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Tuesday, June 9, 2015

One Sure Sign Co-Workers Don't Trust You--And What to Do About it

'The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said.' Anon

Don't Believe Everything You Think

Do you take pride in being such a positive, upbeat person that people only bring you positive news? Don't believe everything you think!

If you want to excel as a leader and accomplish great things you need to learn the art of listening without judgment so people will freely share, not withhold, their complaints.

Think about it:

  • The last time a co-worker or customer came to you with complaints or negative feedback, how did you handle it? 
If you react to complaints or unpleasant news by shutting down the conversation as fast as possible through defensive, blaming behavior and other unsatisfactory responses you teach others not to confide in you--and you lose valuable information that can help you improve.

When customers go away dissatisfied from talking with you they tell other people and take their business elsewhere. 

When co-workers go away dissatisfied from communicating with you they simply cut you out of the communication loop in the future and this can adversely affect your work.

If You Only Hear Positives, It's a Sure Sign You Aren't Trusted

When you become that person who fails to hear anything negative from those around you--it's a sure sign you aren't trusted. 

People quickly learn to withhold problems or negative comments from you when your reaction to hearing bad news is to punish them or shut them up rather than to listen intently.

Don't lose valuable information by blocking out the negative. Learn to gain other's trust by listening, without comment, when they are the bearers of 'bad news'. Listen with an open and curious stance--ready to use all information to help you improve yourself or the workplace.

To Gain Trust: Listen without Judgment 

  • Actively seek feedback from others--and use all information to propel you and your projects forward.
  • Actively listen so others feel heard.
  • Say thank you for all comments--positive or negative.
  • Ask for ideas to improve.
  • Take action that demonstrates you care and heard.

'Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.' Robert Charles Benchley

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

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