'Our actions shift perspectives, whether it be your own or others.'
John Edwards
Stop the World I Want to Get Off!
You can’t do life without facing your share of overwhelming and stressful times. Perhaps you’re struggling with a new bout of upheaval now.
Sometimes when hit with an onslaught of too
many changes—both good and bad—we’re knocked for a loop and we find it hard to
catch our breath.
Change—whether good or
bad—is stressful. Too many life events can stack up to create a barrage of
details that overwhelm us.
Whether you're getting married or getting divorced;
starting a new job, getting a promotion, or losing your job and looking for
work; house hunting or moving into a new home; dealing with an ongoing
chronic illness or death in the family; starting a family or dealing with
family issues--all changes add to your stress.
Change IS Life~Life IS Change
When we face times of rapid
change we must figure out how to make the most of it while finding our way to balance and calm ourselves or we’ll remain quivering in a puddle of helplessness.
Like you, when I deal with too many changes at
once, the ensuing anxiety and emotional fog tends to kick common sense and a
clear vision for what I need to do to regain my balance and energy right out of
my consciousness.
Sometimes it takes me a month to see my way through the fog--but here is what I always come back to: Three (oh-so-obvious-in hindsight) actions that help me regain my balance and put me back on the road to health.
Calm Yourself through Conscious
Breathing
Just Breathe. Conscious Breathing is the first step to pulling yourself out of the anxiety and stress.
When our heart rate gets above 100 beats/minute in a non-exercise state our brains get fuzzy. That is the emotional fog we experience due to our body's response to the stress.
Granted, when you're in a highly stressed state it can be amazingly difficult to begin conscious breathing. Sometimes you just have to keep practicing it--all the while 'acting as if' you believe it will calm you down. It will--just do it.
Just Breathe. Conscious Breathing is the first step to pulling yourself out of the anxiety and stress.
When our heart rate gets above 100 beats/minute in a non-exercise state our brains get fuzzy. That is the emotional fog we experience due to our body's response to the stress.
Granted, when you're in a highly stressed state it can be amazingly difficult to begin conscious breathing. Sometimes you just have to keep practicing it--all the while 'acting as if' you believe it will calm you down. It will--just do it.
When you retire for the night, practice focusing on your breathing to calm your racing heart.
Practice slowly and consciously breathing in and out--thinking 'I breathe in uplifting into my heart' and I breathe out calmness into my gut'.
Identify Your Stressors
As major life events pile up sending me into overwhelm mode I know I need to get a handle on what I’m dealing with. Over the years the Holmes-Rahe Life Change Index has been my go-to-guide to help me identify what’s going on. I need that help because 'of course I believe I handle all stress and nothing's wrong'.....
The Holmes-Rahe Life Change Index is a straightforward inventory of life events that assigns 'life change units' for the events on a scale of 1-100 for how relatively stressful an event is. It includes both 'good' and 'bad' changes, with 'death of a spouse' worth 100 units and getting married worth 50 units-i.e. getting married is 1/2 as stressful as death of a spouse.
While the life change inventory does not cover all changes we might experience, it provides a good indication of the level of stress and the resultant risk for changes in our health status in the year ahead.
If you've been through significant changes this year, take a moment to assess your score on the Life Change Index, then check out the ultimate key to keeping yourself healthy despite the stress.
How to Use the Homes-Rahe Life Change Index
Using the index below, identify changes you've experienced in the last year and add up the total life change units to see what risk category you're in for experiencing health problems in the next year.
Holmes-Rahe Life Change Index
As major life events pile up sending me into overwhelm mode I know I need to get a handle on what I’m dealing with. Over the years the Holmes-Rahe Life Change Index has been my go-to-guide to help me identify what’s going on. I need that help because 'of course I believe I handle all stress and nothing's wrong'.....
The Holmes-Rahe Life Change Index is a straightforward inventory of life events that assigns 'life change units' for the events on a scale of 1-100 for how relatively stressful an event is. It includes both 'good' and 'bad' changes, with 'death of a spouse' worth 100 units and getting married worth 50 units-i.e. getting married is 1/2 as stressful as death of a spouse.
While the life change inventory does not cover all changes we might experience, it provides a good indication of the level of stress and the resultant risk for changes in our health status in the year ahead.
If you've been through significant changes this year, take a moment to assess your score on the Life Change Index, then check out the ultimate key to keeping yourself healthy despite the stress.
How to Use the Homes-Rahe Life Change Index
Using the index below, identify changes you've experienced in the last year and add up the total life change units to see what risk category you're in for experiencing health problems in the next year.
Holmes-Rahe Life Change Index
Life event
|
Life change units
|
Death
of a spouse
|
100
|
Divorce
|
73
|
Marital
separation
|
65
|
Imprisonment
|
63
|
Death
of a close family member
|
63
|
Personal
injury or illness
|
53
|
Marriage
|
50
|
Dismissal
from work
|
47
|
Marital
reconciliation
|
45
|
Retirement
|
45
|
Change
in health of family member
|
44
|
Pregnancy
|
40
|
Sexual
difficulties
|
39
|
Gain
a new family member
|
39
|
Business
readjustment
|
39
|
Change
in financial state
|
38
|
Death
of a close friend
|
37
|
Change
to different line of work
|
36
|
Change
in frequency of arguments
|
35
|
Major
mortgage
|
32
|
Foreclosure
of mortgage or loan
|
30
|
Change
in responsibilities at work
|
29
|
Child
leaving home
|
29
|
Trouble
with in-laws
|
29
|
Outstanding
personal achievement
|
28
|
Spouse
starts or stops work
|
26
|
Beginning
or end school
|
26
|
Change
in living conditions
|
25
|
Revision
of personal habits
|
24
|
Trouble
with boss
|
23
|
Change
in working hours or conditions
|
20
|
Change
in residence
|
20
|
Change
in schools
|
20
|
Change
in recreation
|
19
|
Change
in church activities
|
19
|
Change
in social activities
|
18
|
Minor
mortgage or loan
|
17
|
Change
in sleeping habits
|
16
|
Change
in number of family reunions
|
15
|
Change
in eating habits
|
15
|
Vacation
|
13
|
Christmas
|
12
|
Minor
violation of law
|
11
|
Holmes-Rahe Life
Change Index and Your Health
Score of 300+ At high risk of major illness--80% chance.
Score of 150-299 Risk of illness is moderate--50% chance.
Score <150 Only a slight risk of illness--25%.
Score of 150-299 Risk of illness is moderate--50% chance.
Score <150 Only a slight risk of illness--25%.
Pay Attention!
What category of risk
are you in for developing health issues in the next year? What's your
score?
Me? I often score well over 300 life change units putting me in the category associated with an 80% chance of getting sick with a major illness in the next year.
So does that mean those of us who score over 300 are destined to get sick with a major illness in the next year? Or if you scored 150-299 that you are part of the 50% who will get sick?
No! What it means is we must pay attention to what we do now and in the next year if we want to be part of the other 20% or 50% who stay healthy despite the onslaught of changes.
The Question to Ask: What Do the 20% Do Differently?
While 80% of the people in high risk group got a major illness in the next year--what about the 20% who didn't? What did the 20% do differently that helped them avoid getting sick in response to too much change?
The Key~Let Go of Things that Don't Matter
to You; Take Charge of Things that Do
The problem with experiencing too many changes at once is it makes us feel like everything is spinning out-of-control.
This out-of-control feeling can lead us towards two ineffective extremes--giving in to a feeling of helplessness in which we're powerless to affect change; or taking on a hyper-vigilant stance in which we frantically attempt to maintain control over every aspect of life.
Both extremes--a sense of under-control or over-control--are associated with poor health.
Good health--despite high stress and high change--is associated with having an optimal sense of control over your life. What does this mean?
The problem with experiencing too many changes at once is it makes us feel like everything is spinning out-of-control.
This out-of-control feeling can lead us towards two ineffective extremes--giving in to a feeling of helplessness in which we're powerless to affect change; or taking on a hyper-vigilant stance in which we frantically attempt to maintain control over every aspect of life.
Both extremes--a sense of under-control or over-control--are associated with poor health.
Good health--despite high stress and high change--is associated with having an optimal sense of control over your life. What does this mean?
People who stay healthy despite experiencing a lack of control in their lives share one perspective in common: They feel they have control over the things that matter to them. They don't try to control things beyond their control (i.e. death) and they don't try to control things that don't matter to them (they choose their battles).
As John Edwards says, "Our actions shift perspectives, whether it be your own or others." Take the actions that will shift your perspective and put your life back in balance after everything seemingly falls apart.
When Life throws you too many changes:
💓Acknowledge the changes.
💙Sit quietly, release judgment and lower expectations.
💚When in doubt, do nothing.
💛Avoid making major life changes for the next year.
Tomorrow is another day. Stop thinking and go to sleep. Wake knowing each moment of your life is new, fresh and vital, and start anew.
Find a way to feel like you have control over the things that matter to you. Focus on what matters most to you, and take action on the things that matter.
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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.
