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Douglas Adams
On the Brink of Transition?
Where are you at this very moment in your life? What are you trying to accomplish? Where are you starting over? What's making you anxious?
💓 Are you looking for a suitable mate or breaking
up with someone?
💙 Are you thinking of having a family or trying
to get back into the workforce after having a baby?
💚 Are you searching for a new job, thinking of quitting
your current job, or trying to break into a new field of work?
💛 Did you finish college and now face
transitioning into adulthood and a new life and career?
💜 Are you trying to decide when to retire or how
to reinvent your life?
💓Are you buying a car, a home, or working on a
home improvement project?
Maslow's Hierarchy of
Needs
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Why You Feel Anxious and Tense
No matter how good or bad you perceive a change to be, whenever you start over in some area of life--according to Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs--you're left feeling anxious and tense as you nose-dive from being your most confident, best self ('self-actualized') to someone who is now concerned with basic safety needs.
"The most fundamental and basic four layers of the hierarchy of needs contain what Maslow called 'deficiency needs': esteem, friendship and love, security, and physical needs. If these 'deficiency needs' are not met the individual will feel anxious and tense." Source: Wikipedia
It doesn't matter how
big or small a life-changing event is that's forcing you to stop what you're currently
doing to start over. Once you've moved into that uncomfortable place of feeling
unsafe and insecure you have to deal with it before you can move on.
And like it or not--before we're able to move on to the new with ease and joy--we must first get unstuck from feeling mired in the fear of the unknown.
Wake Up Calls (things that go bump in the night)
I hate it when something
stresses me out and puts me on high alert creating 'things that go bump in the
night' in my head and body. The anxious feeling in
the pit of my stomach wakes me and robs me of a good night sleep.
I shoot awake, heart pounding, and begin fretting about what's behind the anxiety--all the while trying to deny anything's wrong.
But the body knows better than the mind. At the very core of my anxiety is something is making me feel unsafe. This is my wake up call from the body reminding me I need to acknowledge what's bothering me and take action on it to calm my internal alarm system.
Times of transitions or change are unsettling and stressful for everyone. The fear of the unknown 'downshifts' us into our very primitive, but street-smart, reptilian brain putting us on high alert for 'fight or flight'--making it difficult to be our best problem-solving self.
Stress: A perceived threat, unpredictability, a feeling of loss of control, hopelessness, helplessness.
The Get Started Cycle
Discovering the Secrets to Starting Over
The secret to starting
over after getting stuck is to examine what your stress is so you can offset the
things keeping you stuck--then move into action.
What to do when stress is:
A Perceived Threat 👉 Take steps to identify and deal with that threat;
Unpredictability 👉 Take steps to make the unpredictable predictable;
A Feeling of Loss of Control, Helplessness and
Hopelessness 👉 Take
action.
Stress is dis-empowering--leaving you quivering in inaction. When
you feel helpless or hopeless to control a situation that feeling is further
fueled by inaction. This creates a 'get stuck and stay stuck' cycle in which
you fail to think about, act on or evaluate your situation. The way out is through action.
Taking action--no matter how small--is empowering. Every time you take a step it empowers you to take another. Every step you take shows you have options and you are not helpless.
Start using the 'get started' cycle. To start over or create new beginnings methodically move through the 'get started' cycle to think and plan, take action, and evaluate your actions.
Show yourself you have options through taking action and evaluating the results of your actions, and then base your next steps on what you learned.
Never stop taking action. The more pro-active you are, the more predictable the unpredictable becomes.
It is only after you name 'it' and take action that your anxiety will lessen.
You don't have to like facing what is bothering you but until you name it and
face it you'll keep getting wake up calls from your body.
'Make peace with your today to improve your future... It may sound odd, but the fastest way to get to a new-and-improved situation is to make peace with your current situation. If you rail against the injustices of your current situation, you hold yourself in alignment with what you do not want, and you cannot then move in the direction of improvement. It defies Law. In every particle of the Universe, there is that which is wanted - and the lack of it.'
Abraham
Even when bad things happen, trust yourself to get through the troubled time. Know that all things seemingly good or bad ultimately work in your favor. Sometimes it is the seemingly bad things that drive you to do really great things with your life.
Peter Pan
'You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where to go.'
Dr Seuss
For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.
