Gentleness Can Accomplish what Force Cannot

 

Who or what has you twitter-patted?

What has your stomach tied up in knots,

making you wonder how to respond or react?

If Push, Then Pull; If Pull, Then Push

Although I am not a martial arts expert, years ago I learned about a technique used in martial arts that allows a weaker person to overpower a stronger opponent. I've used the concept in my daily interactions ever since. 

The technique, "If push, then pull; If pull, then push" teaches us to use our opponent's own strength to overcome them by moving the energy in the direction they are going. 

If you are being pushed away, pull the energy in that direction. For example, if your partner or child says "I need space" you move your energy away from them. Go spend time with other people and doing other things and ignore them. 

If push, then pull.

If you have a dog that jumps up on you, when they jump up, pull their paws into you before letting go. 

If push, then pull.

If someone says stop talking about me, stop. Put your attention elsewhere. Crickets.

If push, then pull.

If you're being pulled into someone else's drama or bad idea, find a way to pull it past you. 

On one occasion, while working at UCLA providing monthly workshops to participants in a live-on health and wellness center, I had another presenter insist I should co-lead a workshop with a woman who was a truly horrible presenter. This was a very bad idea. This woman self-righteously pushed the idea hard to me, saying this other professional had a right to co-lead this workshop.  

Rather than giving her anything to push against, I took the conversation in the direction she was pushing, and said she should definitely team up with the other woman to present the workshop. I got myself out of the middle and let this woman experience teaming up with this woman for herself.  That was the end of the conversation.

If push, then pull. If pull, then push.

Find ways to use this technique in your daily life in both big and small situations. Learn to gentle your life, while getting yourself out of the middle of drama.