Carrying Negative Baggage? Let it Go

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."  Johann Wofgang von Goethe

Uncovering the Naked Truth

Lately I've been thinking about the story of two monks who happen upon a naked woman standing by a river. The woman wants to cross the river and asks the Monks if one would carry her to the other side. One Monk agrees while the other steps back in horror, but says nothing.

When they get to the other side, the Holy Man carrying the woman puts her down at the bank of the river and the two Monks walk on, traveling the next 10 miles in silence.

The Monk who maintains his purity by refusing to touch the woman ponders the incorrectness of the other's action. As he walks down the road, he simply cannot get the image of the naked woman out of his head. He sees the image of his Brother carrying the naked woman playing over and over again in his head.

Finally at the end of the day the uncontaminated Monk can stand it no longer. He breaks his silence and says, 'how is it you soiled your body and mind by touching that naked woman?'

To which the other Monk replies, 'I left her at the bank of the river while you, on the other hand, have carried her with you all day.'

Which Monk Are You?

We all have the capacity to carry both Monks within us. There is the side of us who jumps into life with simple, straightforward non-judgmental action, and the other side who is filled with 'shoulds', 'don'ts', rules and judgments--who continues to ruminate and second-guess our actions and experiences long after they're over.

Which Monk do you relate to most? Do you spend more time carrying negative thoughts and experiences with you? Or do you strive to walk through your perceived negativity so you can let it go, and move on with your life?

'Naked Lady' Experiences Leave You Feeling Vulnerable

Let me share one of my 'naked lady' stories with you. Early in my career in Los Angeles, when I was a trusting and fresh-faced professional I had a charismatic colleague--who I admired very much--methodically turn other co-workers against me. This was a very public experience that left me feeling exposed and vulnerable, and influenced my outlook for years.

Initially when I revisited Los Angeles after moving away, my mind would be drawn to revisit that uncomfortable experience, and I had to deal with the feeling everyone was judging me each time we came in contact.

Yet years down the road as I was conversing with a colleague who was a major player in THE EVENT I discovered she had no memory of it at all. My naked lady experience I carried within me as a HUGE memory she put down immediately after things transpired.

Furthermore, when I checked in with other people who were involved in my BIG EVENT, their recollection of the experience was minuscule or non-existent. There was no group memory of what transpired--only what I carried with me in my mind. I could have put down my naked lady experience instead of carrying it with me all those years.

What 'Naked Lady Experience' are you carrying with you today?

• What events, experiences or embarrassments are your 'naked lady' experiences causing you to feel exposed and vulnerable?
• Have you been publicly embarrassed, laid off, divorced, or 'made a fool' by a love interest?
• Are you embarrassed because you've lost your home, failed to get a job, or while you may have a job you're being underpaid for your skills and talents?
• What do you need to name, examine and let go?

Most people are too busy with their own lives to maintain an inventory of the negative events and experiences of yours. Don't let your 'naked lady' experiences get a toe-hold in your mind. Let them go and move on with your life.


"The basis of your life is absolute freedom, the goal is joy, and the result of that perfect combination is motion forward, or growth. Your goal is to find objects of attention that let your cork rise."  Abraham

Credit to Sun Gazing Facebook Page



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For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

Are You a Leader? Do Your Actions Inspire Others to Dream More, Learn More and Become More?

"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work." Peter Drucker

Do you fancy yourself a leader?

I hope so. All of us are in a position to positively influence the lives of those around us. That makes you a potential leader no matter what official title or position in life you may hold--even if you are jobless at the moment.

Sometimes I feel like a Leader-less Child.....

'Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.' Peter Drucker

Perhaps in your current situation you feel 'leader-less' despite being surrounded by high-titled 'Senior Leadership' or other such formally sanctioned persons. Why not step in and fill the leadership void in your life?

Yikes! You mean just Take Charge?

No. Leadership is not about exerting power, it is about acting in ways that others want to follow you. The best leaders are calm, clear, focused and understated.

So how do you fill the leadership void in your life? What is a leader--and how do you qualify as one? Personally, I like the definition of a leader provided by John Quincy Adams, 6th President of the United States:
 
'If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.'

While anyone can call themselves a leader, few sanctioned leaders satisfy this powerful standard set by John Quincy Adams. In fact, many who call themselves leaders do the opposite of inspiring others to become more. Through their own self-centeredness or fear they leave others feeling powerless and full of self-doubt.

But there is no reason why you cannot choose to become this leader, inspiring others--as well as yourself-- to dream more, learn more, do more and become more through your own actions.

Inspire Others through Your Own Struggles

So what is your situation at the moment? Are you in the middle of a confidence crisis? Have you temporarily lost your ability to dream? Have others made you doubt yourself?

Take heart. You have within you the strength and ability to handle whatever life throws at you. And you are the perfect person to inspire others.

We are inspired when we witness others continuing to reach for their dreams despite difficult circumstances. The most inspiring stories--like that of J.K. Rowling, author of the highly successful Harry Potter series--are always about people who recovered from dire circumstances to go on to achieve great things. We want to see others dare to dream and achieve so we have the courage to do the same.

Choose An Inspired--Or Spirit-filled Life

Dr. Wayne Dyer says moment by moment we choose to live inspired or not. We are either enthused--or spirit-filled--or not. We have a choice.

Inspire literally means in-spirit---or filled with a spirited, animated or exalted influence. It also means to inhale or to breathe life into.

Now, more than ever, we need leaders who can inspire others--as well as themselves--to dream more. Too many have lost their ability to dream as hope fades, fear rises, and good jobs seem to disappear. But without dreams we cannot create for the future.

So be of good cheer--and chose an inspired life. Choose to have the courage to dream and take action to follow your dreams--especially in troubled times. Through your courageous actions you'll inspire others to follow your lead.

 

What are you doing to Inspire Yourself?

• What are you doing to keep the dream alive in yourself?
• What are your aspirations?
• What actions are you taking to step into your dream?
• How can your actions be an inspiration to those around you?

 

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

Susan J Meyerott, M.S. Do you need help keeping your dream alive? International speaker and award-winning author, Susan Meyerott provides dynamic interactive workshops for people ready to better manage their work, life and health. Her programs have won national recognition and have been used in homes and organizations throughout the United States, England and Canada.

For more than 25 years, Susan has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. As a speaker and writer, Susan blends her unique background in health promotion, accelerated learning, and communication with a very personal, practical, and humorous style. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

To Think is Easy. To Act is Difficult.To Act as One Thinks is the Most Difficult.

"What is the hardest thing you can possibly do?" she said

when I went to her for advice on the darkest day of the first half of my life."

 

"Why must I do what is hardest?"

 

"Because you are an instrument of God.

Don't leave the instrument sitting in its case. Play!

Leave no part of your instrument unexplored.

Why settle for 'Three Blind Mice' when you can play the 'Gloria'?"

 

Abraham Verghese, Cutting For Stone

Dealing with the Dark Days of our Lives

We all have our dark days when faced with adversity or defeat when we question if anything we've ever done--or will do--is worthwhile. Perhaps you're having one of those times now.

Maybe when you look around, you see others seemingly flying past obstacles and meeting with success, while you alone sit in solitude and pain. You want to take a step but you're not sure how to pull out of the darkness that has invaded your life.

As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote in the 1800s:

"To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult."
 

To pull out of the dark days of your life, as Verghese says you must do what is hardest, and as Goethe says, the hardest is to take action--in ways you believe are right for you.

• What do you believe you are destined to do?
• What do you think is the right thing for you to do at this moment?
• Where do your interests take you?
• What do you wish someone would ask you to do?
• What is your 'Three Blind Mice' way to play life? What is your 'Gloria'?

 

"Everybody wants to be somebody but nobody wants to grow." Goethe

Is it Time to Ask for Help?

When the dark days hit it IS difficult to take action. That is the time to reach out to others who can help you find your dreams, and nudge you to act on them. We all need help at times re-discovering our dreams and gaining the courage to act on them.

Who are the one to two people in your life you can call on? Contact one of them and ask for a chat today.

Don't just sit in darkness--reach out to one person--and let that be the action that gets you off your 'three blind mice' track onto the path to playing your Gloria.

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

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If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

 For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.

All Stressed-out and No One to Choke?

'A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.' Chinese Proverb

How are you today?

• 'All stressed out and no one to choke?'
• Someone at work making it difficult for you to do good work and accomplish your goals?
• Sending job applications into faceless on-line computer sites and getting round after round of rejection?

Put Adversity to Work for You

Golden Opportunities are everywhere-- especially in adversity and tough times.

Somehow it seems there's always that one person at work or in our life that irritates and annoys us. And now, for job seekers, there isn't even that person to make life miserable---just a matrix computer program that weeds you out before a real person can even look at your resume. Sometimes we feel trapped in a situation with no way out.

React and Your Irritant Controls You

Too often we react to unpleasant situations by 'actively avoiding what we don't want'.

• I don't want to work with her so I'm quitting my job (that I love).
• I don't want to be rejected by a computer so I'm done applying for jobs on-line.
• I don't want to be bullied by him, so I'm just shutting up and keeping my thoughts to myself.

When we react, we put the irritant in charge of our lives--- making us lose our voice, our dream, our vision, and our way. Life stops up, and we begin the day thinking about the irritant controlling our life instead of what we want to accomplish.

Be the Clam That Produces the Pearl

Why give another person or an irritant the power to control and shape your life? Reframe the situation and take charge. Become the clam that produces the pearl, and turn that irritant into the sand that helps you create your pearl.

Let your irritant, or sand, be what stops and signals you it's time to consciously and deliberately articulate what you want to achieve and how you want to achieve your Pearl.

When thoughts of your irritant permeate your day, pause, and redirect your attention to what you want. Consider how you want to work through the sand, instead of getting stuck in it-- and what you're going to do keep the focus on your internally motivated work or dreams.

Life is Full of Opportunities

Golden opportunities are everywhere for you. No one can trap you or hold you back--only you. Learn to act, not react, to unpleasant situations by choosing to actively move toward what you do want; stop actively avoiding what you don't.

Stop, look and listen for the golden opportunities in your most troubling situations and relationships as well as in your everyday life.

Questions to Ask Yourself

• Who or what is your current irritant?
• How are you letting your irritant get in your way?
• Are you in charge of your daily actions or are you letting your irritant dictate your actions or inactions?
• What is it you dream about achieving that you're letting your irritant stop you from doing?
• If you were to name one golden opportunity available to you in your current situation, what would it be?
• If you had all the time in the world and all the money in the world, what would you do with the rest of your life if you knew you couldn't fail?

'Make peace with your today to improve your future... It may sound odd, but the fastest way to get to a new-and-improved situation is to make peace with your current situation. If you rail against the injustices of your current situation, you hold yourself in alignment with what you do not want, and you cannot then move in the direction of improvement. It defies Law. In every particle of the Universe, there is that which is wanted - and the lack of it.'    Abraham

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Connect with Susan on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Would you like to Host a Lightarted Event?

For more than 25 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before. Contact Susan to schedule life change coaching, weekend retreats, or engaging Lightarted experiences to share with friends.