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Sunday, August 17, 2014

Bored? Lonely? Waiting for Life to Happen? Break Free and Go After it

"It is not your role to make others happy; it is your role to keep yourself in balance. When you pay attention to how you feel and practice self-empowering thoughts that align with who-you-really-are, you will offer an example of thriving that will be of tremendous value to those who have the benefit of observing you. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment." Abraham

Bored? Lonely? Waiting for Life to Happen?

Winston Churchill once said, "If you wait long enough....something will happen!" And so it is with our lives. The question is how long are you willing to wait?

You shouldn't fret about being bored or lonely. As uncomfortable as these emotional states are--they're great motivators spurring us on to do something different in our lives. When a situation becomes uncomfortable enough you'll use it to energize yourself to take steps to improve your situation.  

Your Tolerance for Being Uncomfortable Determines How Quickly You Move On

No one escapes experiencing boredom, loneliness or disappointment. We're all forced to move through rough emotional times on our way to finding or keeping that partner worthy of a lifetime, that life path we feel called to pursue, or simply when regaining our balance after making life transitions.  How much discomfort you can put up with will determine how quickly you move past it. 

Spurring Yourself On

In my twenties my major lessons included learning how to enjoy being alone while staying open to finding a mate, and also learning how to get involved in activities I enjoyed after seven years of disciplined academic life where I learned to postpone pleasure for studies. 

Later in life, my on-going lessons became learning how to enjoy being alone despite having a mate, and how to reacquaint myself with what I enjoy doing after experiencing major life transitions or working too much.

After I graduated from college I was fortunate enough to run across a life planning exercise that put me on the path to spurring myself on to enjoying my life and regaining my balance and direction each time after my life got out of whack.  I am sharing it with you below.

A Life Planning Exercise People Love to Hate

This is a simple exercise that takes very little time to do. You just have to start it...then follow through one step at a time.

The hardest thing about starting this exercise is many people find it uncomfortable to think about what they want. I've had people describe this and other such life planning exercises as the most important exercise they ever did--that they loved to hate.

If you are tired of being bored, lonely or disappointed with life, take the time to do the exercise. The key is to limit the amount of time you give yourself to consider answering to no more than two minutes for each segment. Limiting the time you allow yourself will limit your discomfort.

Imagine you have 6 months to live. All activities around your death have been taken care of. What things would you want to accomplish or do? How would you enjoy spending your last days?

1. Take two minutes to list everything you'd like to do without judging what's on the list.

2. Next take another two minutes to look over your list and refine, add to, eliminate.

3. Last look at your list and ask yourself how many of the things on your list are you currently doing.

4. Pick one thing on your list to do then commit to one step. Pursue it until you've had enough then pick another one and go after that.

Use Boredom, Loneliness and Disappointment to Propel You Forward!

When I did this exercise for the first time in my twenties I looked at my list and discovered I wasn't participating in any activities I wanted to pursue. Nada. I had just gotten out of seven years of college where I learned to postpone 'fun' activities that were not academically related. 

It was startling--and motivating. I started on a year of fun and adventure after that....getting involved in a choir, traveling, taking guitar lessons, doing art, writing a book, playing with friends--you name it--I went after it.

If this sounds like you, get going! Sure, you can wait until 'something happens' but why wait when you can begin to step into your life one step at a time.

Use your boredom, loneliness and disappointments to propel you forward!  Plan one adventure for yourself--giving you 
something to look forward to--then see how that feels. If you like it you can do it again. If you don't like it, do something else. 

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.


Jean | Delightful Repast said...

Sue, the first thing that popped into my head was that I would take a trip with my husband, a trip that is going to be difficult for me in a number of ways. (Don't be surprised to hear from him!) :D

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. said...

Jean I just got back from a short trip with my hubby. It was just what we needed. We talked about this exercise and came up with more activities to put in place NOW. I look forward to hearing from your husband!