All Know the Way, But Few Actually Walk it~Bodhidharma
"A man has to learn he cannot command things, but he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the will of others, but he can mold and master his own will:
And things serve him who serves Truth; People seek guidance of him who is master of himself."
James Allen
'She Who Speaks First Loses'
While chatting it up with my brother Royce the other day I reminded him of something he taught me long ago about communication and negotiations: 'whoever talks first loses'.
"Did I ever tell you where I first learned that?" he asked. "I learned that lesson while pheasant hunting. Pheasants are very smart and they really don't want to be shot. They know how to sit quiet under cover when hunters are around...and the first pheasant to lose it's cool and show itself stands to lose it's life."
It pays to stay under cover and withhold the last part of your tale whether you're negotiating or simply attempting to influence and motivate another person to follow their dreams. As Lao Tzu said, 'When you're still, the whole universe opens'.
If you're able to sit in silence for prolonged periods of time in the presence of others--overcoming the compulsion to fill the silence with chatter--you'll exert more power and influence, and have a greater presence.
Good communication and negotiation requires us to master ourselves before we can be fully competent working with or helping others.
Too often, however, we shoot ourselves in the foot as we lose our cool and keep talking well past the time we needed to shut up, or we start speaking again too soon instead of giving other people time to think and act for themselves.
When we keep yammering at someone--even for their own good--they want to take flight to get away from us--to some place far away where they can hear themselves think.
When we have the good sense to shut up, that's when people listen and learn to act for themselves.
"What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it, that's another matter.
Peter F. Drucker
When it Pays to Be Still (Shut Up and Listen)
💓When you want to motivate or influence others
💙When you're negotiating a raise
💛When your adult children come to you for advice
💜When you're helping someone make good life choices
The next time you're pushing someone to do something you want them to do, try pulling back on your advice, yammering, and the compulsion to fill the silence. Sit in Silence.
Gentleness may accomplish what force cannot. Sometimes less is more--and no where is this more true than talking.
Walk this Way...
Master Yourself and Others will Follow
For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.
