The Courage to Risk: How Do I Know if It's Worth the Risk?

'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.' 

Mark Twain

Explore. Dream. Discover.

The Challenge: Discover the Best Way to Get the Most Out of Life

Each of us is challenged to discover the best way to get the most out of life. As Twain says, playing it safe only leads to a disappointing life.

To achieve a satisfying and happy life you must risk being hurt, wrong, scared, disappointed, rejected, ridiculed, and silly. You must throw off the things keeping you tied to your safe harbor and venture into the vast ocean of possibilities.

What Matters to You?

💓 Putting yourself out there and going after what you want is a risk. The courage to risk comes from discovering what matters to you. 

Begin by defining what you want out of life at this juncture so you can better guide your choices and daily actions. 

💓 What you care about matters--it is the wind in your sails propelling you forward into a satisfying life adventure.

Discover what matters to you so you can:

💙 Concentrate your limited time and energy on those things that count.

💚 Plan your life so you feel more control over the things that matter to you.

💛 Create a sense of urgency for the things that are most important to you.

Explore ~ Dream ~ Discover

Helen Keller said, "Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing." 

The secret to a happy life is to have the courage to continuously explore what matters to you and cast off the things keeping you tied to your safe harbor. 

Stop letting fear keep you tethered.

Navigating a Course of Action

💓 What would you do today if you knew you couldn't fail? Take a step.

💓 What do you wish someone would ask you to do? Go do it.

💓 If you had all the money in the world, what would you spend your life doing? Start doing it.

Sail Away from the Safe Harbor

 What is one step you can take today to catch the trade winds in your sails?

'A ship is safe in a harbor, but that's not what ships are for.'

William Shedd  1820-1894

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Finding Your Balance in Troubled Times~Self Care is as Important as Caring for Others

Without turning the world off, we can get overwhelmed and exhausted--and the lines between ourselves and others blur, making us lose a sense of who we are, what we think, and what we feel.

To Everything there is a Season

Sometimes my friends accuse me of refusing to 'come down from my mountain' to play with them. They're right, of course. Sometimes this gregarious extravert just needs her own company and time to reflect and gather her inner resources.

Sometimes there's just too much going on in the world and I need to retreat into myself to re-establish my boundaries so I'm better able to give to others from a place of strength and compassion. Without time alone my energies dissipate and my thinking becomes hazy and unfocused.

To everything there is a season....including a time to be with others and a time to be with yourself if you are to remain healthy during difficult times.

Finding Your Balance in Troubled Times

It doesn't matter if you're an introvert or an extravert--when trouble hits, you need to develop a balance between being in the world caring for others and retreating to your inner world caring for yourself. We all have our own 'balance points'--with introverts generally needing more downtime than extraverts--but when life gets rocky, we all need more time alone.

When tragic events occur, we often spend too much time in the outer world worrying about and caring for others without giving ourselves enough tender loving care. Without turning the world off, we can get overwhelmed and exhausted--and the lines between ourselves and others blur, making us lose a sense of who we are, what we think, and what we feel.

It's healthy to shore up our personal boundaries. It makes us more helpful to others in their time of need.

It's good to reach out to others with compassion--especially when they're dealing with loss, death, grief or tragedy. But we can only serve as a support to others as they deal with their sorrow and grief if we have the strength to do so. If we get overwhelmed and fail to refresh ourselves, we lose our ability to be of service to those who need our help.

Tomorrow's Another Day

Stop feeling guilty if you stop to live your own life. It isn't selfish to take care of yourself, and continue to live your life or pursue your goals as you help friends and family going through tough times. You'll serve others better by building up and maintaining your own reserves along the way. Life goes on.

In the midst of crises and loss, remember tomorrow's another day. Take time for your own self care to stay strong and keep your spirits up. Take the long-haul view of the current situation and know your support and compassion will be needed for many years beyond today. 

Find an Equal Balance of Love and Care

Take care of yourself AS YOU take care of others. 

Love others AS YOU Love Yourself.

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Lieh-Tzu: Knowing How to Absorb Force with Softness is Key to Survival

Wisdom Comes from People Living Through Times of Treachery

I have a habit of starting intriguing books and failing to finish them. Before I know it, I'm off in my head thinking about the implications and 'so what's' of what I read. 

Sometimes I get stuck at the title and sometimes it's just one little passage. This is especially true when something in the book captures my imagination as it did as I began Eva Wong's 'Lieh~Tzu: A Taoist Guide to Practical Living' the other night. 

I didn't even get into 'the good stuff' before I was off pondering a little tidbit of an idea that wormed it's way into my consciousness.

As I read about the historical context for the writings of Lieh~Tzu I was struck by the thought that so many practical words of wisdom that speak to us comes from people living in times of treachery, discord, and struggle far greater than most of us experience today, with the exception of those in war-torn countries.

No matter our situation in life we all struggle to figure out the purpose of our lives, and the keys to survive and thrive. We have the opportunity to learn from the sage wisdom handed down to us through those who have lived through difficult times. But each of us absorbs messages and choose our take-away based on our own life filters. 

To truly benefit from the wisdom passed on to us we must put it to use--not just see what's written as words of enlightenment to be read in a book.  We must make good use of that wisdom.

This is why I can't finish a book: When I stumble across an intriguing thought or a bit of deep wisdom I'm compelled to think about it, apply it, and ultimately share it with others. I choose to read interactively to experience and test the truth of the written word.

Life isn't always easy. We all live through difficult times and deal with difficult people. We benefit from heeding the sage words of those who've struggled before us. 

Choose to put the wisdom you stumble on to use in your life. When you read something that speaks to you, choose to act on it to make your life better--and you a better person.

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.'

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

(....So change your ways! Stop being self-seeking, easily angered, and keeping a record of wrongs. Stop delighting in evil and dishonoring others.  Choose to build trust, hope and persevere with love, patience and kindness.)

'The rigid branch of a tree will snap in a strong storm, but the soft, bending limb will survive the storm. Knowing how to react to strength with yielding and how to absorb force with softness is the key to survival.'

Lieh-Tzu

'To the enlightened person, enlightenment is a common and ordinary experience attainable to all.'

Lieh-Tzu

'Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.'  

Eckhart Tolle

If push then pull; if pull then push.

Martial Arts technique for using the power of your opponent

Flow like a river.

Nature's technique 

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.

Making Connections and Building Trust: The Four Messages All People Want to Hear

‎"A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating that the heart is at home." Anon

Hello ~ Bonjour ~ Hola ~ Ciao ~ Hey There

Greeting another when your paths cross is such a simple social grace. It takes no time to look another in the eye, smile, and offer a simple greeting--and it does so much to ground you and improve your connection with others.

On the other hand, when you fail to acknowledge and greet people--whether co-worker, family, or stranger—you leave the others feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked. As a result you end up feeling disconnected and isolated yourself.

When you fail to acknowledge and greet people you leave them feeling invisible, unwelcome and disliked.

💓

Good morning

💓

Have a nice day.

💓

Nice chatting.

💓

Good to meet you.

💓

Love you.

💓

Be well.

💓

Peace be with you.

💓

May the force be with you.

Hello! How unique you are~a fish out of water!

To Feel Connected Make Others Feel Welcome

We all do our best work, bring our best discussions, and enjoy connecting with the people around us when we feel welcome and appreciated.

No matter what the situation, we all want to feel others are happy to be with us. From our first day of work to our last, we want to feel welcome and included in the workplace. When we join online discussions, family gatherings, or social groups we want to feel like a welcome addition--especially if we're feeling like a fish out of water.

The art of making people feel welcome is simple. In all situations convey the four messages all people want to hear.

The Four Messages All People Want to Hear

💙 I'm glad I'm here.
💚I'm glad you're here.
💛 I care about you.
💜 I know that I know.

You don't have to actually say those words; you need to convey the four welcoming messages through your actions. The simple social nicety of greeting people is a great first step. When you convey these four messages to the people you interact with you'll discover you connect with people faster--and your own happiness factor will rise.

'I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'  

Maya Angelou

Are You Connecting and Building Trust?

How do you make the people around you feel? Do you practice the art of making others feel welcome and connected? Do your actions convey to others you're happy to be here and happy they're here? Do your non-verbal messages convey you care about the other people or that you're concerned with yourself?

Are you so fixated on your own imperfections you fail to reach out to others? Are you so concerned about making an impression, getting your work done, and finding the next opportunity you can't be bothered with how you make others feel? 

💓 When you're comfortable with yourself others feel comfortable with you. 

💓 Remember~while you see yourself for what you aren't, others see you for what you are. 

💓 Practice being other-conscious, not self-conscious. Let go of fixating on your imperfections and put your focus on making others feel welcome instead.

💓 Reach out to others with a kind comment and smile.

The key to connecting with others is to make them feel you have all the time in the world for them in a few short moments of greetings. Practice conveying the four messages all people want to hear.

How High is Your 'Hello Factor'?

Go ahead--run an experiment—consciously greet and acknowledge each and every person who crosses your path for the next 24 hours. Notice--as you increase your 'Hello Factor' does your 'Happiness Factor' increase? As you focus on welcoming others, does your self-consciousness fade away?

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list. 

Comparing Private Self with Other's Public Image is Recipe for Disaster

How to Fill Yourself with Self-Doubt and Insecurity

A few years ago, a funny thing happened while I was in the throes of updating my resume during a job search. Instead of filling my head with positive attributes and praises to showcase myself, I ended up filling it with self-doubt and insecurity by mistake.

Intent on polishing my public image I thought it would be a good idea to study the profiles and experience of other like-professionals to see how they presented themselves. Good idea, right? 

I figured I could learn a lot from other professionals. Let me tell you, there are some impressive people out there-- and you're probably one!

So after spending the morning studying other's profiles I decided to take a break from my job search activities, get a cup of coffee, and relax for a few minutes before going out to the garden to conquer the weeds. 

As I took that first sip of coffee and looked over the garden, my mind lazily wandered over what I had seen in the profiles of other amazing professionals. Suddenly a flash of self-doubt and insecurity about my own skills washed over me.

What was I thinking? These people were really professional---and with incredible skills. I was just me--currently sitting in my t-shirt, jeans and muddied shoes, ready to pull weeds and haul dirt. Not exactly what you'd call a polished image. 

Forget the coffee. This feeling hit me with a thud big enough to wake me up to consider how I got there. 

How I got there was by breaking one of my cardinal rules: 

👉Never Compare Your Private Self with Other's Public Image.

Cardinal Rule #1: Never Break the Cardinal Rule

Now usually I believe rules are to be broken--and with a smile. My younger sister calls me the 'system breaker' since I'm always looking for new ways to do things. But when I set a rule for myself, it's a cardinal rule and not to be broken.

A cardinal rule is a fundamental rule, upon which other matters hinge. 

Cardinal Rule #2: Never Compare Your Private Self Image to Other's Public Image

I ended up with a momentary case of self-doubt because I broke the cardinal of all cardinal rules: never compare your private self-image to other's public image.  

It's an unfair comparison, and you'll always find yourself lacking.

When we compare our private self with other's public image, we see all our drab humanness and measure it against other's polish. It's the proverbial comparing apples to oranges.

Now perhaps you're saying to yourself--'there's no difference between my public and private self--what you see is what you get'.  It just ain't so. 

We all have a public persona and a private one. 

It doesn't matter how authentic I try to be to achieve 'what you see is what you get'. No matter how authentic I am, I still have that inner person who is the only one who sees the truth behind my eyes 24/7.

We View Ourselves and Others Differently 

There is an interesting difference in perspectives when we're looking out at others vs. looking in at ourselves. 

👉We see ourselves for what we aren't; others see us for what we are.

We all want to be better than we currently are. This leads us to see ourselves for what we aren't--like when we look at a current photo of ourselves we want to tear up while others think it is a great picture.

This isn't a bad thing--if we use it to nudge us forward. 

Where we get into trouble is when we compare ourselves to others and we see ourselves as static--forever stuck in what we aren't, and others as dynamic--forever putting their best foot forward.

Are You Doing Yourself a Disservice Comparing Your Private Self to Other's Public Image?

What's giving you a case of self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence? 

When you discover you're filled with self-doubt and insecurity, ask: 

💥 Am I making a comparison between my private self and what I see in other's public image? 

💥 Am I assuming I'm not worthy since I'm looking from within and seeing what I'm not while looking out at others and assuming they are without insecurities and self-doubt?

 Look Within to Better Understand How Others Feel Inside

Are you trying to meet new people or fit in with old friends but feel self-conscious because everyone else seems comfortable in the group and you don't feel very interesting or accomplished?

Instead of using your private self to compare yourself to other's public image, learn to use your private self and thoughts to understand the private truth in others. 

Everyone wants to: 

💓Be attractive to others,

💙Be included in a group

💚Find someone to love and to love them

💛Feel they belong

💜Meet new friends

💓Be picked out of a crowd

💙Be noticed and appreciated

💚Be liked by others

Believe in yourself. Believe in others. 

Get out there and be your self-confident, fun-loving self!

Stop comparing your private self to other's public image!

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For more than 35 years, Susan Meyerott has been helping people lighten up and step over invisible barriers to change one step at a time. She speaks to your heart, puts you at ease, and makes letting go and moving forward with life easier than ever before.

Do you know someone who could benefit from uplifting messages? Please share Lightarted Living with them. If you or someone you love is interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, join the FREE Lightarted Living mailing list.