Lightarted Living: HOPE: Never Give Up

Lightarted Living: HOPE: Never Give Up: HOPE   'Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stop...

Lightarted Living: Let Go--Be Happy: Tension is who you think you sho...

Lightarted Living: Let Go--Be Happy: Tension is who you think you sho...:   'Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts .' Buddha How do you react when things are going goo...

Lightarted Living: Upbeat People: Six Secrets to Being Optimistic in ...

Lightarted Living: Upbeat People: Six Secrets to Being Optimistic in ...: Write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.... 'Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearl...

Lightarted Living: Relationship Difficulties? Seek Silence and Separa...

Lightarted Living: Relationship Difficulties? Seek Silence and Separa...: Stop! You're stressing me out! Dealing with Relationship Problems �� Where is the OFF button for establishing appropriate bo...

Relationship Difficulties? Seek Silence and Separation to Reestablish Boundaries

Stop! You're stressing me out!

Dealing with Relationship Problems

💓 Where is the OFF button for establishing appropriate boundaries in your personal relationships with love interests, spouses, children, parents or extended family and friends? 

💙 What do you do when you're burned out trying to make a relationship work? 

I love you but I need space!

Sometimes We Need Peace and Quiet 

Face it. We can all use a bit of space now and then when things get overwhelming in our relationships and life. 

Sometimes as we navigate life, things get messy and entangled between parents and children, spouses and partners, or with friends and siblings. Other times life just gets messy and stressful and we need to be left alone to sort things out. 

When difficulties arise and emotions are charged it's difficult to remember everyone is doing the best they can, including you. 

During times of upheaval in our lives or relationships we need ways to establish appropriate boundaries so we can figure out how to move life forward.

But too often that doesn't happen as we move in closer in an attempt to 'help' or influence one another and we implode in acute bouts of anger and frustration heaped on one another. 

When you do things from your soul,

You feel a river moving in you--a joy 

Rumi

Use Silence and Separation to Refresh Your Relationships

If the harder you try to fix a relationship or issue, the worse you make it: 

💓Stop. Pull Back. Do nothing. Do something else. Spend time with other people.

💙Seek silence, solitude, and separation so you can hear yourself think. This is NOT to be interpreted as giving someone 'the silent treatment'--it's a calm time out from interacting. You need solitude so you can 'do things from your soul'.

💚Sometimes you don't need to talk more to solve a difference or problem. You need to put it down, separate, and create open space for everyone to breath and think.

“Life becomes easier when you learn 

to accept an apology you never got.”

Robert Brault

For Family Issues 

💙After you've reset your boundaries with a troublesome family member, consider what you want in the relationship. Do you want this person out of your life for good, or do you want to reestablish your relationship and work through the current difficulty?

💓Think long term. Don't let hurts separate you forever. Find your compassion and sense of humor.

Definition of Family: The people who stick with you through all the problems you'd never have if they weren't your family.

For Love Interests

💓Always set appropriate boundaries according to the spoken rules of the relationship.

What do you do when someone you're interested in romantically says  "I just want to be friends", then proceeds to text you well after 11 pm or wants to get together at 10 pm?

While you may want to push the limits of the relationship, you will only burn yourself out by accepting the 'we're just friends' while still acting as if you are more than that.

To maintain balance in your relationship (and leave the door open to the possibility of a love relationship developing) you need to set appropriate 'friend' boundaries by working off the spoken 'friend' rule.

💙Friends spend time in the daylight and early evening. Lovers spend time late into the night.

When you play by the 'friend rule' you take the 'I only want to be friends' person at his/her word and you relate like friends--without allowing the other person to inappropriately invade your life like an intimate--you don't date; you don't take phone calls or text messages after 10 pm; you spend daytime and early evening time together, not late night time together--and you freely date other people and talk about it. 

Do not allow other people complete run of your life by allowing them to act on both the spoken and unspoken rules. Whatever the spoken rules are those are the ones you play by--not by what you think is really going on (the unspoken rules).

Silence IS Golden

Bounce back from feeling burned out by your relationships--seek silence and reestablish boundaries by changing one small thing. What adjustment will you make to regain your balance? How will you approach your relationship after you've had time to think on your own?

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before. 

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover Your ...

Lightarted Living: Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover Your ...: I Wish to Live a Life that Causes My Soul to Dance   Remember Typewriters?   I wrote my first few books and articles on a typewriter...

Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover Your Motivation for Keeping Up

I Wish to Live a Life that Causes My Soul to Dance

 Remember Typewriters? 

I wrote my first few books and articles on a typewriter. 

At the time I first began to publish one of my good friends and colleagues said, "Your forte is speaking and communicating to a live audience, Sue--I don't think you'll be able to capture that in the written word."

That was the only thing I worried about back then--could I translate the power of the spoken word into written words and elicit action from the reader? (Okay I worried about run-on sentences too.)

I didn't have to think twice about how or where to put my thoughts to paper. 

There were no personal computers, laptops, or tablets; No internet sites, FAX machines, or e-mail; No cell phones, smart phones, scanners, or digital cameras; No blogs, on-line courses, webinars, video conferencing, or learning management systems; No social networking--no Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn; No Kindles, Amazon or e-books. 

I used the tools available to me at the time--pen, paper, typewriter, white out with my best typing skills; and snail mail aka 'the mail'--alongside my naked lack of experience but strong desire to communicate with the world.

When Does 3 Months of Experience Trump 35 Years?

In the 35 plus years I've worked in the training and development field, I've honed my speaking, facilitation, writing and program development skills. Those 35 years of experience count for a lot. I am a skilled communicator, motivator and leader. I conduct meaningful and engaging workshops. But this is not enough.

In today's technologically-based world, sometimes 3 months of experience trumps 35 years of experience. 

This isn't to say 35 years of experience in the workplace isn't important. It means it's just as important for us to stay current learning and applying new technologies.

 Overwhelmed by the Speed of Change? Discover What Motivates You to Keep Up

If you're like most people, you're overwhelmed by the rapid speed of change in technology. 

But instead of becoming overwhelmed by the speed at which things are changing, seek to maintain a passion for life-long learning and look for your current motivators to help you step into the next phases of technology. Then take the next step.

In the last 10 years I've been motivated to learn how to use the latest technology by two things: 1) my need to communicate with and influence others, and 2) my desire to find new ways to play with and showcase my art. This is how the blog was started.

I started Lightarted Living so I could play with technology and communicate with you through the written word and the visual arts. In the seven years I've blogged my skills and confidence have improved without my trying. I've kept my eyes on my interests and learned how to use current technological tools in the course of following those interests.

What Blows Your Hair Back?

💓What motivates you today?

💙What sets your curiosity on fire?

💚What are you driven to play with?

Don't let your fear of not knowing what you're doing stop you from keeping up with the times. We're all inexperienced and ignorant before we begin. Once you begin your learning speeds up, especially if you keep your eyes on your interests rather than on what you don't know.

Figure out what excites you, and use it to motivate you to play with technology to further your personal and/or professional goals. The 1st step in is always the most difficult. Technology has in fact become easier to use by Luddites and common folk alike. 

What do you want yourself to do NOW? How can you play to learn and change? What's one step you can take to move toward something you want to do better? 

Small Daily Decisions Over a Lifetime Add Up!

Relax and Play! 

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before. 

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Love Your Life: 15 Affirmation Hearts to Center an...

Lightarted Living: Love Your Life: 15 Affirmation Hearts to Center an...: Love Your Life Each day provides a fresh start. Grab the opportunities freely provided to you. Love your life! Sign Up f...

Love Your Life: 15 Affirmation Hearts to Center and Uplift You

Love Your Life

Each day provides a fresh start. Grab the opportunities freely provided to you.

Love your life!

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before. 

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Step Past Your Current Conundrum (of which there's...

Lightarted Living: Step Past Your Current Conundrum (of which there's...: 'If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are you share the same fear as all other humans: the fear of losing love, respect a...

Step Past Your Current Conundrum (of which there's sure to be one) to Serve Others

'If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are you share the same fear as all other humans: the fear of losing love, respect and connection to others. And if you are human, in order to avoid or prevent the pain, trauma and perceived devastation of the loss, you will do anything to avoid your greatest fear from being visited on you.'    Iyanla Vanzant

Stepping Past Your Current Conundrum (of which there's sure to be one)

No matter what you're going through; no matter what the past; it's time to open yourself up to all the marvels of creation you have to offer the world as you step past your current conundrum. 

Our struggles strengthen us and give us something to push against while growing our hearts and compassion for others. Why waste one of the world's greatest assets--your active participation? Why hide your gifts from the world? Who are you to horde your talents?

Take the Focus off You--Put it where it Belongs

Don't let self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy force you into hiding. When you discover you've retreated from the world feeling shameful about being defective or inadequate, take one small step a day to come out of hiding.  Get the focus off YOU and put it where it belongs--on how to best serve others.

Ask yourself: 

💓How can I best serve the world, my community and my family? 

💙What is one thing I can do today to contribute to those around me?

💚What one thing can I do today to better position myself for serving in my community?

💛What is one thing I can do today to make a difference for one person?

Using Your Strengths to Serve Others

Stop fixating on your inadequacies. When you take the focus off you and put it on serving others instead, you'll stop ruminating on your weaknesses and fears and allow your life to naturally emerge out of your strengths and caring for others.

'Compassion is the unfettered yearning that responds to the world with noble heart, the understanding that others are just like us. Radiating from basic goodness like the sun, compassion lifts us above self-involvement and brings us out of the Dark Age. Just like the sun behind a cloud, it shines through our self-centeredness.'       Sakyong Mipham

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Susan J Meyerott loves helping people become more fully themselves, particularly those working through anxiety, life and career transitions, relationships, and self-esteem issues. She provides a nonjudgmental, growth-oriented environment for you to become the person you’re meant to be—while appreciating the richness of who you already are. Learn more at Lightarted Living Blog

Lightarted Living: Embrace Sorrow and Sadness as Natural and Enrichin...

Lightarted Living: Embrace Sorrow and Sadness as Natural and Enrichin...: TO BATHE~TO WASH SADNESS FROM THE MIND Tracy A Gibbons 'When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find...

Lightarted Living: Lose or Hate Your Job? Embrace Adversity and Grow ...

Lightarted Living: Lose or Hate Your Job? Embrace Adversity and Grow ...: Adversity is a Powerful Teacher You're not the first person to lose or hate your job and you won't be the last. As much as ...

Lose or Hate Your Job? Embrace Adversity and Grow Stronger

Adversity is a Powerful Teacher

You're not the first person to lose or hate your job and you won't be the last. As much as we hate to admit it, adversity is a powerful teacher, nudging us on to greatness. 

Choose to embrace adversity. Check out how some of the greats who've struggled before you have come to terms with adversity.

Be Strong. Friedrich Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." 

While being unemployed and struggling to find work or struggling to stay in a dead-end job  is uncomfortable, you can find your strength and purpose through the process. 

Walt Disney wrote, "All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

Break Records. Writer William Arthur Ward wrote: "Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records." 

Steve Jobs was spurred on to achieve more after being fired from Apple. Don't let your situation break you; let it spur you on to greatness.

Reveal Your Talents. Horace said: "Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant." 

Look past your self-doubt and self-consciousness to discover your talents. Let the discomfort motivate you to dig deep to unleash your hidden talents. 

"Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it." Horace

Become a Better You. "Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with," wrote Thomas Carlyle. 

You are a jewel being polished by your struggles. Accept this truth and you'll become the gem that shines.

Courage means to Take Heart

Do you know the origins of the word 'Courage'? First known use of the word was in the 14th century. The word courage   has been traced  back to  corage (Middle English;, curage, quer, and coer  meaning  heart (Anglo-French); and cor (Latin) meaning more at heart.

Synonyms for Courage: great heartedness, guts, gutsiness, hardihood, heart, heroism, intestinal fortitude,  moxie, nerve, prowess, stoutness, valor, virtue

Take Heart in Your Struggles

Find Great Heartedness within Yourself

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Listening for Stillness

Lightarted Living: Listening for Stillness: To Bathe:  To Wash Sadness from the Mind Tracy Gibbons Releasing the Hurts of the Day  Who doesn't need soft reminders to ...

Listening for Stillness

To Bathe: 

To Wash Sadness from the Mind

Tracy Gibbons

Releasing the Hurts of the Day 

Who doesn't need soft reminders to wash away the sadness and hurts of the day? We all need ways to refresh our spirits, listen for stillness, and quiet ourselves at the end of a long day or trying week. 

Do you have something that works for you?

Visual, musical, or poetic prompts can serve to focus and calm us, while helping us 'listen for stillness'.

If you don't have something in your environment serving to prompt you to 'let it go' at the end of the day that helps you to start the next day refreshed, consider three prompts I use and consider creating your own.

1. Art in the Bathroom

When my young daughter, Tracy, painted the girl with the sad eyes 15 years ago I added the description  'to bathe' that a friend recently shared with me--'to wash sadness from the mind', and I hung it in my bathroom where it still hangs as a daily reminder to 'let it all go'. I love getting daily inspiration from my daughter, and I am reminded of her every time I see the picture. 

Hanging a positive calming reminder in the bathroom gives you daily exposure.  If you see a calming message enough times it seeps in and sets you on a positive life path. 

2. Colorful Affirmation Hearts

I began creating water-colored affirmation hearts as a way to provide uplifting messages to family, friends and co-workers going through difficult times. I soon discovered the uplifting effect it had on me to create and share them. I am uplifted and calmed every time I share these with you.

Pick out one affirmation heart to contemplate a day. Keep it simple and focused. Make your own or find what you need in this blog.

William Blake's Voices of Children

Susan J Meyerott

3. Poetic Art in the Bedroom 

This poem by William Blake is the ultimate calming poem for me. It hangs in my bedroom where I see it first thing upon waking and last thing before lights off. It creates utter stillness in my soul. This poem says everything is well in the world. 

When the voices of children are heard on the green,

And laughing is heard on the hill,

My heart is at rest within my breast,

And everything else is still.

William Blake

My heart at rest within my breast and everything else is still

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.

Lightarted Living: Feeling Betrayed and Bitter? Let Self-Imposed Cons...

Lightarted Living: Feeling Betrayed and Bitter? Let Self-Imposed Cons...: 'Life becomes easier when you learn  to accept an apology you never got.'  Robert Brault What Hurts? ❤ Who or w...

Lightarted Living: Mindfulness: Deep Listening Heals

Lightarted Living: Mindfulness: Deep Listening Heals: 'Take a walk at night.  Walk so silently that the bottoms of your feet become ears.' Pauline Oliveros, Deep Listening Compose...

Lightarted Living: Mindfulness: Deep Listening Heals

Lightarted Living: Mindfulness: Deep Listening Heals: 'Take a walk at night.  Walk so silently that the bottoms of your feet become ears.' Pauline Oliveros, Deep Listening Compose...

Lightarted Living: Mess Up? The Trick to Recovering from Mistakes

Lightarted Living: Mess Up? The Trick to Recovering from Mistakes: What Happens After You Mess Up?  Mistakes happen. But according to brain research it's what happens after you mess up that's...

Mess Up? The Trick to Recovering from Mistakes

What Happens After You Mess Up? 

Mistakes happen. But according to brain research it's what happens after you mess up that's really interesting.

When you mess up, how do you react?  

😊Do you problem solve and figure out how to correct your error--and ultimately bounce back from making the error? 

😢Or do you feel stupid, inept and ultimately give up?

How You Think about Your Capacity to Grow Smarter Determines Your Reaction to Mistakes

It turns out whether you believe you can grow smarter or not determines how you'll respond to the mistakes you make--i.e. whether you'll choose to learn from your mistakes or just give up.

According to a **study looking at brain activity in response to making mistakes, people who believe they can learn from their mistakes have brains that pay more attention to mistakes--and they share a belief that intelligence isn't fixed--it can be shaped (i.e. we can learn from our mistakes).

👉If you believe your intelligence can be shaped you believe 'I learn from my mistakes', 'happy mistakes are good', or 'a mistake is just a learning experience' and you take action to rectify your mistake and move on.  

👉But if you believe 'you either have the smarts or you don't' --i.e. you believe in a 'fixed intelligence'--you fail to take actions to learn from your mistakes and just give up.

'Acting As If' is the Key to Tweak Your Thoughts to Recover from Mistakes

Okay, so now you know: You hold the key to bouncing back from making mistakes in your head. If you believe you can grow smarter you can make happy mistakes and learn from them. 

But what if you're one of the people who simply believes you're not smart?  Then you Act As If--and step over the invisible belief barrier to taking action. 

When you make a mistake or error--don't think--'act as if' and take action. 

Act As If:

💓You can learn from your mistakes and grow smarter--and take action.

💙You have confidence in yourself--and take action.
💚You can correct your mistakes--and take action

💛It matters that you know the correct answer to perform better in the future--and take action.

💜You are coachable--and take action.

Beliefs Follow Actions

Why does 'acting as if ' work?  Research shows if you want to change a belief, take action. When you experience a discrepancy between what you believe and how you act, you will change your beliefs to follow your actions. 

Acting as if you can grow smarter will result in you believing you can --and improve your ability to learn from your mistakes.

Our Brains Are Wired to Make Mistakes

We all want to be the best we can be and therefore hate making mistakes and looking stupid. But our brains are wired to make mistakes so errors are going to happen. 

When you make a mistake, stop thinking how stupid you are and step into problem solving instead. Get the most out of your life--show yourself you're someone who learns from you mistakes.

Stop trying to be mistake free and start using your happy mistakes as learning experiences and growth opportunities.

 'There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.' 

The Buddha 

**Many thanks to Grant Soosalu in Australia for sharing the study in his Life Enhancing Blog. Please visit Grant's blog @  http://enhancingmylife.blogspot.com/ or check out his book  "mBraining - Using your multiple brains to do cool stuff" on Amazon.

Change Your Behavior to Change Your Belief

Free Yourself to Make Happy Mistakes

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.