The Procrastination Cure: How to Stop Over-thinking

'We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it.'  Winnie the Pooh 

 

Curing a Bad Case of Over-thinking

Okay, come clean. What's the thing you've been thinking you need to do you just haven't gotten around to doing?

Come on, you know what it is! It's the very thing that if you did it you could finally relax and feel good about just taking care of it.  It's that thing your mind has been working on overtime--over-thinking it or avoiding thinking about it. Either way the results are the same: You're left feeling antsy about something hanging over you.

The Anticipation is Killing Me!

The thing is, you know there is something on your mind that continues to show up for brief visits every morning, weekend or evening before it disappears as you return to your work, or other such distractions. And you also know, until you take care of it, it will continue to irritate you.

Years ago a cartoon featured the lovable cat, Garfield, considering the task of getting out to exercise. He thinks, "I probably should get up and exercise, but my feet will start to hurt and my heart will pound. I'll get out of breath, start to sweat, and I won't be able to make it back home. Exercise isn't so bad," he says, "But the anticipation is killing me!"

Like Garfield, the thing you need to do probably isn't so bad, but the anticipation is killing you! 

'The problem is that small first step could potentially have a large impact on your life so you over-think it. The anticipation leads to procrastination, killing your motivation to take a step.'

Begin Simply, and Simply Begin

To overcome the inertia to taking the first step, begin simply, and simply begin! Consider Mark Twain's philosophy:

'Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.'

Brian Tracy in his book, 'Eat That Frog!', plays off Twain's quirky quip to create 21 ways to stop procrastinating. Tracy equates your 'frog' to your biggest, most important task, the one likeliest to have the greatest positive impact on your life---yes, the very THING we've been talking about!

Tracy goes on to lay down the first two rules of 'frog eating' :

'If you have to eat two frogs, eat the ugliest one first.'

'If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn't pay to sit and look at it for very long.'

To Cure Procrastination: Apply the Rule of Frog

Basically, the rule of frog says stop anticipating, and start each day by doing the most important thing that needs doing before you do anything else. Don't sit around thinking about taking that first bite of frog. Bite into the hardest, ugliest task you've been avoiding first thing in the morning -- and do it every morning. 

Leap Frog Your Way to a Satisfying, Productive Life

Begin simply: make a short list of 'frogs'. Then simply begin to jump through those self-imposed hoops, leap frogging your way each and every morning to a more satisfying and productive life.

And don't leap over the obvious---sometimes the thing you're avoiding doing is NOTHING! Sometimes when you're life has been filled with hyperactivity doing nothing is the most difficult activity of all.

Why wait to get started? Jump in NOW. 

Frogs to Eat First Thing in the Morning
Make a list of your frogs. Choose an ugly one.

Don't miss these ugly frogs:

• Taking time just for you.
• Practice the 'DO NOTHING' exercise.

Putting your self-care first can be a very ugly frog:

• Make that phone call
• Organize your office or home
• Start that school application
• Ask for Help
• Organize your taxes
• Make that doctor appointment 
• Start a letter to that person in need
• Start contributing  or increase the amount contributed to your retirement savings account.
• Exercise
• Find a new job
• Research colleges
• Make contact with a good friend

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

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Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing

Ducunt fata volentem, nolentem trahunt
The Fates guide those who go willingly. All others they drag.

Are You Trying to Teach a Pig to Sing?

It's a drag--that person who does things so differently from you really irritates and annoys you. So you take it upon yourself to fix him and show him how to do it your way--the right way. It works, right? Wrong.

Just as Rocky said to Bullwinkle (at the beginning of each cartoon when Bullwinkle said 'watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat'):

"That trick never works."

That trick doesn't even work if you attempt to fix yourself so you can fit your square or squiggly self into that round hole to please others.



 Stop wasting your time trying to make you or others into something you're not. As Robert Heinlein said:

 "Never try to teach a pig how to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig."

Does this mean people can't grow and change? No. It means there are many ways to accomplish things and we need to accept the differing gifts in ourselves and others with grace, compassion, and understanding. A pig can easily learn how to hunt for truffles but try as they might--they can't learn to sing.

It never works to attempt to make people over to be like you. It always works to encourage others become their own best selves.

"Never try to teach a pig how to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig," means we need to accept the realities of life. You can't make a pig sing no matter how hard you try--and no matter how annoyed the pig gets.

So the next time you try to take on another person as your make-over project, know 'that  little piggy' doesn't want to learn how to sing your tune or dance in step with your timing--so stop wasting your time and annoying her!  Let her learn her own dance and tune.



Stop Wasting Your Time and Annoying Others

We all have 100% natural, healthy, effective ways we prefer to deal with the world around us--and all of them are perfectly sound ways to get things done. You can stop wasting your time and annoying others by acknowledging these differences and learning how to make a constructive use of them.

• Where in your life are you trying to teach a pig to sing?
• Who are you annoying most--you or another person?
• Do you want to continue wasting your time or being annoyed?
• Are the Fates guiding you? Or are you being dragged to the obvious conclusions?

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.Winston Churchill

**A special thank you to Vicki Brown, a member of Linkedin MBTI discussion group for sharing "Ducunt fata volentem, nolentem trahunt"




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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


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Feeling Stressed and Overwhelmed about your Future? Ease your Mind and Take Positive Action

'A good part of courage is just being sick and tired.'  Robert Brault

Times of Transition are Unsettling 

No matter who we are, or what life changes we're experiencing, times of transition are unsettling and disruptive--leading us to initially freeze up, and temporarily suspending us in a frozen state of inertia as we try to figure things out in our heads.

Sometimes change is thrust upon us, and sometimes we gain the courage to step into the unknown because 'we're just sick and tired' of the current conditions.

What makes us tense in transitions is our focus on the future. We fear what won't happen that we want to have happen, or we fear what will happen that we don't want to happen. So we do nothing at all.

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. Ruth Ann Schabacker

Change from Future Tense to Present Ease

How do we ease our minds and begin the journey back to taking positive actions to lead us forward to the next stage of a fully-engaged and worthy life? 

When you feel overwhelmed and stuck in 'future tense', stop, take a breath, and ease back into the present. Get off the worry track. Take a day off from thinking about 'your situation', and engage in activities that let you know you are glad to be alive.

• Go out and spend time with people you are happy to have in your life NOW to laugh and celebrate your friendship. 
• Take a walk on a favorite trail.
• Take a book to read in a favorite spot.
• Visit your favorite coffee house to sip a cuppa and people-watch.

Sometimes we just need to remember--life is to be enjoyed. Instead of letting your life be determined by fear and worry--focus on putting memorable activities into your life each day. 

'To change one's life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.'   William James

'We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.' Japanese Proverb

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


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A Mother's Day Message to Children Everywhere

A Mother's Message to Children Everywhere

A mother's greatest wish is that you'll find your place in the world where you can enthusiastically contribute to the people and environment around you while maintaining your child-like innocence. 

You'll discover your greatest enjoyment in life will naturally evolve out of making the world a better place.

Don't be deterred by obstacles. Discover your passion and let it drive you past the challenges you face.

Know you have everything you need within you to deal effectively with whatever challenges life brings you.

Seek to do your best today—and every day.

Enrich the world....And of course....LOVE YOUR MOTHER!

Keep Your Child-like Innocence

The Sun

Tracy Gibbons, age 8

'The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.' 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

'Life is not a matter of holding good cards, 

but of playing a poor hand well.'  

Robert Louis Stevenson

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail.

Finding Flow and Passion in Transition

Transitioning? 

Ease forward by giving yourself plenty of time to:

• Ask questions--of yourself, then of others, to help you discover your truth.
• Make Lists--of activities you might want to transition into doing more of as you do less of what you're leaving behind.
• Acknowledge to yourself the purpose for the transition and how you feel about it.
• List what things or people you want to take with you vs what you want to leave behind.
• Acknowledge what you're grateful for in the experience you're leaving behind.

To Find FLOW and PASSION through Transitions...

Discover what Motivates your Actions

My sense of flow and passion kick in during times of transition when I consciously identify and trust my inner motivations.  Here's what motivates my actions:

• I want to be consumed with a sense of flow.
• I like to problem solve and figure out how to solve problems related to living a better life---for me, my family, and friends.
• I want my children to know they have the persistence and patience to problem solve through difficulties and challenges. I want to influence them.
• I want to be a role model for my children on how to move through life. 
• I want to pass on the keys to staying motivated and interested in life. And what to do when you lose your self-confidence, direction, or motivation.

WHAT MOTIVATES YOUR ACTIONS TO CREATE FLOW AND PASSION THROUGH TRANSITIONS?

Within your HEART keep one still secret spot where dreams may go.....

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

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Not Ready to be Nice? Good! Walk Away!

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King Jr.


I'm Not Ready to be Nice!

When I was younger I was responsible for getting my younger sister to do the dishes on the nights it was her turn. One night as we were arguing about her failure to clean the kitchen my father had enough of listening to us argue.

"Suz! Nanc! Go outside and don't come in until you're ready to be nice!"

We both did as we were told and went out on the back patio to cool off. After a few minutes my sister simply walked back into the house, but not me. I just sat out there and stewed.

Finally after so much time passed my father stuck his head out the door and said, " Suz, come on in."

But indignant I was yelled at for just trying to get my sister to do her job I was still too mad to come in and replied, "No! I'm not ready to be nice!"

Still Sitting on the Back Patio

That was one of those defining life moments for me. Over the past  50 years I've found myself 'sitting on the back patio' when someone hurts my feelings or inappropriately chastises me. There I am--totally unwilling to come in out of the cold to 'make nice'.

It's just how it is--there's a distinct period of time after a perceived injustice when I'm just not ready to deal. If I was to face the conflict before I was ready, it would only produce a poor outcome so I retreat into myself until I'm ready to come out.

Maybe Good Communication Begins with Avoidance

It's a no-brainer: If you're going to resolve conflict with someone you must face the issue and talk directly to the other person.  But sometimes you're just not ready.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, we all have those private moments of feeling like a chastised child when someone gets mad at us or 'does-us-wrong'--especially if we're working hard to do good or 'get it right'. The unfairness of it all throws us into our own private childish funk.

Think about it: What was your private reaction to a recent unfair situation or perceived injustice? What conversation went on in your head? What did you want to say to that person but didn't? How did you blow off your anger?  What's your 'sitting on the back porch unwilling to come in from the cold' experience?

Sure, as we mature we learn the art of waiting before we react when we're upset. But that doesn't stop the immediate feelings of being a reprimanded or discounted child. So maybe our path to good communication begins with avoidance. Avoiding a confrontation allows us to work through the child-like feelings before proceeding to facing the difficult--or crucial—conversation so we are better equipped to handle it well.

Self-Calming Activities Restore Your Mature Self

We all need time to let the heat of the moment subside. Stepping away from your hurt or anger to engage in self-calming activities is key to restoring good relationships and your mature self. Take a walk, talk to a friend, take a nap, play with your dog or participate in any pleasant activity that serves as a distraction from dealing with the issue.

The more time you put between when you first get upset and when you choose to talk with the other person, the more time you have to allow calm thinking and options to appear.

 Go Ahead--Sit on the Back Patio Until You're Ready

There's nothing wrong with taking your time sitting in your feelings. Don't rush to deal with an issue before you're ready. Sit out in the cold for as long as you need to. Then, when you're ready, find a way to deal with the other person so your relationship is restored.

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."George Bernard Shaw

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.

Overcoming a Case of the Blahs: The Secret to Regaining the Fire in Your Belly

'Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.' 

Corita Kent

 If everything is so Good, Why Do I feel so Blah?

We've all been there. 

There's nothing wrong. But work is stressful and you've been working too many hours to finish a project. Oddly enough you might even be thinking of quitting.

You pride yourself on putting your all into your work and this focus on excellence has brought you praise and landed you great projects you can really sink your teeth into. Everyone loves your work and sings your praises-- "You're smart, responsive, creative and productive". 

So why are you now nursing a case of the blahs--feeling anti-social, wanting to take naps instead of going out, and turning inward when you finally take time off?

Burnout and the Blahs

When you feel you've lost that fire inside driving you to excel and enthusiastically jump into the next project--or you secretly fear you're in over your head and are soon to be discovered as incompetent--you've come down with a bad case of the Burnout Blahs.

Like so many others who desire to make their mark on the world you have given your all without sufficiently replenishing your energy along the way. When we fail to adequately engage in non-productive play to re-balance, our fire and drive can extinguish quickly. 

When your emotions flat-line into a case of the blahs you know it's time to re-balance.

'Burnout is nature's way of telling you, you've been going through the motions and your soul has departed; you're a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker. False optimism is like administrating stimulants to an exhausted nervous system.' 

Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly



The Secret to Regaining the Fire in Your Belly

You already know you want to excel and be the best you can be. So why is it so difficult for you to do what you already know you need to do to maintain that fire in your belly more often than not? 

So what's the secret to regaining the Fire in Your Belly?  Engaging in non-productive play in your private persona.

Times of drive must be balanced with times of idling, and you must give yourself equal time living as your private self as you do as your public persona. Staying 'on' 24/7 is crazy-making behavior that leads to burnout, self-doubts and the blahs.

The antidote is to practice doing nothing--regularly. You must consciously plan fun private time into your week or you'll find the subtle ever-pervasive infiltration of work into your mindset. 

'Find a place you trust and then try trusting it for a while.' Corita Kent

• Stop.
• Do nothing.
• Unplug.
• Give in to that nap.
• Unplan.
• Have a dream-free day.
• Lose the expectations.
• Accomplish nothing.
• Putter.
• Lolly-gag.
• Tinker.
• Find your FLOW

'Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.'

Sam Keen

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


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Stressed Out? Calm Down!

'Personal mastery is the discipline of continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively'.  
Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline 

'You're Okay, Jessica'

Years ago I heard the story about a reporter who observed a mother in the grocery store calming her screaming toddler in full tantrum-mode. The reporter watched as this mother very calmly talked to the out-of-control child saying, "You're okay, Jessica. Everything is going to be okay, Jessica. Be  calm, Jessica. Just breathe and calm down, Jessica."

The reporter was so impressed with how calmly this mother talked to her child she followed the young mother out into the parking lot to talk to her as she strapped her child into the car seat.

"I just have to say how impressed I am with how calmly you talked to baby Jessica in the store, " she said.

The frazzled mother turned toward the reporter and giving her a tired, little smile said, "I am Jessica!"

Calming the Beast

I can't tell you the number of times that story--and punch line--has popped into my head.
I'll be in the middle of a crisis of other's creation swirling around me, thinking 'stay calm', 'breathe', 'relax'--when suddenly I see myself with that tired little smile saying 'I am Jessica'.

Most of us hate that stressed-out, out-of-control feeling. But face it--many times throughout the day we're hit with situations pushing us out of balance and giving us that anxious, queasy feeling in our gut.

So many things happen outside of our control, but our own response to those out-of-control situations IS what we have power over. The question is how do we best calm ourselves when stress happens?

Calm Begins Within

You are the only one who can calm yourself. Jessica knew this and made a valiant effort to calm herself as the situation unfolded. This is no small feat when the stress-producing factor is another human being who is tired, hungry and over-stimulated (i.e. a bundle of reactions and emotions with no ability to rationally negotiate).

But before you assume I'm just referring to the difficulty of dealing with a toddler, think again. Consider how often you begin your day frazzled when you encounter another adult who is also on her last nerve and sparks fly. We all become a bundle of reactive emotions when we're tired, hungry and over-stimulated. 

How to Step Down to Calm

1. Dis-engage. Find a way to dis-engage your emotions when stress happens. If you can--walk away from the immediate situation and keep your mouth shut. If it's not possible for you to leave the situation, dis-engage your mind  by talking yourself down like Jessica did so you don't engage your mouth.

2.  Nourish Your Body. Get in the habit of keeping your body well-nourished--eat protein every couple of hours to help keep your blood sugars even. If you discover you forgot to eat and hunger contributed to your reaction to stress, grab nourishing food as soon as you can.

3. Get Physical. Your stress response--or fight or flight response--is set up for you to take action. To dissipate the stress hormones in a positive manner, engage in something physical--pull weeds, take a walk, clean the house, dance or do yoga--anything that will burn off physical energy and calm the nerves.

4.  Sleep and Do Nothing. Sometimes the very best thing to do is to do nothing. Stop thinking about what happened. Do something you enjoy. Sleep on it.


5. Stop and Start Over.  When you're ready--let go of the anger, stress, anxiety and resentment. Restart your day and relationship. 

'If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.' Chinese Proverb

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.

Feeling Betrayed, Bitter or Disappointed? Put the Past Behind You--Give Life a Second Chance

No Matter Your Past --Find a Way to Move Your Life Forward

Whatever it is you're dealing with bringing you down, let it go and move on as soon as you're able. Why? Because you deserve a good life. 

When you hold on to feelings of betrayal, bitterness and disappointment it only affects you and your life. If  you fail to forgive your past or only chastise yourself for mistakes, failures or wrong-doing, you keep yourself in a non-productive, disengaged state of mind. 

Choose to get back to your best self--a person fully contributing to life and doing good for those around you. Give your life a second chance. Acknowledge what happened to bring you down, and find a way to move on so your life becomes about the good experiences while the hurtful, unsavory experiences become mere blips in your life.

No matter where your past led you, find a way to take positive action to move your life forward. Be forward looking and acting to become the person you desire to be, living the life you wish to enjoy.

Plunge Back into Life to Renew Your Self-Respect

Choose to move out of bitterness. Find your sweet-spot for living a fully engaged 

life filled with meaning, friendship and love.  It is never too late--no matter what has occurred in your past. Cultivate self respect and personal power by jumping back into life.

'Be not the slave of your own past - plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with new self-respect, with new power, and with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.'

Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Tender and Gentle Welcome Back to Living

If you've been hurting from your past  and are ready to let go of  the hurt and bitterness, or shame and disappointment--imagine you are surrounded by a cushion of acceptance and safety as you step back into life.   Let Mary Oliver's poem  "Sleeping in the Forest' provide you a positive image for your  'tender and gentle' welcome back to living fully-engaged. 

Sleeping in the Forest 

I thought the earth remembered me,

she took me back so tenderly,

arranging her dark skirts, her pockets

full of lichens and seeds.

I slept as never before, a stone on the river bed,

nothing between me and the white fire of the stars

but my thoughts, and they floated light as moths

among the branches of the perfect trees.

All night I heard the small kingdoms

breathing around me, the insects,

and the birds who do their work in the darkness.

All night I rose and fell, as if in water,

grappling with a luminous doom. By morning

I had vanished at least a dozen times

into something better.

from Sleeping In The Forest by Mary Oliver 

© Mary Oliver

Thank you  Yvonne Rauch for sending me a Mary Oliver Poem introducing me to her work. 

To view more Mary Oliver Poems: http://peacefulrivers.homestead.com/maryoliver.html

 'Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.'

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, sign up for free e-mail subscription.