I'm So Angry I Could Just Spit! How to Regain Your Personal Power After Losing It

'Calmness is the cradle of power.' Josiah Gilbert Holland 1819-1881

What Sets You Off? 

We all have that person or situation that can set us off--and in a flash--our emotional state shifts into high alert mode and we're left with a throbbing headache and stomach tied in knots. Before you know it, you're so angry you could just spit...and all you can do is watch as a perfectly good day nosedives in a downward spiral. 

What is it for you? 

• What or who is it that sets you off? 
• How do you feel--and what do you want to do when you get set off? 
• Who or what set you off in the last 3 days? How did you respond? Were you so mad you could spit?

Spitting Mad

I'm so Mad I could Spit Nails 

I love the visual of being so mad I could spit nails. Although I am basically a gentle person by nature, the instant I'm set off I imagine doing things like spitting nails at the target of my ire Popeye-style.  And as I prefer to be viewed as a nice, reasonable person, when someone sets me off and forces my evil-twin to emerge I am doubly angry.   

'I'm so angry I could just spit' is an old expression used to express the extreme anger you feel when someone sets you off. There are several explanations about where the phrase originated. 'I'm so mad I could spit nails' supposedly originated in times past from carpenters who carried nails in their mouth as they worked.

As the carpenter story goes, if you were 'so mad you could spit nails', you'd have to deal with the problem, but you couldn't talk with a mouth full of nails, so you had to spit them out to yell at someone... then climb down the ladder and get more nails...further irritating you and wasting your time. 

When I'm so angry I could spit nails, I have a difficult time spitting out a proper response--as if my mouth was full of nails. And it takes a while for me to climb down the ladder of my hyped-up emotions before I can get back to the work at hand and being productive. 

We all get set off by something that makes us spitting mad, and we all have strong emotional reactions to it. The question isn't if something is going to set us off, it's how do we move through it with the least angst and best outcome. 

How do you regain your personal power after getting set off and losing it?

Why It Doesn't Pay to React 

The instant you lose your calm, your emotions get the better of you--and you lose the ability to act from a place of personal power. The emotional fog created by the anger quickly robs you of your ability to see and think clearly and drains you of your strength to act reasonably. 

And here's the thing: situations that set us off reduce us--even momentarily--to feeling like a child without power in an adult world.  This is the basis of our getting set off-- people that put us in a position of feeling powerless and out of control.

When we angrily react to the situation we come out swinging with a crude childlike anger that merely demonstrates our feeling out-of-control to others rather than making us appear powerful and strong.

Why It Pays to 'Let Time Work for You'

Whatever it is that sets you off and makes you feel reactive and hot-headed, calm is the salve to regain a cool head and confident manner. 

To regain a sense of calm, you must give yourself time and distance from whatever set you off. 

My mother used to say, you have to 'let time work for you'. You will save a lot of angst by letting time do the calming work for you. It's okay if you're unable to spit out a response when you get set off. Give yourself time to say and do nothing. 

To act out of calmness, not react out of hyped up emotions:

• Step away from the situation
• Postpone your response--say nothing in the moment or in writing
• Do nothing
• Give yourself time to settle

When you are calm and clear thinking, consider your actions. When you are calm you can come from the place of a resilient and strong adult able to see 'all things seemingly good or bad work in your favor'--and take charge of your response.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, 'No one can take your power away unless you give it to them'. Don't let people rob you of your personal power. Learn to choose your responses calmly after you lose it. 

'Whatever the present moment contains, embrace it as if you had chosen it yourself.' Eckhart Tolle

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Three Tips: How to Make Fewer Mistakes and Errors

I now let go pushing myself and others to be perfect
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

To err is human; to develop a strategy to make it less so is divine. Lightarted Sue

Mistakes Happen when You're Tired

'Our human brains, it seems, are designed to be creative, and therefore wired to make mistakes even under the best of conditions. But when we're tired, hungry or upset, it's even easier.'

A few years ago as I was taking my first sip of coffee I opened my email to see a message from my sister with the unsettling headline in caps:

"DADDY IS IN GOD HANDS AT EL CAMINO HOSPITAL"

What? He had just gone into the hospital the night before with a cough, and he was doing just fine. How could this happen? This can't be right. With my heart racing, and my mind now fully awake, I quickly clicked the email to view the entire message.

My sister's message went on to say,

"Daddy is in great spirits and in good hands. They are doing blood cultures, EKG, chest x-ray, and more. Love, Daddy's favorite daughter"

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it
Susan J Meyerott, Silly Artist

A Mere Trifle of a Typo

It took me a moment to settle down, and take in what happened. One trifle of a typo--the omission of a single letter "o"-- had hugely changed the opening message, and my brain had further corrected the message to read my father was in 'God's Hands'. It didn't help that the message was in all CAPS.

I immediately rang my "father's favorite daughter" and asked, "Are you trying to upset me this morning?"

"Why? I just sent out an email to the family about Daddy."

"Yes, I know--that's what I'm calling about."

"Why? -- I said Daddy's in good hands at the hospital."

"No, you didn't. You said he was in God Hands."

There was a big pause before she laughed. "I didn't get home from the hospital until midnight. What can I say--I was tired when I typed it. 

And therein lies the problem, she wrote the message when she was tired, and I received the message when I was barely awake.

Thank you to the artist...whoever you are!
So how may boards are there? 4 or 3?
There's your brain at work!

Your Brain is Creative, and Wired to Make Mistakes

This mini-mistake by my sister, whose only intention was to inform her family in a timely fashion, was one more example of 'to err is human'. It's so easy to do.

Our human brains, it seems, are designed to be creative, and therefore wired to make mistakes even under the best of conditions. But when we're tired, hungry or upset, it's even easier.

My Brain Doesn't Make Errors!

Sure it does. Everyone's brain is wired to make errors...that's the downside of its ability to be creative. Test your brain's wiring now. Stare at the picture a moment--do you see it begin to move? This is a 'still shot', not animated. If you see it moving, it is your brain creating the movement, or error in perception.

Stare at this picture a moment to see it begin to move--
that movement is your brain creating the illusion.

Typo? Typo? I Don't See No Stinkin' Typo!

Because our brains are wired to make mistakes--kind of like fuzzy logic of the brain-- it's often difficult to catch typos. Our brain knows what the word is supposed to be, and it corrects it for us as we read through what we wrote. Let me show you.

Can You Read This? 

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

You can see why it might be difficult for my sister to find one single 'o' omitted from 'good' when she's tired, and why it was easy for me to read God's Hands when presented with God Hands.

Teeny-Tiny Mistakes with Huge Consequences

While the omission of one 'o' in my sister's message created a bit of angst for me, it didn't have the type of longer lasting consequences created by a misplaced decimal point in a medication dose or on a mortgage or tax payment.

In the medical community, preventing medication errors is a big deal. It's especially important for medical professionals to develop and implement error prevention strategies to offset the brain's natural tendency towards making mistakes.

A ten-fold medication error can be made when a dosage is written with a zero that follows a decimal point. When 1 mg dose is written as 1.0 mg, the reader can fail to see the decimal point and interpret it as 10 mg. Likewise, if a physician quickly writes 10 mg for 1.0 mg, omitting the teeny-tiny decimal point you have the same ten-fold medication error.

When I was in college, I came down with a very painful sinus infection while visiting a friend in Arizona. His doctor saw me and wrote me a prescription for 10 pills of 100 mg of of a common antibiotic to take to the pharmacy. Unfortunately, when the pharmacist handed me a bottle with 100 pills instead of ten, I knew there was a mistake. The physician had written the prescription incorrectly, transposing the numbers to be 100 pills of 10 mg. I had to wait hours until the pharmacist reached the physician to correct the prescription.

But the medical community isn't the only place where little errors can have big consequences. One year, I had a year-long battle with the IRS due to an inputting error by a clerk. I submitted a check for $2,770.00 that was incorrectly logged into the system for $277.00. Again, one teeny-tiny decimal point put in the wrong place created a problem that took hundreds of hours to undo.

I am gentle and forgiving of myself
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

I Make All My Mistakes Very Carefully...and You Do Too!

No one sets out to make mistakes. Usually we work very hard to get it right--especially when it's important to do so. But with our brains wired to make errors, we need to accept it's virtually impossible to do everything perfectly on our own. 

I make all my mistakes very carefully--and you do too. The harder we try, the more some little detail eludes us. That's why I need to implement strategies to prevent costly mistakes that enlists the help of others--and you do too! 


 3 Simple Ways to Reduce Errors 

Anywhere you need to get it right---when cooking, building houses, paying your taxes or mortgage, dispensing medications, correcting computer bugs, or just sending informative emails to your family--you will benefit from applying a few simple techniques.

1. When you're doing your best to get it right, accept your brain is wired to make mistakes and develop a strategy for making it less so--beginning with recognizing when your tired, hungry or upset you're more likely to make mistakes. Do your best to put down important decisions or actions until you eat, sleep and calm yourself.


2. If you check your own work, take time out between doing that calculation or writing that email and when you recheck it for accuracy. Why?

You are more likely to find your own errors when you put time between rechecks.

My mother used to say 'make time work for you'. Here, you make time work for you by giving your brain a rest from concentrating on getting it right. Engage in other activities--take a walk, do the dishes, read a book---anything unrelated to the task you're trying to get right. Then with a relaxed, calm mind recheck your work for accuracy. You'll see with fresh eyes.

3. When it's critical you get it right--especially in high risk areas--such as dealing with high alert medications or legal documents-- implement double checks. Double checks means engaging the help of others to double check with you. Why? 

Your brain sees what it expects to see.

So when you write that email and attempt to quickly check it for mistakes before hitting the send button, your brain sees what it expects to see making it difficult to find your own mistakes. This is true for other things like calculations and measurements too.

If you measure lumber to the specifications in the building instructions, before cutting, have your partner measure it again and call out the results to you as you check it against the written specifications. Measure twice, cut once---and double check it with the help of others.

Or to implement double checks for nursing, have one nurse read what's on the medication package or dose, while the other nurse checks it against the order, then reverse the process.

Nobody's perfect. We are going to make mistakes.  By accepting that your wonderfully creative mind is wired to make mistakes you can choose to act in ways that make it less so.

I am happiest when I am calm and centered....and I make fewer mistakes!
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Feeling Stuck? Got Problems? Embrace Your Struggles and Use to Grow

All things seemingly good or bad work in my favor.
Susan J Meyerott, affirmation artist

For every evil under the sun,

There is a remedy or there is none.

If there be one, try to find it;

If there be none, never mind it.

Old Nursery Rhyme

Got Problems? Feeling Stuck? Seek Solutions or Let it Go

• What's got your attention right now? 
• What little niggling problem are you facing? 
• What's worrying you?

Life presents us with problems to solve, not problems to keep us stuck. But sometimes the way we address challenges thrown at us we take it way too personal--as if life was 'out to get us'--or we have been singled out for this special hell.

Truth be told, we're all capable of getting mired in feeling sorry for ourselves and whining about our 'predicament' when we initially confront new life issues. We ask 'why me?' or sit in a sad stupor thinking about the unfairness of it all. 

But if we are to get through life with any sense of enjoyment we must embrace our struggles and use them to grow. Or as the old nursery rhyme says if there is a remedy try to find it; but if there is none never mind it.

My life and struggles are meaningful and rewarding
Susan J Meyerott, affirmation artist

Define 'The Evil', Seek Solutions, Take Action, Move On

So when you're done feeling stuck and ready to move on, step past your problems into seeking solutions. Embrace your challenges and choose to see all things seemingly good or bad work in your favor.

What is your current challenge?

• Define the problem. Collect enough information to define the problem. Where does it hurt? What's bothering me?
• Seek Solutions
• Take Actions What can I do? How do I take action?What exercises can I do? Who can I talk to? What can I look up?
• Move on if there are no solutions. Accept what is and learn 'to play a poor hand well'.

I let go of obsessing about things I can't change
Susan J Meyerott, affirmation artist

'Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.'  Robert Louis Stevenson

'What I say is patience, and shuffle the cards.' Miguel de Cervantes

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

The Secret to Improving Your Memory

I open myself to the wisdom within
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

What's the Secret to Improving Your Memory?

'Your brain remembers meaning, not facts. Want to remember something? Give it more meaning.'

You hold the key to remembering everything you want to remember. 

'In a nutshell, the more meaning you give your life, experiences, or studies, the more you'll remember.'

Create Better Memories Through Creating Better Stories

Years ago I took an epic bicycle trip down the West Coast from Vancouver Island, Canada to Southern California with four fellow bicyclists. 

Cycling through the towns and camping along the coast imprinted details on my brain that I easily recall 35 years later whenever I visit any of the coastal areas traveled. 

Why is that? We're back to the role meaning plays in creating better recall. My total immersion experience created deeper meaning for me and my body. The more we experience life through what we see, hear, feel, taste and touch the more we remember. 

Today the signature smells and sights of the beaches immediately ignite my memories with great detail--as the memories were locked in by my full body experience with all my senses engaged to create meaningful experiences.

I can't hear Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D Major without  thinking of this grand trip. The first night we arrived back home I heard this elegant piece of music for the first time as we all crashed on the floor of a darkened room--providing me an epic ending to an epic trip.

What's the so what of my story for you? The more actively you step in to experience your life, the better your memory.

Create Better Recall by Turning Meaningless Pieces of Data into Stories

But what if you are trying to memorize facts for a test? 

Even if you are just trying to memorize facts for a test--if you want to recall more facts weave them into stories to give them more meaning. 

Studies have shown when you turn meaningless gibber into real words your recall of the words improves; and when you use the real words in a sentence your memory is even better. But your best recall of facts will result from you creating meaningful context for those facts by weaving stories.

Nonsense vs Real Words  We have an easier time memorizing and recalling real words with meaning--boy, girl, love--than we do nonsense words--fra, ciz, gra. 

Words in a Sentence If you take real words and weave them into a sentence, you give them more meaning and remember more. 

Facts in a Story  The stories we weave are what we remember easily. When you turn meaningless pieces of information into whole stories  (real or made up) you'll remember more 'facts'.

Need Proof? Take the One Minute Test

THE SHAPE OF YOUR MEMORY

Test yourself: Study the chart below for one minute, then test your recall by writing down as many of the letters with its associated shapes

A simple test to show your brain remembers meaning, not facts

This is a very easy way to show you how easy it is to remember something if it has meaning.

1. Take one minute to to memorize the shapes associated with letters 'a' through 'i'. 

2. Give yourself one minute to test your recall by recording as many of the letters with it's associated shape you remember without looking. (no cheating!)

3. Check your answers against the chart above.

4. Click on  How to remember 100% to see what happens when you add meaning.

Want More Good Memories?

Get out and live your life to the fullest. Seek more meaningful experiences.

You'll deepen the meaning of your stories when you give up being an 'arm chair expert' observing life and become an active participant in your life instead (i.e. one who carries out active experiments to test out and experience life). 

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Lao Tzu: A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step

I have the strength to understand and the eyes to see
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. The Buddha

Starting Over in Life

If you've been struggling to jump-start your life over after dealing with a rough patch, follow these 3 time-tested keys to regain your momentum.

I let go of bitterness and renew my trusting heart
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

 Take the First Step 

Not much has changed in the thousands of years humans have been facing and recovering from the hardships of life. As Lao Tzu stated so long ago, 'a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step'. 

We fuel our inner strength and sense of resiliency by taking action. But sometimes when faced with 'a journey of a thousand miles' we can be overwhelmed with the daunting task of where to begin. What is the first step?

The good news is any first step will do. Your hope, resiliency, and personal strength will grow stronger with every step you take. It doesn't matter what the first step is. As you experience yourself being pro-active and physically taking action, your ability to cope and hope will improve. So start with a single step--any step-- and then another.

I trust like a river flowing
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

Take Small Steps

An old Chinese Proverb says, 'The man who moved a mountain is the one who started taking away the small stones'. When you're in total overwhelm mode, start 'taking away the small stones'--one small step, then another. 

I now transform what no longer works
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

Build a Nest in the Eye of the Storm

Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, traveled on her life adventure, with change and uncertainty as her constant companions. Her grandmother, a major influence in Margaret's life, sent her on her journey with the sage advice to 'Always build a nest in the eye of the storm'.

This grandmotherly wisdom has had a strong influence in my own life. Whenever major life events cause upheaval in my life, my mind returns to this saying, and I think how important it is to apply to get things moving and balanced again. 

One thing I know--when you're in the middle of a crisis, the hardest thing to do is to take care of yourself. You can forget to nourish your body, push your body to the limits with lack of sleep, and remain in a constant state of emotional overload. But if you focus on 'building a nest in the eye of the storm', you will begin to create a cushion to rest and a space for thinking.

What does it mean to build a nest in the eye of the storm? When life is swirling around you like a hurricane--you find a way to create a home-base of comfort--or nest--from which you can rebuild your daily existence.

Start with the basics to nourish your body and rest your nerves. Your body likes a regular rhythm that includes regular heart beats, breaths, sleep patterns, eating times, moving times, and rest time. 

• Start by getting your natural rhythms back in place.
• Eat regular, well-balanced meals that nourish you.
• Pace yourself--put a time limit on dealing with your difficulties--and take regular rest breaks.
• Go to bed early.
• Choose to have daily contact with uplifting, supportive people who can listen and encourage you in your strength.
• If you're caring for others, take care of yourself first, so you have the strength and endurance to continue to help others.

 

I am resilient in the face of setbacks
Susan J Meyerott, Affirmation Artist

Create Safety and Security

We all do our best thinking and acting when we do it from a place of feeling safe and secure. So create your nest--no matter what storm is brewing. It may not be easy, but it is essential.

Life is a cycle, always in motion; if good times have moved on, so will times of trouble! Indian Proverb

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

How to Remember 100%

The Key to Improving Your Memory....

Give Facts....

How easy is it for you to recall the shapes associated with its letter
when it's presented as seemingly unrelated data?

....More Meaning

How easy is it for you to recall the shapes associated with the letters
when it's presented in a form that has meaning?

What's the Secret to Improving Your Memory?

'Your brain remembers meaning, not facts. Want to remember something? Give it more meaning.'

You hold the key to remembering everything you want to remember. 

'In a nutshell, the more meaning you give your life, experiences, or studies, the more you'll remember.'

Click on http://lightartedliving.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-secret-to-improving-your-memory.html  to view associated post 'The Secret to Improving Your Memory'.

Sign Up for Free E-mail updates

For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.

If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Burned Out? Lose the Guilt and Take a Do-Nothing Day

Sit, rest, work
Susan J Meyerott, artist

'All know the way, but few actually walk it.'  Bodhidharma

Sit, Rest, Work

Sit, rest, work--what a simple, harmonious '3-legged stool' for balanced living. This is truly the answer to how to live a calm, thoughtful, composed life instead of one that always puts you in the overwhelmed mode. 

Yet when you think about it, how likely are you to balance your days in such a way that you are 'never weary' and 'living joyfully, without desire'? How often do you make yourself feel weary to the bone through driving yourself to accomplish at a non-stop, frenetic pace? 

Consider how you balanced your life in just the last three days:

• Did you have a balance of Sit, Rest, Work or an imbalance of work, work, work? 
• Did your life imbalance  leave you feeling weary, guilt-ridden, and wishing for a day off?

Balance Your Life with the 'Sit and Do Nothing' Exercise

The only way to get the most out of your life and the best out of yourself is to regularly give yourself time to recoup your energy through the 'sit and do nothing' exercise. 

Lose the guilt. Lose the expectations. Be unproductive. Give yourself time to breathe and relax instead. Strive to do nothing. Let your mind wander.

Begin with five minutes just to get you started--then work up to more 'do-nothing' time. 

In order to get stronger and more fit, your brain and your body need times of rest. It is during the rest periods your body and mind heal and grow stronger. If you never give yourself down time, your body and mind break down from overuse. So stop holding on to the belief you will accomplish more by keeping yourself in a constant state of stress. The path to your best self is paved with good doses of sitting and relaxing mixed in with the work.

So what are you waiting for? Go waste your time and enjoy doing nothing!

'Before complaining that you are a slave to another, be sure that you are not a slave to self. Look within: You will find there, perchance, slavish thoughts, slavish desires, and in your daily life and conduct slavish habits. Conquer these; cease to be a slave to self, and no man will have the power to enslave you.' James Allen

Sit, rest, work heart
Susan J Meyerott, artist

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For more than 30 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes changing easier than ever before.


If you're interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the Lightarted Living mailing list. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.