, after stepping out on a limb to ask for a better position and more money do you suddenly panic and feel overwhelmed?
• You've looked forward to retirement and it is right around the corner. But suddenly you're filled with fear and self-doubt as the time draws near for you to choose the best option for your retirement annuity. Why are you so exhausted until the decision is made? 

Why Do I Keep Messing Up A Good Thing?

If you a person who is prone to stepping back into that big pile of sh** just when you've been rolling in the good sh**--listen up!  There's a very simple answer to why--at the very moment things are going great--you mess things up and end up back in emotional limbo feeling anxious and uncertain--and you can fix it.

The answer can be found in the definition of a 'big pile of sh**' and 'good sh**'. I know what you thought I meant...and that's okay. But here's the real scoop:

When you find yourself messing up a good thing, what's happening is you're stepping back into a big pile of 'SHOULD' at the very moment your SHIP has finally come in. 

Think about it. How do you react when things are going good in your life? When all the pieces are falling perfectly into place, do you take time to delight in the moment or do you automatically begin to anticipate your next crisis? Are you making way for a bit of serendipity, or always ready to step into that big pile of 'SHOULD'?

Second Guessing and Higher Expectations

If you find yourself paralyzed in fear, wondering if you made the right choice after getting something you wanted, consider yourself one of the lucky ones. 

Those of us who live in cultures that believe in freedom of choice--and who have many choices for creating our lives--are the same ones who have the luxury to second guess our choices.

The world of many choices--while providing us a plethora of options--also puts the responsibility for making the best choices squarely on our shoulders--and this is where things can get confused in our thinking--especially when our decisions affect others as well as ourselves.

'When we have the freedom to chose a life path instead of having one thrust on us, we feel the weight of our choices and it raises our expectations for the outcomes.'

Suddenly, we're self-conscious about our choices. Is it the right one? Could I have chosen better? Is this one going to bite me down the road? What if I'm missing another opportunity because I'm committed to this one? What if my perfect mate comes along while I'm in this relationship and I fail to recognize it? What if I'm just leading this person on? 

Let Go Over-Thinking Decisions 

To be content and open yourself up to the possibilities of your good choices:  Let go over-thinking your decisions. Practice facing the moments before and after you choose with calmness

Indecision is exhausting--making the moments before you make a choice uncomfortable--while anticipating what will go wrong after you make a decision stressful. It is living in that 'world of should' that creates the tension and discomfort throwing you into a mental fog and leaving you feeling overwhelmed and anxious. 

Choose and Stop Thinking

Enough Already! 

When you find yourself smack dab in the middle of a stress response--wanting to 'fight or take flight', or 'argue or withdraw' as you transition into that good relationship, job, or retirement stop over-thinking it. In fact, stop thinking. Put it down and do something else.

Over-thinking what it all means makes you jittery. When you stop thinking, and focus on being in the moment instead, you'll stop your creeping expectations from turning into 'a big pile of should' and allow a bit of good old serendipity to appear when your ship comes in.

Truth is we all want to be pleasantly surprised and caught off guard by random acts of kindness and moments of creativity, love and fun in our daily life. We can lose that sense of being pleasantly surprised in little ways when we stay focused on and raise our expectations too high.

So lighten up! Stop putting so much importance on your every choice after you step into something good. Your choice is for now, not for all eternity. Let things unfold naturally. If you start to feel overwhelmed, get sleep and down time.

'You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.' Paulo Coelho

When your ship comes in, roll in a bit of serendipity!

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Susan J Meyerott loves helping people become more fully themselves, particularly those working through anxiety, life and career transitions, relationships, and self-esteem issues. She provides a nonjudgmental, growth-oriented environment for you to become the person you’re meant to be—while appreciating the richness of who you already are. Learn more at Lightarted Living Blog