Lightarted Living: August 2023

Monday, August 28, 2023

Lightarted Living: Tension is who you think you should be~Relaxation ...

Lightarted Living: Tension is who you think you should be~Relaxation ...: 'Tension is who you think you should be~Relaxation is who you are.'

Tension is who you think you should be~Relaxation is who you Are

'Tension is who you think you should be~Relaxation is who you are.' Unknown

Tension is who you think you should be

I heard from a friend who started a new job. She woke up not wanting to go to work. Why? She was stressed out thinking about how she should be perfect already despite being only a couple of weeks into the job.

When I called to check on another friend he was in too bad a mood to talk. He was overwhelmed by a new job with enough work for two people. Being a person who likes to finish and complete jobs, he was wound up because at the end of the work day he was left feeling dissatisfied that he'd accomplished too little.

And what about you? Think back over your last week. What caused you to be tense? How did it relate to who you think you should be?

Maybe you're:

Retired and think you should be doing more to enjoy it.
Single and think you should be married already.
A new working parent who thinks you should be able to balance work, parenting and 'me' time.
Freshly graduated and think you should have a job already.

Tension is Useful

We all wage our private battle of attempting to bring together where we currently are with where we want ourselves to be. The battle creating tension isn't the issue. It's what we choose to do with it.

Too often we think tension = bad, and relaxation = good. The truth is, used properly, they're both good.

Tension will wear your body down if you fail to pay attention to it. But when you pay attention, you raise your awareness of what’s causing the discrepancy between where you are and where you want to be, thus freeing you to make conscious choices about it.

Relaxation is who you are

The woman chose to pay attention to her tension and address it. I responded to her stressed-for-success story encouraging her to relax:

"Working a new job can be intense. Give yourself time to ease into it. Show up, do your best, find a way to relax into it".

By the end of the day she wrote back:

"Odd you should say show up, do your best, find a way to relax into it. I talked with the woman who hired me about my stress and she said, 'Quit trying to do everything now. You have plenty of time. Stop stressing."

Almost the same thing happened for my friend in the foul-mood. He met with his new boss the next day who just laughed that he was trying to 'get it all done'. He told him to relax, and do his best in the job-without-end.

Relax into the Moment

When you find yourself stressing about not being good enough or knowing enough as you transition into a new role, refocus your attention from focusing on the future to focusing on the present.

Relaxation is who we are NOW IN THE MOMENT; Tension is who we are anticipating and focusing on being IN THE FUTURE.

Let go of who you think you should be (future tense) and focus on the calm of being who you are in the moment.

Calm Yourself

Use tension to nudge you on your way, then focus on specific steps you can take now to ease your way forward.

Always start with steps to calm and relax yourself.

Talk to a confidant.
Take a walk.
Think outloud.
Make a plan.
Take one step.

"Imperfect, limited and vulnerable as I am,

the sun still shines upon me,

things do work out,

food appears,

rain falls and grass grows without my help."

Dharmavidya David Brazier

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Lightarted Living: I Knew You in another Life Long Long Ago

Lightarted Living: I Knew You in another Life Long Long Ago:

Near and Far

I knew you in another life

long long ago.

We played childhood game

and ran through streets

so long long ago.

I still know you

although you are years and miles away

I hold you in my heart with fondness

and childhood memories.

I Knew You in another Life Long Long Ago

Near and Far

I knew you in another life

long long ago.

We played childhood game

and ran through streets

so long long ago.

I still know you

although you are years and miles away

I hold you in my heart with fondness

and childhood memories.

How long has it been?

50 years or more?

Yet the memories are still so sweet.

Such a time of innocent fun;

what a lovely time for us to meet.

And now here you are

showing up in my thoughts today,

you are both near and far away.

What would I say to you if I saw you face-to-face?

I'd say how much I enjoyed knowing you then,

and how much you still mean to me today.

Susan J Meyerott

This is my response to David Love's photo he titled "Near and Far". David is a childhood friend I've known since elementary school. He is a singer, songwriter and photographer (and much more).

His always emotive photos stir my imagination and pull on my heart strings. Today's poem, created on David's Palette of Time, is not only directed at David, but to you that I knew in another life long long ago.

Near and Far

David Love

Monday, August 21, 2023

Lightarted Living: Stop Anticipating the Worst!

Lightarted Living: Stop Anticipating the Worst!:

Kicking the Moon

"The moon is opposing Jupiter;

Don't get involved;

It's their problem."

James Critchfield

Just like the Moon opposing Jupiter, during times of transition when we're face to face with an uncertain future we're awash with competing emotions inside.

In the emotional conflict, too often our more emphatic and fearful self kicks our calmer and more reasoned self out of our head, leaving us twitter-patted and anticipating the worst.

To stop anticipating the worst, take James Critchfield's humorous advice. When one part of your inner universe is opposing the other, "don't get involved; it's their problem".

Stop Anticipating the Worst!

Kicking the Moon

"The moon is opposing Jupiter;

Don't get involved;

It's their problem."

James Critchfield

The day before I had gallbladder surgery I was like a whirling dervish, spinning faster and faster, trying to put everything in order before I was laid up. This ritual dance is a must do before any perceived interruption in the known future, including vacations.

To stop myself from 'anticipating the worst' or fretting about what's going to happen, I did all those mindless tasks I usually avoid to prepare for the surgery and beyond--Vaccuming and dusting the house; washing all bedding and towels; shopping for food; preparing chicken soup and other 'just in case' meals; and taking my daily walk on the trail.

Just like the Moon opposing Jupiter, during times of transition when we're face to face with an uncertain future we're awash with competing emotions inside.

In the emotional conflict, too often our more emphatic and fearful self kicks our calmer and more reasoned self out of our head, leaving us twitter-patted and anticipating the worst.

To stop anticipating the worst, take James Critchfield's humorous advice. When one part of your inner universe is opposing the other, "don't get involved; it's their problem".

But how do you do that? You stop thinking, and move into a matter-of-fact doing mode. In other words, just actively do what you have to do to move through the current challenge while staying in the present.

Another word for anticipation is future-tense. To anticipate the worst you have to be future-oriented instead of present-oriented. It's our focus on the future that makes us tense.

How to Stop Anticipating the Worst

But taking action is done in the present. When you stay focused on doing instead of thinking, you use one or more of your 5 senses which can only be experienced in the moment or present.

See, hear, taste, touch, smell. Waken your senses.Get out of your head.
Go for a walk. Smell the flowers. Look for birds. Feel the wind and sun.
Cook a new meal. Focus on following the recipe. Smell the aroma. Taste the dish.
Draw, color, or paint. Feel the color.
Read emotive poetry outloud. Let your inner moon smile at your inner night.