'It
is not that
I
avoid mixing
with
the world;
but
I do better
playing
alone.'
RyĆkan
Anti-Social or Honoring a Need for Solitude?
"It's curious but I'm getting a tad anti-social in my old age," a friend recently wrote.
"I bumped into an old friend recently while vacationing in her town. Surprised to see me, she immediately castigated me for not getting in touch with her so we could visit. I felt badly about quietly slipping into town without contacting her, but I just felt a need to slow down and stop trying to do so much when I travel."
I totally understand where she's coming from. She--like me--is an outgoing and gregarious fun-loving person who enjoys the company of others. Yet for balance, sometimes we all need to seek solitude and limit our interactions with others to get back to our own center.
"I don't think of it as being anti-social, I wrote her. "I think of it as being more contained and thoughtful for how I want to spend my time in the moment. Sometimes I just need time to sit with my own thoughts and share my own company."
'Writers
may be solitary but they also tend to flock together:
They like being solitary
together.'
Neil
Gaiman
No Guilt-No Expectation Friendships
One of my best friends and I have a no guilt-no expectations relationship. We do not get mad at each other for failing to call, visit or follow through on what we were going to do together if it gets too cold or whatever. And we don't get upset if the other chooses to spend time with other people instead of us.
Although we love each other dearly we leave lots of room for being ourselves with each other--fully understanding each other's need to get together--or not. We never take offense if we don't get together. We are simply appreciative of spending time together when we do show up.
While we do need to nurture and grow our important relationships we also need to nurture ourselves. Just because we have space open up in our schedule that doesn't mean we need to fill it up.
Alone at Last
To honor your need for alone time, let go of your expectations for being on-call for others at all time. Turn off your phone, leave emails or text messages unanswered, or take a walk in nature alone.
Chose to come together with others out of genuine desire to spend time with them rather than guilt over leaving them out.
'Let
there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.'
Kahlil
Gibran
Solitude: A Gift from Nature
The cool
water whirls between my toes
Jeans
rolled up above my knees
Dirt from
the pathway above trickles down the hill
Trees
spinning in every direction
Protecting
me in my spot
My
territory
A bird in
the distance echoes a sweet lullaby
I could
almost dream to the sound
But I would
rather stay here
Indian
paintbrush spreads like wildfire among these ditches
It's as if
you could pick it and eat it for dinner
Connecting
with the universe
Through
soil
My spot
swallowing me whole
And I would
not have it any other way
In the
sweetest abyss of solitude
Alone at
last
White noise
of nature
A streak of
sky through the tree tops
The
waterfall only big enough for a fairy
I can see
the remains of the dust from a previous visitor
Footsteps
getting closer
Closer
I duck into
my cavern among the sweetest lullaby and edible flowers
Only I know
the password
Away from
the outside strangers with nothing but bland points of view
Tracy A Gibbons
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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.
Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.
For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.
Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.
2 comments:
Well said, Sue, very well said. As an introvert I've always required a lot of time alone. Hey, if I'm alone, I'm in good company, right? But I have a dear friend who is an extravert who is finding she now needs more time alone to recharge than she used to.
Jean you know the ultimate key to enjoying life--knowing you are good company and worthy of spending time by yourself. As an extravert I feel the same.
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