- What are you grieving or angry about?
- Who or what has hurt you or let you down?
- What have you lost you're having a hard time letting go?
- What ugliness or pain do you keep re-living?
- Where do you need closure so you can get on with living and building new relationships?
Honor Your Experiences and Relationships Lost
Life is messy and at times painful. We hit many junctures that stop us in our tracks and make us want to jump off the fast moving train of life--not knowing if we ever want to step on that train again.
To get past our grief and pain we need closure before we can let it go.
If you look for ways to honor your past experiences--and honor the people or relationships you've lost--you'll ease the transition from grief to relief, and soothe your mind more rapidly.
Sit in Your Pain and Grieve until you're ready to let it go
Honor your past--including the relationships lost--by allowing yourself to sit in your pain until you're ready for closure and healing. Don't try to avoid the pain--let it wash over you until you're done.
When you are ready--know you have the strength to understand and the eyes to see all your past experiences and relationships--whether good or bad--have strengthened, not hardened you--and you will find a way to honor your experience so you emerge from your pain healthier and more connected to life and and more compassionate towards others.
Hold a Space for Good and True Thoughts to Appear
When we're struck by grief we fear:
- We'll be forever broken by our grief or pain--leaving us permanently damaged and unable to recover.
- We'll be hardened or weakened by what has happened.
- Our heart will be broken forever.
When you're ready to heal, let go of your guilt and shame, and recognize you are NOT your fears.
We all deal with grief, pain and suffering and while your heart may be broken now, know you hold a space within you for good and true thoughts to appear to help you come out of this stronger, healthier and richer through your life experience. Honor the strong person you are.
Embrace Forgiveness and Let Feelings of Failure Go
In the initial stages of grieving a loss not only can you feel betrayed by life, you often feel somehow you failed.
In the aftermath, you second-guess yourself, your actions, and your choices. Was I stupid for getting involved with him? Did I do enough? Why didn't I die instead of him?
Accept you did your best in the situation. Honor your experience, relationships and decisions.
Know:
- Sometimes you can love somebody who isn't good for you.
- Sometimes you can love and care for someone and they still die.
- Sometimes you can pour your heart into a job and still you are underpaid, under-appreciated or laid off.
- Sometimes you do everything you can to be healthy and still your body breaks down.
Forgive yourself and let go of all guilt or shame about the past. Create closure through affirming you've done your best and look for ways you've grown in wisdom through your experience.
Create Closure: Write a Letter You'll Never Send
- Write a farewell letter to the person you lost.
- Write a 'no holds barred' letter to the person, organization, or God that angered you or let you down.
Seeking Closure Opens You to Living
Don't be afraid to start seeking closure even while you're grieving. You don't need to let go of your pain and grief until you are truly ready.
By seeking closure through honoring your past experiences, actions and relationships you will begin to access your strength and and open yourself to living your life joyfully once again.
Living your life joyfully is the best way to honor the past and yourself.
'Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them; let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.' Rabindranath Tagore
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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.
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