Lightarted Living: Upbeat People: What Sets them Apart?

Lightarted Living: Upbeat People: What Sets them Apart?: What Sets Upbeat People Apart? Face it--some days you wake up ready to enthusiastically dive into the day, while other days you wa...

Lightarted Living: Upbeat People: What Sets them Apart?

Lightarted Living: Upbeat People: What Sets them Apart?: What Sets Upbeat People Apart? Face it--some days you wake up ready to enthusiastically dive into the day, while other days you wa...

Lightarted Living: Life Suck? Deal with it!

Lightarted Living: Life Suck? Deal with it!: 'If you're going through hell...just keep going.'  Winston Churchill Sometimes Life Sucks. It's How You Dea...

Lightarted Living: Life Suck? Deal with it!

Lightarted Living: Life Suck? Deal with it!: 'If you're going through hell...just keep going.'  Winston Churchill Sometimes Life Sucks. It's How You Dea...

Lightarted Living: All Stressed-out and No One to Choke?

Lightarted Living: All Stressed-out and No One to Choke?: 'A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.' Chinese Proverb How are you today? '...

Lightarted Living: All Stressed-out and No One to Choke?

Lightarted Living: All Stressed-out and No One to Choke?: 'A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.' Chinese Proverb How are you today? '...

Lightarted Living: Anxious about Being Anxious? Turning the Volume Do...

Lightarted Living: Anxious about Being Anxious? Turning the Volume Do...: Do You: ❓ Sometimes get overwhelmed by anxiety?  ❓ Worry about being worried? ❓ Wind yourself up feeling anxious about being anxious...

Anxious about Being Anxious? Turning the Volume Down on High Anxiety

Do You:

❓ Sometimes get overwhelmed by anxiety? 
❓ Worry about being worried?
❓ Wind yourself up feeling anxious about being anxious, or get stressed about being stressed?  

Stop it. There's nothing wrong with you experiencing anxiety or stress. While it's uncomfortable when anxiety takes up residence in your life, the solution is to turn the volume down, not up. Hyping yourself up by becoming anxious about being anxious does you no good.

Turning the Volume Down on Garden-Variety Anxiety 

Stress and anxiety are normal--and even helpful physiological signals--that help us more effectively deal with the challenges of life.  Turning the volume down on feeling anxious begins with accepting the uncomfortable feelings as a normal reaction to life.

Used properly stress and anxiety focus our attention on getting busy meeting the current challenges that are creating the anxiety. 

Used improperly--at the first whiff of anxiousness--we catastrophize the situation, hyperventilate, and blow up our ability to function effectively.

All is Well

Learn to turn your attention away from 'feeling anxious about being anxious' by reframing how you interpret those feelings. 

Change how you talk about anxiety. Try naming your creeping anxiousness as 'everyday garden-variety' anxiety instead of 'something's terribly wrong with me' anxiety. Choose to be comfortable being uncomfortable, and change your viewpoint so you see anxiety is serving a useful purpose--as it's intended.   

If you let it, anxiety can serve as a penetrating signal for you to act and move your life forward instead of turning you into a nervous wreck. The key is to respond to the annoying signal with appropriate action.

Let Anxiety Work in your Favor

None of us likes feeling anxious but we can learn to befriend the feelings. Yes, free floating anxiety is a bit like someone continually poking you with a hot poker. After a while it gets on your nerves and all you want to do is get away from it and lash out at someone. 

But just like the physiological feedback you'd get from touching a hot stove, anxious feelings show you what you want to move away from as quickly as possible at the same time it prods you to step into actions that move you towards what you want quicker. 

Become a Master at Quieting Anxiety

It doesn't matter how anxious you are. What matters is your ability to deal with anxiety. 

Never underestimate your ability to master the art of dealing with anxiety through consciously choosing to change your outlook, logical reasoning or circumstances to turn the volume down.

Sometimes your life circumstances demand great persistence to overcome road blocks to your goals turning your anxiety up. But every time you persist and overcome those challenges you strengthen your mastery of life--showing yourself you have all the ingredients to successfully handle life and quiet anxiety. 

  As Anna Freud noted:

"It is not the presence or absence, the quality, or even the quantity of anxiety which allows predictions as to future mental health or illness; what is significant in this respect is only the ability to deal with anxiety."    Anna Freud, 1965

In her new book 'Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls', Lisa Damour, Ph.D. sheds more light on who gets through the stressful experiences better:

"The children whose outlook for mental health is better are those who cope with the same danger situations actively by way of resources such as intellectual understanding, logical reasoning, changing of external circumstances...by mastery instead of retreat."

Sometimes Life is a High-Wire Act 

Sometimes life can feel like a high-wire act, with one wrong move and it all comes tumbling down. But to train for a high-wire act you focus on developing the skills and mastering the moves to keep yourself up and moving forward rather than focusing on the fear and self-doubt created by looking at the ground. 

Cope with anxiety-producing situations through mastery instead of retreat, by use of intellectual understanding, logical reasoning and changing of external circumstances.

Stop 'awfulizing' your situation. Choose a life strategy for dealing with anxiety-producing situations head on.  And keep on keeping on. 

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.
                                                            

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lightarted Living: Getting Past Self-Doubt

Lightarted Living: Getting Past Self-Doubt: Being Koi Sometimes it's hard work putting yourself out in the world. Every time you're faced with a moment of transition i...

Getting Past Self-Doubt

Being Koi

Sometimes it's hard work putting yourself out in the world. Every time you're faced with a moment of transition in the workplace or on the home front, self-doubt and self-consciousness can float to the surface making you feel shy about putting yourself back out there. So how do you nudge yourself out of it?

Show up 

When you feel momentarily timid, take a tip from Koi and simply show up.  Stop being coy and hiding under a rock or in the weeds.  Be seen. Showing up is 80% of success.

Don't be coy, be KOI.

Who doesn't love sitting next to a Koi pond watching Koi gracefully move through the water. They aren't self-conscious about swimming and they don't overthink every move. They do what they were born to do: swim.

Accept you were born to swim with ease in big ponds and small. You'll naturally stand out when you show up and show yourself to be a willing and competent swimmer. Hiding behind a rock or in the weeds will do you no good. Stop overthinking and focus on swimming instead.

Be yourself and proudly swim into the thick of things. You are spectacular just as you are. 

If you want to stand out even without making a splash, Be Koi, not coy. 

We see ourselves for what we aren't; others see us for who we are.

 All Things Come to She who Baits

"Fishing is the pursuit of the elusive but attainable~a perpetual series of occasions for hope."    John Buchan 

Life can be thought of as a life-long fishing expedition in which we are 'in pursuit of the elusive but attainable~a perpetual series of occasions for hope'. This is an especially useful metaphor for dealing with work and landing the positions or clients you desire. 

As long as we keep sticking our pole in the water, we maintain hope we'll land the elusive but attainable fish we're after. And if we keep baiting the hook, eventually we'll land that fish. 

Notice, fish don't care how great a fisherman or woman you are. They care about the bait. This is true no matter the type of fish you're after--even clients or employers.

In moments when self-doubt arises, take the focus off you--the person--and put it on the bait for the fish you want to land. 

What is the alluring skill, talent or product the fish you want is attracted to?  What is the bait needed to land that particular fish? How can you bait that hook then sit back and wait?

I've always loved the Charlie Tuna commercial showing Charlie as a fish who prided himself as being a Tuna with 'good (artistic) taste' and the very clever tag-line, 'Sorry, Charlie; people want tuna that tastes good not tuna with good taste.' 

Like Charlie the Tuna, we need to stop focusing on ourselves and keep our eyes on how to fill a need--the bait--an employer or client wants. 

Bait and Switch

Sure, it matters how good a fisher you are when it's time to reel in the fish. But first you have to attract the fish and get it to bite--and that means letting the self-doubt go.

By doing a 'switch and bait'--switching from a self-conscious focus on yourself to a focus on the bait to attract the big fish--you open up oceans of possibilities for you to pursue without giving yourself another thought. 

Swimming in Possibilities

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

                                                            

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.

Lightarted Living: The Ageless Wisdom of John Adams (Stumbled upon by...

Lightarted Living: The Ageless Wisdom of John Adams (Stumbled upon by...: Vincent's a Real Cool Cat While seeking a place for morning meditation Vincent finds a most harmonious and peaceful perch  ...

Lightarted Living: The Ageless Wisdom of John Adams (Stumbled upon by...

Lightarted Living: The Ageless Wisdom of John Adams (Stumbled upon by...: Vincent's a Real Cool Cat While seeking a place for morning meditation Vincent finds a most harmonious and peaceful perch  ...